Becoming Whole

Send us a textThe habit loop, for good or bad, goes something like this: Trigger. Craving. Response. Reward. Let's get Practical About Recovery.When it comes to unwanted sexual behaviors, that loop slides shame in just after the reward. That’s why you’re here now. You’re doing the work to break the cycle. But sometimes, the work feels annoying, unnecessary, and even boring.If you wish you could stop with the steps and just “lean into Jesus,” you’re in the right place.  Friend, there is a battle for your heart. And Jesus, as both God and man, wants you whole.  The battle plan must include the heart work and the homework. Listen in as Josh lays out your battle plan using both spiritual and the practical.Highlights:“The ultimate freedom we have as human beings is the power to select what we will allow our minds to dwell upon. It is in our thoughts that the first movements toward the renovation of the heart occur.”-Dallas WillardYou are free to choose what you do, brothers and sisters, but these things have consequences for you and for others.When we put up practical boundaries it creates space again. It slows the process down so we don’t find ourselves too far in.Homework:Consider Jesus asking you this question, “What are you looking for?” Let’s try doing a Heart Map. In the center of a piece of paper, write out in a word or two the thing that you’re struggling with - porn, lust, affair, etc. draw a circle around it. Around it, write the feeling you get from it, write the feeling you experience after, write the experience or person that led you to this moment. Draw a circle around each of those and then connect those circles to the center one. What are the details of those feelings? Is there something in common that you see on that piece of paper? A heart map can slow your brain down long enough for your eyes and heart to catch up with the “thing beneath the thing” - your motivation. Let Jesus ask you the question, do the practical homework and listen long enough for Him to guide you through the answers.Extras:1 Corinthians 6:12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything"—but I will not be mastered by anything.”1 Corinthians 10Romans 6:16 “Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?”For more on this topic, check our latest artSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThere’s an exclusivity in the topic of sexual abuse and rape as something that only happens to women. That is simply false. Men, let this episode invite you in, giving you space to consider what may have felt “weird” or called “lucky” as perhaps, abuse. Allow this time to clearly define your understanding of what sexual abuse and rape can mean for men. You are not meant to be left out.Let’s begin with affirming that what happened to you was wrong, that it was a violation, it was abuse. Don’t carry it alone anymore.Highlights:A sexual violation is a violation because it is a failure to respect the body of another person.God wants to restore the truth of who you are.There are so many men who were sexually abused as children, or as young adults, or who were sexually violated as men, including adult men who had been raped and did not know that’s what they could call it.Homework:You are worthy of Healing. What does that look like?Making space to acknowledge that what happened to you was a violation, was abuse.Finding A trusted person in your life that you can talk about it.Taking time to grieve.Setting up boundaries within relationships and your own memories.Moving towards forgiveness in sexual and relational health.Extras:Andrew Comiskey – Living Waters“Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for Parents” by Josh Glaser and Daniel WeissFor more on this topic, check our latest article Was It “Weird” or Was It Abuse?Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textMost of us battling unwanted sexual behaviors teeter between Option A- Resist or Option B-Give In. Which option do you choose? If you’re wrestling with issues of pornography, lust or masturbation; this episode explores another Option.  Jesus is inviting you to see more, not to see less. As St. John Paul II put it “there is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person.” Let’s unpack the options together to understand them better. Then, moving towards integrity, let’s pray to see.Highlights:First reaction is to look, to indulge. The second reaction is to look away, to avert our eyes in some way.There’s a problem with both reactions in the moment of temptation“There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person.  In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.” - St. John Paul IIHomework:We need our hearts purified and our eyes opened. Rather than praying to stop your unwanted behavior, pray “Lord I want to see.”Extras:Facebook Group for “Men Who See”  St. John Paul II “There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person.  In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.”Luke 7 Sinful Woman Anoints JesusJesus asks, “Simon, do you see this woman?”Luke 18 A Blind Beggar Receives his sight - “When he came near, Jesus asked him, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.”"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" Matthew 5:8Matthew 6:22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.”Romans 1 The truth about God is evident all around us in CreationGenesis 1 God created man and woman in his imageFor more on this topic, check our latest article Why Avoiding Lust Can Be a TrapTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textIn your journey towards sexual integrity, it matters what you’re looking at, it matters what you’re looking for. Focus on the Cross!In this episode, we hope to encourage you to fix your focus on the Cross.As you’re doing the work to become whole, to break old patterns, to make new choices; set your eyes on Jesus on the Cross. Don’t let shame or hopelessness take your eyes off the Salvation Jesus is offering you from the Cross. Focusing on the Cross with you!Highlights:It matters what we’re looking at. It matters what we’re looking for, and that’s absolutely true in our journey towards sexual integrity.If you’re a person who struggles with sexual sin, or you know somebody who does, I want to commend to you the importance of focusing your life around Jesus on the Cross.Keeping the Cross in front of us always acknowledges for us and reveals to us that we are not done yet, that there is forgiveness for us, that there is a place where our sin and failure goes. There’s a place where our shame belongs.Extras:Ephesians 5, Song of Solomon, Genesis 2 and 3 - For more on Jesus giving his body to his bride, the Church.Fleming Rutledge “The Crucifixion: Understanding the Death of Jesus Christ ”For more on this topic, check our latest article Failing or Thriving, Eyes on the CrossTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textLet’s continue the conversation on Identity and Sexual Orientation. This matters because becoming whole includes radical change for our sexual orientation. But, we live in a sexually confused world, one that has decided on its own words and definitions.In this episode, Josh offers more on the topic through a Christian lens.  We’re diving deeper into Sexual Orientation, the concept of Change and Happiness. The bottom line is we all need to change our sexual orientation. You read that right. We all need for Jesus to come in and realign our desire to be more in line with His intent. Listen in.Highlights:Because we’re all living in a very sexually confused world, we all have a need for our sexual orientation to change. For Jesus to come in and realign, reorient our desires to more align with His intent.The world suggests happiness now, death later. But the way of the Christian is death now, happiness later.Can we support one another in our journey to being redeemed in this area of our lives, not separating ourselves as those who feel homosexual attractions and those who feel heterosexual attractions?Homework:Luke 7:36-50 “Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman” Notice what changed in her own sexual orientation. She was now orienting her passions, her desires, her heart, her loves towards Christ. For more on this topic, check our latest article The Not-So-Subtle Indicator of Sexual Orientation Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWe’re looking at Sexual Orientation in a special two-part series. If this feels personal, that’s okay. It’s important to recognize that sexual orientation is quite personal. But, the world has laid out it’s terms and it’s ideals for what sexual orientation means. Our culture tells us who we’re attracted to in fact, defines us. In this series, we’ll be discussing the cultural conversation set up with cultural standards and comparing it to what Jesus has to say about you. The world is feeding you a narrative. Jesus is inviting you into your identity.Highlights:A Definition: Sexual orientation is the direction of your sexual or romantic attractions.Culturally, we talk about sexual orientation not as something people experience, not just as a feeling that they’ve got but as a matter of identity, a matter of who a person isChristianity would teach that people are much, much more than the direction that their sexual, romantic desires point them.We have to recognize Christ’s perspective about sexual orientation is that every single one of us has a sexual orientation that needs His redemption. Every single one of us.Homework:Matthew 5:27-28John 4 Woman at the WellFor more on this topic, check our latest article Did Jesus Talk about Sexual Orientation?Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textYour body is a glimpse of God himself, a Theology of the Body.“The human body includes right from the beginning... the capacity of expressing love, that love in which the person becomes a gift – and by means of this gift – fulfills the meaning of his being and existence.”That being said, where are you headed sexually?Together, let’s cast a clear vision for our sexuality the way God intended it. The theology of the body is larger than just a freedom from lust. The vision God has for you is to be sexually whole, as man or woman. Lord, give our bodies vision to reflect your glory.Highlights:What’s your vision of what it means for you to be a sexually whole person?“The body is not just biological, it’s theological.” - Christopher WestSex between a husband and wife is meant to communicate something about God’s love for his people.In God’s economy, wholeness means that person is becoming more of who they’re meant or designed to be, including to be as a male or female.Extras:"…the body, and it alone, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine. It was created to transfer into the visible reality of the world, the mystery hidden since time immemorial in God, and thus to be a sign of it.” Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher WestGenesis 1 God creates Man and Woman“The human body includes right from the beginning... the capacity of expressing love, that love in which the person becomes a gift – and by means of this gift – fulfills the meaning of his being and existence.” – St. John Paull IIFor more on this topic, check our latest article What’s Your Vision of Sexuality?Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textLooking up pornography, arranging an affair or hookup; these things cut you off from you. Unwanted sexual behaviors are an escape mechanism and their gift is dissociation. When you don’t know how to deal with the hardships in your life, dissociating through distraction can feel like an easy way out. But the further deep you are in your sexual sin, the farther you are walking away from you. This leaves you operating in this world with mere fragments of you. God made you body, mind, heart and soul. You can start reconnecting the fragments.  This is key in having a healthy sexual relationship with your spouse or future spouse. Learning how and why to face patterns of dissociation is an important first step towards becoming whole. Let’s get started.Highlights:“Dissociation seduces us out of the present moment and into the meaningless world of distraction.” - Jay StringerWe learn to run to sexual activity to dissociate from the difficult things in life.Sex within marriage is meant to be a time of deep, intimacy and connection not a time of dissociation.Homework:Let’s practice being present to the emotions we feel.  Grounding is a way to bridge the gap between brain and body and heart.  Practice Grounding in good feelings and bad feelings. Allow your body to feel the emotions as opposed to shutting them down. Practice belly breathing--place one hand on your stomach, and the other on your chest. Breathe slowly and deeply into your belly, trying to raise your hand like you are filling up a balloon or beach ball with air. Try to keep the hand on your chest still, breathing only into your stomach. Slowly breathe out, feeling the hand on your stomach lower like the balloon or ball is deflating. Notice how your breathing changes with the emotion.5 Senses - What do you see? What do you feel? What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you taste? Slow down and take notice of your senses during a time when you feel panic, fear or sadness.Extras:“Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing” by Jay StringerFor more on this topic, check our latest article Be Curious About What You FeelTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textParents, we are living in a digitally connected, sexually saturated world. Being a mom or dad in this day and age can feel more like Pioneer Parenting.  We are the first generation to raise kids in a world that is globally connected, 24/7.   And the internet can be tough competition, especially when it comes to talking to our kids about sex. When you’re too tired or too uncomfortable to have “The Talk” with your son or daughter; the internet is always ready and willing to answer any question. No filter. The internet is never going to be stumped by their questions.  In fact, our kids have access to words and ideas we’ve never heard of. So Parenting Pioneers, how do we handle this? As your kids wonder, don’t let them wander. Questions about sex come from natural, normal curiosity. Your kids need you, not a search engine. Listen in for encouragement and look to the Homework section for practical tips to equip you as you navigate the world alongside your child.Highlights:We are the first generation to raise kids in world that is both digitally connected, sexually saturated.We as moms or dads, in this digital age, have to step up or game in regards to parenting kids in this generation.The internet’s never going to say “You’re too young to be asking that question.”Homework:Start having important, age-appropriate conversations with your kids while they’re young.More conversations, more comfort. While it may feel awkward and awful at first, don’t limit you or your child to just one intense conversation. Keep the dialogue open and ongoing. The more conversations you have with your child, the more relaxed you’ll both feel about them.Find adults in your community to help bear your insecurities and burdens, to practice conversations with them.Extras:Check out Josh's new book - Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for ParentsFor more on this topic, check our latest article Why Parents Are Better Than the InternetTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe power to see and be seen is more than just opening our eyes. We easily diminish that power with our human tendencies towards lust or comparison or judgment. What is it like to see how Jesus sees? In this episode, we’ll examine our human vision versus Jesus’ all-powerful, all-knowing, loving vision. Jesus knows you through and through and loves you. Before hitting play, pray the words of a blind beggar and open your heart to learning how to see and be seen; “Lord I want to see.”Let's become whole together by seeing as He sees.Highlights:When we look at one another we have a tendency to compare each other.When we look at one another we evaluate - we’re either raising someone or lowering someone on some kind of scale.We consume one another with our eyes.Jesus sees it all and yet he doesn’t compare us, doesn’t evaluate us, doesn’t consume us.Homework:The prescription to see like Jesus is to take and eat. In order to become a person who sees like Jesus sees (who doesn’t compare, evaluate or consume others), let’s start by praying like Bartimaeus, “Lord, we want to see. Open our eyes to see.”Extras:Galatians 5:15 “If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”For more on this topic, check our latest article Why Being Seen Is Scary Business.Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)