Sexology

Welcome to episode 98 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Beth Luwandi Lofstrom who speaks to me about surviving infidelity as the offender, the process of disclosure and how that impacts the partner and recommendations for offenders to get themselves unstuck.     Beth Luwandi Lofstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Cincinnati, Ohio where her specialty areas are love and loss. She treats couples and individuals healing from infidelity and other relationship wounds. Her Whole Human Theory(TM), an approach based on brain science and methods research, also includes personality assessment to effectively confront variations in individual motivation, processing, communication, and inner world. In this way, Whole Human Theory presents an approach that gets to the core of issues in a highly efficient manner and moves people forward as quickly as possible.    Her book, After the Affair, Healing for the Offender uses this unique perspective to treat infidelity from the inside out with a focus on the offender's healing. While most texts unapologetically side with the betrayed partner or give minimal empathy or time to the offender, Ms. Luwandi acknowledges and presents a road map for anyone who has ever strayed and is feeling the effects of their choices.    In this episode, you will hear:     Why Beth decided to focus on the experience of the offender   The unhelpful patterns that get offenders stuck   The process of disclosure and how that impacts the partner   Why Beth doesn’t ask clients to break off their affairs whilst working with them   How some people use affairs to get out of a relationship   How much disclosure is useful around the information of sex?  Recommendations for offenders to get themselves unstuck      Resources  http://bethluwandi.com  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal   http://www.sexologypodcast.com/2017/09/26/rebuilding-sexual-intimacy-after-sexual-betrayal/  Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 97 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller who talks to us about sexual fantasies, the influence culture has in this area and understanding the difference between sexual fantasy and sexual desire.     Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. He is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 40 pieces of academic writing to date, including a textbook entitled The Psychology of Human Sexuality (now in its second edition) that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller's research focuses on topics including casual sex, sexual fantasy, sexual health, and friends with benefits. His studies have appeared in all of the leading journals on human sexuality, including the Journal of Sex Research, Archives of Sexual Behavior, and The Journal of Sexual Medicine.     Dr. Lehmiller has run the popular blog Sex and Psychology since 2011, and it now receives several million page views per year. He has been interviewed by numerous media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, CNN.com, The Atlantic, The Globe and Mail, and The Sunday Times. He has been named one of 5 "Sexperts" You Need to Follow on Twitter by Men's Health and one of the "modern-day masters of sex" by Nerve. Dr. Lehmiller has appeared on several episodes of the television program Taboo on the National Geographic Channel and has been a guest on numerous podcast and radio shows, including the Savage Lovecast and the NPR programs Radio Times and Airtalk. He is a popular freelance writer, penning columns and op-eds for major publications, including Playboy, USA Today, VICE, Psychology Today, Politico, and New York Magazine. In addition, the articles he writes on Sex and Psychology have been syndicated on major websites, including Business Insider, Huffington Post, Men's Health, and Thought Catalog.    In this episode, you will hear:     Findings about sexual fantasies Justin’s found from a recent survey   The similar sexual themes that emerged across various age groups   The influence culture has on sexual fantasy   How political leanings can influence sexual fantasy   Understanding the difference between sexual fantasy and sexual desire   Creating emotional safety around fantasies   Learning to communicate with your partner to please each other’s fantasies     Resources  https://sexandpsychology.com    https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 96 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Melissa Novak who speaks to us about the underlying issues around sexual performance anxiety, the way in which our western culture exacerbates this issue and learning to be honest with your partner about your sexual desires and needs.    Melissa Novak a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and Certified Sex Therapist, specializing in the treatment of sexual dysfunction, personality disorders as well as depression and anxiety-related disorders.  She specializes in working with adults, and couples on a variety of issues such as sexual dysfunction, depression, anxiety, OCD, and PTSD. Melissa has a particular interest in working with those struggling with sexual dysfunction and those concerned about some aspect of their sexual behavior.     In addition to providing individual therapy, Melissa serves as an educator and supervisor within the Chicagoland community and currently teaches as an adjunct professor at the University of Chicago School of Social Service Administration.  She serves as Secretary for the Board of Directors of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).      In this episode, you will hear:     The underlying issues around sexual performance anxiety such as self-doubt  How many people are using uncertified online resources to try and overcome this issue  The way in which our western culture exacerbates this issue   How there is too much pressure on penis size to be the only source of pleasure   How rejection can play a big role around this issue   Learning to be honest with your partner about your sexual desires and needs  What treatment looks like for sexual performance anxiety         Resources  http://www.mntherapies.com    Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MCM62XY    https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 95 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Jordan Rawlins and F.C Brandt who speak to me about their new book E Is For Erotica, the exploration of open and non-monogamous relationships and how our relationships are continually evolving.     Jordan Rawlins is a Southern California native who made a living as a poker player, stuntman, actor and trained as a magician, before finding his place as a writer. His children's movie, “Rescue Dogs,” opened in theaters nationwide in 2016. He was a semi-finalist for the 2018 Academy Nicholl Fellowship. On the digital front, he has worked with Maker Studios and Defy Studios on various projects. In 2018 he worked with WBTV and Amore and Vita on a new half-hour series. A playwright, his stage plays have been seen in theaters across America and in London. He has numerous projects for the big and small screen in various stages of development. He is the author of the novel "Monsters of the Apocalypse" and the comedy Alphabet book, "E is for Erotica." His free time is spent fly-fishing, volunteering with his favorite charities, and getting yelled at by two demanding cats.    F.C Brandt is a storyboard artist, documentary filmmaker, and a cartoonist. He’s responsible for the comic book documentary Comic Book Independents, has been a storyboard artist for commercials and feature films and has been working on his own personal project A Hero A Day for the past several years. He recently launched his new book with his friend Jordan Rawlins, E is for Erotica. E is for Erotica is a Dr. Seuss like book for grown-ups that explores all aspects of sexuality using the alphabet as its guide.     In this episode, you will hear:     Why they made the book E is For Erotica   The reasoning and thinking for not including gay terminology in the book   How they made a conscious effort to represent a diverse mix of people   The exploration of open and non-monogamous relationships   The issue of jealousy in monogamous relationships  The difficulty of communication with non-monogamous relationships  How our relationships are continually evolving     Resources  https://www.amazon.com/Erotica-Jordan-Rawlins/dp/0692132058     Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MCM62XY    https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care    https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  Welcome to episode 94 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Chanta Blue who speaks to us about what the life of a swinger entails, why she became interested in working with this community and is the stigma attached to swingers changing?    Chanta Blue is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Sex Therapist and co-owner of Blue Counseling & Wellness Center in Montclair, NJ. She holds a B.A. in Psychology from Spelman College, a Master’s degree in Social Work from Rutgers University, and a Master’s of Education in Human Sexuality from Widener University. Chanta’s aim is to empower girls and women of color to clarify and create the career, relationships, sexuality, and overall lifestyle they desire.     She specializes in issues related to anxiety, depression, self-esteem, body image and works with folks in various relationship styles including polyamory, swinging, kink, and traditional relationships.    In this episode, you will hear:     What does the swinger lifestyle entail?   How people find ways to connect with other swingers   Why Chanta became interested in working with this community   How Chanta’s research showed a lack of people of colour in the swinger’s community   Is swinging more popular for couples or singles?  Where swinging meets polyamory   The misconceptions around the swinger community   Is the stigma attached to swingers changing?    Resources  https://www.bluewellnesscenter.com  https://www.masakhanecenter.org     Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MCM62XY    https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 93 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Eva Smidova, M.A., PhDr., LMFT who speaks to me about common themes around coming out as transgender, the difference between gender identity and sexual identity and when is a good time to come out to your partner as transgender?     Eva Smidova, M.A., PhDr., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Florida, Transgender Care Certified Therapist, Board Certified Hypnotherapist, Florida Department of Children and Family approved Parenting Care Provider. She holds EU earned degrees M.A. in Psychology and Law, and PhDr. in Clinical Psychology. She recently finished her PhD. in Family Therapy at Nova Southeastern University, Fort Lauderdale.    Eva was born in former Czechoslovakia so rebelling and craving for diversity and freedom are in her DNA. Eva worked in international business and got the opportunity to become familiar with many countries around the world. Before she moved to Florida, she became a resident in Austria.  Eva has been single all her life, yet lived with one partner for almost 20 years. She has a 12-year-old daughter and 32-year-old kind of step-son. She considers herself for gender and sexually; fluid.    She is an expert on couples, marriage, intimacy, family systems, communication strategies and conflict resolutions, life guidance, gender, and sexual issues. She is a professional member of several national and international Family Therapy Associations, also organizations supporting and caring for LGBTQ population – PFLAG, GLSEN, World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), and a professional member of American Association of Sexual Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). She also regularly presents and publishes topics related to the field of family therapy and transgender care nationally and internationally.    In this episode, you will hear:     Common themes around coming out as transgender   The impact fear can have on the process of coming out   Do many couples continue their relationship after one comes out as transgender?   The difference between gender identity and sexual identity   Dealing with the dynamic changes that happen through this process  How couples have improved intimacy and sex through this process  When is a good time to come out to your partner as transgender?     Resources  http://www.psychotherapyswflorida.com  +123 924 742 31   dr.eva.smid@gmail.com    Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MCM62XY    https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 92 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to welcome back Dr. Ari Tuckman who speaks to us about jealousy, the need for open and understanding communication around this issue and steps couples can do to help manage jealousy.     Dr. Ari Tuckman is a psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist based in West Chester, PA. He writes the Sex Matters blog on PsychologyToday.com.     He has given more than 350 presentations across America and in nine other countries.     He also specializes in diagnosing and treating ADHD and recently finished his fourth book, based on research he completed on the relationship and sexual satisfactions of couples where one partner has ADHD.     In this episode, you will hear:     Whose job is it to talk about and address jealousy?   The need for open and understanding communication when it comes to jealousy   Ways the offender of jealousy can reassure their partner   Behaviours to look out for when you might be feeling jealous   What couples can do to help overcome this issue   Steps to take to reduce vulnerability   How feelings of jealousy are normal and what we can do to manage these feelings   Understanding jealousy is a complex issue which can take time to navigate     Resources  https://tuckmanpsych.com   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-matters/201806/who-should-fix-jealousy    Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MCM62XY    https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 91 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Charlie Glickman PhD, who speaks to us about somatic sexual healing, the experiential practices he uses with his clients and sexual surrogacy; the misconceptions and reality of what actually happens.     Charlie Glickman PhD is a sex & relationship coach, a sexuality educator, a sexological bodyworker, and an internationally-acclaimed speaker. He’s been working in this field for over 25 years, and some of his areas of focus include sex & shame, sex-positivity, queer issues, masculinity & gender, communities of erotic affiliation, and many sexual & relationship practices.     Charlie is also the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners.     Welcome to episode 91 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Charlie Glickman PhD, who speaks to me about somatic sexual healing, the experiential practices he uses with his clients and sexual surrogacy; the misconceptions and reality of what actually happens.             Charlie Glickman PhD is a sex & relationship coach, a sexuality educator, a sexological bodyworker, and an internationally-acclaimed speaker. He’s been working in this field for over 25 years, and some of his areas of focus include sex & shame, sex-positivity, queer issues, masculinity & gender, communities of erotic affiliation, and many sexual & relationship practices.             Charlie is also the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners.             In this episode, you will hear:             What is somatic sexual healing?      How Charlie integrates the sexological and somatical parts into his work       Sex and intimacy; what Charlie is passionate about in helping people to navigate this area       The experiential practices Charlie uses with his clients       Understanding and knowing the boundaries with clients during sessions       Sexual surrogacy; the misconceptions and reality of what actually happens             If you are experiencing strong emotions related to past or present trauma and you are looking for resources to get support, you can can visit RAINN’s online hotline (https://hotline.rainn.org/online/) or call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673.             In this episode, you will hear:     What is somatic sexual healing?  How Charlie integrates the sexological and somatical parts into his work   Sex and intimacy; what Charlie is passionate about in helping people to navigate this area   The experiential practices Charlie uses with his clients   Understanding and knowing the boundaries with clients during sessions   Sexual surrogacy; the misconceptions and reality of what actually happens       Resources  http://charlieglickman.com   https://twitter.com/charlieglickman   https://www.facebook.com/charlie.glickman   http://www.makesexeasy.com   https://bettymartin.org     Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MCM62XY    https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 90 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb who speaks to me about what adult age play entails, how shame and embarrassment surround this issue and how a lack of nurturing at a young age could play into this issue.     Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb has been counseling individuals and couples in the area of human sexuality for over 25 years. She received her PhD in clinical sexology from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists in Orlando, FL.    She is an AASECT certified sex therapist in private practice specializing in the alternative sexuality communities, such as open relationships, ABDL, GLBT, BDSM, kink and fetishes. She wrote her doctoral dissertation on the mental health experience of ABDL individuals, specializes in therapy for this community and speaks on the subject to help promote better understanding for individuals and their families.     Her approach to therapy is helping people to understand, accept and appreciate their sexuality with all the wonderful unique flavors that come with it. Shame, embarrassment, guilt and fear are poisonous to healthy sexual expression so letting go of old, irrational and impractical belief patterns can pave the way for a new and exciting beginning.     Her recent book, No More Hiding: Permission to Love your Sexual Self, is a guide for those seeking help with alternative sexuality such as BDSM, Kinks, fetishes and open relationships.    In this episode, you will hear:     What does adult age play entail?  How shame and embarrassment surround this issue   Understanding how and why the diaper fetish develops   Knowing when will be best to approach your partner about this   The different variations on how this manifests sexually   How kink and BDSM behaviours can be connected    How a lack of nurturing at a young age could play into this issue     Resources  www.drrhoda.com   dr.rhoda@yahoo.com     Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/MCM62XY    https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 89 of the Sexology Podcast, today we talk about the issue of low desire and the steps you can take to improve your sex life even if you have low desire.     In this episode, you will hear:     The common factors that contribute to low libido  Understanding whether your issue is more psychological or physiological   How relationship issues affect low desire   Understanding that sex is not perfect and that it’s ok not to be on your A-game every time you have sex  Learning to create an erotic environment   Communicating these issues as a couple and learning how to help each other    Resources  http://www.sexologypodcast.com  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care      Podcast produced by Pete Bailey - https://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy