Becoming Whole

Send us a textDo you need to look at your past? If you want freedom from unwanted sexual behavior? Do you need to go back there?Do you need to think about mom and dad and kids at school and wounds you experienced if you want to be free?We're going to talk about that in today's podcast.Now, when we talk about looking at our pasts, we are not talking about blaming wounds we've experienced on our sin, we are responsible for our behaviors.Nonetheless, at Regeneration, we do spend time helping people unpack their stories, and by stories we mean their lives in the past, up to the present, and looking forward into the future.And we do that because we believe it's incredibly beneficial, and illuminating and powerful, as we want to draw nearer to Jesus, and heal from those things that have hurt us.So we can walk in greater sexual integrity.Show Notes and More at https://www.regenerationministries.org/do-i-need-to-look-at-my-past/Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWhen you find yourself lacking desire for your spouse, I would invite you to look somewhere else.I want to invite you to look at how you feel about yourself.  How good I feel about yourself is usually more of the underlying reason why you lack desire for your spouse, then your spouse's. It really has to do with you.So let me unpack that a little bit.When you look in the mirror, are you free from shame? Or maybe when you stand in front of a group of people? Do you feel free from shame with your clothes on for example?Do you feel free from shame, when you buy that great new outfit, and you get that great new haircut, and you've been working out and you feel like you look great?The fact that we spend so much time in front of the mirror, or so much time at the gym are often indicators that we actually feel a great amount of shame.We're trying to do things to cover up our shame, but if we live long enough, you find you're not really covering shame by working on how you look on the outside.If you find yourself pursuing sexual integrity, and you're lacking sexual desire for your spouse, stop focusing on them, criticizing them thinking If only they would look better.  If only they would treat me better, if only they would…Take your focus off of that.Start focusing on having Jesus restore your own sense of dignity and your own sense of goodness.That your shame was put on the body of Jesus, so that he could restore to you your sense of worth, as one who is made in the image of God, and who is in fact, designed by God to be and become more and more of a good gift for your spouse.As you embody that and carry that in the interior of who you are more and more,  you will find that your desire for your spouse grows.Highlights: When you find yourself lacking desire for your spouse. 0:04Lack of sexual desire for a spouse.Two reasons why a spouse might lack desire.Shame and the interior of you. 1:49Adam and Eve and feeling free from shame.The importance of self-improvement.How they felt good. 3:49They felt interiorly that they were a good gift to each other.Adam sees her as a help.The interior sense of goodness in ourselves. 5:20Freedom from shame comes from an interior sense of goodness.Husband's attraction to porn.The illusion of attraction is the illusion of goodness. 6:37Attraction is the illusion of goodness.Being a good gift in the world.Stop focusing on your spouse's appearance. 8:27Lack of sexual desire for your spouse.Focus on yourself, not them.Start focusing on restoring your own sense of dignity. 8:52Restore dignity and sense of goodness.Bring yourself as a good gift to your spouse.Help the show:Support the show.Give us your feedback.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textIn this podcast, we are talking about your imagination.We who are seeking sexual integrity know the problem of how our mind can get us into trouble with sexual thoughts, sexual fantasies, and sexual imaginings that lead us down a path. It can start with just a small thought that seems to kind of drift into our brain.Then something inside grabs a hold of it. And we muse on it. And it grows and grows, until we're doing things that we promised ourselves and others that we wouldn't do.So the imagination has been taken captive, and we're doing it again.What we want to remember in this podcast is that the imagination initially was not Satan's idea. It's something that he seeks to use to draw us away from God, but it wasn't his invention.The imagination is God's invention.But what did he design it for, and how can we utilize the way that God intended our imagination to be: to help us grow into the kind of people who are people of sexual integrity, sexual wholeness, and sexual maturity?Can you think about ways to engage your imagination to fill your life with the good of your imagination as opposed to allowing it to continue to move towards vices. I'm gonna give you four or five different ideas to help you answer these questions.Where are you using your imagination and creativity?Where can you use your imagination towards moving towards that brighter future?Where are you using your imagination for relationships?Where are you using your imagination to help you grow in faith?Help the show:Support the show.Help us improve the show.Leave a review.Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSo many people have ceilings on how far they can go in life.Some ceilings come from what people say is or isn’t possible as it pertains to change and transformation.In our culture many believe there is a ceiling with those who wrestle with same sex attraction or men in general, that they  will always struggle with lust and have no possibility of change.On the other side there are those that resist all ceilings, you can be absolutely healed of everything with no struggle ever again count on it, depend on it, just believe. I believe there is error on both sides of that debate.Let’s dig into what these ceilings are and how to move past them.Highlights:The reality of the ceilings on transformation.Many people have ceilings on how far they can go.Men struggle with lust. The error on both sides of this debate.People who resist and reject all ceilings.The error on both sides of the debate.The kingdom of god has come.Living in the now and not yet eschatology.The promise of Christ to make things new.Letting go of pornography.A season of change in his life.A taste of heaven in him.How do you live with same sex sexual orientation?How to live with same sex sexual orientation.The most powerful ceilings in culture. The hope of the lord.God does not promise an end to temptation.Encouraging yourself to pray for it.Set our eyes on Jesus.Set eyes on Jesus and follow him.Remove the ceiling in your name. Help the show:Support the show.Help us improve the show.Leave a review.Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textI want to talk today about a little bit of a dichotomy that a lot of people experience in their journey towards sexual integrity.If you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, or been involved in our coaching, groups, or events, I hope that you've picked up on the reality that we seek to bring the love and grace of God into all things.We believe that real life change happens through the kindness of God.It is the kindness of God that leads to repentance. Where sin increases, Paul writes in Romans, Grace increases all the more. We really are transformed by God's movement in our lives.The more we can do to open ourselves to the kindness, the goodness, the love, the gift that God is, the gifts that God offers, the better off we'll be. And in general, Legalism, being hard on ourselves beating ourselves up, doesn't work, it actually can be counterproductive towards growing in virtue and growing in sexual integrity. And so you won't experience that here.I think there's often a mistake that people make along the way, in believing that somehow temptation is just going to evaporate, that they're just going to one day just stop sinning.Now, I do believe that can happen. And I do believe it can happen over time.That's beautiful, wonderful, I think it's going to happen for you as you continue to go. But the journey to get there does include times of having to fight sexual temptation. It does include times where you will have a desire to act out sexually, a desire to go back to that same old well, and you will have to resist, you will have to work hard not to do it.You will have to say NO to that temptation,  I'm not going down this route, in Jesus name!Tune in as we talk about ways to fight, without being hard on yourself or legalistic. Ways that aren’t a sexual integrity bootcamp.Help the show:Support the show.Help us improve the show.Leave a review.Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textIf you are tuning into this podcast you are either wrestling with or striving for sexual integrity or love someone who is struggling with sexual integrity, or you just care about this topic. I believe as we take a look at a small part in Jesus' life we find a very big revelation.God had a design for human beings. They were designed to reflect the image of the invisible God. That image of God is a self giving, self donating loving God who rules over His creation in a loving way. And their male and female complementary physical design, was meant to image that as they lovingly give themselves to each other. Not using each other, not lusting after each other, but giving of themselves lovingly. This is God’s beautiful Design.But Adam and Eve both rebelled and every single person after them did as well. All humanity has, until Jesus. Jesus lovingly gives himself, His body, His life for us.When Jesus is arrested and in the custody of Pilot at this point the crowds are calling for Jesus to be crucified. Pilot, without truly understanding why, tells the onlookers to “behold the man.” From his perspective he is like, here is the guy, look at this guy. But when you look a bit closer, a little deeper there is something very profound.Look at Him, this is what humanity should be, this is the image of God. This is selfless love. This is what it means to give your body for another. Behold the Man!Why does that matter for you and me?In all the ways we have failed, Jesus has been victorious. So we don’t look to ourselves, but look unto Him.He is showing us not just an exception to the rule, but the image we too are made in.Help the show:Support the show.Help us improve the show.Leave a review.Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWhen we are pursuing sexual integrity, we all experience this mental combat between sexual sin and our desire for sexual integrity. It’s not just an experience we have in our thought life alone.We feel it in our bodies when they become aroused by things we see, the thoughts we have, and by the longings we have.One of the ways we try to combat and move away from our sexual orientations is by thinking about good things.And so we take our sexually sinful thoughts, we try to train them out for pure thoughts, good thoughts, thoughts about beauty, thoughts about truth. But I think a lot of us when we do that, we forget that there are good, pure, true thoughts about sex.And so we go from thinking sexual thoughts that are sinful to thinking about anything else besides sex.We try to get our thoughts in other places. And that’s good, because sex is not everything in life. But there’s so much good about God’s design for sex, that can actually help us to grow in sexual integrity. And so as we think and allow our minds to be transformed by God’s good, true Holy design, beautiful design for sexuality, you can actually ramp up our journey towards sexual integrity. But, what do we mean? Like, what does the sexual relationship between husband and wife in a lifelong loving marriage convey about the image of God?How does the wife convey God’s image? How does the husband convey God’s image? What can we find about his beauty, his goodness there?Let’s answer these questions together today in this podcast.Outline: The battle between sexual sin and desire for sexual integrity.There is so much good about god’s design for sex.How to define sexual integrity?Why did you choose for sex to be like this?A picture of god’s heart for us.Our bodies tell god’s story.The mystery of God’s heart conveyed through sex.Help the show:Support the show.Help us improve the show.Leave a review.Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textIn today's podcast, I have three simple mental shifts for you. These three simple changes you can make will help you in your journey toward sexual integrity. It is my aim that these small mental adjustments will help you see how you should approach your journey for sexual integrity in a fresh light.Mental Shifts1. From this as an opportunity to sin to this as an opportunity to grow.2. Every time you hear the word I or me in your thoughts, shift to asking the question, “Is it really me talking or the enemy?”3. Recognize when you're thinking about temptation, that you are really thinking about people.Outline:Simple mental shifts to help with sexual integrity.Shifting from opportunity to sin to opportunity to grow. Simple mental shift number 2.The malevolent voice in your head. Mental shift number three.Mental shifts to overcome temptation. Help the show:Support the show.Help us improve the show.Leave a review.Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textHave you ever wanted to stop something so badly, yet couldn’t figure out how to stop. Or even why? Have you tried to stop lusting?In this weeks podcast, just speaks to the importance of learning to love in recovery from unwanted sexual behavior, rather than just focusing on stopping the behavior.Key takeaways:The goal of recovery should be to learn to love in a self-giving way, rather than just stopping the unwanted behavior.God’s mercy flows to the lowest places, and His grace is for those places. He is there right alongside us in those place. Let Him in.Counter arguments:It may feel wrong to receive God’s mercy in places where we feel like we know better and keep doing it anyway.It may be difficult to open up those places to another person and ask for their help. When you are able to though, Regeneration is here. Resources:The Definition of LustHow to Stop Lusting in One StepOutline:The problem with trying to stop certain behaviors.A better goal than stopping your lust.We need to first be loved by god.Consider for yourself how not receiving God’s love works for you.Forgiveness cannot be earned.How can we experience God’s love in the face of sexual sin?Use your imagination open your mind.The first step to love like god.Help the show:Support the show.Help us improve the show.Leave a review.Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.Follow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textLiving in a digital age, we are faced with the reality that we have tough competition. That the internet is competing for our attention, our affection, for our questions, and our devotion.Today we will talk about this competition and what it provides; especially in the area of sexual integrity. Whether it's a struggle with pornography, or looking for hookups. So often, we are turning to our devices for things that are really, really good. And our devices offer pretty tough competition. So let me just give you five examples.The Internet provides all the things your looking forThe internet never shames youThe Internet never makes you feel like an outsiderThe Internet rewards curiosity.The Internet is always availableBut does it really, are these statements true? Join us today as we expose the online god and reveal what it actually does for us and to us.Discover the truth of what we are really looking for and how to find it.Resources:Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for ParentsOutline:The tough competition of the internet.The internet never shames you. Why the internet is always available.The internet never shames but it always shames.Has the internet ever invited you to look deeper?The internet is always available to you.Jesus has everything you're looking for.God rewards curiosity and always available. Help the show:Support the showAsk a question by emailing usLeave a reviewSubscribe wherever you get your podcastsFollow us on YouTube for behind the scenes and more.Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)