Struggle Care

"Dear Listeners,"We want to inform you that this episode marks the end of our current season. We would like to take a break during the month of August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. We will be back with fresh episodes in September, filled with engaging discussions and insightful interviews. We appreciate your support and look forward to reconnecting with you soon"-KC DavisCodependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation.I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community.Show Highlights:●      How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people●      Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews●      Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors●      Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged●      How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language●      How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time●      Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe●      How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool”Resources and Links:Connect with Shahem: TikTok and InstagramConnect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and FacebookGet KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m excited about today’s guest because she has had a huge influence on me. I can confidently say that finding her research on self-compassion was a turning point in my healing journey. Do you need more self-compassion? Join us to learn more!Dr. Kristin Neff is a renowned psychologist, self-care researcher, and author. Her work has had a profound impact on the field of psychology and has helped countless people cultivate self-acceptance and resilience. Show Highlights: How self-compassion became Dr. Kristin’s main area of research Understanding self-esteem vs. self-compassion The three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness How self-esteem creates comparison and social disconnection by being conditional and unstable How self-compassion gives the gift of authenticity The difference between fierce self-compassion and tender self-compassion How self-compassion helps us get past our shame Why self-compassion doesn’t mean indulgence Pathways and blocks to self-compassion The connection between self-compassion and psychological functioning How self-compassion helps when we fail and make mistakes Why the goal of practicing self-compassion is to be simply a compassionate mess who is completely human Why the practice of self-compassion has to start small with baby steps of warmth and support (What would you say to a friend?) A look at Dr. Kristin’s latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion How anger fits into self-compassion Resources and Links:Connect with Dr. Kristin and find many helpful resources: WebsiteConnect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and FacebookGet KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m so excited to have my first in-person guest on the podcast! Frankie Simmons is here, and she’s literally sitting right next to me. I love Frankie’s TikTok content, and I resonate with so much of what she says. I feel like she is a younger version of me, as we have similar backgrounds and healing journeys. I hope you will join us for this conversation!Show Highlights: Get to know Frankie and our thoughts on being fellow Texans How Frankie exited her background in Christianity and fear and began to explore the world Why Frankie does TikToks about her functional responses to trauma and finding self-trust The journey from fear and insecurity into feeling worthy and accepted How Frankie experienced a mind-blowing shift in her approach to life Why Frankie has chosen to be sober–and how that has changed her life and relationships Frankie’s journey to understand herself as a confident introvert How we can experience a different version of life when we accept ALL of ourselves What things are like in Frankie’s relationship with love and acceptance How it harms us to be taught that we should feel guilty if life is “easy” and not a constant struggle How Frankie and KC describe their current relationship with Christianity, faith, and spirituality Resources and Links:Connect with Frankie Simmons: TikTok and InstagramConnect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and FacebookGet KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our topic today is intriguing, so I can’t wait to learn more from my guest. I’m joined by River Nice (they/them), who was originally in a tech job they hated. After using their skill set to help their partner with debt from her gender transition, River found their calling: to help queer people with their money. Now, they run their own financial planning firm, Be Intentional Financial LLC (BIF), to serve their clients and community and help to dismantle oppression in all its forms. Join us to learn more!Show Highlights: Misconceptions people have about the term “anti-capitalist financial planner” A look at the harmful and inaccurate mainstream financial advice in our world Why we live in fear and worry about our financial survival in a capitalist society A look at white privilege and how we can make the world a better place under oppressive systems What “redistribution of wealth” looks like, practically speaking How River helps clients with investing for long-term financial security A charity giving model vs. creating an interdependent community How River teaches financial emergency preparedness to clients How anti-capitalist financial planning is a holistic view of life, money, values, and relationships River’s advice about specific financial scenarios around debt management, living paycheck to paycheck, planning for the future, and accumulating wealth Resources and Links: Connect with River Nice: Website, Instagram, and TikTokCheck out River’s Website for FREE resources and a FREE 30-minute consultation!Also mentioned: the Mint app and the Honeydue app for couplesGet KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coaching is an interesting field with many nuances, and we hear a LOT of buzz about coaching right now. There are coaches for literally EVERY aspect of life. While there are things to appreciate about the field of coaching, there are definitely things to look out for, as well. I’m joined by my good friend, Heidi Smith, who is a Licensed Professional Counselor.  In Part 2 of this conversation, I’m joined by Rachel Ambrose for a coach’s perspective. Rachel is a coach for neurodivergents who has been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. As someone who holds multiple coaching certifications, she is here to give us a better look at the coaching field. She talks about the bounds of coaching and her personal experience around green and red flags in the industry. Rachel shares tips to help people know how to find a helpful coach and be more knowledgeable about the coaching field. Show Highlights: How Heidi partners with clients and coaches in her counseling work Why there are legitimate questions about the training and oversight in the coaching field Why coaching is, by definition, a less intimidating relationship than with a therapist but is like “paying for a friend” How coaching and therapy embody very different relationships, lanes, and ethics What to consider in questions about licensure and certifications The ethical rabbit hole around the client’s relationship with therapists and coaches Why the coaching field is like the Wild West right now Pitfalls in the coaching industry around sexual integrity, case management, interventions, and narcissism KC’s experience in researching ADHD coaching  The vagueness around a “spirituality coach” The bottom line about coaching: “Do your research and be aware of potential drawbacks.” Part 2 from Rachel Amrose: Green and red flags around coaching around the following: Power dynamics in the relationship “I have the cure/the magical answer for your problem!” Concrete, actionable items How to know if a coach’s training is worthwhile or not How to gauge a coach’s willingness to refer out–and stay in their lane Resources and Links: Connect with Rachel Ambrose: WebsiteGet KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Racism. You may think you know what it is and in what ways it exists in our society, but it is a deep and multi-faceted topic. We could spend hours trolling the depths of language, attitudes, behaviors, and nuances that are influenced by race. We are attempting to explore and learn more in today’s show. I’m joined by Rebecca Slue, also known as the White Woman Whisperer. You may know her from TikTok, which is where I found her. We connected when I took an anti-racism course and reached out to her for help, and I’ve already learned a lot from her. Join us for more from Rebecca’s perspective.Show Highlights: An example of how KC got into a quandary over comments on social media and the fear of being labeled as a racist How amazing conversations are happening when we aren’t concerned about perfectionism in our words What we need to understand about white supremacy How Rebecca uses a caste system model of values to understand the behaviors that perpetuate white supremacy Why our understanding of anti-racism is a journey and not a destination Rebecca’s experience of racial identity as she grew up the child of Jewish and Jamaican parents How Rebecca’s experience played out when she entered corporate America How she became the White Woman Whisperer How racism created a holistic layer of chronic stress for Rebecca How Rebecca uses a metaphor to explain white fragility, white privilege, and the pinata of white supremacy Resources and Links: Connect with Rebecca: Website and Podcast, Instagram, TikTok Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Technology can be challenging for those with ADHD, and I’ll admit that I’ve struggled at times in this area. If you are someone who responds better to tactile and visual learning, you can probably relate. There are many tools and hacks available to help with executive functioning issues, and I’m excited to learn more in today’s show. I’m joined by technology expert Kat Hunt, who is raising a neurodivergent daughter. Let’s learn more about technological aids that can be helpful for ADHD. Join us!Show Highlights: Three specific areas in which neurodivergent struggle and technologies that can help: Time blindness Solutions: Apps like Calendly, Artful Agenda, and Taskly Data loss/overwhelm Solution: Migrating events/tasks into Google Calendar Dopamine-seeking or dopamine-resisting behaviors Solution: Forest app Why mobile access to these tools is preferable over a physical tool, especially for those who travel or move from home to office frequently How Kat uses Alexa technology to her advantage in time management with her family and at her office How the Due app forces you to pay attention to notifications for events and tasks How parents can use Alexa features with neurodivergent kids to increase independence and self-efficacy while still having parental structure in place Resources and Links: Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As you can probably figure out from the title, this is NOT the show to listen to around children! I’m joined by Catie Osborn, better known as @catieosaurus on TikTok–with an average of 30-50 million monthly views. She is an actor, podcaster, sex educator, adult performer, and mental health and disability advocate based in Atlanta. We are diving into the interesting intersection of ADHD and sexuality. If you are curious to hear more, join us!Show Highlights: How growing up in a very conservative and religious household gave Catie an interesting perspective on sex that was based on shame How Catie became interested in kink, received an ADHD diagnosis, and became a sex educator Why sex is a “fragile moment” Why sexual dysfunction and sexual disappointment are NOT the same things How ADHD makes it difficult to stay focused during sex because of overthinking How neurodivergent people struggle to articulate their needs–especially with intimacy Why sex shouldn’t be in terms of obligation, duty, and service but in terms of being authentically ourselves in surrender to the experience How our sex lives are influenced by layers of white supremacy, capitalism, trauma, and heteronormative values that need to be unpacked and investigated What kink is at its core–and why it has saved Catie Why conversations about sex and intimacy connect you to your partner, breed trust and vulnerability, and lead to better sex! Why Catieosaurus’ TikTok series, “Burnt Out Gifted and Talented Submissive Brat with a Praise Kink,” has been hugely popular How kink allowed Catie to be the one who calls the shots and feels safe and supported–for the first time Resources and Links:Connect with Catie: Website, Podcast, Instagram, and TikTokBook mentioned: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Self-care is a term we hear EVERYWHERE right now, and you’ve heard me talk about it over and over again. Today’s discussion is around the disillusionment of the self-care industry that I’m feeling, along with many others. I’m joined by Taylor Elyse Morrison, the author of Inner Workout: Strengthening Self-Care Practices for Healing Body, Soul, and Mind. Taylor is a founder, facilitator, coach, and serial entrepreneur, and she uses her coaching, mindfulness, and movement training to meet people where they are and offer actionable steps toward avoiding burnout. I’m putting Taylor on the spot by asking questions and picking her brain about common self-care struggles, and she is up for the challenge! Let’s see how this turns out!Show Highlights: How the consumeristic quality of today’s self-care movement ignores the marginalizations and barriers that many people experience that bring distress and hopelessness Why Taylor urges us to ask, “Is it the Self, or is it the System?” Why Taylor created a self-care assessment to give people “practical starting points” How Taylor’s self-care assessment is based on the five yogic dimensions Why self-care is often confused with pleasure as the hard work of self-care is overlooked Why part of self-care is holding onto yourself in the presence of other people Why wisdom is a part of self-care, along with the components of presence, self-trust, and aligned action How curiosity and self-compassion play into effective self-care Why Taylor is satisfied with the feedback she is getting from her book Resources and Links:Connect with Taylor: Website, (Buy her book, take the free self-care assessment, and join her newsletter group.) TikTok, and Instagram.Find Taylor’s book on Amazon: Inner Workout: Strengthening Self-Care Practices for Healing Body, Soul, and Mind. Find Inner Workout on TikTok and Instagram. Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can you afford the services of a professional organizer? Most people can’t, and that’s one of the big problems with the industry. Many professional organizers have come up with alternative ideas that allow them to reach more people with their services. Join us to learn more!I’m happy to welcome back to the show Alison Lush, a Certified Professional Organizer who specializes in chronic disorganization. Alison last joined me for Episode 5 about Gentle Organizing. Today’s discussion is about the problems with professional organizing and how the industry is evolving to be accessible to more people. The good news is that there are different levels of help available more than ever before for organizing and decluttering your spaces!Show Highlights: Why a main problem with the professional organizing industry is that the services are not accessible for most people How the pandemic massively impacted professional organizers in beneficial ways that are far more economical for clients How Alison’s focus has changed to educating and empowering the individual to get unstuck Why there is a spectrum of disorganization in which most people exist somewhere in the middle Highlights of new gap-filling services that some innovative professional organizers are offering (See Resources and Links) Why Accountability Groups and Body Doubling have become the cornerstone of Alison’s work with clients Why the biggest question for professional organizers to ask regarding the client is, “What do they need?” The difference between being unwilling and being overwhelmed in organizing and decluttering Alison’s advice about finding a professional organizer  Resources and Links:Connect with Alison: Website and TikTokJUDITH KOLBERGConquering Chronic Disorganization book – emotion-based decluttering and organizing strategieshttps://www.judithkolberg.com/HAZEL THORNTONGo With the Flow!: The clutter flow chart workbook https://www.org4life.com/SUSAN GARDNERThe Focus Project “If your possessions interfere with your quality of life, The Focus Project is a way to look at them through a different lens.” Frame, Value, Edit. Exercises that promote looking at your belongings from a different angle. Reflection, partnering, creativity are encouraged, along with curiosity about the root causes of clutter. – Self-directedLYNNE POULTONDeclutter GO! by Lynne Poulton - Once you start, you’re on a roll. Declutter GO! GAME NIGHTS – Group body doubling – weekly guided activities, prompts – group body doubling or autonomous - JONDA BEATTIE AND DIANE QUINTANARelease-Repurpose-Reorganize CARDShttps://releaserepurpose.com/?fbclid=IwAR3UkkdN6FdroVrQ260VV17XqvA2MnuMl5Hf9DHfzdMD_OaiYLz8tFbyYag - Self-directed – focused areas – systematicVICKIE DELLAQUILAOphelia the Organizer – Follow her adventures and hear her organizing advicehttps://www.opheliatheorganizer.com/JULIET LANDAU-POPEOrganizing Bootcamp (5x15 minute sessions over weekdays) https://jlpcoach.com/Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices