Unapologetically Sensitive

Bonus Episode 58 TITLE I Wasn't Invited...Follow Up GUEST Solo Episode EPISODE OVERVIEW What happened after I released bonus episode 56? I had some insights, and some people reached out to me. I also realized that I had blatantly neglected another Mom that was in this group! She reached out to me, and I talk about our conversation. What do we do when someone wants to spend more time with us than we want (or are able to)? Can we be kind and set healthy boundaries? HIGHLIGHTS Another mom from this group I talk about in Bonus episode 56 reached out to me to provide support And she talked about feeling very hurt and left out by the group about something I initiated and never followed through with How to we own our mistakes? How do we make living amends when we have been unkind or insensitive (whether it's intentional or not) Whose responsibility is it when we have been left out and we find out? We may have hurt others by not including them, and not even realized that we've done this What do we do when we find this out? How do we evaluate relationships? Gremlins are really a form of shame, and I talk about why it's important to name our gremlins and how it frees us up If the women who didn't invite me to their get together reached out to me to invite me in the future, would I join them? I explain where I'm at with this What do we do when we meet someone and they want to spend more time with us than we either want to or have the time to? What are some of the reasons that setting boundaries can be difficult for HSPs? PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Pinterest-- https://www.pinterest.com/patriciayounglcsw/ e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Bonus Episode 57 TITLE You Take Things So Personally! How to Respond GUEST Solo Episode EPISODE OVERVIEW As a Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP, it's not uncommon for us to be told that we take things so personally. What does this mean to the person who says it? What if other people told us that they don't process deeply, and they don't feel deeply? The goal (to me) is to become an empowered HSP, so when we hear this, we can get curious about where the other person is coming from. If hearing this feels hurtful, we may have our own work and healing to do. We can embrace all of our feelings, and love our traits. HIGHLIGHTS Other people rarely own how they are impacted by our behavior It often has little to nothing to do with us, but we take it on We can get really curious about what this means to the other person When we have wounding, we tend to feel like this statement is about something that's wrong with us When we do our work and healing, when someone says this to us, it doesn't have to sting Do we need to give ourselves reassurances? What do we need to hear from ourselves so we feel comfort? We want to work things through so we understand. It's important to use descriptive words instead of words like "ruminating" If someone doesn't have the capacity to explore what they're saying, then maybe we need to just say "OK" We don't always have to explain why we are the way we are When we do our work, comments like this won't have that stinging charge We may continue to have a response when someone says something like to us, but the amount that it stings or how long it bothers us can lessen over time It's easy to go into judgement for ourselves and others This is why having self-compassion is important Being an empowered HSP means that we know our strengths and we embrace our traits We can have a party about our sensitivity; it's something to celebrate When we can tease out the wounding around our traits, we can own our traits and feel great about them Messages we have received in the past about our traits can create wounding PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE Sensitive Souls Can Be Prone to Addiction with Angela Raspass GUEST Angela Raspass EPISODE OVERVIEW We discuss the struggle that some Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) have with addiction. Angela shares her recovery story and provides the tools she uses on a daily basis to be her best. We talk about the importance of trusting yourself and leaning into your strengths. Sometimes, what we feel is a weakness, is really our greatest gift(s). Angela talks about the different types of inner critics we have. With addiction, you're not a bad person, just a sick person who needs to be loved back to life. HIGHLIGHTS Angela didn't realize she was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), but in "kindsight" she realized she is an HSP and she struggled with emotions Angela felt like a chameleon, trying to be a specific way so people would approve of her Angela grew up in Australia and began struggling with alcohol addiction in high school Angela used alcohol to numb the pain; help with feelings of insecurity, and to help her forget her self-loathing Angela felt like she was walking around without skin Alcohol helped her interact with people, without worrying about what people thought about her, and her belief that she did not measure up Angela talks about what it means to be a high-functioning alcoholic We discuss Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), which can happen if a parent is NOT an HSP, and the child is Those HSPs who had "difficult" childhoods have a higher rate of anxiety and depression Angela has been sober for 13 years and she is passionate about helping others Angela got to a point where she could NOT stop alcohol; she was emotionally dependent on it. It can be very hard to ask for help. We have a feeling we should be able to stop drinking on our own Brene Brown says that shame needs secrecy to survive, but if you bring it into the light, you can find freedom With the Cycle of Addiction, you use something to stop feeling bad, and then you feel bad for using it, so you use it again With addiction, the addict tries everything to try and trick the addiction. The biggest step is to surrender Recovery is about stopping living in the problem and starting living in the solution You're not a bad person who needs to become good; you are a sick person who needs to get well, and you need to be loved back to life Angela's perception is that everyone at recovery identifies as very sensitive—like people, who felt like they had no skin. There is power in naming what is going on and sharing it and allowing people to see our vulnerability Emotions are created by thinking, and HSPs think much more than non-HSPs It's important to know our triggers—things like comparison, envy, jealousy Recovery is about needing tools to recognize the emotions that are behind the feeling. You can allow yourself to move through uncomfortable feelings and not get stuck. It's all about self-realization. Angela gets through emotions a lot quicker now because she honors her feelings, and she recognizes them, which allows them to pass Tara Brach talked about the second arrow. The first arrow is the pain, and the second arrow is the hard time we give ourselves over feeling the pain We need to keep ourselves in a fit spiritual state Angela has tools she calls Bookends and Park Bench BookEnds – are used at the beginning and end of day Morning Book End: First thing in the morning, Angela uses daily Calm App, 10-15 minutes, to do a short meditation before doing anything else in the morning Evening Bookend: Gratitude Journaling about 4-5 things that she's grateful for, and a few things she did well In the middle of the day, Angela uses the tools of Park Bench. She sits down, breathes, thinks and appreciates Additional tools include being sure she is sleeping well, eating well, and using bookends and park bench Angela understands the true nature of who she is, and if she cares for herself emotionally and physically, she won't have to go back to where she was when she was using Russ Harris – ACT - Acceptance, Commitment Therapy is what helped Angela. Actions of confidence come first, feelings of confidence come later You need to practice it for a while before you actually begin to feel confident What are your values/strengths? Self-care is important. You need to do the work to show up in the world. Taking steps on a daily basis builds a sense of self-esteem and lets us know we can count on ourselves Some HSPs have a struggle with being sensitive to other people's opinions When the real you emerges, you can make decisions that honor who you are. Angela talks about feeling like her business was killing her; she was sad, stressed and was smoking. She was sensitive about other people's opinions, but she closed that business, which was what helped her move to the next level It's okay to design a business around your sensitivity—to play to your strengths You can use a strengths-finder quiz online to find your strength. Angela's is positivity. Angela tells others, "You can borrow my belief in you until you believe it yourself" Is your addiction costing you more than money? It is taking an emotional toll? Is it affecting your relationships? how often are you thinking about drinking? There's no shame in asking for help Abstinence is like having a tiger in a cage, that stays locked in the cage, but moderation in terms of addiction is like opening the cage every so often and letting the tiger out There are AA volunteers to help you There is also Smart Recovery, though Angela did not take that option. Once you decide, you can look into the "next chapter" – you recognize your values and strengths. Angela offers a confidence guide on her website She also has a quiz to figure out what type of inner critic you have: perfectionist, mean girl, imposter, etc. Finally, Angela's website has a guide to breakthrough those critical walls. Angela would tell her younger self that it's okay to feel things, and it's a superpower that gives you an opportunity for a deeper connection Angela is about to launch YourNextChapter.com and is publishing her book, Your Next Chapter. QUOTES "Shame needs secrecy to survive." "I felt like I was walking around without skin." "You keep getting the messages from the world that you're a bit strange, and that you don't fit; that does hurt." "I just turned 50, and it feels like life is just beginning. Turning this next chapter is exciting." "I'm no longer working on auto-pilot. Things are getting better and better since I stepped into recovery." "Life is so much brighter with emotional freedom." "You don't have to do your business by the book." GUEST BIO Angela Raspass is Business Mentor and Podcast Host who supports businesswomen craving more fulfilment in their life to confidently identify and turn their ideas and experience into unique, tangible and impactful business models. She wraps her clients in strategic and emotional support to ensure sustainable growth through masterminds, retreats and personal mentoring. Angela has been self-employed since 2003, having launched her own marketing consultancy at her dining room table with two small children underfoot after a corporate career in market, sponsorships and sales with News Limited. Ideas Into Action expanded into a Sydney office with a team of full time staff and clients in three states. In 2012, Angela decided to pivot into her own Next Chapter, moving from pure consulting to mentoring the rapidly growing audience of women-led solo and micro businesses. PODCAST HOST Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them in understanding their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online courses for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Angela's Links: Website - www.AngelaRaspass.com Facebook - www.Facebook.com/Angelaraspass Confidence Guide - www.AngelaRaspass.com/confidence Take the Quiz - www.AngelaRaspass.com/takethequiz Breakthrough Guide - www.AngelaRaspass.com/breakthroughguide Resources: Russ Harris – ACT - https://www.actmindfully.com.au/ Calm App - https://www.calm.com/ Brene Brown on Shame - https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/14/shame-v-guilt/ Tara Brach - https://www.tarabrach.com Alcoholics Anonymous – www.aa.org Smart Recovery, www.smartrecovery.org Patricia's Links: Website--http://www.unaplogeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com Editor & Show Notes: Cianna Reider – YourPodcastVA.weebly.com

Bonus Episode 56 TITLE I Wasn't Invited...Why? This Sucks!...Now What? GUEST Solo Episode EPISODE OVERVIEW It genuinely stings when we learn we weren't invited to something! This just happened to me, when I saw something posted on social media. What can we do to heal the parts of us that get triggered and feel hurt when this happens? We get to love the part of us that feels hurt. We can unpack our bags and live in the hurt, or we use this as an opportunity to evaluate the relationship, the activity we missed, and what we want in our lives. Are these our People? What are our values and how we show up in the world? HIGHLIGHTS It's going to sting when we find out we aren't included—that's a fact, and it's very normal to feel hurt, angry, disappointed when we learn that we weren't included As a Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP, we tend to be kind, loving, thoughtful human beings We don't know why we weren't included It's not really our business Are there things we're doing to hang on to the hurt or try and find out more about why we weren't included What are our values? Are these our people? Chances are, it will trigger past feelings of inadequacy and the tendency to make it about ourselves—this is usually an indication that the fit in the relationship is off When were are truly seen and heard, we have very little doubt about whether or not we fit. It just feels good and right How can we love the part of us that feels hurt Do we need to get extra support from a friend, therapist, mentor or coach if we're feeling stuck? We can process and give energy to the woundedness We're in it We're defending We're keeping the wound alive We can process and heal the woundness We evaluate the relationship We evaluate if we enjoy and benefit from the activity We evaluate our values and how we show up vs. how the other people show up Do you unfollow or unfriend the person (people) that are excluding you? What's the kind thing to do in order to surround yourself with love and support How will it be if you continue to see things you're not invited to on social media? People have a right to NOT include you People have a right to post on social media or talk about things you weren't invited to How can we learn to heal our wounds and allow others to do what they do? When we look at our relationships, are they reciprocal? Do we give/do more than the other person consistently? Are we the one who is always reaching out and making plans? Do we enjoy the same activities? Do we have the same values? How do we feel after being with the person? We get to choose what we have in our lives We can learn to work through these hurts so they don't over run the other things in our lives PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Online HSP Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/ Bonus Episode 54 Being an Educated and Informed HSP Allows You to Know Your Gifts; Know Your Limitations, and to Accept that This is How You're Wired https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/bonus-episode-54/

Bonus Episode 55 TITLE When Others Don't Communicate the Way You Do GUEST Solo Episode EPISODE OVERVIEW As a Highly Sensitive Person, we often expect others to be able to communicate the way we do. My son is having challenges with his 3 roommates, and it got me thinking about how Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) tend to show up in relationships, and what can we do in those relationships where the other person cannot see or own their part; they blame, and open communication is not possible. HIGHLIGHTS Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) often are able to communicate with honesty, openness and an ability to hear another person's perspective We are often surprised, angry and disappointed when we learn that others may not have the same capacity that we do How do we navigate this? If it's a relationship where we don't have as much freedom to choose (a boss, school, family relationships), can we put on a "game face" and hold the tender parts of our being back? Can we recognize that this is a limitation in the relationship? Sometimes we don't know the other person has a limitation until we have conflict or competing needs Sometimes we can work through this What are the deal breakers? PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Online HSP Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/ Welcome video for Online HSP Course--https://youtu.be/pGwwfbnuXfc To enter the raffle for the scholarship for the Online HSP Course, send an email to unapologeticallysensitive.com and put "HSP Course Raffle" in the subject line. A winner will be announced via e-mail on Monday September 16, 2017 Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Bonus Episode 54 TITLE Being an Educated and Informed HSP Allows You to Know Your Gifts; Know Your Limitations, and to Accept that this is How You're Wired GUEST Solo Episode EPISODE OVERVIEW The Highly Sensitive Person can have a number of struggles, AND it is possible to embrace our traits as an HSP; to feel comfortable in our skin; to know we think and feel deeply and to learn to shrug off things that aren't helpful. We often have a greater capacity than we think we do. When we know about our traits, we can advocate for ourselves and educate others. Being sensitive is an incredible strength! Enter to win free registration for the upcoming HSP Online Course for September 2019. QUOTES Being an educated and informed HSP means that you know your gifts; you know your limitations, and you accept that this is how you're wired With this Course, it was a very loving and secure environment that allowed you to be vulnerable. I realized I'm valid; that my needs and desires are valid and my boundaries are valid…people need to be ok with it, or they are just not going to be able to be in my life or interact with me in a major way. This is my strength. This is something that I have that others don't, and it lets me shine in situations. I'm able to overserve things and see things that other people don't see. HIGHLIGHTS The Highly Sensitive Person often experiences some of these things Difficulty calming our nervous system Being able to stand by what we say, and not be overrun with guilt or shame (boundaries) Thriving in a world with people who don't "get" us Trusting too quickly Getting attached too quickly Embracing our "weirdness" Getting tongue tied Comparing Having a difficult time letting things go Not taking things personally Ways to break patterns and make change Name the challenge It breaks the shame It creates room for healing and brings it out into the light Reframing our perceived weaknesses Picky becomes detail oriented or discriminating Embracing our traits Learning how our brains work We take in more information than non-HSPs, so our sense of reality may be different than others We may get nervous before new things, but there are ways we can manage We can use mindfulness to check in I've been struggling with how to communicate the benefits of the online courses PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Online HSP Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/ Welcome video for Online HSP Course--https://youtu.be/pGwwfbnuXfc To enter the raffle for the scholarship for the Online HSP Course, send an email to unapologeticallysensitive.com and put "HSP Course Raffle" in the subject line. A winner will be announced via e-mail on Monday September 16, 2017 Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE I Always Knew I Was Different with Melissa Schwartz GUEST Melissa Schwartz EPISODE OVERVIEW Melissa created the Sensitivity Summit--a free online summit for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs). She shares some of what she learned while recording the interviews for the summit. Melissa provides some tangible tools she uses so she doesn't absorb others' energy. She also talks about learning to regulate her emotions, and we talk about how sensitivity can look different in people. HIGHLIGHTS Melissa is creating a Sensitivity Summit, with over 30 experts on Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) on topics like adults, children, relationships with non-HSPs, and even wounding This event brings together a variety of experts and will provide great insight for HSPs, or those raising or living with an HSP Melissa always knew something was different about her, but she didn't realize she was Highly Sensitive at first She realized she was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) about 5 years ago She always thought and was told, that she was too reactive, too emotional, too intense, and too sensitive 70% of HSPs are introverts, and 30% are extroverts. Melissa identifies as an extrovert We discuss trauma, with a capital T and trauma with a lower case t and how they are different Some Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), hold on to trauma because they don't know how to process it Self-compassion is critical Melissa was born Highly Sensitive; according to her mother, she came out crying, colicky, and had her days and nights confused Instead of Highly Sensitive, Melissa prefers to call herself "deeply attuned" Melissa works on regulating her emotions. She's a spiritual seeker who looks for deeper meaning in life She found the work of Esther Hicks in her 20s, and learned more about what emotions mean; the intensity/scale of our emotions, and healthy ways to experience our emotions Melissa doesn't quite think Sensitivity is a superpower. When she was younger, she felt that people who were Non-HSPs had a superpower Now, Melissa believes that her empathic/intuitive abilities are her superpower. She can feel the emotional experience of others, and it helps her in her work Melissa uses mediation and visualization tools to help her We discuss her "loving armor," and how to keep yourself from absorbing other's energy when you are empathic Some tools to help when you're feeling overwhelmed include Going to the bathroom and splashing water on your face Taking cleansing breaths, and releasing that energy Visualizing yourself in a bubble of white energy or wearing a suit of armor to protect you If you can't stop the emotional absorption, it's okay to leave a situation, or bring your our own car so you can leave when you're ready It's all about self-care. Taking your own car is self-care, bringing snacks is self-care Melissa was told her reactions were too big, or her reactions were inappropriate and it was very hurtful to her Sensitivity doesn't look the same for everyone. It can show up in all different ways The Sensitivity Summit takes place on September 16th, and you can go to the SensitivitySummit.com to join in! QUOTES "I always knew something was different about me." "It was very overwhelming in my early years to tap into how other people were feeling, and then kind of be drowning in that experience." "I'll visualize myself in a bubble of white, crystalline energy." "I take my own car places. I like to leave when I've had enough. I like to have my own out." "When we're able to have self-compassion, and be in the moment, and learn to lean into what's going on, that ultimately leads into a sense of contentment." "Especially when we're talking about emotional regulation and energetic balance, it's not something that we achieve and stay there forever, it's something we achieve for a little bit of time, but it's even fluctuating." "People say, oh you're more sensitive or super sensitive. No, I'm Highly Sensitive. It's not too much, it's more than it is for you, but it's just right for me." GUEST BIO Melissa Schwartz was born an intense, sensitive, empathic, power seeker. Her intuitive ability to decode misbehavior and her passion for giving a voice to the legitimate needs of children naturally evolved into becoming the co-creator of Leading Edge Parenting, co-author of "Authentic Parenting Power" and author of forthcoming "Under the Hood: A Manual to Understand the Inner Workings of Children". She is an internationally acclaimed author, coach and public speaker bringing new perspective based on current research and personal experience to transform the field of high sensitivity. PODCAST HOST Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them in understanding their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online courses for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Melissa's Links: www.leadingedgeparenting.com www.facebook.com/highlysensitivechildren www.facebook.com/groups/highlysensitivechildren www.thesensitivitysummit.com The Sensitivity Summit-- www.thesensitivitysummit.com begins September 16, 2019 Resources: Introversion, Extroversion and the Highly Sensitive Person by Jaquelyn Strickland, LPC-- https://hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/ Books by the author Esther Hicks: https://amzn.to/2MvygTF Patricia's Links: Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/ E-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com Editor & Show Notes: Cianna Reider – YourPodcastVA.weebly.com

Bonus Episode 53 TITLE I Didn't Feel Seen and Heard, So I Sang the This Sucks Song! GUEST Solo Episode EPISODE OVERVIEW What do we do when we tell someone we're not feeling seen and heard, and it triggers one of their wounds, and they get defensive? Whose responsibility is it to meet our needs? How can we use mindfulness and curiosity when we are feeling hurt, disappointed and frustrated? Is it possible to sit with discomfort, AND feel gratitude and notice the things that ARE going right? And a special meetup for San Diego Folks September 7, 2019 with a free giveaway for one of the Online HSP Courses! HIGHLIGHTS When we are going through struggles, we tend to want to externalize—find things that are wrong on the outside, instead of going within to see where we need to focus on healing We might try to pick a fight with someone, or we find things that others are doing that we feel are wrong We can use mindfulness to get curious and try and observe without judgment what's going on Sometimes in relationships we need to sit with the discomfort to see if it's wounding that we need to work on Sometimes it's important to talk about what's going on in the relationship in order to have healing happen It can hurt, especially as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), when we don't feel seen and heard Sometimes this is about the present, but it's not uncommon for HSPs to have wounding around not feeling seen and heard because this was our experience when we were growing up If we have a REALLY BIG reaction to not feeling seen and heard, it may be an indication that it's about wounding from the past, and not the present When I have a 7 reaction to a situation that probably would be 4, there's a good chance my reaction is about my history, and not the current situation We often are skilled at figuring out what others need, and we are skilled at meeting their needs This is often how we get our sense of connecting, belonging and self-esteem Are we able to identify our own needs? Are we able to really show up for ourselves in the ways we show up for others? Becoming aware of these patterns and sitting with them, may cause some feelings of anxiety We need to learn how to provide reassurances to ourselves—it's ok to want it from others, and to get it from others, but ultimately, we need to be able to provide this to ourselves It's ok to depend on others It's ok to need others When we are processing things that are difficult, it can be harder to ask for what we want. We have a story in our head, and when we get vague feedback (or no feedback) from others, we may use that to validate the story in our head that says we don't matter; we're wrong, or whatever that story is When we're feeling stuck, there are ways to move energy either internally, with our bodies or in our home When we are in the midst of understanding something that's uncomfortable, we may tell ourselves that we're ruminating. Maybe we're just processing deeply because we want to understand, and we want to heal It's all about what we tell ourselves. We do better when we are kind to ourselves We make unconscious agreements with others like—I'm going to be here for you, and I expect you to be here for me This doesn't always work out We may feel we are doing this out of love or generosity, but when the other person doesn't reciprocate and we become really upset, it could be an indication that we had an unconscious agreement with them, and they broke the agreement If we are feeling resentment, that can be another indicator that the agreement was broken We may feel powerless, angry, frustrated and disappointed when these things happen. That's totally normal! How do we hear ourselves, so we feel heard and seen? You can make up an it sucks song to sing to yourself We may have fantasies about how we want the other person to hurt or to feel what we're feeling. This is normal. We don't have to act on it We can feel frustration, hurt and disappointment, AND also be experiencing things in life that work! We tend to focus on what's not working, and we miss the "both, and" When we can see what's not working and what is working (the both and), we can cultivate compassion and it gives us some distance and perspective We get to decide what is working for us We have choice; we have power We can be sad and disappointed that people aren't there for us, and we can find ways to soothe and be ok Sometimes things suck, so you get to make up your own it sucks song PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Online HSP Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/ San Diego Meetup—Saturday September 7, 2019 10 am – noon https://www.meetup.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-Meetup/events/264112525/ Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE The Five Superpowers of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) & High Sensation Seeking (HSS) GUEST Caroline Ferguson EPISODE OVERVIEW Caroline Ferguson, whose Tedx talk is titled Unlocking the Secret Power of Sensitivity at Work, says burnout in the workplace is likely to be 2x higher for HSPs. She talks about the importance of curiosity, creativity and compassion and how this relates to High Sensation Seeking (HSS). Carolyn talks about the many specific strengths of HSPs, but also talks about optimal career choices that meet the need for novelty and intensity. If you have a low threshold for boredom and like new exciting things, you may be an HSS. HIGHLIGHTS The 5 superpowers Ability to notice—highly tuned in/ability to process at great depth Rich creative imagination—daydreamers, creatives, solution providers Highly conscientious—connected/concerns about others with a little bit of perfectionism Empathy—noticing, observing, don't want to let others down, get the job done properly Intuition—noticing and spotting patterns at a level of detail, body language, tone of voice Caroline's superpowers—brainstorming, the use of words, language and stories Caroline likes the terms Highly Responsive and Finely-Tuned to describe a Highly Sensitive Person We need to learn to honor our feelings We may have a tendency to cry and have tender feelings Burnout in the workplace is likely to be 2x greater for HSPs compared to non-HSPs High Sensation Seeking (HSS)—30% of HSPs are also HSS, which is about 6-7% of the population Sensitive Upstarts—don't wait for permission and they create change Someone who is curious, seeking and creates change It is an evolutionary imperative They have curiosity and compassion Great jobs are project manager or life coach Curiosity is innate and hardwired to be fascinated by life around us We have been told curiosity killed the cat, or that we're nosy, and we've had the curiosity beaten out of us Curiosity is an amazing skill and it's the opposite of judgment—we're open; we want to know Curiosity increases compassion and acceptance With High Sensation Seeking (HSS), we are involved in certain things, then we stop and we move on to the next thing We can design a life, career and relationships that have novelty, and intensity and variety With High Sensation Seeking, we have a part that wants to dial down and a part that's seeking stimulation Creativity and curiosity are part of being a HSS HSS have a deep fascinations, passions and want to absorb everything HSS have a low boredom threshold, and want to get on to the next new, exciting and varied thing that comes up GUEST BIO Caroline Ferguson is a Mindset Trainer, cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist and the original 'Sensitive Upstart'. She loves showing sensitive, purposeful leaders who KNOW they were born for something more how to overcome their inner resistance, embody their potential and skyrocket their impact. PODCAST HOST Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them in understanding their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online courses for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Caroline's Links: www.CarolineFerguson.com Unlocking the Secret Power of Sensitivity at Work | Caroline Ferguson | TEDxDrapanosWomen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWSqAgg7HOo The gentle power of highly sensitive people | Elena Herdieckerhoff | TEDxIHEParis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi4JOlMSWjo On "Inner Sensation Seeking" http://www.hsperson.com/pages/3May10.htm The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People: How to Transform Feeling Overwhelmed and Frazzled to Empowered and Fulfilled by Mel Collins Patricia's Links: San Diego Meetup Saturday September 7, 2019 10 am – noon. Learn About The Highly Sensitive Person and Meet Other Sensitives https://www.meetup.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-Meetup/events/264112525/ Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/ E-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE Overall Struggles & Strengths Highly Sensitive Person (HSPs) GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC EPISODE OVERVIEW Jen and I talk about perfectionism, self-compassion, boundaries, self-care, HS superpowers, communication, vulnerability, authenticity, demystifying emotions, creating a lifestyle that honors the HSP, and mindfulness. These are some of the things that we notice Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) struggling with. Our primary intention is to give you an idea of what to expect in our upcoming online courses. Whether you are considering taking a group or not, this episode is a great way to identify your HS strengths and maybe see if there are areas you want to focus on. HIGHLIGHTS Jen explains why working with HSPs is a passion of hers We share our excitement about the groups and why we feel they are important I share the story of my first meeting with Jen Jen shares her initial impression upon our first meeting and the benefit that comes with creating a safe space to openly share our needs We discuss our goal of making the groups a safe space where productive communication can happen, and we create community Setting boundaries in relationships is not about changing the other person; it's creating a space for yourself by communicating your needs We discuss the plan for our upcoming groups to give you an idea of what to expect: Group culture / Expectations Creating community guidelines Creating and maintaining a safe environment Everyone is seen and heard Everyone is treated respectfully Everyone's goals for the group Getting to know each other Basic education about the trait Questions and discussion Building pride in HSP Applying the pride Recognizing this is a non-HSP world, and we get to assert our HSP traits/needs Identifying negative messages and turning them into superpowers Things we struggle with Too sensitive Too needy Need to get thicker skin Not social No fun, can't take a joke, no sense of humor Too picky Overthink things Worry too much Too nice Over responsible for everything Feeling fatally flawed, not good enough Mistfit–I'm the only one; There's no one like me Deep sense of not belonging and shame Outcomes Embracing our traits Identify and verbalize what traits resonate for us Feeling confident in what our needs are Naming our strengths Seeing comments as being about the other person Identifying when we get triggered, and having tools to manage Proper care and feeding of the HSP Skillfulness around boundaries Finding ways to live peacefully with non-HPSs and honor everyone's needs Self-care is non-negotiable! Things we struggle with People pleasing Putting others needs ahead of our own Feeling guilty when we take care of ourselves Feeling resentful when we meet other's needs and not our own Feeling drained Feeling depleted Feeling unappreciated Feeling overwhelmed Feeling irritable, negative, easily annoyed, less patient, more critical of self and others, intolerant Outcomes Becoming comfortable with self-centering It's ok to be the center of your universe You can't pour from an empty cup Self-care is an imperative–which is ultimately a selfless act When we take care of ourselves, everyone benefits in the long run (not always immediately, but the overall benefit is for everyone) Listening to what we need and want Trusting what we need and want Wanting to take care of ourselves Knowing that when we take care of ourselves, we have more to offer others Feeling out of balance (or at least aware) when we are ignoring our own needs Having richer deeper relationships because we are fulfilled and coming from a place where we have more to offer Boundaries are an imperative part of self-care Things we struggle with Feeling uncomfortable with conflict Feeling guilty–picking up on other's feelings that we might disappoint others (or they will get angry or frustrated) The guilt is not necessary (we haven't done anything wrong–we're supposed to set boundaries–it's healthy, and boundaries are a natural and necessary part of any healthy relationship) Guilt is the best word we have in the English language, but it's not really an accurate description Feeling not seen, not heard or not honored Not expressing our wants and needs Feeling resentful Feeling powerless Feeling taken advantage of Feeling like everyone else gets