Night Classy

Happy Oktoberfest b*tches and welcome to our *loosely* themed episode! Hayley delights us with the tale of  Peter, a feral child plucked from Germany's Black forest and raised by royalty. Peter was a wild boy, not a proper boy- and it showed. Next, Kat hits Oktoberfest on the nose with a lesson on beer. Beer making started as many as 10,000 years ago, and was a vital part of society. So much so, there were goddesses dedicated to its making, not limited to our current beer goddess: The St. Paulie Girl.  linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

If Johnny Appleseed has come up in your life a lot recently, you’re not alone. And if you’re a big fan of sacks, you’re also not alone! For being raised by a tree, Johnny Appleseed has left quite a legacy as the creepy old man giving away sections of books. Oh, and planting trees! Next, we rejuvenate with a lesson on Drunk Tank Pink and get toxic with Paris Green. Even the guy who researched the calming effects of this shade of pink isn’t positive how it works or how long it works but why not paint jail cells pink? The same cannot be said for Paris Green. We DO know the best way to get your daily dose of arsenic is by painting, wearing, or ingesting some Paris Green! So lesion us alone and get to listening.   https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Lord Timothy Dexter was not a lord, but he was the Informer of Deer, a collector of giant statues, and the first in the East, the first in the West, and the greatest philosopher of the western world. In other words, he was a moron- possibly the biggest in history. Next, we learn about Catfish of the sports world Leeroy Jenkins. Sadly for him, his “high school” football team does not consist of Russel Wilson, Russel Wilson, and Russel Wilson, but he probably would insist otherwise.  https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Death is a part of life and, coincidentally, this week's episode! Hayley teaches us about the Capuchin Catacombs of Palermo which attracts hoards of tourists thanks to its 8,000+ mummified corpses. The most famous of them being 2 year-old, Rosalia Lombardo, the blinking mummy. And we have the MRI scan to prove she's real! As real as Kim K's you-know-what. Next, Kat answers all of our burning questions about American squirrels like, "The American government used propaganda to persuade school children to do WHAT to squirrels?!" We had walkathons, these children had homicide... It was a different time.    https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

This week in the CIA think tank- AKA Night Classy, Kat lures us to a hotel room to look at crystals and talk about murder. Charles Sobhraj evaded the police countless times during his ”Hippie Trail” murder spree, but ultimately it was mineral water that took him down. Next, Hayley dips her feet in the food industry and revisits an age old debate: Coke or Brad’s Drink?  Support the brands that support us! Use code NIGHTCLASSY for 30% off your order of BetterMorning at trybetterbrand.com https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Bama Rush TikTok has taken over the internet but not a single video mentions the secret not-so-secret society operating behind the scenes of University of Alabama’s Greek life. Hayley clues us into all things “The Machine,” except for why it tries so hard to control the Student Government Association… and what the student government is… and what it does... but you know it’s bad when Bill Cosby shows up! Kat lifts the mood with a throwback lesson on the widely hated and widely loved band, Insane Clown Posse. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll realize the origin of children telling each other to spell “I cup” was just a misspelling of ICP. They should’ve named the band Joseph Squared anyway. But that won’t stop the loyal juggalos, they go wherever Faygo.    Head over to our social media to check out our own ICP-inspired photoshoot as our latest alter egos, Kotton Kandy (Kat) and Cherry Pie (Hayley). Coming soon!  https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Try BetterMorning by going to www.trybetterbrand.com. Enter promo code NIGHTCLASSY for 30% off your order!  Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

We are feeling lucky! Kat covers the concept of luck along with some charms, rituals, and superstitions. Remember, never eat a plain egg puck, lest you be cursed with 100 years of infidelity. Next, Hayley teaches a lesson on Ty Warner, the creator of Beanie Babies. We all owe a big thank you to Hayley and her midwestern brethren for making Beanie Babies happen, and our past selves a kick in the pants for donating all of them to Goodwill. Think of the Juicy Couture tracksuits we could have bought with the profits!  https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Try BetterMorning by going to www.trybetterbrand.com. Enter promo code NIGHTCLASSY for 30% off your order!  Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

This week, we realize the best way of practicing humility is to use your collection of ancient artifacts as tiles on your bathroom floor. Or if you own Hobby Lobby, you can just craft that shit up yourself. But that makes too much sense and involves too little scandal! Next, Kat adds injury to death. If you must die, die in The Alnwick Poison Garden where all your goth dreams will come true. In this garden of death, you'll find the world's most lethal botany. First, they're sweet, then they're sour, then they make you go blind.  Support the brands that support us! Use code NIGHTCLASSY for 30% off your order of BetterMorning at trybetterbrand.com https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

This week, we’re drinking a tantalizing mixture of brandy, egg whites and rat poison- sponsored by The Olympics! Just kidding, but also not kidding, because the 1904 Olympics was exactly that wild. Think- a poodle-clipping competition won by Avril Lafoule wild. Next, Hayley explains why depressed millennials are obsessed with their pets and what happens when they go too far. And we experience a historic re-teaching moment about one very famous aristocat.  Support the brands that support us! Use code NIGHTCLASSY for 30% off your order of BetterMorning at trybetterbrand.com   Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Fact: family annihilators all have golden retrievers and live in cookie-cutter neighborhoods. But that would never happen in a Disney-created town, right? RIGHT?! Listen to Hayley’s lesson on the creepy happenings in the town of Celebration, Florida and maybe you’ll end up hating Mickey Mouse too. Or if you’d rather keep the magic alive, you can skip right to Kat’s lesson. It’s ~out of this world~ Kat teaches us about the red planet that is red. It’s boiling hot and toxic as fuck. Would you “swipe right” on a lesson about life on Mars?! After this lesson, you too can be a hoe for science... maybe even a “know” for science!  Follow @SilvrIsKee and @BTNTuune on social media to keep up with their journey to raise money and help houseless people around the country. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021