Unapologetically Sensitive

TITLE Boundaries--I Want To Be The One To Stop It Here   GUEST Sarah Buino, LCSW, CADC, RDDP, CDWF   EPISODE OVERVIEW   This episode is all about authenticity and vulnerability.  Sarah talks about being a wounded healer and why she chooses to tell the truth when someone asks her how she is.  Sarah talks about her resistance to the term Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP, and we examine this. We talk about NARM in therapy, and why Sarah believes in it.  Sarah talks about her decision to NOT have children, and we have an in-depth discussion about a boundary Sarah set with me, and how we both responded to this boundary.   HIGHLIGHTS Why it’s beneficial to be authentic when someone asks, “How are you?” Sarah talks about when feelings of not being worthy show up for her NARM—Neuro Affective Relational Model Sarah is doing her own work through the NARM model, and she has found it very effective It gets to developmental trauma that may be pre-verbal Epigenetics Trauma that happens in the womb can be passed from mother to child Non-verbal things in the environment can be passed on to children Sarah’s decision to not have children and why she made the decision Sarah talks about how she was impacted since her mother had her in order to have someone to love her The challenge of setting boundaries What fears come up for Sarah if she anticipates having to set a boundary What Sarah’s behavior may look like if she hasn’t set a boundary The benefits of setting boundaries The unexpected benefits when she has set boundaries Sarah talks about her resistance to identifying as an HSP We talk about the cultural connotation of sensitivity and how it can be perceived as a weakness We talk about alternative ways to describe what being an HSP means Highly Attuned Highly perceptive Highly responsive When Sarah and I first talked, she set a boundary with me, and we discuss how that impacted both of us We talk about how grief can be more complicated if you’ve had a challenging relationship with the deceased Sarah shares her experience of losing her parents—she had a difficult relationship with both of them, but has gotten some healing since their death We talk about therapists being vulnerable with their clients Sarah talks about what being a wounded healer means and how she uses this in her word I talk about Arianna Smith’s analogy of the bathtub when talking about overarousal and overstimulation and the HSP          BIO   Sarah Buino, LCSW, CADC, RDDP, CDWF is a speaker, teacher, therapist and the founder of Head/Heart Therapy, Inc. She holds a masters degree from Loyola University in Chicago and specializes in shame, trauma, and substance use disorders. Sarah integrates her knowledge of complementary healing modalities such as music, yoga, reiki, and the chakra system into her clinical practice to help clients enhance their authenticity. She’s also the host of a podcast Conversations With a Wounded Healer which examines the role of one’s own healing while being a care-giving professional.    PODCAST HOST   Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS   Sarah’s Links   Website-- https://headhearttherapy.com/ IG: @headhearttherapy FB: @headhearttherapy @woundedhealr Twitter: @HeadHeart_Chi @woundedhealr Podcast—Conversations with a Wounded Healer https://headhearttherapy.com/podcast/   Resources   NARM Therapy—Neuro Affective Relationship Model https://narmtraining.com/   Kristin Neff-- https://self-compassion.org/   Tim Desmond-- https://timdesmond.net/   Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari-- http://chasingthescream.com/   Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller     Patricia’s Links   Online HSP Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Pinterest-- https://www.pinterest.com/patriciayounglcsw/ e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE After learning she was an HSP from her therapist, Ranielle talks about what she got from the Online HSP group that she couldn’t get from therapy   GUEST Ranielle   EPISODE OVERVIEW Ranielle’s therapist introduced her the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person, but it wasn’t until Ranielle took the Online HSP Course that she began to actively practice embracing the traits of being an HSP. Ranielle shares what she was able to get from the Course that she couldn’t get in therapy (yet it was very compatible with therapy).  Even though her group was late in the evening, Ranielle talks about feeling restored every week because of what she received during group. Ranielle talks about her hesitation to spend money on the Course, and that it felt scary to join when she didn’t know anyone else in the group, and how it was going to be. Ranielle’s group is continuing to meet weekly online on their own.     HIGHLIGHTS Ranielle wanted support in making a major life transition The HSP Online Course helped Ranielle bridge the gap from making the decision through executing it Ranielle was able to talk out things that were going on in her head She had things reflected back to her She realized she wasn’t being difficult or crazy; it was part of an HSP process The information about her trait and the support from the group helped Ranielle feel confident in her decision Group members would see their traits show up in others, and they had so much compassion for the other person, which lead to self-compassion It felt nice to not feel alone due to feeling isolated since it felt like no one understood It was really validating to experience others who experienced similar things It eased the sense of being alone, and it felt great to find a group of others that have similar values Ranielle received negative messaging about her HSP traits and it was presented as a way that it was HER problem that needed fixing, and she didn’t know how to fix it Ranielle realized there was nothing to be fixed. She needed to be understood and known and she needed self-compassion Ranielle says she had felt broken in the past, and realized that wasn’t the case Ranielle learned how to nurture herself instead of beating herself down Ranielle’s therapist told her about being a Highly Sensitive Person Ranielle talks about being in therapy while taking the Online HSP Course Having a larger group of HSPs sharing their experiences created a different kind of mirroring and reflection Hearing about how other HSPs navigated through life provided something that Ranielle didn’t get in therapy Therapy and the Online HSP Course was very complimentary Being in a group of other HSPs who had no investment in making Ranielle feel better was validating. She heard what her therapist had said, but to hear it from others was very impactful There was a level of connected support in this group There wasn’t a common denominator (job, socioeconomic status, level of education, gender) to explain why the groups were so cohesive Ranielle felt more confident setting boundaries, asking for what she needs, and being more open and honest about her feelings, and being more willing to talk about challenges in relationships The Course opened up a new language for her Ranielle had resistance to spending money on the Course Being in a group of other HSPs created energy for Ranielle because this was a place where she felt restored Ranielle felt listened to, supported in the group—it’s a new level of self-care that’s worth trying If you’re on the fence about it, I’d encourage others to take the leap of faith and take it There is a money-back guarantee if you take the Course (please see specifics about this) Ranielle talks about how scary it was to join without knowing who would be in the group, or how it would go Just being in a group of other HSPs is enough to build a base to create an amazing experience After the first group, that feeling of fear about the structure and the unknown disappeared The group members seemed to be in tune with turn-taking and staying on track so no one felt talked over or that they didn’t get a chance to share The greatest thing about the Course was how much everyone was encouraged to take care of themselves (to miss a class, to not share, to eat, to turn off video, to observe—for the introverts) Introverts may need more time to process, and there was no pressure for anyone to share if they didn’t want to This Course is about figuring out what works for you, and to honor it You just have to show up as you, and not as someone else When we take a chance, things often work out much better than we anticipate Ranielle feels like a more enlightened HSP and feels ready to go out into the world   GUEST BIO Ranielle is a Pacific Northwest native, dedicated cat and dog guardian, and is becoming a more enlightened & empowered HSP. She and her dog, Calamity Jane, have been a Pet Partners therapy team since 2015, and participate in read-to-dog programs as well as high school, college, and workplace stress release clinics. After 20 years in the entertainment industry, Ranielle is whole-heartedly pursuing her passion for dogs by working in a doggy daycare with an eye to becoming a dog trainer and small business owner.   PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS   Patricia’s Links   HSP Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE Ways To Honor Our Needs Around the Holidays, & I Lost My Sh*t; It’s Not About The Gravy!   GUEST Solo Episode   EPISODE OVERVIEW How I’m simplifying Thanksgiving and consciously making changes so I don’t lose my sh*t again this Thanksgiving (and if I do, I’ll practice radical self-compassion).  How can we use mindfulness to create more peace during this holiday season? I talk about boundaries, and what can make it difficult to set boundaries.  I also talk about some of the challenges and benefits of having a practice for gratitude, and then there’s the famous replay from last Thanksgiving.     HIGHLIGHTS   Update about the changes I’m making for the holidays this year What I was concerned my family would think since we’re just having immediate family for Thanksgiving Update on my Mom’s health (after her health scare last year) How self-care and reducing stress allows us to be fully present for our loved ones (and most importantly, for ourselves) How I’m being impacted by consciously creating things that are workable for the holidays The challenges that come up with setting boundaries What we tend to imagine when we are getting ready to set boundaries The familiar known discomfort we often choose instead of risking an unknown discomfort if we set a boundary Boundaries are about the process of practicing them We often override our need to make ourselves a priority Are you willing to experience a new kind of discomfort? How we can use mindfulness to start to see what we want How to use radical self-compassion if we’re not ready to make those changes yet How we can practice gratitude and still honor our feelings   PODCAST HOST   Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS   Online HSP Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/   20+ Ways to Practically Manage Change and Loss Throughout the Holidays with Jill Johnson-Young--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/episode-47/   Creating Peace Throughout The Holidays with Sharon Martin, LCSW--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologetically-sensitive-episode-6/   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

TITLE A Therapist Talks About Her Anxiety After Taking the Online HSP Course   GUEST Maria—Licensed Therapist   EPISODE OVERVIEW Maria, a Licensed Therapist, talks about her experience with her anxiety after participating in the Online HSP Course. Maria has chosen to remain anonymous since she shares her mental health diagnoses and how it has impacted her, and how she has felt having this diagnosis. Maria shares some of the things she learned from taking the Course and how it impacted her.     PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), and is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

  TITLE 20+ Ways to Practically Manage Change & Loss Throughout The Holidays   GUEST Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW   EPISODE OVERVIEW Loss & change encompasses jobs, education, career, moving, illness, disability, relationships, pets, birth, adoption, coming out, learning you didn’t have an ideal childhood and the obvious, death. Jill provides concrete examples of how we can set boundaries, create new traditions, and so much more! Jill talks about the importance of keeping memories alive, and ways we can honor those we’ve lost (included our 4-legged family members), and she gives examples of how to help a partner talk about their losses.     HIGHLIGHTS During times of grief, stress, loss, change, etc. it is very likely that we will become MORE sensitive, and possibly reactive, and we may have a harder time managing. This is very normal, and it is to be expected. We need to have even more gentleness and self-compassion during these times Grief includes, losses, disenfranchised losses, hopes, dreams, change—it is so much more than just death   How to manage those losses: awareness of them at the holidays, and finally wrap up with death related loss     WHAT OTHER LOSSES ARE THERE AT THE HOLIDAYS? THESE WERE MENTIONED: ‘I think that the holidays bring out a lot of grief for everyone…’ SUBSTANCE ABUSE AT THE TABLE OR THE TREE The drunk relative that nobody wants to be around, The opioid epidemic Folks drinking to cope with anxiety of functions or the stress of holidays FAMILY ISSUES THAT SHOW UP RATHER THAN HALLMARK: when we feel more like we belong in the land of the lost toys, not by a fireplace waiting for Santa with our dog named Spot A dysfunctional family Grief when your family isn’t large like everybody else’s  Grief because you’ve chosen not to be a part of your immediate family because of the toxicity in it Grieving the family you THOUGHT you had... and about how to connect with them despite awareness of emotional neglect due to your high sensitivity. Feeling concerned with the upcoming holidays with the new awareness of how your family relates emotionally... it all suddenly feels so superficial. FINANCIAL STRESS AMPLIFIED BY THE HOLIDAYS Grief because you don’t have enough money for presents Grief because you don’t have enough food, Those issues can cause some of us to avoid holiday get togethers because we can’t afford them that might include employee events DISENFRANCHISED LOSSES: Those that have experienced recent breakups, and this is their first thanksgiving or Holiday without their partner.  Pets Moving Retiring Lost friendships Marriage Divorce Illness Disability especially recently Partner who is disabled or have cognitive issues   ONE THING I DO FOR GRIEVERS PRIOR TO THE HOLIDAYS IS PREPARE THEM FOR THE IMPACT: EXPECTATIONS- FALSE OR REAL OR SELF IMPOSED, INCLUDING NEEDING TO RECREATE WHAT WAS BEFORE A LOSS grief when everybody else posts the holiday party pictures, or you are looking at old social media posts- when things were different Shopping, advertising, holiday mailers - the temptation to overspend to make up for what is missing The belief that if you focus on the holidays and what it should provide, you will have some type of relief, but most of the time it doesn’t work  The belief that others don’t experience grief and you feel loneliness   EXPECTATIONS THAT YOU WILL FEEL HAPPY OR LIGHTER You might at times, but if you have had a recent loss or have an unresolved loss it will travel with you to holiday events The mix of joy and sadness is normal, but hard to manage unless you are ready for it, and you can balance your energy, and give yourself permission to not participate or to limit time spent out Practicing using the positive to create balance- plans for the year coming, remembering the good moments of past holidays or this season If you can hold the opposite of both emotions it affects how your brain reacts to it so a lot of times when we feel sad as a family then we try to balance it out by looking at what’s great or what we’re happy for… We find that helpful during the holidays. For HSP folks, one person suggested that being able to feel grief and joy at the same time neutralizes some of the wounding that has happened in the past.     DEATH RELATED LOSS AND HOLIDAYS Fear of death infringing on happy moments because we are aware of the potential of someone dying Managing grief from deaths at the holiday, deaths associated with that time of season by proximity deaths that happened recently.  Experiencing grief because you’ve lost someone in the past, especially if it is not a relationship you have finished Anticipating someone close to you dying—even if they are in good health The fear that you will be overwhelmed with their death The fear that you won’t be able to cope The fear that you will become so depressed, that you can’t get out of it We talk about carrying that person in our heart moving forward, and if possible having these conversations NOW while the person is still alive (if appropriate) We have all managed loss We have more tools that we remember we do We will feel sad, and we will manage We can get extra support, counseling, therapy, coaching, join groups   We all need death and dying education. It is necessary so we can know what we see, and that we can manage it when that time comes. We will all lose people we love to death-- that leaves only the option of being ready. That, in and of itself, helps ward off being caught unaware and thrown into depression. We know those who are ready and have reorganized before a death are the ones who will thrive afterward in their new life. Those who live a fear of death and will not prepare are the ones who do not fare well. SO WHAT DO WE DO TO GET READY? Plan ahead Don’t overspend Avoid stores if the input is too much, or too much of a reminder with a recent loss. You can order everything, including groceries, online. Don’t plan on every little activity. Limit them Limit time there Take your own car Look for an exit Don’t feel a need to explain GRIEF CARD TIME SET BOUNDARIES. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE GRIEVING, YOU GET TO SET THEM. PRACTICE WHAT YOU WILL SAY TO THOSE CROSSING BOUNDARIES GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO CHANGE IT UP! Take a vacation instead of doing what you traditionally do Invite new friends over Choose to celebrate on a different day, or someone new DON’T INCLUDE THOSE WHO DO NOT FEEL GOOD IN YOUR SPACE DO INCLUDE THOSE YOU HAVE LOST- PEOPLE, PETS IF THERE IS AN ANNIVERSARY AT THE HOLIDAYS? MARK IT PLAN AHEAD REMEMBER THERE IS MORE THAN THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS/HANUKKAH/KWANZA- NEW YEAR’S IS EVEN WORSE TV COVERAGE OF THOSE WHO DIED- BUT OUR SPECIAL PEOPLE AND PETS ARE NOT ON THAT LIST, ARE THEY? WRITE DOWN WHAT WORKS WHAT FELT GOOD WHAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO DIFFERENTLY. THAT MEANS JOURNAL DAILY. YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER GRATITUDE JOURNAL TO SET YOUR MINDFRAME EXERCISE AS YOU ARE ABLE SUNSHINE POSITIVE INPUT- EXAMPLE: MT RUBIDIOUX, NOT THE FESTIVAL IF YOU DO NOT WANT CROWDS, OR THE FESTIVAL LATE AT NIGHT WITH A FRIEND TO SEE THE LIGHTS, BUT NOT THE CROWDS.   Wolfenoot - It’s pronounced Wolf-a-noot according to Buzzfeed, and takes place on November 23rd. (If you wish to celebrate, you should be prepared for the Spirit of the Wolf to visit your home. This Spirit will hide and leave behind gifts for you, your children and, of course, dogs. The people who treat canines kindly get better presents than those who don’t, but this gift-giver doesn’t seem to penalize people who are just kind of indifferent to animals. We aren’t sure if the Spirit of the Wolf leaves presents for cats. On Wolfenoot, you will celebrate by eating roasted meats, because meat is a dog’s favorite food, and a cake decorated like a full moon because dogs like to howl sometimes.) (If you’re a vegetarian, or a vegan, you obviously adjust so that this fits with your values and beliefs)   It feels like a nice way to change the tone-- to be grateful and thank our furry friends in any way you choose. It was created by a child in New Zealand, around the concept of kindness.   For the holidays, coping with grief is about being Gumby. Bend, Flex, Change it up. Make it work for you. WAYS TO GENERATE CONVERSATION Is there someone you’ve had in your world that has died that you want to include in our blessing, or holiday tradition(s) Tell me about your pets? Tell me who they were What part of that person is always going to be a part of you? What lessons did you learn? Who were they for you? How did they impact your life? GUEST BIO Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW is a dynamic and engaging speaker who loves teaching both professional and community groups about dementia, death and dying, and grief and loss. She is the CEO of Central Counseling Services in Riverside, California, where she is also a clinical therapist. She is a certified Grief Recovery Facilitator after spending more than a decade with hospice as a medical social worker and as a director of social workers, chaplains and grief staff. She holds a BA from UC Riverside and her MSW from the University of South Florida. Jill has authored three children’s grief books and an adult grief workbook with more in process, and created Your Path Through Grief, a year-long, comprehensive grief support program which includes resources for therapists.   PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS   Jill’ Links   Website-- www.yourpaththroughgrief.com, https://www.facebook.com/grieftalker/ Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/Riversidedementiasupport/, LinkedIn--https://www.linkedin.com/in/jilljohnsonyoung/. My pet is sick: It’s time to say goodbye by Jill Johnson-Young Someone is sick: How do I say Goodbye? By Jill Johnson-Young Someone I love just died: What happens now? By Jill Johnson-Young Your own path through grief; A workbook for your journey to recovery by Jill Johnson-Young   Amazon link for Jill’s books-- https://www.amazon.com/Jill-A.-Johnson-Young-LCSW/e/B07NPT5NYQ%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share   Leo Buscaglia-- http://www.buscaglia.com/biography   Leo Buscaglia YouTube—How to Love and be Loved-- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8tw9ontdc0     Wolfenoot-- https://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=12136886     Patricia’s Links   Bonus Episode 21 : I lost my sh*t, and it’s not about the gravy https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologetically-sensitive-bonus-episode-21/   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE Dog Whisperer Liz Murdoch Talks to My Dog Gracie, Who Has a Message for the Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP   GUEST Liz Murdoch   EPISODE OVERVIEW Liz Murdoch, Dog Whisperer, and host of the podcast Talking With The Dogs, talks with my dog Gracie. Liz (and Gracie) help me understand some behaviors that have confused me. I had some expectations about what Gracie would say, and I needed time to process this interview.  Liz had some spot-on insights, and at the end of interview I share how this has impacted our family. I worry about how I will manage when Gracie eventually dies, and Gracie had a message for me about that, and Liz provides a reassuring perspective about dogs that have crossed over.     HIGHLIGHTS My expectations about what I thought Gracie would say, impacted this episode I talk about this a bit in the beginning, and more at the end of the episode Liz was able to communicate with animals when she was very young Liz talks about how she became involved in animal communication as she got older Liz has trained a dog when she was a child, and she won a blue ribbon amongst adults who were competing Liz had a car accident with resulting in a head injury, and she wanted train a therapy dog to help other people She was able to have her dog certified as a Therapy Dog with Pet Partners, which is not easy to do Liz only saw a picture of Gracie, and I held her up to camera on my laptop, but other than that, she had NO information about Gracie Liz talks to Gracie to find out what she likes Gracie communicates to me about her dog food (which is a special diet since she’s allergic to most foods) Gracie would like to talk about cats if she had a podcast, and Gracie LOVES cats, but they don’t know she wouldn’t harm a fly Gracie gives some information initially that we circle back to that has to do with how my grown son interacts with her (and she doesn’t like it) At the end of the interview, I talk about what has happened re: how my son now interacts with Gracie Liz identifies one of Gracie’s favorite things to play with Gracie tells Liz what she prefers in the home in terms of activity and movement Liz identifies that Gracie doesn’t see well and that it impacts her thinking (she also has seizures, and she’s blind—and only has one eye) Liz does a body scan on Gracie and finds something I believe she had, but the vet didn’t see it Liz talks about what she’s learned from dogs that have crossed over, and I was surprised (and relieved/pleased) to hear this Gracie had a message for me about my worry about her dying (and it’s a very mindful message) Liz mentions shampoo (the groomer just used a different shampoo, which led to a very expensive vet bill with antibiotics and all kinds of testing due to the reaction she had) I ask why Gracie doesn’t bark when she gets stuck somewhere or the door is closed, and her answer surprises me   GUEST BIO Liz Murdoch has been a true dog whisperer for most of her life. She first discovered this special skill when she was in kindergarten, and then further honed it throughout her life, winning awards in dog training and becoming certified to do animal assisted therapy with patients of all ages. A veteran volunteer with rescue organizations, Liz is happiest when translating what dogs and other animals want their people to know. She hosts the podcast, Talking with the dogs! and is available for private chat sessions, special events, and speaking engagements.     PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS Liz’s Links Twitter @talkingwithdogs FB https://www.facebook.com/talkingwiththedogsshow/ Instagram https://instagram.com/talkingwiththedogs Pinterest @withthedogs LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethmurdoch/     Patricia’s Links   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE It’s Just a Cookie—Health At Every Size (HAES)   GUEST Marielle Berg, MFT   EPISODE OVERVIEW Marielle Berg, MFT, host of the podcast It’s Just a Cookie, talks about fat phobic language, body shaming, weight stigma and the false belief that body size is an indicator of psychological and emotional health. Marielle talks about the challenges of healthism, and labeling foods as healthy/unhealthy, which can result in compensatory eating. Marielle talks about the importance of having satisfaction and pleasure when eating, and learning to ask, “What am I hungry for?” We also talk about joyful movement vs. exercise and why this shift can be transformational.     HIGHLIGHTS Our culture uses fat-phobic language We discuss body shaming The language we use—fat overweight or people in larger bodies Often body size is used as an indicator of psychological or emotional health 98% of people who lose weight gain it back; if it was just about the weight, this number wouldn’t be so high Gaining weight is not necessarily due to poor self-esteem or trauma If dieting worked, we’d be thin by now 12-step programs talk about eating as a spiritual problem Compensatory eating is a reaction to restricting foods Healthism talks about what is healthy or not healthy. Some foods are off limits which can lead to compensatory eating In the therapy world often a fat client is infantilized, and it is organized around need and intake There is a false belief that we are all meant to be thin It’s ok to get comfort from food—maybe that’s chicken soup or birthday cake. Either is acceptable We need to ditch the diet mentality We want to look at intuitive eating With food, we want permission, satisfaction and pleasure How hungry am I? What am I hungry for? Intuitive eating is a process We want to look at joyful movement vs. exercise If you’re interviewing a therapist or a nutritionist you want to ask Is it weight loss or weight management How do they feel about weight loss You want someone who has a weight neutral point of view You might want someone who is certified in intuitive eating   GUEST BIO Marielle Berg is a psychotherapist and a coach who works with people healing from eating disorders, disorder eating and body shame through a Health at Every Size and Intuitive Eating lens.     PODCAST HOST Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS Marielle’s Links   www.cookierevolution.org www.bayareadbtcc.com   Podcasts— Food Psych https://christyharrison.com/foodpsych Dieticians Unplugged https://dietitiansunplugged.libsyn.com/ It’s Just a Cookie https://cookierevolution.org/podcast/   https://benourished.org   https://www.intuitiveeating.org/     Books-- Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth about Your Weight by Linda Bacon   Fat Acceptance   Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating by Christy Harrison, MPH, RD   Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, and Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight by Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramore   Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch     Patricia’s Links   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE Ten Ways We Can Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP Special 1 Year Podcast Anniversary Episode   GUEST Solo Episode   EPISODE OVERVIEW On the One Year Anniversary of this podcast launching, I talk about 10 different ways that I have grown, and how this relates to being a Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP. I talk about perfectionism, being of service, naming things, asking for help & support, feeling the fear and being brave and courageous, authenticity, connecting, accepting challenges and living a fuller life. A special thank you to each and every listener!     HIGHLIGHTS Embracing imperfection Being of service Naming things Showing up when it’s hard in a way that honors our needs Asking for help and support Feeling fear and being brave and courageous anyways Expressing ourselves authentically and vulnerably Connecting Accepting challenges Living a fuller life   What I’ve learned in this past year podcasting When we have a message to share, it is more important to get it out there, then to wait until it’s perfect The world may never hear our message Done is better than perfect Naming things is one of the most powerful things we can do We let ourselves know that what’s going on is important It creates room for change It allows for acceptance Often just showing up is enough—even when we don’t feel like it If we’ve experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) or have parents who are Emotionally Immature, it may be harder to know that we’re supposed to need help Interdependence is healthy It’s ok to resist asking for help, and we can do it anyway We might be surprised by how much help we receive Feel the fear and do it anyway; this creates courage and being brave It can be scary allowing ourselves to be seen We may receive criticism or unsolicited feedback, but we may also get all kinds of amazing support We just need to show up and be ourselves; the people who are supposed to be in our lives will be attracted to us It’s normal to compare ourselves with others. We can notice, and refocus on what we have to offer 30 day podcasting challenge changed my life NadPodPoMO—National Podcast Post Month with Jennifer Navarrete This is how I discovered doing bonus episodes This podcast is heard in 87 countries The goal was to have 50K downloads by 10/29. On 10/25, there are over 60K downloads I’ve released 105 episodes Thank you to my husband, Steve Young, my mom Judy Winkler, Laura Carr, Jen Perry, Dara Hoffman-Fox and Selma Bacevac     PODCAST HOST Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS   Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Self-Test-- https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/   NadPodPoMo-- https://www.startupssanantonio.com/want-to-launch-a-podcast-napodpomo-founder-jennifer-navarrete-says-do-it/   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

TITLE The Traits of Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and What It Means To Be Fully Integrated   GUEST Jacquelyn Strickland, LPC   EPISODE OVERVIEW Jacquelyn Strickland co-created the HSP Gathering Retreats with Dr. Elaine Aron in 2000, and she has worked exclusively with HSPs since then. Jacquelyn talks about the 4 Core Characteristics of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and the differences between Highly Sensitive and non-Highly Sensitive introverts and extroverts, as well as the ambivert. Jaquelyn also talks about sensitivity as we age, and what it means to be fully integrated with a strong sense of self-identity as an HSP.     HIGHLIGHTS We discuss the term Highly Sensitive Person and Jacquelyn shares her thoughts about this name There are 1.4 Billion HSPs in the world and we all share these 4 core characteristics The 4 Core Characteristics of being a Highly Sensitive Person as coined by Dr. Elaine Aron D—Depth of Processing Elaine Aron feels that Depth of Processing is a key component for HSPs Depth of processing happens in the pre-frontal cortex, so HSPs see breadth and depth of things around us We reflect more than others on the way the world is going We think about the meaning of life We Wonder about the quality of relationships we’re in We’re aware of social justice issues O—Overarousal and Overstimulation That feeling of being stressed out Feeling burnt out This may be the most negative thing HSPs experience since our current dominant culture is about doing Chronic overstimulation can lead to depression and anxiety E—Emotional Responsiveness and Empathy We bring more emotional intensity and empathy in most every situation There’s a difference between emotional intensity and emotional reactivity We can honor our emotional intensity—this is where we express our feelings in the arts, writing beautiful poems, people who show or speak passionately about they feel We have more mirror neurons S—Sensitive to Subtleties We can notice when the barometric pressure is dropping Some HSPs may have perfect pitch We have more side effects to medications We are usually sensitive to changes in temperature We may notice the sound of a ticking clock or dripping water   70% of Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) are introverts 30% of Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) are extroverts There are 5 distinct groups we need to look at when talking about introversion and extroversion HS introvert HS extrovert Non-HS introvert Non-HS extrovert Ambivert Jacquelyn also talks about the Myer’s Briggs and what it means when scores on introversion or extroversion are high and low The concept of the battery being charged for extroverts and drained for introverts when they are around people is primarily talking about Non-HSPs A HS extrovert will enjoy being alone; will need time to recharge after extroverting, and will probably choose specific venues to socializing that are different than a Non-HS extrovert A HS extrovert needs to find the right amount of novel stimulation, to renew and recharge A HS extrovert may want to know who will be at the party (their political affiliation, what the activities will be; how long will the activity last) in order to see if it satisfies our HS needs As we get older, we may get more particular about where and how we choose to expend our energy and time We can be sensitive extroverts, or we can choose to introvert You can be a HS extrovert and still feel socially awkward or not always feel at ease in social situations Our depth of processing can make it challenging if we’re reading the room, or we may go home and wonder if we talked too much or did things right If you feel uncomfortable in a social situation, it helps to have a role—volunteer to help; arrive early before it gets crowded When we worry about doing things right or following the rules it can make it harder for us to trust that how we show up is just right I thought I had social anxiety, was anxious, was an introvert, so I avoided social situations and felt depressed and lethargic. Turns out, I’m a Highly Sensitive Extrovert, which is why I’m so passionate about providing information to others who may read memes around introversion and mistakenly identify The ambivert doesn’t have the DOES, but can choose whether to introvert or extrovert We want to be fully self-identified and integrated as HSPs regardless of whether we’re an introvert or extrovert Once we get fully integrated with a strong sense of self-identify, when we’ve healed our wounds, when we’ve reframed our past, when we’ve got a plan of knowing when and how to be out in the world, we don’t hide anymore. We talk about sensitivity and whether it increases as we age We discuss HSPs and social media We talk about the HSP retreats that Jacquelyn has been running and the benefits and unexpected gifts she’s seen people get from these retreats We talk about some of the things that are unrelated to being an HSP that are often posted in groups, and then people identify and things that are not related to being an HSP get mistakenly attributed to being an HSP Jacquelyn acknowledges Dr. Elaine Aron’s work and the fact that she’s opened the doors for many people (myself included) to specialize in working with The Highly Sensitive Person Thank you Dr. Elaine Aron!   GUEST BIO Jacquelyn has been a Licensed Professional Counselor since 1993, which is the same year she became certified to utilize the statistically valid & reliable Myers Briggs Personality Assessment.   Her professional and personal lives took synchronistic detour when she stumbled across Elaine Aron’s original work in May 1996 while waiting for a bus not far from where Elaine lives in Marin County, California.    Since that time, Jacquelyn has devoted herself to empowering sensitive people around the world.  She and Elaine co-created the HSP Gathering Retreats in 2001, and there have been 35 and counting HSP Gatherings, both nationally and internationally – in Canada, Germany, Sweden, United Kingdom, and on both U.S. coasts and in between.   She is an Advanced HSP Consultant , one  of 15 national & international HSP professionals trained by Elaine Aron in 2018 on the concept, measurement and research regarding of Sensory Processing Sensitivity and the highly sensitive person Besides Elaine Aron, major influences which have informed Jacquelyn’s work have been her background in Social Work, Women’s Studies, Brene Brown, Eco Psychology & her Nature as Teacher & Healer experiences.  She is fortunate to live in Colorado where she has been able to immerse herself in nature for days at a time over the last 30 years. She has recently added the title of Sage – and she teaches, mentors, and counsels not only with knowledge of our HSP trait, but also with decades of wisdom from living authentically as an HSP.  Elaine talks of this stage as the Priestly Advisor.     She has been married to a major introvert, non-HSP, since 1978 .  Her relationship with someone so different than me is what prompted my study of temperaments, including the Myers Briggs and the Enneagram.  She is the mother of two grown sons, one a  HSP, and the grandmother of 3 grandchildren, ages 4, 2 and 1.   Her oldest granddaughter is a sensitive extrovert, like her grandmother.        PODCAST HOST Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS Jacquelyn’s Links   Website-- LifeWorks! http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/ Stages of Cultural Awareness/Acceptance As An HSP--http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/HSP-Newsletter/stages-of-cultural-awareness-acceptance-as-an-hsp/   Top Ten Reasons to Have a HSP Dyad Parntership-- http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/HSP-Newsletter/top-ten-reasons-to-have-a-hsp-dyad-partnership/ Introversion, Extroversion and The Highly Sensitive Person--https://hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/ HSP Highlights & Insights Ezine: Sign up Here-- http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/HSP-Newsletter/   You can like the HSP Gathering Retreat Facebook Page here: http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/HSP-Newsletter/winter-2018-new-hsp-happenings-here-and-around-the-world/    The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron     Patricia’s Links   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review”     Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

TITLE Is It Social Anxiety, Introversion, Extroversion or The Traits of Being a Highly Sensitive Person, aka, HSP?   GUEST Solo Episode   EPISODE OVERVIEW Many Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) have experienced going into a social situation and getting overaroused and overstimulated.  When we don’t know about the trait of being an HSP, we just know it feels terrible, and we tend to avoid these situations.  When we know about the trait of High Sensitivity, we can see what works for us, and tease out what doesn’t work for us. We have the capacity to experience much more when we are able to understand exactly what we need in these situations.     HIGHLIGHTS Social Anxiety, introversion and the confusion with graphics/memes about introversion Anxiety, depression, social anxiety are real, and I’m not indicating that these are not real things that people struggle with I thought I had social anxiety and I thought I was an introvert Much of what is written about introversion (memes and graphics) also include the traits of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) When we mistakenly think we’re introverts, we may be missing out on things, that we are able to tolerate and might actually enjoy Once we understand why we struggle, and we learn to interpret the sensations we’re experiencing, we may realize that it’s not social anxiety or anxiety We feel things strongly, and we want to have meaningful connections We may have experienced overstimulation when we were younger, but didn’t realize what it was, and we paired it with the social situation, so we tend to avoid these things because we didn’t understand Misconception about introverts and extroverts with the analogy of the battery. This may be true to NON-HSPS When we read about introversion and it includes the traits of being an HSP, but it doesn’t say that, we may thing we need to avoid social situations, but it’s not what we need We may go into a social situation and be unable to connect, but we inaccurately think some is wrong with us, but it may be that we are trying to connect with someone who has difficulty with deep connection We may tell ourselves that we can’t connect because there’s something wrong with us, but we may be trying to connect with others who don’t connect easily With introversion, you want to look at the 4 Core Characteristics that Dr. Elaine Aron provides Depth of Processing We are deep thinkers and we don’t do well with chit chat or small talk Overarousal and Overstimulation We take in so much information that we can get saturated very quickly We notice things in the environment that others don’t We may need to be more mindful about how we use our energy when we go into social situations Emotional Responsiveness and Empathy We feel things deeply and we’re going to be more emotionally impacted than non-HSPs Sensitive to Subtleties We notice non-verbal cues and other things when we interact We can also be sensitive to bright lights, strong smells, loud noises Even a Highly Sensitive Extrovert will most likely prefer a more quiet environment with a few friends, and then will need time to regenerate mand recharge Highly Sensitive Extroverts need to find their sweet spot of getting enough stimulation. When we withdraw thinking that’s what we need, we may feel depressed or listless if we’re a HS extrovert We can manage in environments that are not HS friendly under the right circumstances It’s also not uncommon that as Highly Sensitive People, we may resist or not want to travel, but when we do, we find out we can manage much better than we think we can There are so many ways we can work with our traits to manage overwhelm and overstimulation It’s an ongoing process and we need to work on it, but we can live fuller lives When you see graphics about introversion, please check and see if they’re talking a Highly Sensitive person Jaquelyn Strickland talks about introverting and extroverting as a verb These labels can put us in a box and limit us, or can free us up and give us more freedom about our traits   PODCAST HOST Patricia Young works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).   LINKS   Introversion, Extroversion and the Highly Sensitive Person by Jaquelyn Strickland https://hsperson.com/introversion-extroversion-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com