their needs met or what they want Outcomes Trusting our feelings Boundaries will directly reduce our overwhelm Learning how to set boundaries without emotion Boundaries make you a happy human; When we have an emotional flare, it's because a boundary has most likely been violated (or a need has not been met) Learning how to compassionately, but kindly state what is and is not acceptable Seeing boundaries as creating safety for ourselves and others Seeing the benefits of setting limits Owning our power and KNOWING that our wants and needs are perfectly acceptable and reasonable Developing flexibility–not about the rule, but about the relationship and the context Perfectionism Things we struggle with Feeling not good enough Comparing Feeling inadequate Not starting things, paralysis Not pursuing dreams Overworking/overdoing trying to get a sense of "enoughness" Constant unease Critical of self and others Perfectionism is a myth Imposter syndrome–if people really saw who I am, they would leave Brene Brown says Whenever you have perfectionism driving, shame is riding shotgun Hustling for your sense of worth "Doing" for a sense of value instead of knowing we have value because we live and breathe Outcomes Knowing done is better than perfect Busting shame Brene Brown–Our vulnerability is what actually connects us Sense of belonging and connection comes from allowing ourselves to be seen imperfectly That's where connection begins Living from our values–regardless of whether goals are met or not. It can be about the process and not the outcome More self-acceptance More ease in relationships because the standards are more realistic Learning how to set goals that are achievable More contentment More satisfaction Actually accomplishing more due to acceptance Communication, vulnerability, authenticity Things we struggle with Afraid to say what you're thinking Not trusting what you're thinking Fear of judgment, criticism, being ridiculed Feeling like your point of view is wrong or not popular Afraid to really show up in relationships and allow yourself to be fully seen Being afraid to upset someone Being afraid to stir up problems in the relationship Not trusting that ruptures are repairable, and this actually points at growth We grow in relationships after a rupture Ruptures are a natural part of attachment–it doesn't mean that there isn't attachment Outcomes Educate others about the trait Why we need the lights low, Less stimulation Quiet areas Model healthy communication, authenticity, vulnerability More depth, closeness and trust in relationships Marshall Rosenberg's non-violent communication All behavior is an attempt to get a need met Feelings and needs are never in conflict Strategies to get them met can be in conflict, and that requires creative problem-solving Life is figure out-able Creating a lifestyle that is HSP friendly and honors our HSP needs Things we struggle with Overwhelm Fatigue Resentment Feeling drained Overworking Living in a non-HSP world and trying to live like a non-HSP Outcomes Proper Care and Feeding of HSPs Getting enough rest, down time, quiet time Exercise Spirituality Just enough socializing Feeling a deeper sense of connection More meaning in your life Social justice work HSP style ~ having activist mentors Connecting with nature Learning how to do non-HSP events in manageable chunks Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Things we struggle with Overwhelmed and scattered Urge to numb out (TV, social media, Netflix) Outcomes Basic meditation instruction Formal and informal practices, moving meditation, guided meditation Learning how to curiously observe what comes up and to use it as information instead of reacting to things Self-acceptance More self-compassion and compassion for others Being more emotionally responsive vs emotionally reactive (Pause button) Meeting life on its terms instead of arm wrestling with it Demystifying emotions & Embracing our emotions Things we struggle with My emotions overwhelm me I can't control my emotions I'm emotionally reactive I'm embarrassed by my emotions Affect-phobia I don't want to feel my emotions, they won't go away My feelings will hurt me / others Outcomes Basic education about emotion theory Emotions can't hurt us Emotions are to be honored and felt Emotions are impermanent Emotions are not something we can control Creating safety to feel our emotions Emotions can inform our actions/behavior but do not need to drive our behavior Mindfulness Feelings come and go – just energy moving through us Deep sense of connection when we get comfortable having our feelings BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in helping highly sensitive people thrive in love, work, and parenting highly sensitive children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. She can be reached at jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com or 215-292-5056. Learn more at heartfulnessconsulting.com or facebook.com/Heartfulnessconsulting. PODCAST HOST Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them in understanding their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online courses for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more). LINKS Jen's Links Website--www.heartfulnessconsulting.comEmail--jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com Facebook--www.facebook.com/HeartfulnessConsulting Patricia's Links: Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/ E-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com