Just Break Up: Relationship Advice from Your Queer Besties

Sam and Sierra answer a letter from someone who wants more sex in their otherwise awesome marriage. Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In a brief departure from our usual schedule, Sam interviews Sierra about her upcoming book, Ephemera, and Sierra reads a few poems. The interview covers topics like life cycles, queer love, and impermanence.Pre-order Ephemera now and receive 15% off by using promo code justbreakup.Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Doing bad things doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a PERSON. Now’s the time to use your mistakes as a roadmap for better decisions rather than evidence of your evilness; to move forward after cheating with a more realistic understanding of your wounds, not in mourning over the “perfect” relationship you “ruined.” (Because—get this—it wasn’t perfect if it couldn’t handle your messiness.)Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can’t love your partner out of their insecurities. You can tell them your truth, and eventually, they’ll just have to choose to believe you. If they can’t, it might be time for a classic JBU (WOW it’s been a while!). You deserve to be with someone who isn’t constantly asking you to prove your love.Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our feelings are 100% valid but also 100% our responsibility. Other people aren’t hurting us just because we’re hurt (even if they did break “girl code,” like a friend dating our ex). Instead of trying to control the narrative, how can you decenter yourself in your understanding of their relationship, accept the inevitability of nuance, and self-soothe on your time? Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s okay that people hold versions of you in their mind that you don’t agree with. It’s also inevitable. Reaching out to an ex to explain what “really” happened doesn’t usually help anyone, and might even hurt them. If you know your truth, does it matter that others don’t? Can you release the need for validation and let them process the relationship for themselves? Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feelings are valid, but feelings are liars. How can we separate our partner’s actual behavior from the stories it tells to us? What if being late didn’t mean disrespecting your time, or only grabbing their own towel wasn’t seen as an act of malice? (But also, c’mon…) Realizing it’s not that deep is a good start, but radically accepting our partner is better. Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being in relationship with a grieving partner is HARD—even harder than grieving yourself. But you can’t be the only bailing out water. Something has to change, whether you stop and let the boat sink or they start helping. How can you acknowledge their depression AND your isolation while you slowly work your back to the relationship you had?  Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can’t carve trust out of your partner’s deceit. If they’ve shown you a pattern, it’s best to believe it. And while it’s hard to let go of a relationship you fought so long for, it’s worse to stay in an unsafe, unsatisfying one. Even Sam might leave Peter over this many lies (and that’s saying a LOT).  Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’re not just “full of hormones,” you are FULL OF HORMONES! Your pregnant feelings are valid, but instead of blaming your partner for the bad ones, tell them you need more—more patience, support, sharing of the mental load (and more Indian food, dammit!). Once you properly mourn the relationship you had, you can open yourself to a stronger, deeper one. Join us on Patreon for an extra weekly episode, exclusive livestreams, and more!SUBMIT: justbreakuppod.comFACEBOOK: /justbreakuppodINSTAGRAM: @justbreakuppodTWITTER: @justbreakuppodJust Break Up is a production of Du Vide Media. Make sure to check out all of our amazing shows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices