Struggle Care

The podcast explores the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals when it comes to building habits and discipline. It discusses alternative approaches that cater to their unique needs and motivations. The concept of patterns as routines not tied to a specific time is introduced, highlighting their efficiency and ability to overcome decision paralysis. Examples of patterns in daily activities and the importance of personalized self-care are discussed.

The podcast discusses the challenges of parenting, including reactive moments and the impact on children. It explores responsive vs. reactive parenting, handling questions from kids, and how personal issues affect parenting behavior. The importance of modeling emotional resilience, apologizing, and acknowledging flaws as parents is emphasized. The guest speaker's platform, Mama Cusses, aims to normalize modern parenting.

 I’m joined today by Dr. Lesley Cook as we tackle some listener questions around various topics. Come and join us now!Show Highlights: Tips for someone with no energy due to chronic illness: take care of the basics, conserve your energy, and use whatever hacks work for you Tips for someone who struggles to cook dinner every night: switch things up, identify your mountain, and realize that a bowl of cereal for dinner is OK! Tips for how to study when no one ever taught you: experience the information in different ways, make a memory game, and share the information back and forth with a study partner  How to study when you don’t know what’s important to study How to use accommodations that are available to you How to ask a teacher or professor for study help How to take notes and encode the information in meaningful ways How fidget toys, drawing, and doodling can help you listen and learn Resources:Connect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m excited to introduce you to today’s guest. Imani Barbarin is a disability rights and inclusion activist and speaker who uses her platform for conversations around the disability community. I’ve followed her for a while on TikTok and appreciate the way she expresses her opinions and helps educate the rest of us. Come join us now!Show Highlights: How Imani explored and discovered her passion for advocacy for disability and inclusion rights How climate change and disability are linked Why environmental ableism is a real thing How people have become victims of their non-nuanced thinking, only wanting to be on the “right” side Why the COVID pandemic has become a “mass-disabling” event, especially regarding mental health Examples of ways in which the environmental movement has left those with disabilities behind Why society has a general disdain for disabled people and believes that they don’t (or won’t) contribute to society How the luxury of abled people trumps the necessity of the disabled What the function of capitalism is on disabled bodies How disabled people are used as pawns in the pro-choice/pro-life debate Why there is inherent racism in the pro-life movement What laziness is and is not Resources:Connect with Imani: Website and InstagramResources mentioned: https://www.sinsinvalid.org, https://disasterstrategies.org, https://www.americanprogress.org Connect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have the perfect person to answer a question about “trauma cleaning” as a result of being raised by a parent who was emotionally and verbally abusive about keeping a clean house. This question came from Maria, a TikTok follower, and I’m jumping into this topic in today’s episode with my guest, Amanda Dodson. Join us!Show Highlights: Why this is a common feeling for many people when they sense barriers around care tasks A good first step: Try to separate the behavioral home care task from the interpersonal problem with the parent Why you have to decide how YOU want your home to be for your own comfort and safety–not how your parent would want it to be Why it’s important to have compassion for yourself and awareness of what you need in your space to function well How to identify what you need from your space and use a triage approach to get there How to have your environment and emotions “meet” at a halfway point How to take small steps toward organizing that work for you and your family Connect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you joined us for Episode 7, you heard the beginning of my series with Kate. If not, you can listen to Part 1 on the Restoring Relationships Podcast. Kate and I met because of our differing viewpoints as we interacted through TikTok videos. We have since taken the time for discussion, proving that disagreements, conflicts, and drama are part of normal life that should be approached with mutual respect and understanding. I’m continuing the conversation with Kate Leggett, a student in her final semester of graduate school to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. Kate uses her TikTok channel to help restore   relationships. Even though our relationship didn’t begin well, we are making strides in communicating with respect and understanding around disagreements and conflicts. The ability to gain a fresh perspective and engage with another person in the face of disagreement is an important topic in today’s world! Listen in and be the “fly on the wall” as we model real-life conflict, relationships, and reconciliation. Join us for a closer look!Show Highlights: Why KC’s initial reaction to Kate was aggravation The idea behind KC’s context: “How people treat you when they are angry is more revealing than how they treat you when they are happy.” The idea behind Kate’s context: “Anger isn’t necessarily the issue, but the lack of repair after the anger is the issue.” What our backgrounds and upbringings teach us about anger, hurt, abuse, relationships, and our worthiness Why it’s different trying to communicate to the masses, like online, rather than on a one-to-one basis in a relationship What Kate wishes she had done differently in her initial exchange with KC Why we should be able to expect creators, especially those with expertise, to be accountable for their words Why it’s tricky to make mental health content on social media Why therapy content can’t replace in-person therapy Thoughts on relationship boundaries, “gray areas,” and why “people are not disposable” The difference in “Setting boundaries” vs. “Being boundaried” Resources:Connect with Kate: Website, TikTok, PodcastConnect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m offering up an appetizer–because today’s show is a teaser for an upcoming two-part episode. Disagreements, conflicts, and drama are part of normal life, but there CAN be mutual respect and understanding at the same time. I’m talking with Kate Leggett, a student in her final semester of graduate school to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. Kate uses her TikTok channel to help restore relationships, and we became aware of each other because of a video exchange on TikTok. Our relationship certainly didn’t begin well, but we are making strides in communicating with respect and understanding around disagreements and conflicts. Come along as we model real-life conflict, relationships, and reconciliation. Join us for a closer look!Show Highlights: How Kate felt the need to fill in the gray area in relationships around boundaries and toxic relationships How online interactions can be transactional, personal, and very different with someone with whom you have a prior relationship A look at the TikTok videos that started the interaction between Kate and KC–and the thoughts behind the comments How people hold conflict in different and vulnerable ways How KC and Kate made space for deeper conversations around their conflict The difficulties around communication and conflict in the social media space An overview of Kate’s podcast, RR The Podcast, which you can find on YouTube and Spotify (Part 1 of Kate and KC’s conversation is up now!) Kate’s perspective on the much-used phrase, “You teach people how to treat you.” How to listen to the rest of our “respectful drama” Resources:Connect with Kate: Website, TikTok, PodcastConnect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss self-compassion. Is it a bad thing to have TOO MUCH self-compassion? Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley!Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion How to gently shift shame into self-compassion How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children Resources: Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and InstagramConnect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you have too much stuff? As you look around your home, is it crowded and cluttered? Does your space make you feel burdened, unhappy, and frustrated? If you said–or shouted–YES, you can’t miss today’s show. Join me to learn more about gentle organizing. Alison Lush is a Certified Professional Organizer, Certified Virtual Organizer, and Master Trainer. After a 20-year catering career, Alison knew she needed better organization and management skills for her home and personal comfort. She learned to live and shop intentionally, creating and protecting the space in her home. Now she puts her expertise to work in helping others by empowering them and teaching them to put themselves at the center of their organization efforts. Show Highlights: How Alison became an organizer with a gentle spirit Why our interactions with our home, space, time, and belongings form the foundations of our lives Why Alison’s focus is on “organic organizing” Alison’s answer to a question sent in by Samantha about dealing with clutter, letting things go, and the functionality of her space How to organize your space by using Zone 1, Zone 2, and Zone 3—and consider the frequency of access for each item Ways to keep, honor, and display memorabilia by identifying the risk level in letting items go How to consider the purpose of items in our lives in deciding to keep them or let them go Alison’s answer to a question from Kitty about decorating, a sense of style, and learning to feel good about her space How to reframe what might look crappy and rundown to you as a life well-lived, meaningful, and full of love Why your decor should fuel you and recharge your batteries Alison’s answer to a question from Aria about separating and managing work life and home life How to legitimize, categorize, and systemize your space for the best functionality Why the professional organizing industry has the reputation of telling people to “just get rid of your stuff” Resources:Connect with Alison: www.alisonlush.ca and TikTok   Connect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, we start with my take on a question that I get asked almost every day about how to keep from losing motivation to complete tasks, especially those simple ones like cleaning a room. If you’ve beaten yourself up over this struggle, then join me for a fresh perspective on cleaning your space! Show Highlights: Why losing motivation to clean a room comes down to not realizing that tidying, organizing, and cleaning are three different projects What is required to “tidy a room”: a five-step method How organizing differs from tidying and cleaning What the cleaning process entails Why there’s nothing wrong with being a neat or messy person, but a functional level of organization is essential How the tasks of tidying, organizing, and cleaning bring emotional barriers, especially for those with executive function disorders Why we need to remember that these care tasks are morally neutral–and the only reason to do them is so we can function better Resources:Connect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices