Unapologetically Sensitive

Episode 23 TITLE Narcissism and the Highly Sensitive Person GUEST Dr. Natalie Jones EPISODE OVERVIEW What is narcissism? What does it look like in relationships (romantic and parental).  Gaslighting—what is it? The connection between narcissists and HSPs (partners and parents). The HSP is often the scapegoat in the family.  There may be a golden child and the children are pitted against each other. If you have a parent who is narcisstic, the HS child often feels guilty and believes what the narcissistic   parent tells them (you’re too sensitive; too selfish; you never call me; you don’t care).  Once people understand narcissism, they see that the limitation is in the parent, NOT the HSP. The energy of the room changes when the narcissist enters the room, and leaves the room.  You can FEEL the energy shift. HIGHLIGHTS What someone who is in a relationship with someone with narcissistic  traits may be experiencing Anxiety, depression, ambivalence Not sure where they stand in the relationship Unable to discuss serious problems Don’t’ know the future of the relationship Self-doubt and questioning Partner isn’t meeting your emotional needs What do narcisstic traits look like? It’s on a spectrum—mild, moderate, medium and severe They feel better than you They are in their own special category—they feel “special” and “above” you Hypocracy—do as I say, but not as I do—these rules apply to you, but not to me They objectify people—everything is seen as property and an extension of the narcissist You can make decisions without their approval There is danger when you want to leave the relationship They have a God-like or superior complex The believe they are special/beautiful and surround themselves with others they perceive to have the same superior qualities Narcisstic Personality Disorder is one of the cluster B Personality Disorders, among Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder & Histrionic Personality Disorder Fully Diagnosed Narcisstic Personality Disorder affects approximately 1-2% of the population. These are rare and extreme cases, and they tend to be part of the criminal justice system. What are red flags in the beginning of a relationship so you can spot someone with narcisstic traits? They have inconsistent, tumultuous, and short-term relationships with family, friends and partners. They are either the hero or the victim They appear too good to be true. They can be super charming, good looking and win people over easily in the beginning The move quickly in relationships. They have whirlwind romances; have sex early on in a relationship; rush to get married; rush to have children There is a degree of secrecy re: prior relationships. You feel like you don’t really know them, and they won’t discuss their problems They introduce you to family and close friends very quickly, but you seem to be insignificant to family and friends since they are always introducing a new partner What types of people do narcissists tend to look for in partners? People they can control, pressure or subject a position of power over or they can easily isolate They like empathic people like Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) because they can play their heartstrings and the HSP is more likely to forgive them They won’t seek out other narcissists or powerful people (too much conflict) People who have a history or trauma, so they can retraumatize you and they know how to find your wounds and use them against you They tend to align themselves with people (not partners) of greater status They name drop—people they don’t know, but it’s to feel powerful What is gaslighting? It’s psychological brainwashing Manipulating someone psychologically so that person questions their reality The person doesn’t trust their own perceptions or themselves It’s like living in the Twilight Zone Jim Jones is an example They will compliment and degrade you in the same sentence They will change the topic in order to deflect or to blame They will triangulate with a 3rd party to invalidate you and make you doubt yourself They project their insecurities onto you They have tantrums and showdowns—especially on holidays or special occasions and you feel bad and doubt yourself. What does it look like if you have a narcisstic parent? The parent is not invested in your or the problems that come up for you They will make it about them—i.e., Had it not been for me, then you (minimize your experience) They often will just say, “Because I’m your mother/father.” They will tell you, “That’s not a real problem.” People who have a narcisstic parent may dissociate, turn the radio up, or find ways to “check out.” They may keep contact with the narcisstic parent short and sweet Narcisstic parents will call their children names, take advantage of them, expect them to care for the other siblings You can feel the energy in the room change when a narcissist enters and when they leave the room.  It’s like they pull energy from the room, and everyone feels it. RESOURCES Podcasts A Date With Darkness—Dr. Natalie Jones  https://drnataliejones.com/podcast/ Codependency No More—Brian Piser https://www.codependencynomore.com/category/podcast/ Love Junkie: Help for the Relationship Obsessed, Love Addicted, & Codependent—Shena Tubbs https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/love-junkie-help-for-the-relationship-uNjKz54H8fe/ Books Toxic Parents by Susan Forward Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward Unspoken Legacy: Addressing the Impact of Trauma and Addiction within the Family by Claudia Black Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men  By Lundy Bancroft The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide To Changing The Patterns Of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner   The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner   The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self by Harriet Lerner    Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change  by Robin Norwood Confessions of a Narcissist by HG Tudor (there are MANY books by this author) Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic  Mothers by Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.   Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration  by Karen C.L. Anderson Surviving Mama An Adult Daughter’s Guide by Dr. Pamela Everett Thompson Youtuber Kim Saeed-- https://www.youtube.com/user/LetMeReach           BIO Dr. Natalie Jones, PsyD., LPCC is a Licensed professional clinical counselor and a post doctoral intern. She currently has a private practice called Lifetime Counseling and Consulting in CA where she specializes in working with women who have been in emotionally and psychologically abusive relationships with narcissists, as well as with individuals who were previously incarcerated for various crimes. Dr. Jones has a podcast called A Date With Darkness Podcast, which specializes in providing education and tips from healing from narcissistic  relationships. Dr. Jones received her masters in clinical counseling psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology in Chicago, IL, and her doctorate in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology in San Francisco, CA. Dr. Jones has also written blogs for the Mind Journal and PsychCentral.   PODCAST HOST   Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts they have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS https://www.drnataliejones.com https://www.adatewithdarkness.com. IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.nataliejones/ IG2: https://www.instagram.com/adatewithdarknesspodcast/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/drnataliejones/ FB2: https://www.facebook.com/adatewithdarkness/ FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/196036654267594/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Dr_NatalieJones Twitter 2: https://twitter.com/ADateWDarkness   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”     Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Bonus Episode 40 TITLE What Being A “Stand Up Guy” Means—A Beautiful Story Of Integrity GUEST Joshua Young EPISODE OVERVIEW My Son Joshua was in the middle of taking a chemistry mid-term at college (he’s on academic probation), and the instructor took his exam away during the test and excused him from class.  Josh shares how his thinking spiraled to his future (not in a good way).  He decided to handle this situation with integrity, and the outcome is a beautiful reflection of the very mature way that Josh handled this challenging situation. BIO Josh Young is a freshman at Cal State University Fullerton where he is a business major.  Josh has a wicked sense of humor, and he loves to push the rules until they just about break.  Josh just started playing Club Baseball for CSUF.  He also loves doing distance cycling, and he did his first triathalon a few years ago.  He also participates in marathon napping, and spending time with his best friend and his girlfriend PODCAST HOST   Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”     Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Episode 022 TITLE Laura Carr, LMFT Interviews Patricia Young About Being A Highly Sensitive Person GUEST Laura Carr, LMFT EPISODE OVERVIEW Laura Carr, LMFT interviews me.  I talk about the benefits of knowing you’re a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). We talk about when I got the idea for the podcast, and my mission for it.  I answer the questions I ask my guests about being a Highly Sensitive Person. Laura shares her initial impression when she first heard the term Highly Sensitive Person. How my view of myself has changed since starting the podcast, and what I’ve learned in the past 5 months since launching the podcast.  We talk about a new definition of play that may be more suitable for HSPs. I talk about what I would have told my younger self. I talk about being loud and proud, well quiet and proud. HIGHLIGHTS When did I get the idea for the podcast? What’s the benefit of knowing you’re an HSP? Why did I start this podcast? What’s my mission for the podcast. How my view of myself has changed since starting the podcast Do I feel articulate? The power of being able to see ourselves authentically. What I would want my younger self to know BIO Laura Carr is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego, CA. Laura has been in private practice since 1998. She co-created the orientation, Compassion Based Awareness Therapy which is an approach that integrates psychological theory and mindfulness. She opened Center for Mindful Relationships (CFMR) in 2012 which offers affordable counseling services to the public. This site also offers training to therapists who are gaining hours towards their MFT licensure. Laura has many roles: a mom, wife, friend, therapist, supervisor, meditator, animal lover, athlete, entrepreneur, and student of Zen. Laura is passionate about personal growth and development.   PODCAST HOST   Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS Website--https://cfmrsandiego.com/   Dr. Elaine Aron’s website— https://hsperson.com/     HSP Self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ HSP Child self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/   Introversion, Extroversion and the Highly Sensitive Person by Jaquelyn Strickland, LPC-- https://hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”     Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Bonus Episode 39 TITLE Is it Depression, Or Are We Retreating to Recharge & Replenish? GUEST Solo episode—Patricia Young EPISODE OVERVIEW Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) often withdraw, and label this withdrawal as depression or going into the cave.  The world is very loud, busy and stimulating, and HSPs need to have time to retreat into a calm quiet place.  Maybe it’s a cave with twinkle lights, good snacks and snuggly blankets.  HSPs sometimes feel they are being flaky or undependendable, when it’s really just a natural rhythm and a need to restore.  When we retreat, do we communicate with others to let them know we need time to pull back?  We need to honor our needs in order to maximize the gifts we have to share with the world. BIO Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia also works with people who tend to be perfectionistic, and don’t feel good enough. They often identify as being depressed and/or having anxiety. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”   Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Episode 21 TITLE Intuition and Knowing Your Worth GUEST Kelly Covert EPISODE OVERVIEW We address the following questions in this episode--What is intuition? Is one’s Inner Voice ever mean or critical? How do you encourage people to get in touch with their intuition? How do we encourage or shut down intuition and communication in kids? We talk about creating meaningful relationships with your children instead of letting rules dictate the relationship. Kelly shares about creating a family mission statement. HIGHLIGHTS Intuition is that inner voice/wisdom We all have intuition It’s a Divine part of who you are We just need to take time to listen to it Intuition is never mean or critical—that’s our ego, which comes from our head How do you encourage people to explore their intuition: Listen to your inner voice Find practices that get us still enough to hear it Journaling (or verbally processing) to get our of your head How do you encourage intuition and communication in kids? Lead by example Ask the right questions Put the relationship before the punishment or judgment How can you tell the difference between intuition and fear? Intuition is never mean Inner mean girls and critical voices are egocentric What’s your superpower as an HSP? If you listen deeply, you can hear other people’s inner voices, and you can help people connect to their inner voice. I have amazing ideas for other people that come to me through Divine Inspiration “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” What would you tell your younger self? You are enough. You don’t have to try so hard “My inner voice is loving. It knows my worth, and that I am worthy. It guides me. It’s powerful, encouraging and it can show us the error of our ways.” BIO Kelly Covert is an inner voice coach with a passion for helping women believe and achieve their big vision by connecting deeply with the wisdom that is inside of them all while owning their worthiness each and every day. Through her intuitive, heart-centered coaching, she helps women awaken to their true power as creators and world-changers.  She is the creator and host of In Her Voice, a podcast for women who feel called to more - to lead, to create, to dream and to change the world. Her work has been featured on The Huffington Post, The Elephant Journal, YourTango.com, and she has been a featured guest on many podcasts.  Kelly is also a professional flutist with Symphoria, a wife and the mother of 2 boys, 15 and 12, and 1 beautiful beagle named Piper. PODCAST HOST   Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Many clients who come to see her experience depression & anxiety, and they report struggling with perfectionism and not feeling good enough. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts they have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS Website-- https://www.kellycovert.com/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/kellyjcovert/ Twitter-- https://twitter.com/Kellyjcovert   Dr. Elaine Aron’s website— https://hsperson.com/   HSP Self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ HSP Child self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/   Introversion, Extroversion and the Highly Sensitive Person by Jaquelyn Strickland, LPC-- https://hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/   Dr. Ted Zeff’s website— http://www.drtedzeff.com/ Strong Sensitive Boy Dr. Ted Zeff   Dr. Ross Greene--https://www.livesinthebalance.org/ The Explosive Child Dr. Ross Greene Lost at School Dr. Ross Greene   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”     Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Bonus Episode 38 TITLE We Never Know How Our Presence Impacts Others GUEST Solo episode—Patricia Young EPISODE OVERVIEW We can feel insignificant, unimportant, and that we are not making an impact on the world, but we never really know how much just being ourselves is impacting others. I talk about how a neighbor who walks by my house daily impacted me when he “went missing,” and how I communicated with him when he turned up again.  When we experience loss, stability in our day-to-day routine can bring great comfort.  Letting others know you miss their presence can cause a huge shift for another since we often struggle with imposter syndrome and feeling like we’re just not enough.  I also talk about Chuy (the person), and Chewie (the dog—who has an Instagram account). BIO Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”   Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Episode 20 TITLE Part 2 Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), & the HSP GUEST Dr. Erika Martinez EPISODE OVERVIEW What is Childhood Emotional Neglect and how does it affect non-HSPs and HSPs? A Highly Sensitive Person being raised by a non-HSP parent could cause CEN. Some symptoms of CEN-- feelings of emptiness (a void), feeling deeply and fatally flawed; don’t feel good enough; feeling unlovable/unlikable; seeking external validation to know you’re ok; being very self-sufficient; may have been parentified, may struggle with being assertive, being angry, experience self-blame; have a hard time asking for help; may have trust issues, may be anxious, depressed or stressed out. We talk about vantage sensitivity, attachment styles and exercises to work with CEN. HIGHLIGHTS What is Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)? A Lack of parental attunement to the child’s emotional needs, and a lack of responsiveness to their emotional needs CEN is such an invisible thing—it’s what failed to happen for you     Symptoms of CEN—feelings of emptiness (a void), feeling deeply and fatally flawed; don’t feel good enough; feeling unlovable/unlikable; seeking external validation to know you’re ok; being very self-sufficient; may have been parentified, may struggle with being assertive, being angry, experience self-blame; have a hard time asking for help; may have trust issues, may be anxious, depressed or stressed out   If you’re an HSP, and your parents were non-HSPs, that in and of itself could cause CEN   Counterdependence—difficulty asking for help   Notes from Dr. Jonice Webb’s article “Childhood Emotional Neglect Undermines the Highly Sensitive Person’s Best Strengths “You feel things deeply and powerfully…When you grow up emotionally neglected, you learn that your emotions are useless and should be ignored and hidden. This takes your powerful force from within, disempowers it, and perhaps even shames you for having it.” “You are a deep thinker who needs to have meaning and purpose in your life…you get the message that your feelings don’t matter…since your emotions are the most deeply personal expression of who you are, it’s natural for you as a child to internalize the message as ‘I don’t matter.’…going through your adult life, you tend to feel less important than other people, and this undermines your ability to experience yourself and your life as meaningful and important. “Your intense feelings and your need to have meaning and purpose in your life both make your relationships heartfelt and genuine…you miss out on the opportunity to learn how to understand and manage your emotions and the emotions of others. Truth or Myth—Because I have CEN and had to learn to read the environment to survive, the CEN CAUSED me to be an HSP Vantage Sensitivity—HSPs will thrive and benefit more in a positive environment than non-HSPs, and conversely, HSPs will be more negatively affected in adverse environments (CEN) than non-HSPs. So HSPs respond better and worse in positive and negative environments/settings than non-HSPs When HSPs find themselves in environments that don’t validate and mirror their feelings, they develop coping mechanisms to push down and bury their emotional world. The HSP learns to “dim” or turn down their emotions to fit in the household, but it comes at the expense of their HSP gifts. 4 Types of Attachment Styles—the 1st is a secure style and the remaining 3 are insecure style Secure attachment Dismissive or avoidant—they don’t connect or seek out relationships Anxious or preoccupied—they’re very worried about being in a relationship; they’re worried about their partner, or their partner’s needs. There can be excessive rumination/worry and racing thoughts Fearful or avoidant—they seek out relationships, then they run away from them. It’s a yo-yo relationship Shame Shields from Dr. Brene Brown’s Research Move toward people—anxious, preoccupied. They tend to be perfectionistic or people-pleasing Move away/withdraw--dismissive Move against—aggressive (passive aggressive), act out, fearful, avoidant, condescending Specific exercises from the book Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb Understand the purpose and value of emotions Alexithymia—being emotionally illiterate and having a difficult time understanding the behavior of other people Identify your own emotions 3x/day Monitor your feelings and how they shift throughout the day Accept and trust your feelings Learn to express yourself effectively Self-care and self-compassion Self-discipline (there is usually an excess of or a lack of)   BIO Erika Martinez, Psy.D., a Florida licensed psychologist and certified educator, specializes in the assessment and treatment of a variety of mental health conditions in young adults. Combing her expertise in neuropsychology, assessment, trauma, and shame resilience, she helps others explore life’s challenging areas and brainstorm solutions using their personal strengths. With greater self-awareness and confidence, they are able to move forward and lead personally and professionally rewarding lives. Dr. Martinez provides therapy to high-achievers, professional millennials, and entrepreneurs facing quarter-life crises, relationship meltdowns, and existential dilemmas which can present as a myriad of symptoms including anxiety, destructive behaviors, self-sabotage, depression, loneliness, burn out, poor self-esteem, shame, and impaired social skills.  She previously worked in graphic design, human resources, and community mental health.  Prior to private practice, she worked in secondary and university public education settings for a decade helping parents, educators, and counselors better understand and serve students with AD/HD, Giftedness, and learning disabilities.  Dr. Martinez is also a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator (CDWF), bringing the groundbreaking research and curriculum on vulnerability, courage, shame, and worthiness developed by Dr. Brené Brown to South Florida.   PODCAST HOST   Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts they have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS Website https://envisionwellness.co Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/ErikaMartinezPsyDCoralGables Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/envisionwellnessco/   https://drjonicewebb.com/   https://drjonicewebb.com/how-childhood-emotional-neglect-undermines-the-highly-sensitive-persons-3-greatest-strengths/   Running on Empty Dr. Jonice Webb Running on Empty No More Dr. Jonice Webb   Daring Greatly Dr. Brene Brown Rising Strong Dr. Brene Brown Gifts of Imperfection Dr. Brene Brown   Ted Talks Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en Listening to Shame https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame/transcript?language=en   Daring Way Weekend Intensive (Dr. Brene Brown’s work) https://thedaringway.org/group/rising-strong-daring-way-weekend-intensive/     Dr. Elaine Aron’s website— https://hsperson.com/   Dr. Ted Zeff’s website— http://www.drtedzeff.com/ Strong Sensitive Boy Dr. Ted Zeff   HSP Self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ HSP Child self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/   Introversion, Extroversion and the Highly Sensitive Person by Jaquelyn Strickland, LPC-- https://hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”     Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Bonus Episode 37 TITLE Vulnerability, My Insecurities & Rants About Therapists GUEST Solo episode—Patricia Young EPISODE OVERVIEW I realized that I have been trying to justify why I choose to be vulnerable, transparent and allow others to see me when I’m in the midst of struggling.  I’ve internalized perceived criticism from therapists that have a different orientation. I just continue to fight against the gremlins in my head that want to shame me for showing up in the world the way that I do. BIO Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”   Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Episode 20 TITLE Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), and the HSP GUEST Dr. Erika Martinez EPISODE OVERVIEW What is Childhood Emotional Neglect and how does it affect non-HSPs and HSPs? These are some symptoms of CEN-- feelings of emptiness (a void), feeling deeply and fatally flawed; don’t feel good enough; feeling unlovable/unlikable; seeking external validation to know you’re ok; being very self-sufficient; may have been parentified, may struggle with being assertive, being angry, experience self-blame; have a hard time asking for help; may have trust issues, may be anxious, depressed or stressed out. Dr. Martinez talks about how to identify CEN and ways to begin the healing process. HIGHLIGHTS What is Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)? A Lack of parental attunement to the child’s emotional needs, and a lack of responsiveness to their emotional needs CEN is such an invisible thing—it’s what failed to happen for you     Symptoms of CEN—feelings of emptiness (a void), feeling deeply and fatally flawed; don’t feel good enough; feeling unlovable/unlikable; seeking external validation to know you’re ok; being very self-sufficient; may have been parentified, may struggle with being assertive, being angry, experience self-blame; have a hard time asking for help; may have trust issues, may be anxious, depressed or stressed out   The HSP in a household with CEN is often the scapegoat and they are ridiculed for their deep processing of emotion. They can feel very wrong, and like they don’t fit in. Sometimes they are referred to as the blacksheep of the family. They are the “disrupter.” Often this person is the healthiest and most differentiated in the family and they are often the “truth teller.”   3 types of groups parents fall into Self-involved, narcissistic, sociopath, addicted, authoritarian Struggling parents—depressed, bereaved, divorced, special needs children or caring for relatives or aging parents Well-meaning—neglected as children, workaholics, achievement oriented, perfectionistic, permissive, tiger parents   Counterdependence—difficulty asking for help   BIO Erika Martinez, Psy.D., a Florida licensed psychologist and certified educator, specializes in the assessment and treatment of a variety of mental health conditions in young adults. Combing her expertise in neuropsychology, assessment, trauma, and shame resilience, she helps others explore life’s challenging areas and brainstorm solutions using their personal strengths. With greater self-awareness and confidence, they are able to move forward and lead personally and professionally rewarding lives. Dr. Martinez provides therapy to high-achievers, professional millennials, and entrepreneurs facing quarter-life crises, relationship meltdowns, and existential dilemmas which can present as a myriad of symptoms including anxiety, destructive behaviors, self-sabotage, depression, loneliness, burn out, poor self-esteem, shame, and impaired social skills.  She previously worked in graphic design, human resources, and community mental health.  Prior to private practice, she worked in secondary and university public education settings for a decade helping parents, educators, and counselors better understand and serve students with AD/HD, Giftedness, and learning disabilities.  Dr. Martinez is also a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator (CDWF), bringing the groundbreaking research and curriculum on vulnerability, courage, shame, and worthiness developed by Dr. Brené Brown to South Florida.   PODCAST HOST   Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts they have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS Website https://envisionwellness.co Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/ErikaMartinezPsyDCoralGables Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/envisionwellnessco/   https://drjonicewebb.com/   https://drjonicewebb.com/how-childhood-emotional-neglect-undermines-the-highly-sensitive-persons-3-greatest-strengths/   Running on Empty Dr. Jonice Webb Running on Empty No More Dr. Jonice Webb         Dr. Elaine Aron’s website— https://hsperson.com/   Dr. Ted Zeff’s website— http://www.drtedzeff.com/ Strong Sensitive Boy Dr. Ted Zeff   HSP Self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ HSP Child self-test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/   Introversion, Extroversion and the Highly Sensitive Person by Jaquelyn Strickland, LPC-- https://hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”     Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

EPISODE Bonus Episode 36 TITLE Being Vulnerable and Having Deep Feelings Takes Courage and Strength GUEST Solo episode—Patricia Young EPISODE OVERVIEW This is a pretty vulnerable episode.  My husband was out of town, and toward the end of the week I sent my husband and message that I was struggling, and he didn’t respond. This really hurt my feelings, and I realized that I have a hard time being direct and asking for what I need.  I wasn’t taking care of my need for play and doing creative projects, and I was feeling resentful because my husband is really good about taking care of his needs. I also realized that I function better when he is gone.  I talk about how we both used this information to create something that works better for both of us. I also talk about some things that I did to shift my energy to create a lighter more playful environment for myself. BIO Patricia Young, LCSW is a therapist in San Diego who is in private practice.  Patricia works primarily with Highly Sensitive People (HSP) helping them understand their HSPness, and to turn their perceived shortcomings into superpowers.  Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate all the gifts we have to offer.  Patricia provides online (telehealth) therapy to people who live in California.  We meet over a private platform (similar to Skype), and you can have therapy from the privacy of your own home—when the kids are at school or are napping; from work; in your pajamas, or when you just can’t face sitting in traffic or going out.   LINKS To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “view in itunes” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”   Website--www.patriciayounglcsw.com Podcast--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail—unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com Youtube--https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail--info@unapologeticallysensitive.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com