Night Classy

Birthday anxiety + conspiracy + tragedy = The 27 Club. Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, and Jimi Hendrix are all members of this non-official yet permanent club. Learn all about it so we can then lighten the mood with Hallmark Christmas movie factoids ie: budgets, paranormal romance restrictions, preferred stages of grief, etc. This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

I guess we’re a diet podcast now because Hayley weighs in on the strange and scary history of dieting. Some fun fads include shopping mall scales, showing off your abnormally tiny poop, and our own contribution a “juice” (wine) cleanse. Then, it’s cryptid time because Kat tells the story of The Flatwoods Monster. In summary, she thicc and she stinks.  This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Hayley experiences the sunken lost cause fallacy and brings us a lesson on how the Oxford English Dictionary was created. There are a lot of dick-tionary jokes and we all learn and re-learn some words. TLDR: this lesson is better than it sounds. Next, Kat stays on brand and talks about horses for 45 minutes. Learn about the time Dancer's Image won the Kentucky Derby in 1968 and the conspiracy (real) reason as to why he was disqualified. Bonus segment: best horse names. We have dibs on Pistachio Diplomat and Snip Snap. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Kat crawls out of a 3-foot tall meat freezer to teach us about the "toe shoes" of gastronomy: the Paleo diet. Did cavemen really gorge on raw ground beef between shirtless beer pong matches? Find out in Act 1! Then Hayley shows up with a lesson on the biggest bitch in the hive: The Queen Bee. Pooping out babies and eating Royal Jelly isn't disgusting, Kat. Find out the most painful spots to be stung (Spoiler alert: one of them is the penis shaft.) https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

The crown jewels of Ireland may be pitiful but the reason why they disappeared is pathetic. Just get a new safe. It’s literally the royal fucking family. Thankfully, it was all just pranks. Next, Kat is a list bitch and takes a deep dive into the most intriguing and peculiar inventions she could find on the internet. Because why hire a person when the wind can be your babysitter? Why drink normal water when it can be electric? These are the questions we ask ourselves whilst using the pissoir.  https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Kat explains localization: the practice of adapting foreign media for local audiences. Localization played a major role in the importation of Japanese anime to the United States… for better or for worse. Things happened, decisions were made.. Or not made. Then, Hayley teaches a lesson on sex shop pioneer Beate Rottenburg, but you can just call her Beet. Beet is a complicated figure to say the least, but we have her to thank for the convenient availability of edible underwear and candy flavored lube. #Blessed https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Kat may not be a strong medium but she still knows what the people want: a lesson on ouija boards! Much like the toy, it was a medium success. But we still have questions like, “What is your accent?” and “Are you wearing underwear?” Ouija gonna do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Next, Hayley reminds us of the hell Carl Tanzler put Elena Hoyos’ corpse (and family) through. At least she got some hot beef tea before being blasted into outer space, because science. Happy  https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Hayley tells us about a man with a plan: Carl Tanzler. From childhood, Carl received visions of his future spouse and spent his adult life searching for her. But when he finally met the object of his obsession, she was dying of TB (Tuberculosis, not tight butthole) and her time on earth with him was short… But Carl could live with a little corpse stink. Then, if Kat had to read something horrible, you have to hear about it. We bring to you one of the most brutal and creepy murders in history: The Hinterkaifeck Killings. At least they didn’t kill the dog, am I right?  https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

This week Hayley teaches us about The Pollock Twins! They’re the direct result of reincarnation and their parents not being able to keep their hands off each other, despite almost getting a divorce. We are convinced souls are recycled and these young ladies are pretty convincing. Next, Kat takes us to a scary place full of HOAs. Having a $1.3 mansion doesn’t sound too bad until there’s someone who calls themselves “The Watcher” involved. If you also consider yourself a sensitive daisy, you’ve been warned! This spooky tale is sure to wilt you.  https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

It’s an animated ribbon! It’s a quoof! It’s ectoplasm! All are true for Kat’s lesson on the mysterious, gelatinous substance coming out of all orifices remotely related to ghosts. Some call it egg whites and urine, others call it “soul substance” but at the end of the day you could probably just make ectoplasm at home tbh. Next, Hayley talks a lot about kale and its girth. Halloween was the OG romantic holiday and as previously stated, there were a lot of fruits and vegetables involved. And no, we are not f*cking with you. Good thing apples are so versatile #ThanksJohnnyAppleseed https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021