Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry

0:55 Lynn mentions an eating disorder called avoidant restrictive food intake disorder that came out in the latest edition of the DSM five, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Fifth Edition of Psychiatric Diagnosis.6:22 Robin shares a parenting hack to introduce new fruits or vegetables to young children.8:47 Robin suggests a game called eat your face, where you take a variety of cut up fruits and vegetables to start design facial expressions.14:06 Robin asks Lynn if picky eaters are grasping for control because they do not feel that have autonomy.26:52 Lynn describes what isn’t a picky eater.28:18 Robin references Lynn’s books, Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents.Use the Circle to manage your kids screen time. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a circle. I love it.30:59 Listener Question about the pandemic affecting a child's memory.Join the Facebook group so you can ask your question to Lynn in a future episode.Closing Music Courtesy of Susie Tallman, "Apples & Bananas" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1:09 Lynn describes the connection of perfectionism and anxiety in adults and kids she treats and suggests parents start looking at themselves and the messages around perfectionism they are sending.Robin references the book The Conscious Bride.11:23 Lynn mentions the episode when she refers to the marital snort.13:52 Lynn discusses the connection between perfectionism and procrastination and signs of perfectionism in children.23:30The Circle is what we use to manage our kids’ screen time. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off a circle device for your home.23:37 Robin reads a listener question for Lynn to answer about two girls who have anxiety of getting shots.31:03 Robin references the co-parenting episode in relation to loading the dishwasher.32:03 We talk about family silliness and the idea of embracing the messy33:14 We encourage you to join our Facebook group so that you can submit a question for a future episode with Lynn. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lynn references the three prior episodes on the arc of diagnosis in anxiety and depression and what to notice in your child and what to do if you have a diagnosis and helping your child get the best treatment.3:02 Robin mentioned in one of our first episodes the powerful that when children see us being playful, it’s telling them that they are safe— that the world is okay.3:45 Lynn references an amazing podcast on bias with Jordan Harbinger and mentions Paul Eckman’s work on micro-expressions.14:41 Robin talks about blogger Tania Lamb and her Halloween costumes, and I think she has a Facebook Live show, and her website is called Lola Lambchops.20:58 Lynn shows the family culture of comedy giving James Corden and his parents as examples of two people who love to laugh.22:30 We talk about teasing being toxic and not to exploit a child’s suffering, referencing Jimmy Kimmel’s annual Halloween candy prank as something not to do. But we are all for pranking adults like young woman who got her wisdom teeth out and her brothers picked her up and convinced her there was a zombie apocalypse.LISTENER QUESTION23:03This listener question is from a mom of three teens who are home with remote learning. She wants to know how to keep her kids engaged with work, and wonders how much nagging it acceptable to keep everyone on track while also working from home.MANAGE YOUR INTERNET WITH A CIRCLE34:13It lets you set daily limits for different apps and social media. It also controls your kids’ Wi Fi schedules, and you can adjust age appropriate filters for searches from little kids to teens. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off of a Circle. I love it.34:30Lynn brings up the discussion of fears from the week prior and explains why she is afraid of rats and the role the movies in our heads play in conjuring fear. Robin is afraid of sharks.36:53 Join the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask your question on a future episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask your question on a future episode.Suggested ReadingDon't Say That Depression Is Caused by a Chemical ImbalanceStressors and chemical imbalances: Beliefs about the causes of depression in an acute psychiatric treatment sample.Suggested ViewingLynn Lyons' Teen Anxiety and Depression WebinarMichael Yapko's Keys to Unlock Depression: Why Skills Work Better Than Pills  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1:00 Lynn provides an overview of getting a child a mental health diagnosis and asks th4e questions all parents should consider. How do you get one? Do you need one?8:26 Lynn explains the right way to think about a diagnosis and its role in treating a child or teen. She explains a child’s diagnosis is often a family diagnosis and references the book Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents that give families a roadmap after an anxiety diagnosis.She talks about how a depression, anxiety or ADHD diagnosis affects all members of the family and how to stop accommodating the diagnosis.12:47 We talk about siblings of the diagnosed child and how they experience the disorder.17:28 Robin talks about why she love her Circle to manage screen time with her kids. Our affiliate link will get you $20 off of a Circle.18:10 Robin reads a listener question by a parent who is married to someone with anxiety and depression that has increased from the stress of two children, one with special needs and work.Lynn shares references for couples therapy: Michelle Wiener-Davis, and Terry Real.ADDITIONAL BOOKS AND PODCASTS FOR PARENTS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS KIDSShut Up About Your Perfect Kid: A Survival Guide for Ordinary Parents of Special ChildrenShut Up About Your Perfect Kid PodcastThe Mama Bear podcastJoin the Flusterclux Facebook group so that you can ask Lynn a question in a future episode. The podcast launched with the temporary name A Mom's Retreat in April 2020 for its pilot season.Find us at flusterclux.comhttps://www.facebook.com/flustercluxhttps://www.instagram.com/flusterclux/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parenting isn't easy in the best of circumstances, and 2020 will challenge every parent to support the emotional health of their kids and themselves.  Flusterclux represents that feeling of overwhelm and tells parents how to better manage their worry and big feelings like anger and sadness so that they are modeling healthy emotional awareness.Lynn Lyons, therapist, author, and speaker is one of the world's experts on helping parents, kids, and teens manage anxiety. She talks with co-host and sister-in-law Robin Hutson in a weekly podcast free of psychobabble and full of concrete advice. In each episode, Lynn answers listener questions and gives parents concrete strategies for developing the traits that are their kids' best defenses against anxiety and depression later in life: flexibility, resilience, autonomy, and problem solving.Find us atflusterclux.comhttps://www.facebook.com/flustercluxhttps://www.instagram.com/flusterclux/   The podcast launched with the temporary name A Mom's Retreat in April 2020 for its pilot season.Find us at flusterclux.comhttps://www.facebook.com/flustercluxhttps://www.instagram.com/flusterclux/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes0:34 Lynn and Robin discuss the new season of Flusterclux and describe who the podcast is for. Lynn describes emotional management as a goal for her therapy clients and her own family and why it is such a critical skill to strengthen relationships and prevent loneliness.6:10 Robin and Lynn discuss the reason behind the name change from A Mom’s Retreat to Flusterclux.8:46 Robin asks Lynn how families can tell if anxiety and anxious patterns are creeping into a household as a result of the stress of 2020. Lynn talks about rigidity and routine and explains the critical importance of flexibility within a routine for children and teens.19:06 Robin asks Lynn how parents should be talking to their children about fall schedules to make room for its possibilities of changing.21:53 Robin asks Lynn if there are better ways to talk to teens about school this fall than others to promote flexibility and adaptability.Lynn asks listeners a critical question she suggests all families ask themselves about the pandemic.24:19 Lynn answers a listener question about a child who gets anxious being on camera and needs a reassurance that remote learning cannot provide.Lynn talks about the skill to develop around accepting criticism and social anxiety’s fear of judgement.30:12 Lynn shares stories of her husband’s past whistling and then shows off her own whistling talents.32:10 Join our Facebook group so that you can submit a question for a future episode with Lynn.We thank our sponsor Milestones Pediatric Therapy Center.Find us atflusterclux.comhttps://www.facebook.com/flustercluxhttps://www.instagram.com/flusterclux/Show music by Peter Sandberg. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes:037 Robin reads the first of three listener questions in the episode. the first question. A mom asks how to help her six-year-old son who says other kids hate him.Lynn provides guidance on improving social skills as a life-long challenge, learning to take criticism, and learning to play with more flexibility.12:06 The second listener question involves a family who experienced a traumatic accident while hiking together when a boulder crushed their daughter. They are trying to help her overcome her PTSD and flashbacks from the accident.Lynn discussing how to create mental distance from the event, avoid globalizing the event, and how to support the family’s different preferences of healing.26:40 Robin reads the 3rd listener question about encouraging flexibility in a 4 year old.27:07 Lynn teaches parents how to encourage flexibility in their children using the wall of flexibility and uncooked spaghetti.31:44 Robin and Lynn discuss the Annie’s Mac and Cheese stage of parenting33:42 Robin mentioned Lynn’s book Anxious Kids Anxious Parents that she wrote with Reid Wilson.Season 2 begins with new name next week!33:06 Lynn mentions this is our last episode before we launch Season Two next Monday, 8/31/20 with a brand-new name. If you are a subscriber, it will be a seamless transition. Make sure that you subscribe on whatever platform you listen to the podcast on.And also at 8:30PM on Sunday night, August 30, join us on the Mom’s Retreat Facebook page for a live Facebook get together where we will give have giveaways and share announcements about new content coming for Season 2.So please join us this Sunday, August 30th at 8:30PM EST. See you then!Find us at www.amomsretreat.comhttps://www.facebook.com/amomsretreathttps://www.instagram.com/amomsretreat/https://twitter.com/Amomsretreat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

0:49 Robin reads the first question from listeners.Hi, I’m a school counselor in an elementary school. The return to school has many parents, myself included, anxious. With that said, how do you suggest I coach parents on supporting students prior to the return date? We know kids are picking up their cues from the adults. They’re surrounded by and many times those adults are unintentionally feeding student fears. How can I assist a family member and myself who’s super stressed and anxious, but is unwilling or unable to change patterns?7:44 Lynn talks about the importance of positive expectancy in our language with our children.9:44 Lynn gives in home and at school ways to create ritual for a new school year.12:10 Lynn talks about why academics are NOT the priority this fall, and has a special message for parents concerned about their children falling behind academically.15:49 Robin reads the second listener question about teacher anxietyI facilitate the majority of our building-based professional development as I try to think about what the fall will look like, and I really can’t. We have a few teachers we’re really concerned about in regards to their emotional health and readiness for in-person instruction. My principal and I have discussed this at length, how do we address this with them gracefully without putting them over the edge and make them feel supported? We think they could really use some professional help. What can we do?19:17 Robin referenced one of Lynn’s Facebook Live videos talking about feeling back to school anxiety for the first time: “the worry rookies”.21:13 Robin talked about this Facebook post that was a letter from nurses to teachers.22:03 Lynn talks about not misplacing anger or blame on the school situation but to model empathy.Get inspired by our summer guide in order to make some memories or celebrate the start of school. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

0:31 HOW TO HELP SIBLINGS STOP FIGHTING“How to best deal with sibling fights being stuck at home for such an extended time. All the extra emotions everyone is feeling siblings are fighting way more than usual. What can I do?”0:54 Lynn differentiates between the two kinds of sibling fights. One is that it’s mostly verbal and yelling and calling each other names or arguing over who gets to sit where on the couch, etc. And the other is when they get physical, and so somebody is in danger of getting hurt.7:42 AVOID “BOYS WILL BE BOYS” THINKINGLynn explains the negative impact tolerating violence causes and how to set limits to curb it.13:49  The Montessori school cure all of a little Dixie cup of water14:30 A WORKING MOM WITH AN EMPTY TANK“As a working mom with two children under five, I’ve noticed a significant change in my own frustration, tolerance, and increased exhaustion and anger during the quarantine. Aside from taking a walk with the stroller, time alone or spending any time on myself is just nonexistent. And neither child sleeps through the night consistently. What strategies can I employ at home to be less emotionally reactive?”15:09 Start with sleep. We did a whole episode on sleep,19:11  The playifcation on relaxation with tingly head massagers that are in the shape of a tulip.22:09 Join our Facebook group where you can submit your own questions to Lynn for a future episode. We’re relaunching this podcast August 31st for a second season under a new name. Follow our social media. That’s where you’ll learn about the new name first. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices