Find Your Food Voice

*We recorded this episode before COVID-19 changed our perspectives on so many things. We believe the info is still relevant and hope it brings you peace in this time of uncertainty.* Most people with a complicated relationship with food are at diet rock bottom yet what if you have never dieted? Sometimes a person may not have dieted yet has experiences with food insecurity that will have a similar effect. This is a valid place on the Food Peace Journey™. Let's discuss Intuitive Eating tools to aid your recovery with guest expert Veronica Garnett @DiasporadicalKitchen on Instagram. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. Open until March 31, 2020. Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor This episode's Dear Food letter: Deer food, I’ve struggled with you pretty much all of my life. I never dieted but I have always been a rebel. I hid food, snook it, or just ate too much in general. At least it’s what other people would call too much. I’m also visually impaired. Dieting just seems ridiculous to me especially since I couldn’t read calories or other food label information. Of course I could’ve had someone read it to me but I could never see myself giving up sweets.  or even cutting back. I don’t like fast food. One of the stereotypes of fat people or people in larger bodies is that they eat too much fast food. This wasn’t true for me. My mom loved cooking when she had time but she rarely did. She worked a lot. When she would cook most of the food would go to waste because my brother, sister, and stepdad always wanted fast food. If my mom is at work and there wasn’t any money to be used on fast food my stepdad would cook something but no sides. It never felt enough. Now I can eat chicken with out the side and it’s no big deal but that then I always wanted my mom’s good side dishes. We were also pretty poor. Food insecurity was hard. They were also times were my stepdad sister and sometimes my brother would leave and not tell me. Most the time it would be to go to pick my mom up from work but sometimes it would be to go to other places. If my mom wasn’t with them and they would stop and get food during those times they were either forget about me or get me something that I didn’t wind up liking. I’m kind of a picky eater. My mom would remember to always make sure it was something I liked if they would stop and get fast food. I also went to the Maryland school for the blind during weekdays starting through my fifth grade year. It was pretty good there because there was always good food around or at least I would have peanut butter and bread to make a sandwich. I was disappointed that there were less snacks but at least there were some and I wouldn’t feel like I would have to eat them quick to keep them from being on within the next day or two because of my brothers friends Who would come over. Speaking of my brother, he also bullied me about my weight. That’s when most of the rebellion really amped up. There is a lot more in my childhood and young adult life that led to a bad relationship with food such as the times when I helped my friend out with food when she lost her food stamp card and we live together but they didn’t help me when they found it. I was stuck eating just mashed potatoes and crackers during those times. I digress though for the sake of time. Just a few months ago I found out about Intuit is eating and health at every size. I came to it because of a book that was recommended to me to deal with the triggering conversations that were happening about my weight. One of those triggering conversations was with my uncle Tom who is one of the nicest and most beautiful people but he still caught up in diet culture because doesn’t want me to diet but he does want me to cut my portions back and he expects that I lose weight. I know the main reason is because he’s afraid of losing me because I’m the only one he trusts. My question to food is how can I begin to incorporate these things when I’ve never really dieted. How do I keep myself from trying to prove to him and others that I am becoming healthier? How do I fit in to these new paradigms? Also, how can I introduce people to these new paradigms when I’m not very articulate with when it comes to remembering definitions and statistics that will prove that these new ways of doing things are valid? Yours truly: Partially blind fat friend Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to subscribe to the Love Food’s Food Peace Syllabus. Be sure to follow Veronica Garnett on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter and soon YouTube @DiasporadicalKitchen @ReclaimingOurPlate on IG and @ReclaimOurPlate on Twitter--HAES aligned black RD collective The Body Keeps the Score Hunger So Wide and So Deep Intuitive Eating book (aff) and website Find an Eating Disorder Dietitian near you. Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I still remember the first time I called a therapist to ask for help. These moments are painful yet so brave. Are you wanting to make peace with food yet stuck on your own? Or, are you meeting with a therapist yet needing more intensive treatment? How do you know what is the best next step? Listen to the latest Love Food Podcast for ideas to help you decide. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Take the Love Food Survey: click here. Do you own a social justice informed and fat positive business? I would love to give you the opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Get all the details here. Dear Food, My wish every single morning is to just have one day...one day where I do not eat you, enjoy you, and then panic and get rid of you. It has been 6 years and I have not gone one day without engaging in X behaviors. I am tired. I am sick. I am 36 years old and have no friends, no children of my own, and also have almost no hope that I will be able to stop this terrible cycle. I have osteoporosis, low potassium, anemia, dental problems, low vitamin d, a damaged retina, and many other medical complications from what I do with you everyday. It’s so weird. I love you- flavor, texture, the artistry of flavor combinations, the creativity...but I am terrified of you too. Terrified of what effect you will have on my body...terrified that I will love you so much, that I won’t be able to stop...terrified because I am using you as a distraction to stop thinking about extensive childhood trauma. I am 36 and our relationship is no longer so helpful. I use you for the wrong reasons...I wish I could use you for nourishment and not as a means of unhealthy coping. I am faced with the need to attend treatment but I am so scared. We have to meet 6 times a day. We have to sit together and just “be.” I have to use you to help heal me even though currently I hate me. You will be my medicine and hopefully we can become true friends.  