Looking up pornography, arranging an affair or hookup; these things cut you off from you. Unwanted sexual behaviors are an escape mechanism and their gift is dissociation.
When you don’t know how to deal with the hardships in your life, dissociating through distraction can feel like an easy way out. But the further deep you are in your sexual sin, the farther you are walking away from you.
This leaves you operating in this world with mere fragments of you.
God made you body, mind, heart and soul. You can start reconnecting the fragments. This is key in having a healthy sexual relationship with your spouse or future spouse.
Learning how and why to face patterns of dissociation is an important first step towards becoming whole.
Let’s get started.
Highlights:
“Dissociation seduces us out of the present moment and into the meaningless world of distraction.” - Jay Stringer
We learn to run to sexual activity to dissociate from the difficult things in life.
Sex within marriage is meant to be a time of deep, intimacy and connection not a time of dissociation.
Homework:
Let’s practice being present to the emotions we feel. Grounding is a way to bridge the gap between brain and body and heart. Practice Grounding in good feelings and bad feelings. Allow your body to feel the emotions as opposed to shutting them down.
- Practice belly breathing--place one hand on your stomach, and the other on your chest. Breathe slowly and deeply into your belly, trying to raise your hand like you are filling up a balloon or beach ball with air. Try to keep the hand on your chest still, breathing only into your stomach. Slowly breathe out, feeling the hand on your stomach lower like the balloon or ball is deflating. Notice how your breathing changes with the emotion.
- 5 Senses - What do you see? What do you feel? What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you taste? Slow down and take notice of your senses during a time when you feel panic, fear or sadness.
Extras:
“Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing” by Jay Stringer
For more on this topic, check our latest article Be Curious About What You Feel
Transcription:
Full Transcription Available here
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Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)