Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Headgum & Nicole Byer
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Dec 26, 2025 • 46min

How to Trick your Partner Into Better Taste (w/ Bobby Berk)

Emmy Award-winning interior designer Bobby Berk (Queer Eye, Junk or Jackpot?) joins Nicole to share the secrets of success behind his 22-year relationship. He discusses meeting his husband on Gay.com, his trick to manipulate a partner into having better taste, and the wild reason why everyone was throwing up during his marriage proposal. Plus, he explains why he refuses to give gifts or celebrate Valentine's Day, and why giving in to those societal pressures is actually the quickest way to ruin a relationship.Watch Junk or Jackpot? Premiering today on HGTV, streaming on HBO Max.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.NOCD: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/DATEME.Wayfair: Every Style, Every Home.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Dec 19, 2025 • 1h 27min

A Cathartic Year End Rant (w/ Mike Mitchell)

Happy holidays! You’re getting an xxxtra special xxxtra long holiday episode with Santa Claus himself (Mike Mitchell - Doughboys podcast, Twisted Metal). He joins Elf Nicole to complain about why Santas are getting too hot and buff, and Nicole reveals the time she was fired for being too jolly.They talk about Mitch’s journey with long COVID, the struggle of losing libido from medications, and their shared experiences losing weight. Has it helped their sexual health? Plus, Mitch shares a truly wild dating story where his date asked someone else to hook up with her. They discuss why the holidays are secretly a very horny time, debate what to do if your partner cooks a terrible festive meal, and take a moment to vent about the current state of streamers and Hollywood.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastCheck out Nicole's review of Sizzler on the Doughboys podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvg7enGnuOU&list=PL6J5Hwj-9uXlVJHKkALbQNpdEZL3kAAbqSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Aura Frame: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/DATEME. Promo Code DATEMENOCD: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/DATEME.Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/3v6r90n6 #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Dec 12, 2025 • 1h 1min

Defending Our Marriage (w/ Latrice Royale & Christopher Hamblin)

Latrice Royale, a beloved Drag Race alum and Miss Congeniality, teams up with her husband, musical director Christopher Hamblin, to share their unique love story. They recount how a chaotic meet-and-greet led to their romance and discuss the challenges of an interracial marriage. Latrice humorously reflects on finding more freedom in jail than on set. The couple reveals their wedding planning adventures and clarify the origins of the famous 'Pop the corn' quote. Their insightful relationship advice emphasizes the importance of communication and mutual support.
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Dec 5, 2025 • 1h 2min

Oversharing (w/ Yvie Oddly & Ryan Mitchell)

Drag Race winner Yvie Oddly (season 11) and co-host Ryan Mitchell (HIGHKEY!) join Nicole to overshare.Yvie discusses her reaction to Ariana Grande naming her a favorite, her thoughts on the internet's response to her season of Drag Race, the details of her open relationship, and getting stretched out by a didgeridoo. Ryan shares his history of dating terrible men, getting cheated on 7 times, and the time he followed a stranger to a hotel for a hookup that could’ve been a murder. They all discuss the craziest things a hookup has said while they were inside you, the hottest kind of dirty talk, and whether the Simpsons are Black. We had a wild time. Tune in!For more Yvie and Ryan, check out their podcast, HIGHKEY! Available on YouTube as well.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Aura Frame: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/DATEME. Promo Code DATEMEQuince: Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Planned Parenthood: Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at PlannedParenthood.org/DefendFollow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Nov 28, 2025 • 53min

The Dark Reality of 'Skinny Privilege' (w/ Nava Kavelin)

When Nava Kavelin (host of Podcrushed) lost weight at 16, the shift in how the world treated her was immediate and jarring. She went from being invisible to having 10 boys aggressively pursuing her. She joins Nicole to unpack the complicated resentment of suddenly becoming "visible" to people who previously looked right through you.They get into why reciprocity is the bare minimum for a good relationship, the misery of dating someone long-term who won't commit, and how soap operas like Passions warped their brains into thinking it’s okay to chase people who don't like you. Nava also shares the time she downplayed her Baha'i faith for a Southern Baptist boy who turned out to only be interested in converting her.Plus, the shocking research she uncovered at the UN about how media impacts girls of color - they are sexualized as young as 3 years old, and unchecked access to porn is normalizing violence for teenagers.Meanwhile, Nicole attempts to connect with the youths, and recounts the wild, slightly racist routine she saw at Criss Angel's Las Vegas show.Heads up: This episode contains spoilers to Netflix's You.Check out Nava's new book, Crushmore at simonandschuster.com/books/Crushmore/Penn-Badgley/9781668077993Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsor:Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Nov 21, 2025 • 54min

Fraud & Legal Battles (w/ Lexi Love)

What happens when a porn actress comes after your drag name? Lexi Love (RuPaul's Drag Race S17) joins Nicole to talk through the legal fight she never expected to be in and what it is costing her to protect the career she's built. She opens up about the panic attacks she had while filming her season of Drag Race and shares the mistreatment she experienced in rehab, which became a traumatic part of her recovery journey. Plus, Lexi also talks about her past life teaching anti money laundering to bankers, her best dates, and the night she was left abandoned with a bill she couldn’t pay.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport Lexi Love's legal battle at gofundme.com/f/the-real-lexi-love-fund.See Lexi Love on tour with A Drag Queen Christmas. Get tickets at dragfans.com.Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/3v6r90n6 #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Wayfair: Wayfair. Every Style, Every Home.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer is produced by Mars. Guest research by Lyndsey Kempf. Executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. VP of content is Kaiti Moos. Theme song arranged by Mike Comite. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Nov 14, 2025 • 60min

Losing Everything (w/ Tig Notaro)

Comedian Tig Notaro, known for her candid humor and storytelling, joins to share her incredible journey through multiple life crises, including battling cancer and the loss of her mother. She reveals how these experiences shifted her perspective and led to her sweet relationship with wife Stephanie, sparked by a whimsical 'sweet dreams' text. Tig discusses the importance of humor in grief, her adventures in parenting twins, and the role of therapy in finding contentment. Plus, insights into her new documentary, Come See Me in the Good Light.
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Nov 7, 2025 • 1h 2min

Kiki-ing (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Comedian and friend Oscar Montoya (Dropout TV, Drag Her) is back for another kiki. They talk about the best slutty Halloween costumes, the casual racism in early-2000s fashion, recounts stories of wild audience members, dating someone as a "bit", and Nicole shares the time she officiated a wedding proposal while soaked in toilet water. It's a nice fun time.See the Bad Drag Race finale in LA Nov 15th, co-hosted by Nicole, Oscar, and Mano. Get tickets here.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsor:Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your unique gifts this year, go to https://uncommongoods.com/dateme.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Oct 31, 2025 • 1h 8min

Why Won't You Scare Me? (w/ Mano Agapion)

Comedian Mano Agapion, known for his work on Drag Her and We Love Trash, joins Nicole for a Halloween treat. They share spooky ghost stories, including Mano's eerie encounter in Greece and a bizarre experience with a psychic. The duo discusses the challenges of dating and reveals their thoughts on the concept of a 'funeral birthday,' complete with eulogies while lying in a casket. Laughs abound as they navigate the hauntingly funny territory of relationships, ghosts, and self-discovery.
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Oct 24, 2025 • 49min

Never Dated (w/ Kim Chi)

Drag queen icon Kim Chi (RuPaul's Drag Race S8, author of Kim Chi Eats The World) joins Nicole to talk about what it’s like to have never dated anyone, and whether she even wants to. She opens up about being afraid to get hurt, growing up with crushes who didn’t like her back, and why are all the conspiracy nuts booed up? Kim shares wild stories from her drag-tour days (including the time she was recognized during a lap dance), having a twink convention show up at her hotel, and story about queens who skip meet-and-greets and cause chaos on tour. Plus, she and Nicole bond over their mutual hatred of Animal Crossing, her love of cottage cheese, and shares easy recipes from her new cookbook Kim Chi Eats The World.Check out Kim Chi's new book, Kim Chi Eats The World at https://kimchithequeen.com/pages/cookbookWatch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Green Chef: Make this fall your healthiest yet with Green Chef. Head to Greenchef.com/50DATEME and use code 50DATEME to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping.Quince: Find your fall staples at Quince. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.SquareSpace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.BetterHelp: Visit Betterhelp.com/DATEME today to get 10% off your first month.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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