I am faced with the decision, Food. Do I go? Do I hope that together we can work through this? Can we do it? Do I even matter enough to try?  I do know that I can’t keep doing this Food. I just can’t. I need to hear from you that you will be there for me in the right ways. That I can learn to exist with you in a healthy way. I am so ashamed, lonely, and really just desperate to have a new relationship with you. I just need a little hope, a little reassurance that things will get better. I can’t see a way out out of this now, but hopefully with your promise that this is possible, I can be more things than I am now. I can be strong. I can be recovered. I can be a mother. I can be a friend. I live instead of just  existing. I can be proud.  Sincerely, Wanting Something More Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to get latest Food Peace Syllabus. Intuitive Eating (aff) by Tribole and Resch 6 Keys To Food Peace Julie on Instagram: Instagram.com/FoodPeaceDietitian Find Eating Disorder Dietitians near you. Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you heard that we need to eat more veggies, herbs, and stock up on Essential Oils while surviving this pandemic? Don't believe the Wellness Diet hype. The number one thing you can do right now--social distance, wash your hands, and NOT diet. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. Mary wrote in: What is triggering me right now and threatening to cause me to grab hold of the "wellness" diet again (which led to orthorexia for me) are the emails, newsletter, posts, about how important it is to eat healthfully right now. For instance, up the "super greens" like kale and chard and lettuces and fruits and veggies. This is a catch 22. On the one had we are being told to eat fresh fruits and veggies and greens and on the other hand we are told to avoid people, to self-isolate. I can't keep my greens longer than a few days nor do I have a garden or live in an area that has fruits and vegetables available at outside markets all year long, so the only way to get the is to do what they say not to do: go to grocery stores. I know I can just unsubscribe and not read, but there is a tiny part of me that is saying, "but what if they are right" and the HAES and intuitive eating people are wrong? Again, another part of my disordered eating thinking. Thank you! Mary Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to subscribe to the Love Food’s Food Peace Syllabus. Julie on Instagram: @FoodPeaceDietitian Intuitive Eating book (aff) and website Find an Eating Disorder Dietitian near you. Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you been feeling more anxious, fearful, powerless? Me too. You don't have to ignore these feelings because they can inform you and me. You are already braver then you think. I hope this episode helps you feel more powerful for the weeks ahead. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to subscribe to the Love Food’s Food Peace Syllabus. Julie on Instagram: @FoodPeaceDietitian Intuitive Eating book (aff) and website Find an Eating Disorder Dietitian near you. Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you feel possessed at times with the chaos that a binge brings? Have you tried everything to change your eating behavior yet feel addicted?? This episode's letter writer is from a concerned family member worried about their parent's on and off relationship with food. I have a feel you can relate. Listen here now to hear all the details and a way through. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Take the Love Food Survey: click here. Dear Food, I know you and I still have work to do, but I'm writing today to talk to you about your relationship with my dad (hope you don't mind!). He knows so much about you, and he's tried so many diets and plans, but he just can't stick with eating in a healthy way. He's had a number of health problems related to his weight and diet, and has to take about a dozen prescription pills a day to address his GI issues. He says he wants to change, and wants to take better care of himself - but for years now, he and our family have watched helplessly as the motivation wanes after a week or two, disappears for months, and then shows back up full-force. It's been exhausting for everyone to see this cycle over and over again. He even has the self-awareness to see what works for him, what doesn't, why he might be giving up, what psycho-emotional factors are at play - but all that self-reflection doesn't turn into action (and he knows that, too!) He's even joked that he feels "possessed" when he binges on sugar and snacks, or that his brain and his tongue aren't communicating, and that "it's time to go back on that plan again."He and the rest of us thought that after he had to be hospitalized for the GI issue, it would be enough motivation - but he went back to old habits quickly. We've tried cooking together, affirmations, journaling, listing all the great things that will come with healthy eating. He's seen nutritionists and psychologists, he's tried meditating and going to the gym. But even with the support, motivation, experts, and health care professionals, he hasn't been able to make the changes and progress he wants. Now, his first grandchild is on the way. We love him, we don't want to be intrusive - he's asked for us to help. But we feel powerless, and defeated that we can't help. Food - is it time for him (and us?) to work with a professional? How do we know where to start, and what kind of specialist to look for? He hasn't been diagnosed with an eating disorder - will he need a doctor referral? Will this be another expense and ray of hope that goes nowhere? He wants to heal, and we want to see him love himself as much as we love him. Love, Concerned Daughter Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to get latest Food Peace Syllabus. Intuitive Eating (aff) by Tribole and Resch 6 Keys To Food Peace Beth Rosen--Julie's recommended GI HAES RD. Julie on Instagram: Instagram.com/FoodPeaceDietitian Find Eating Disorder Dietitians near you. Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you been feeling more anxious, fearful, powerless? Me too. I am curious about how this is affecting our relationship with food. I hope this gives you pause and comfort on the road ahead. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to subscribe to the Love Food’s Food Peace Syllabus. Intuitive Eating book (aff) and website Find an Eating Disorder Dietitian near you. Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What is it like to eat with others on your Food Peace™ journey? How do you experience the talk about bodies or exercise or where to go to lunch? Do you find yourself comparing yourself to other people and feeling like a failure in comparison? Is this keeping you stuck? Let's discuss in this week's Love Food Podcast with guest Renee Hamati @SensiblyYou on Instagram. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. This episode's Dear Food letter: Dear Food, I have struggled to write this letter for a while now as I couldn’t really think of a good way to organize what went all wrong over the past couple of years. You and I are definitely on better terms by now and I am glad about that. Yet more often than I want to, my past keeps creeping up the back of my head again.  Let me take you back a little, to a time when food had been effortless and easy, enjoyable and pleasurable. I remember that I have always loved you and didn’t really think of any part of you as good or bad. I loved chocolate as much as I loved my broccoli. I had no hard time stopping whenever I was full nor did I give myself a hard time when I overate on occasion. I just shrugged it off and moved on.  I have always been slim since I was a kid and to be honest, I never worried about how my body looked. I loved it for being able to move, to dance, to breathe.  For a little further explanation of the following let me tell you that I have 2 sisters. A twin and an older sister.  We spent much time together as 3 even though my older sister has always been busy with being a good student. Nonetheless we had a good relationship … until over time she grew distant and cold, irritated for seemingly no reason. We noticed her eating behavior changing. Long story short, everything ended with her being so deep into Anorexia that she had to be force-fed in the recovery clinic. Even after her stay in the clinic, she struggled for years and her eating behavior did not change as much with the difference of her maintaining a weight that wouldn’t get her medical treatment again.  I thought this time had been shocking enough to our family and really tore a hole that lingered like a dark cloud and you should know better but then I noticed my twin starting with a similar eating behavior. She developed a fully grown bulimic disorder. Needless to say that this shook our family to the very core. The atmosphere was filled with distrust, control, unspoken fear and questions over questions. I started to ask myself how something so pleasurable and beautiful could have so much power over a human being, especially in the obvious face of the damage an eating disorder could cause.  It has been years from now since my twin developed her eating disorder and even though things are not as extreme anymore in terms of purging, I often find her resorting to these old patterns whenever things are getting emotionally difficult and straining. She does not starve herself anymore but her control mechanisms shifted into quite an unhealthy relationship to workouts, tracking and rigid rules.  This was by the time we started to go to University in the same city. I never really noticed that I had gained quite some weight until I saw her figure changing to a very lean and muscular build and me being rather curvy in comparison. Not that I cared by the time, I was still happy with myself but wanted to spend more time with her as she was elbows deep into working out and eating clean. So one of the only ways to reconnect with her was working out together. It worked! We spent much more time together and I also noticed myself changing in the process. It was nice to see my body getting leaner and I wanted to “support” the process by changing my – admittedly not very healthy – eating habits that came with university.  I slowly became obsessed with calories, how many I could eat, how much I needed to work out, which foods were good and which foods weren’t. I felt so ashamed of myself when I discovered how seemingly “unhealthy” I had been eating when all I really did was enjoying good food whenever I wanted.  I started to demonize certain foods, restricted and cut out sugars, junk-food and even eventually certain food groups like carbs. Hell, I was so afraid to have rice with any of my other foods because in my eyes it was way too calorific.  I lost much weight until I was at my desired size but what price did I pay?  I missed out on so much fun as I didn’t allow myself to indulge in delicious foods on social events, I annoyed everyone around me with my clean eating, it severely affected my relationship and friendships, took so much of my time and energy until I felt run-down and so so exhausted.  I started to discover intuitive eating and was fascinated with it from the very beginning although it was hard for me to let go of my old diet behavior. I now have a better relationship with you and occasionally feel like this could really work but then I see my sister (we live together) munching on her salad or not eating until 3 in the afternoon. I see her freaking out over not being able to go to the gym or doing heavy HIIT for hours because she allowed herself to enjoy a night out the night before. And suddenly the cookie in my hand feels like it would add up 100 pounds to my hips, just like I thought back then. She has a very muscular build by now and gets a ton of compliments for it and sometimes if I am honest I feel jealous of it and wonder if it is wrong to have a softer body.  I really try to not let food dictate my life anymore but I cannot help myself when a disordered eating behavior is so very close to you, emotionally and physically. How can I manage to get rid of the little voice telling me that I am not beautiful if I am not muscular like her? How can I better set boundaries for myself in terms of her eating behavior and mine? How do I deal with the struggle of my body gaining weight and me still finding myself desiring to lose it again as I have always been slim and somehow cannot deal with the thought of gaining more. I really wanna move away from food thoughts dictating my day and my still present diet mentality. I want to focus on loving myself and doing what I love. Still, it is so hard sometimes …  Please help me reconnect with you in a healthy way. Love,  Confused and frustrated Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to subscribe to the Love Food’s Food Peace Syllabus. Be sure to follow Renee Hamati on Instagram @SensiblyYou Joyn Movement Classes for Everybody Follow these Instagram Hashtags--#bodyneutrality #fatacceptance #haes #haesig #infinifirst #intuitiveeating #intuitiveeatingofficial HAESCommunity.org HAES Principles HAES Fact Sheet HAES Expert Guidelines Intuitive Eating book (aff) and website Find an Eating Disorder Dietitian near you. Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do you push yourself to exercise more with PCOS? Well, I don't think you should--I think your body is trying to tell you something. Listen up to hear what I have to say about movement and PCOS. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Use the coupon code 'lovefood' at check out for 30% off. Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to get latest Food Peace Syllabus. Intuitive Eating (aff) by Tribole and Resch 6 Keys To Food Peace Julie on Instagram: Instagram.com/FoodPeaceDietitian Find Eating Disorder Dietitians near you. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Does anti-diet mean anti-health? Does intuitive eating mean letting go of health? Moving away from diets is not neglecting the evidence, it is using it. It's time to dive into how rejecting diets reunites us with health and dignified care. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Use the coupon code 'lovefood' at checkout for 30% off during the month of February 2020. Dear Food, My ideas surrounding you have always been related to health. Growing up in a larger body, with a mother who was a physician, had me constantly aware and ashamed of myself. For me, you were always supposed to be something I was conscious of. My own doctor would show me where I was on the growth curve, and constantly telling me that my BMI was unhealthy. These experiences were ingrained in me from a very early age. I was told "you burn more calories sitting up rather than laying down" when watching TV and only provided with "healthy" snacks, snacks that I never wanted. I was told to ignore my cravings and, instead, eat a handful of almonds. My mom and I were always dieting together, for the sake of "health". This quest for health led me to nursing school, hoping to be able to heal my sickness and the sickness of others. This is when I was subconsciously introduced to medicalized fatphobia. The nutrition class I had to take encouraged us to count calories in and count calories out. This only encouraged my obsessive weight loss behavior, getting to a point where I was regularly consuming less than X calories a day and obsessively exercising X days a week. Now that I am in school to become a midwife and also pursuing food peace through intuitive eating, I am much more aware and disturbed by the medicalized fatphobia that I am supposed to take part in. Learning the formula for "ideal body weight" (a real thing that was taught to me in one of my classes), I am "supposed" to be X lbs, a weight I have NEVER reached even with my days of severe restriction. I am learning how to make sure the pregnant people I take care of aren't gaining "too much weight" during their pregnancy and also how a lot of contraceptives are not designed for people in larger bodies. I desperately want to be a practitioner that lives outside the medicalized fatphobia, but I am worried that if I do, I will be shunned by my coworkers and superiors as a bad provider. I'm not sure how to reconcile my understanding of chronic health conditions that are supposedly related to larger bodies and also my desire to follow Health At Every Size principles. Love, Everyday Fighter of the System   Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to subscribe to the Love Food’s Food Peace Syllabus. Anti-Diet book (aff) Intuitive Eating book (aff) and website Weight stigma Weight cycling Social determinants of health Rally--Food Peace™ principle Find an Eating Disorder Dietitians near you. Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

PCOS Carb Cravings: It's not a weakness it's a super power. I hope you don't continue to shun them, run from them, or avoid them. Leaning into them gives you insight you can't get anywhere else. Here's what I have to say about PCOS carb cravings. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Use the coupon code 'lovefood' at check out for 30% off. Show Notes: Julie Dillon RD blog Link to get latest Food Peace Syllabus. Intuitive Eating (aff) by Tribole and Resch 6 Keys To Food Peace Julie on Instagram: Instagram.com/FoodPeaceDietitian Find Eating Disorder Dietitians near you. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy