The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

***This episode originally aired on March 2nd, 2021***Or mad? Or scared? Or overwhelmed? Or shut-down?Why do I make a mountain out of a mole hill?  Why can’t I keep it together?  Being ignored (or yelled at or cussed at or disrespected or refusing to eat or do a chore or or or or the list is endless) is never going to feel good.  But- have you ever wondered why your brain goes into full on attacking watch dog mode when the reality is- refusing to do a chore, go to school, or even being ignored or yelled at, isn’t life threatening?If it isn’t life threatening, why does our brain go to attack mode?We talk about two reasons in today's episode:Decreased window of stress toleranceImplicit memory awakenings***************I talk about a LOT of resources in this episode!Blog articles:Finding PlayfulnessSelf-CompassionNo Behavior is Maladaptive Read the full summary or the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/whydoigetdysregulated/Teaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

***This episode originally aired on May 25th, 2021***I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon.Everything seems great.  Fun!  Even laughter and real good times.And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down.Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation.I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitely find that understanding the why can open up compassion and keep us more regulated.  Which then means we can respond instead of react.In today's episode we are looking at the science behind why this happens.It's science- not sabotage!  Promise!In this episode you hear me mention a F R E E three-part video series on Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors.  You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/videoseriesIf you are ready to take a deep-dive into parenting a child impacted by trauma through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety, you'll want to check out my self-paced, comprehensive, and all online digital course Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain.  You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/parentcourseRead a full summary or the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/goodtimesgobad/Teaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

***This episode originally aired on February 16th, 2021***Connection.  Empathizing.  Offering choices.  These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good.  So…what should you do instead???This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.1. Food, water, and movement2. Structure, routing, and predictability3. Stick closeThese may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!Read a full summary or the full transcript at: www.RobynGobbel.com/alwaysdysegulatedFor an introduction to tracking arousal instead of behavior, read this blog: www.RobynGobbel.com/watchdogbrain or listen to episode 4Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain online course:  www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourseYou can watch the free masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety right on my website!  www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclassTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

In this engaging conversation, Emily Daniels, a former school counselor and trauma-informed schools consultant, shares her insights on fostering emotional safety in classrooms. She dives into the importance of providing safety cues amid societal challenges like mass shootings. Emily highlights the necessity for educators to understand their own nervous systems before addressing student needs. She also discusses practical tools for creating nurturing learning environments that support both teachers and students in their emotional recovery.

An interview with Ilyse Kennedy, author of The Tender Parts about how parts work can help us build trust in how our inner system (and our children's systems) are unfolding and healing.In this episode, you’ll learn:About Internal Family Systems as a therapy modality and way of beingSome of the language used to describe parts workHow parts work can help parentsResources mentioned in this podcast:Ilyse's book The Tender PartsFind on AmazonUpcoming trainingPresence and PatienceRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/tenderpartsConnect with Ilyse here:Website: www.movingpartspsychotherapy.comInstagram: @MovingPartsPsychotherapyFacebook: @MovingPartsPsychotherapyTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

A transnational and transracial adoptee, therapist and author of Being Adopted, discusses the importance of providing authentic representation and accurate reflection of the adoption experienceIn this episode, you’ll learn:The importance of providing an authentic mirror for little adopteesHow we can allow parts of your child's spirit to breatheWhy "fixing it" isn't the most powerful interventionHow to reconcile when child hasn't had mirroring from their communityResources mentioned in this podcast:Amy's book Being AdoptedFind on AmazonRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/beingadoptedConnect with Amy here:Website: www.growhealblossom.comInstagram: www.growhealblossom.comTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Mindi Kessler, therapist and author of Cycle Breaker: A Guide To Transcending Childhood Trauma. talks about breaking general cycles of abuse and traumaIn this episode, you’ll learn:What is a trauma reenactmentHow our children trigger our own childhood woundsWays to begin healing ourselvesResources mentioned in this podcast:Mindi’s new book, Cycle BreakerFind on AmazonEmotional Freedom TechiqueBrad Yates on YoutubeRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cyclebreakerConnect with Mindi here:https://www.mindikessler.com/https://www.instagram.com/mindikessler/Teaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

In this episode, you’ll learn:How to talk with kids about tricky topics likeWhy they were relinquished for adoptionWhy they can’t see their familyWhy their family doesn’t want to see themWhy their family has gone on to have a new familyResources mentioned in this podcast:Marcella’s new podcast! Adoptees DishListen on SpotifyFollow on InstagramRobyn’s podcast series on memoryhttps://robyngobbel.com/traumamemorybehavior/https://robyngobbel.com/mentalmodels/Robyn’s eBook and video series on memoryhttps://robyngobbel.com/course/traumamemorybehaviors/Read a summary or the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/adoptiontruthConnect with Marcella here:https://marcellamoslow.comOn Instagram at @marcellamoslowTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Discover the vital distinction between influencing behavior and controlling it. The discussion highlights how parents can navigate their responsibilities without falling into the trap of blame. Learn about the impact of attachment on child behavior and how to foster self-compassion as a caregiver. Unravel the complexities of emotional management to create healthier relationships, supporting your child's development while addressing those baffling behaviors.

We talk about ‘being with’ our kids and each other and our clients.But what does it mean to be with?And why is it important?In this episode, you’ll learn:What it means to 'be with'Why it mattersWhat is require to be withThe role of 'tools' in being withRead a summary or the full transcript at:robyngobbel.com/beingwithkidsTeaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrainYou'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!*** Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)