Becoming Whole

You can have the best intentions, the strongest willpower, and a stack of books on sexual integrity and still feel like nothing is changing. We have seen why, over and over: most people try to heal by investing in only one lane. Real recovery from pornography, sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, and sexual wounds tends to accelerate when three essentials show up together: content, community, and counsel. Josh sits down with Aaron Tagert and Greg Ruhland to unpack what each “C” actually looks like in real life. We talk about why good recovery content is more than information, it gives language for the questions you cannot answer yet, and it helps shame lose its grip. We also share practical guidance on how to choose resources without spiraling into overwhelm or using knowledge as a way to control what feels uncontrollable. Then we move into community: the difference between general church community and a specialized recovery cohort where people can hold your story with grace. We name the power of “Me too,” the courage that rises when someone goes first, and why sexual brokenness is ultimately relational, which means isolation can never be the path out. Finally, we get specific about counsel through coaching, therapy, sponsorship, or spiritual direction, and how one-to-one support helps you explore the “iceberg” beneath behavior and heal what is actually driving it. If you are missing one of the three Cs, let this be your nudge to rebuild your plan. Subscribe for more conversations like this, share this with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a review so more people can find help. What is the one C you want to strengthen next?Talk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

If you’ve ever thought, “I believe the Bible, so why does God still feel far away?” this conversation is for you. We start with the uncomfortable truth that you can become incredibly skilled at the wrong thing: years of rehearsing shame, compulsive habits, and the lie that you’re unloved. Then we flip the script toward a different kind of mastery: learning to recognize your heavenly Father’s voice with clarity, confidence, and peace. James Craig sits down with Reverend Dr. John Lo to explore a deeply biblical and surprisingly practical approach to hearing God. We talk about identity formation, attachment, and why many Christians live like functional deists even while holding orthodox beliefs. You’ll hear how Scripture frames hearing God as part of our inheritance, how to tell the difference between conviction and condemnation, and why the voice calling you “stuck forever” may not be your voice at all. We also get concrete about spiritual disciplines that work: “FaceTime with God,” Lectio Divina style listening, journaling what you sense God saying, and delaying discernment until after you’ve listened. We explain why community matters for testing what you hear, how confidence grows through small steps of obedience, and how God can gently lead you into inner healing when old memories still shape today’s reactions. If you want a healthier prayer life, deeper intimacy with Jesus, and real freedom from shame-driven cycles, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review to help more people find the show. What would change if you truly believed God is for you?Talk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Pain has a way of driving our choices, especially the choices we regret most. When unwanted sexual behaviors show up, it’s tempting to reduce everything to willpower, rules, or stronger accountability. We’ve learned that lasting sexual integrity usually requires something deeper: changing how we relate to pain, how we relate to other people, and how we relate to ourselves.Josh is joined by Greg Ruhland from our church engagement team to explore what it looks like to stop medicating discomfort and start listening to it. We talk about the common defaults most of us learned for handling emotional pain: muscling through, numbing out, or getting stuck in self-pity. Then we offer a different framework: pain as an (unpleasant) messenger that points to what needs care and healing. Greg shares how practices like journaling and naming what God sees can turn lonely pain into a place where presence becomes possible.From there, we shift to relationships and why secrecy keeps sexual brokenness alive. We unpack the courage it takes to be known, what makes a safer listener, and the three simple questions that help people feel understood instead of fixed. Finally, we connect shame and identity to attachment theory, showing how the longing to feel seen, soothed, safe, and secure can get hijacked by porn, fantasy, and other counterfeit intimacy. If you want a clearer path toward freedom that goes beyond behavior control, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find this conversation.Talk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Fantasy is a soft place to land because it demands nothing from us. Reality is harder and that’s exactly why it changes us. We sit with a blunt question that can reshape recovery: if you keep returning to porn, sexual fantasy, scrolling, or busyness, what pain or fear are you trying not to feel? When we stop fighting symptoms and start listening, escape loses some of its power. We talk about why modern life makes it easier than ever to build a “virtual reality” that feels safer than the real world, and why Jesus keeps inviting us back into the present where healing actually happens. We also draw a line between healthy imagination that restores us and unhealthy fantasy that replaces our life. Along the way, we bring in insights from Dallas Willard, C.S. Lewis, and the simple wisdom that growth requires courage, community, and truth telling. If you’re working through porn addiction recovery, sexual integrity, betrayal trauma, or just a constant need to numb out, you’ll hear practical language for identifying core needs under arousal like exhaustion, loneliness, grief, and the need for rest. We close with a prayer to break the quiet “agreements” many of us learned early on, the idea that we’re not allowed to feel what we really feel, and to step into reality with God instead of running from it. If this helps you name what you’ve been avoiding, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the path from escape to wholeness.Resources from this Episode:Dallas Willard’s 4 Questions  Restored To MoreC.S. Lewis - Screwtape Letters Talk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

A trigger can feel like proof that something is wrong with you.But we’ve learned to see it differently: emotional pain that taps an unhealed wound and yanks us out of our best thinking. When that happens, our bodies often take over with fight, flight, fawn, freeze, or a rush toward self-comfort that can slide straight into the addiction cycle. We slow all of that down and ask a better question: what if the trigger is an invitation to connection and healing?We get practical about what to do in real time when you’re activated and you do not have space for a full inner healing session. We talk about somatic grounding, noticing where the trigger lives in your body, placing a hand on your heart or stomach, orienting to safety, and speaking kindness to the parts of you that learned to survive. Then we bring Jesus directly into it with honest prayer: What am I reacting to? What am I fighting? What do I need to hear right now? This is a Christian approach to triggers that respects both the nervous system and the presence of God.If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s navigating triggers, and leave a review so more people can find it. What’s one trigger you want to approach as an invitation this week?Talk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

If you’ve ever wondered why your recovery feels slow even when you’re doing “all the right things,” this conversation names a missing piece that can change your trajectory: retreat. We talk about why getting away for a concentrated weekend is not escapism, but a powerful and practical recovery tool that helps you go deeper than weekly therapy, coaching, or group can often reach on their own. When time expands and distractions shrink, the real story under the behavior has room to surface and heal. We unpack what actually makes retreats effective for sexual recovery and Christian discipleship: the momentum of a whole group pursuing honesty together, the way vulnerability becomes contagious, and the built-in buffer that keeps you from doing hard work and then immediately numbing out. You’ll hear personal stories of breakthrough moments, including how healing old wounds can change temptation patterns and move you from managing sobriety to living with greater freedom. We also talk about the barriers that keep people away: shame, cost, scheduling, and the fear of admitting you need help. Then we explore why beauty and kindness matter in a retreat setting, how being cared for can challenge the lie that you are unworthy, and why Scripture shows Jesus repeatedly inviting his friends to come away with him to rest and reset. If you feel even a mustard seed of desire for more wholeness, you’re not alone, and you’re not behind. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review. What would it look like for you to take one brave step toward deeper healing this year?Talk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

A lot of us want joy without the valley, freedom without the tears, and healing without feeling what happened. That’s why we start with a vivid picture: your inner world as a dinner party where every emotion shows up, including the ones you’d rather avoid. When we refuse to “come downstairs,” we often reach for fast comfort and one of the most powerful shortcuts is sex. It can feel like relief, but it’s a pseudo-resurrection that never brings real repair. James Craig sits down with Kyle Bowman to talk about what happens when we stop running and begin paying attention to disappointment, grief, and the places our stories still ache. Kyle shares part of her journey of moving from a distant, “God is out there” mindset to an experience of being surrounded and pursued by the Lord’s love. From there we connect the dots between family of origin wounds, unmet attachment needs, and the deep desires every heart carries: being heard, affirmed, blessed, safe, appropriately touched, chosen, and included. We get practical about Christian grief processing: how to acknowledge loss, how to practice lament with the Psalms, and how tools like Emmanuel journaling can help you meet Jesus in the pain rather than bypass it. We also explore why sadness can turn into anxiety or anger when tears are blocked, why temptation often points to avoided grief, and how God’s comfort leads to resilient joy on the other side. If you’re navigating sexual brokenness, betrayal trauma, or simply a stuck heart, this conversation offers language, hope, and next steps. Subscribe for more conversations on wholeness, share this with a friend who’s carrying something heavy, and leave a review so others can find the show. What’s one grief you’ve been trying not to feel?Resources from this episode:7 Desires of Every Heart.pdfLanguage of lament worksheet.pdfImmanuel Journaling.pdfThree Percent Podcast referenced about sadness: How To Be Less Triggered with Dr. Kelly FlanaganDark Clouds, Deep Mercy - Mark VroegopTalk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

The question “Can same-sex attraction change?” is rarely just curiosity. It usually carries fear: “Will I ever be able to marry?” “Is this who I am?” “If this shows up again, does that mean God isn’t working?” Josh sits down with Kyle Bowman and Greg Ruhland from Regeneration to talk honestly about change, discipleship, and what a hopeful, grounded Christian perspective can look like when you’re tired of shame and exhausted from trying to white-knuckle your way into freedom.Kyle shares her personal journey from years of same-sex relationships to a slow reorientation of desire that comes from pursuing Jesus daily, not chasing a perfect internal state. Greg shares his story of early shame, pornography, and the long work of learning to “replace lust with love,” brick by brick. Along the way, we talk about tenderness, confession without condemnation, and why God’s kindness can meet you even when you feel like you brought the pain on yourself.We also break the conversation into practical categories: behavior, identity, and desires. We unpack why desire can function like a “check engine light,” how identity labels can shrink a person’s full story, and why community and the Holy Spirit matter for real change. If you’re wrestling with unwanted desires, sexual temptation, or fear about your future, you’ll walk away with language, next steps, and hope that doesn’t depend on a single moment.Subscribe for more conversations like this, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. What part of your story needs curiosity and kindness right now?Resources from this episode:Regeneration spiritual coaching - Men | WomenAwaken men’s retreatSacred by Design women’s retreatGrowth into Manhood by Alan MedingerUnwanted by Jay StringerTalk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

A single word can change what someone believes about themselves. “Addiction.” “Trauma.” “Struggle.”  James Craig and therapist Blake Brinkman talk honestly about why certain terms can shut people down, especially when they carry cultural baggage, and how a simpler word like struggle can sometimes open the door to truth, humility, and real support.We also get specific about sexual brokenness and pornography addiction, including why compulsive porn use can function like a process addiction even without a substance. When you understand the cycle and what’s happening in the brain, it becomes easier to pursue the right kind of care instead of trying to white-knuckle change. From there, we move into one of the most important tensions in Christian recovery: naming reality without letting a label become your identity. We respect programs that help people confess what’s true, while also holding tight to a deeper foundation: you are not a diagnosis; you are a beloved son or daughter invited into sanctification.If you’re a pastor trying to shepherd well, a spouse processing betrayal wounds, or someone tired of repeating the same cycle, you’ll walk away with clearer language and a more hopeful map forward. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the help they’ve been avoiding.Resources from this episode:Addiction Cycle WorksheetMannaTalk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Anger can feel like the problem, but what if it’s actually the cover story? Aaron Tagert and James Craig pull on a thread that has reshaped their coaching conversations: sadness often starts in the gut, rises toward tears, and when we block it, it can convert into anxiety in the chest or burst out as anger from the mouth. That shift matters for anyone who feels stuck in frustration, shame, or emotional shutdown and can’t figure out why the smallest things set them off.We get practical and personal, talking about jaw tension, tight chests, fatigue, and the subtle ways our bodies reveal what our words won’t. We also name how selective numbing shows up in real life, including patterns like pornography use, compulsive scrolling, food, sugar, fantasy, and other forms of escape. The point isn’t to moralize; it’s to understand emotional regulation and the hidden grief underneath so we can pursue real healing, deeper connection, and lasting integrity.We keep it rooted in Christian discipleship and recovery: Jesus never bypasses emotion, Jesus wept, and Scripture makes space for lament, sorrow, and joy. You’ll hear simple questions to ask when you feel numb, anxious, or angry, plus a guided reflection you can try this week to move from reacting to responding. If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t have feelings, I just get mad,” this conversation gives you a new map.Subscribe, share this with someone who lives on the edge of frustration, and leave a review so more people can find practical, hope-filled tools for emotional health and spiritual growth.Resources from this episode:Three Percent Podcast Conversation w/ Dr/ FlanaganAwaken RetreatSacred By Design Retreat 2026Talk To US Join us for the Awaken Retreat, a weekend designed to help men step out of isolation and into deeper honesty, healing, and connection.October 9th -11th | Early Bird Registration Available More Information & Registration 2026 Upcoming Retreats - Register Today!Sacred By Design Women's Retreat  | October 17thFree Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)