Anna talks to writer Ada Calhoun, author most recently of the novel Crush, about a married woman succumbing to extramarital temptation (she wrote it while she herself was separating from her husband) and then to comedian Rosebud Baker about her new Netflix comedy special, The Mother Lode, which is all about late-stage pregnancy and early motherhood.This episode was recorded live at On Air Fest in New York City on February 20th. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Since the inauguration in January, we’ve been getting emails and voice recordings from people whose lives have been thrust into uncertainty due to changes made by the Trump administration. Many federal workers and people who rely on federal money have lost their jobs. Others feel vulnerable and uncertain. This week, we’ll hear from a range of people who’ve been affected, from an IRS attorney who’s been a target of Elon Musk’s DOGE efforts to an army sergeant who could very likely be forced out of her post because she’s trans. Podcast production by Cameron Drews.Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chelsea Devantez, a comedian and TV writer known for her memoir and podcast Glamorous Trash, shares her journey of writing about a past filled with domestic violence. Faced with legal barriers that silenced her, she pivoted to reveal how societal systems perpetuate victim silencing. The conversation also delves into the impact of complex PTSD, the challenges of ambition for women in comedy, and the journey of embracing femininity. Chelsea highlights the importance of storytelling and the complexity of navigating personal trauma in a male-dominated world.

The conversation delves into the evolving perceptions of masculinity amidst societal changes and the aftermath of the #MeToo movement. Personal stories reveal the emotional challenges men face in navigating their identities, from caregiving roles to societal expectations. The impact of digital communities on masculinity and personal reflections on aging provide deeper insights into the complexity of manhood today. Listeners are encouraged to share their own experiences, fostering a community dialogue on modern masculinity.

Kaveh Akbar, an acclaimed poet and writer whose novel 'Martyr!' is a National Book Award finalist, shares his journey from addiction to sobriety. He discusses how poetry became his new obsession and a healing outlet. Kaveh reflects on the transformative power of creative expression and how it reshaped his identity. He humorously recounts his youthful passions, like collecting basketball cards, and emphasizes the importance of embracing new, healthier obsessions in life.

Tasha Adams, the ex-wife of Stewart Rhodes, founder of the Oath Keepers, shares her harrowing journey of survival from an abusive marriage shadowed by extreme politics. She discusses her fear upon learning about Stewart's commutation by Trump, emphasizing the emotional turmoil tied to January 6. Tasha reflects on her isolation during their relationship and her courageous escape with their six kids. Battling amidst the chaos, she finds clarity in her own strength and the hope for a better future as she copes with the complexities of her past.

Gary Gulman, a comedian known for his clever takes on life, shares his journey from a bullied boy to a confident performer. He opens up about growing up sensitive in a tough environment filled with unkindness, including from his older brothers. Gary discusses the fine line between humor and vulnerability, how childhood experiences shape adult identity, and the importance of authenticity in comedy. He also reflects on love, mental health struggles, and redefining success beyond wealth, illustrating the profound connections forged through shared challenges.

Halina Reijn, a Dutch filmmaker and actress known for her work in 'Babygirl' and 'Bodies, Bodies, Bodies', shares her insights on navigating female desires and authenticity in film. She discusses the primal versus civilized aspects of women's identities and the importance of open conversations about sexual agency. Halina also reflects on the pressures of conformity in the entertainment industry, the complexities of intimacy in modern relationships, and her creative journey within the U.S. film scene.

In this discussion, Koa Beck, a writer and foster parent, reveals the intricate dynamics of foster care and its striking parallels to nannying. She shares Delores's journey as a Jamaican nanny in NYC, navigating cultural nuances and parental expectations. The conversation dives into the complexities of class and power in caregiving, touching on the emotional bonds formed between caregivers and the families they serve. Additionally, Koa highlights the significance of community support for those involved in care work, particularly in the face of challenges like multiple sclerosis.

Tita Rose, a dedicated Filipina immigrant eldercare worker, sheds light on the often-overlooked world of paid caregivers. She reveals her journey through the complexities of elder care and the exploitation she uncovered in a nursing home. Exploring the emotional bonds between caregivers and clients, the discussion also tackles cultural misunderstandings and advocates for workers' rights. Tita highlights the challenges of low pay and harsh working conditions, emphasizing the power of community and solidarity in the caregiving profession.