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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I work really hard to pay attention to what I need, name it, and get it for my body. It took a long time to get here, with a restrictive eating disorder, PCOS and diabetes diagnosis and treatments (including Food Peace!), and an infinifat body (US32+). I'm proud of what I've learned to do for myself.
But you're always whispering about the sort of lessons I got when I was diagnosed with diabetes, and then when I was pregnant. You whisper threats of death from medical staff and family alike. You whisper about carb counting. You whisper threats of losing my kidneys because I probably need insulin instead of expensive non-insulin drugs that affect my appetite (and apparently not my blood sugar).
You whisper that there's no way to get enough calories for your body if you restrict carbs. You whisper that there's no way to eat that would make each of my physical health issues better. You whisper so much about carb counting as the only way to live with you. It gets echoed everywhere.
 I keep thinking if the power struggle could stop - for real - it would be such a relief. We could be together without one of us pulling on the other. We could have fun, we could forget what others might say about us.

Right now, even with all the knowledge I have, it still feels like I have to choose between ways to be sick.
Love,
Torn

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