Night Classy

Hayley tells the story of America’s most famous criminal couple: Bonnie and Clyde. Next, Kat teaches a lesson on vestigiality- the structures, behaviors, and organs that evolution has rendered useless. Meanwhile, Hayley reminisces about the tail she may have had, and exposes her own vestigial structure: her crooked buttcrack.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Our Link Tree Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Kat tells the story of the hungriest man who ever lived: Tarrare. Tarrare was known to eat anything he could find including raw organs, live cats, and garbage, until he literally ended up with a food baby.. Next, Hayley teaches a lesson on the disappearance of John and Linda Sohus. The moral of this story is never, EVER trust a man named Chip. Not even Chip Gaines.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Our Link Tree Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Hayley blows our minds with the fact that there are lizard people, and they live in Denver, CO. That’s right! We are talking about Denver Airport conspiracy theories. What’s scarier: the world ending or being crushed to death by a veiny blue horse? Next, Kat takes on some conspiracy theories of her own around the 90s’ favorite toy: Furby! Until they make a Furby that can hold our hair and put us to bed after a night out, we don’t want one.  Our Linktree Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Hayley goes grim this week and tells us about Masha and Dasha Krivoshlyapova; a pair of conjoined twins who were ruthlessly experimented on by Soviet Russia. Then, Kat lightens the mood by taking us to a 17th century French prison, where an anonymous prisoner was made to wear a mask, concealing his identity over his decades long sentence. Who was the man in the iron mask? Or dare we say- the mutt in the iron muzzle? DOGGY STYLE. This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit https://ralphieandalice.com/ and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Hayley teaches us all about our first and favorite childhood video game: The Sims! Then we get in our biggest fight ever over Hayley making Kat's sim blonde and evil. Next, Kat tells us about the ancient Roman holiday (?) Lupercalia and how it ~may~ have inspired Valentine's Day. We also learned that people back in the day fuuuuuu*ked, they just didn't say it like that. This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Our Website Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Kat teaches the legend of Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary! She is real, but a bitch can only be in one place at a time. Then, BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELTS (get it?) while Hayley tells us about Henry Ford’s dry, vegetarian utopia: Fordlandia, and its dark underbelly of square dancing.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

This episode starts out sweet, then gets a little salty! Kat teaches a lesson on candy; ancient candy, Halloween candy, sex store candy.. All the candy! Then, Hayley tells us about Torajan funerals and how dying really isn’t so bad. You get a tan, lose some weight, get a cool leather jacket, and are pulled up to heaven by a team of beautiful buffalo. Or rats if you’re ballin’ on a budget.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Our Website Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Hayley teaches a lesson on the world’s longest documented penis. JUST KIDDING. She teaches a lesson on the world’s first meme! Or is it me-me? Next, Kat wants you to know that not all MAGA freaks are Evangelical Christians who worship sky daddy. There is a sizable population of white supremacist pagans who are terrorists on the streets and polytheistic in the sheets.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Our Website Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Kat teaches a lesson on the “Bling Ring,” a group of rich teenagers who repeatedly robbed the homes of celebrities including Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, and fashion icon Lindsay Lohan. We aren’t saying we want to steal from Hilary Duff, but we are saying we want to take selfies in her bathroom. Then, Hayley tells us all about frenemies Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis. Did Jerry Lee show up at Graceland with a gun? Or was it just his knee bulge?  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Our Website Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Hayley tells the original story behind Disney’s The Little Mermaid, and we spot the differences and the symbolism. Does the surface of the ocean mean sex? Is the red garden her pubes? Probably. Then, Kat presents the wild origin story of Rainforest Cafe. Rainforest Cafe is not a ‘just the tip’ kind of operation. It’s the whole shaft.  This episode is sponsored by Ralphie and Alice. For 15% off your order, visit ralphieandalice.com and enter our promo code NIGHTCLASSY.  Our Website Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021