Unapologetically Sensitive

EPISODE Bonus Episode Day 24 TITLE Working Together and Respecting Different Needs and Expectations GUEST Solo episode—Patricia Young EPISODE OVERVIEW After surviving a long 9 days when my kids were home from college with their guests, I talked about how I needed to figure out how to create and maintain balance in Bonus Episode 23 since my boys will be home for a month for winter break. Jacquelyn Strickland, who has been running the Highly Sensitive Person--HSP Gathering Retreats for many years commented on my post encouraging me to rethink my statement to "It will be important for the group [my family] to come up with ways that allow everyone to enjoy each other's company while also respecting different needs and expectations." This got me thinking about how I have made my HSP needs my problem instead of seeing that as a family, we need to figure out something that works for everyone. We also came up with the idea of setting up my son in the "North Wing" when he comes home (aka garage!). BIO Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice. Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. LINKS Dr. Elaine Aron—www.hsperson.com Jacquely Strickland/HSP Gathering Retreat--http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/hspgathering.htm To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "view in itunes" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail--info@unapologeticallysensitive.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Episode 7 TITLE The 5 Love Languages GUEST Dr. Tom Murray EPISODE OVERVIEW Dr. Tom Murray explains why it's important to be able to speak your partner's love language. Most people identify their top 2 love languages. Words of Affirmation-the person needs to hear, "I love you," and receive compliments. There is a sense that words hold value. This will strengthen the bong to hear that your partner cares deeply about you. Quality Time-giving your partner undivided attention. Spending time together feels comforting and satisfying. Your partner may be bothered if you're on your phone during these times Receiving Gifts-Receiving tokens of appreciation shows the person that their partner is thinking of them. It's showing signs of appreciation, and it's not so much about being materialistic Acts of Service-for these people, actions speak louder than words. They feel loved and cared for when their partner does things that help to make their life easier (washing the car, picking up something on the way home, doing the dishes). Physical Touch—this can be things like holding hands, kissing, public displays of affection, sitting close together. HIGHLIGHTS It's possible for us to want a certain type of love language to be used with us, and we resent it at the same time Tom believes that it's really helpful when a partner recognizes that the other partner may be loving them with the love language that is their partner's preferred love language. If you want to figure out your partner's love language, you can observe how they respond to other people in their relationships Men, culturally have a harder time acknowledging that they have needs Men need support in allowing themselves to receive in a way that's meaningful to them When we have parents that don't provide a rich emotional environment, many times we don't recognize our needs since it wasn't modeled for us Improv can be great for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) to help them be less in their heads and more in the moment BIO Dr. Tom Murray, international trainer, educator, and couples and sex therapist, is a widely sought-after expert in the fields of sexuality and intimate relationships. For 15+ years, Murray has worked with everyday folks to embrace their weirdness, shed labels and shame, lean into anxiety, and build better and stronger relationships. Murray's appeared in numerous venues, including the Huffington Post and The Daily Mail, as well as radio, television and podcasts, including the Practice of Being Seen and Shrink Rap Radio. Murray directs a group practice in Greensboro, NC and holds a faculty appointment at Northwestern University's Family Institute. LINKS Website— https://drtommurray.com/ Self-assessment for the 5 Love Languages-- https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ Downloadable self-test-- https://www3.canyons.edu/faculty/rafterm/0%200lli%20loveandloss/Day%20Files/Day%201%20Files/5%20Love%20Languages%20Assessment.pdf Dr. Elaine Aron-- https://hsperson.com/ To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "view in itunes" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail--info@unapologeticallysensitive.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Bonus Episode Day 23 TITLE How to Care for Ourselves When We are Depleted GUEST Solo episode—Patricia Young EPISODE OVERVIEW After having 4 teenagers staying with us for 9 very long days, I talk about how depleted I am, and how challenging it was to be the only Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) who is sensitive to sounds, people and noise in a household of 6. It brought back those old feelings of feeling like I'm a freak and not asserting myself because I felt like I was being too picky. I realize that I need to assert my needs and figure out how to negotiate with others in order to have an environment that works for everyone. I realize that because of this, I haven't done a very good job of teaching my boys how to be sensitive and considerate of others' needs. I always made it about me, and I didn't require them to be more mindful about this. They kids will be back for close to a month over spring break, so it will be important for me come up with some ways to allow myself to maintain peace and balance. BIO Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice. Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. LINKS Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail--info@unapologeticallysensitive.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Bonus Episode Day 22 TITLE When No One Shows Up to the Party, Send Out More Invitations GUEST Solo episode—Patricia Young EPISODE OVERVIEW I have an weekly online group, and for 2 weeks, I rushed to be there on time, and I was the only one. I felt angry and resentful and disappointed because I count on this group and the connection. For 2 weeks, I cut things short to be on time because I value this group. I realized that I need to add more members to the group (I've just been too busy, so I haven't made it a priority, but my resentment was an indication that I need to take care of myself). HSPs tend to be very loyal, conscientious and committed to what we do. It's not uncommon for us to overwork and overdo in relationships. If this works for us, there's no problem, but often we end up feeling resentful or feeling like it's more important to us than the other person(s). It's our responsibility to take care of ourselves and our needs. BIO Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice. Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. LINKS Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail--info@unapologeticallysensitive.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Bonus Episode Day 21 TITLE Losing My Sh*t! It's NOT about the Gravy! GUEST Solo episode—Patricia Young EPISODE OVERVIEW I win the triple crown award for B*tch of the day for Thanksgiving! It was a stressful day filled with noise, overstimulation, too many people, overwhelm and some mishaps. I dropped a handful of swear words with all of my guests present in my home over a gravy mishap. It's NOT about the gravy. There were stressors leading up, but I shamed my husband (which is totally NOT ok). I also talk about "the bank of mom," and how when the bank of mom is depleted, you cannot make withdrawals before making some deposits or it impacts our relationship. A friend crowned herself "Victim of the Day," and my neighbor dropped a whole pie before they left the house. How was your holiday? I'd love to hear all about it! The good, bad and ugly. BIO Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice. Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer. LINKS Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail--info@unapologeticallysensitive.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Vulnerability alert! I'm getting caught up with the number of downloads (listeners) to the podcast, and I'm feeling a little depressed because I'm connecting my sense of value and worth to how many people are listening. I'm questioning, "Do I matter? Am I important? Is what I have to say important?" and I'm thinking that, "No one wants to hear about me." My friend Laura Carr, LMFT reminds me that this is like dieting and getting on and off the scale and feeling good if the numbers go down, and feeling bad if the numbers go up. My value and worth are not connected to downloads. My "why" for doing this podcast is to create a tribe and a culture where we embrace sensitivity, and we feel really good about who we are.

This is a simple episode thanking all the listeners (and I mention all of the countries that you are listening from!). I give a special shout out to my husband Steve Young, my mom Judy Winkler, and my 2 best friends Laura Carr, LMFT and Maureen Fitzgerald. I offer a simple exercise in gratitude.

The holidays can be a really stressful time. In preparation for the holiday, what are you really wanting? It's easy to get focused on perfection (the perfect house; the perfect family; the perfect meal), bt we often lose the opportunity to connect with those we love because we're so focused on perfection.

EPISODE Episode 6 TITLE Creating Peace Through the Holidays GUEST Sharon Martin, LCSW EPISODE OVERVIEW We talk about ways to make the holidays smoother—in terms of travelling, having guests, dealing with family members who may be challenging, feeling obligated, overspending, expectations, and lots of ways that Sensitives can provide better care for themselves during these times of overstimulation, high expectations and lots of activity. Sharon explains what it's like if a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) has a narcissist (or someone with narcissistic tendencies) in their life. We talk about feeling criticized, and no matter what you do, it never feels like you're enough or you're good enough. We talk a little about anxiety and depression and how counseling or therapy can help to gain insight into patterns that are from childhood. We talk about ways to take breaks; looking at new traditions, and being sure to take care of our basic needs BIO Sharon Martin, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist, mental health writer, and media contributor on emotional health and relationships. Her psychotherapy practice, in San Jose, CA, specializes in helping perfectionists and people-pleasers embrace their imperfections and overcome self-doubt and shame. Her own struggle to feel "good enough", inspired her passion for helping others learn to accept and love themselves. Sharon writes the popular blog Happily Imperfect for PsychCentral.com and is the author of the forthcoming book The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism. HIGHLIGHTS Which parts of the holidays are overwhelming? You don't have to do everything Take a lot of breaks If you are travelling to see family, consider staying in a hotel Be sure you're taking care of your basic needs—sleep, nutrition, time alone, exercise, quiet time How to deal with challenging family members who may be narcissistic or are very critical Setting realistic expectations Prioritizing your values Recognizing limited resources Identifying where you feel obligated Fear of disappointing others LINKS website: https://LiveWellwithSharonMartin.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sharonmartinlcsw/ blog: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/ Dr. Elaine Aron www.hsperson.com Dr. Ted Zeff www.drtedzeff.com Movie—Sensitive The Untold Story Podcast—Highly Sensitive Person highlysensitiveperson.net/book A Highly Sensitive Person's Life: Stories and Advice for Those Who Experience the World Intensely by Kelly O'Laughlin Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail--info@unapologeticallysensitive.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Bonus Episode Day 17 TITLE One of my favorite stories about Josh and empathy GUEST Joshua Young EPISODE OVERVIEW Josh talks about his perspective about sensitivity. We talk about my anxiety and how it impacted him and what was helpful in how I communicated with him. I talk about how when Josh was applying for college, at one point, I was asked to NOT talk with him about it, then my husband coached me to only ask him 2 questions at a time, which was very effective. I talk a lot in the introduction about the mental load we carry when we have to remember all the details for everyone we care for, and what a toll it can take. I give some suggestions about what worked for us. BIO Josh Young is a freshman at Cal State University Fullerton where he is a business major. Josh has a wicked sense of humor, and loves to push the rules until they just about break. Josh loves doing distance cycling, and he did his first triathalon a few years ago. He also participates in marathon napping! LINKS Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail--info@unapologeticallysensitive.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com