Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Buki Mosaku is the author of “I Don’t Understand: Navigating Unconscious Bias in the Workplace”.  We discuss the inevitability of unconscious bias in the workplace and recognizing that it isn’t always a one-way street.  We talk about simple and complex unconscious bias: how to think about bias and concrete steps for each of us to take to address it. Most specifically: using the simple phrase, “I don’t understand?”, delivered as a question, to start a conversation about bias.You can learn more about his work and the book here: https://bukimosaku.com/. His bias navigation test is free and available here:https://navigatingbias.scoreapp.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

The well-known Golden Rule can fall short when applied in end-of-life situations. A research article makes the case for The Platinum Rule. The Platinum Rule: A New Standard for Person-Centered Care, by Harvey Max Chochinov, OC, PhD, MD, FRCPC : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9145569/ “The Platinum Rule, which would have us consider—doing unto patients as they would want done unto themselves—offers a standard that is more likely to result in treatment decisions that are consistent with patients' personal needs and objectives.”Those of us who are not medical professionals have our own opportunities here. First, tell your family what you want! Second, if we know that we are likely to be in the position to make decisions for someone, we can encourage them to help us know what they want and not leave us guessing, imagining, and assuming.  That position invites pressure, conflict, and guilt.  Third, if we do find ourselves in the position of making a decision for a loved one, we need to remember to go for the platinum, not the gold. And if we haven’t done our own advance planning and communicating, let’s get going asap.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

The general idea of The Golden Rule is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Less well-known, The Platinum Rule states you should treat others the way they would like to be treated. Taking a step beyond The Golden Rule to The Platinum Rule can help us to connect better with the other person, to step away from our natural and normal impulse to see everything through our own eyes, and to be more curious about the view the other person sees.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

I hope that listeners have enjoyed what they have heard this year. Here are a few favorites: “We reap what we sow”, Episode 256, published on November 22, 2023. https://bit.ly/3Gdp2X5. It was followed by Episode 257: “What seeds will you sow now?”, published on November 29, 2023.https://bit.ly/482bl9iJay Hughes was back to discuss a favorite topic. Episode 258: “Jay Hughes on the role of elders in flourishing families” was published on December 6, 2023.  https://bit.ly/3sZCniOYou can also hear our conversation on the James E. Hughes, Jr. Foundation website, where many excellent resources are available in a range of formats: https://jehjf.org/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Nick Rion is a personal and professional relationship coach. We talk about creating relationships intentionally, understanding what we want from a relationship. Nick’s framework of ten habits can help set up a relationship to be “conflict-ready”, able to handle disagreements that inevitably happen. You can learn more about Nick’s work and contact him through his website: https://www.nicolasrion.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

We can have the very best of intentions when we deeply desire the perfect answer. Most of the time, there is none.When we find ourselves with a problem to solve or a situation to deal with we can develop a laser focus, bent on discovering that perfect answer. The only solution. We can expend lots of time and energy searching endlessly and fruitlessly for it. Or we could simply put off making a decision that we actually know has no perfect answer, in the vain hope that one will simply appear. The challenge can crop up in all sorts of scenarios, from estate planning to succession planning, sharing a vacation home and many more. The perfect answer is often elusive.  Better to pick a choice, make a decision, reach a resolution that works, imperfectly, but well enough.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.

Jay Hughes, an expert in family dynamics, discusses the role of elders in flourishing families. Topics include identifying and nurturing potential elders, their impact on family well-being, and contrasting Western and Eastern conflict resolution approaches. The podcast also delves into valuing affinity over blood relations and establishing a foundation for family support.

Last time, I talked about seizing the opportunity to use an annual, or at least periodic, event to check in on ourselves. What seeds have we sown? What are we reaping? f you did check in, and you don’t like what you see, what seeds will you sow now?It would be good to think in terms of seeds: small things. Things that can grow, with attention, into bigger things. Not trying to plant a full oak tree, but an acorn with a seed inside. Start small and build.  Make a commitment to try to change. Start with listening with respect.  Without distraction. Without impatience. Without eye-rolls, or other dismissive reactions – in person, by video, phone, text, whatever. No special techniques, tools, or training required.  Just listen. With respect. A seed to sow for an improved harvest. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

When this episode publishes, it will be Thanksgiving Eve in the U.S. Let’s focus on the harvest perspective. We reap what we sow. Annual events – and those that happen more frequently but have a set occurrence – present an opportunity. We can check in on ourselves.  We can take a little time to stop and think about what we are doing all the time, routinely.What expectations have been set in our family about how we interact with each other? What have we sown?And now, what are we reaping? And how do we feel about it?We may find ourselves reaping with regret, suffering unnecessary family strife. Hurt feelings, painful silences, anxiety, anger. If so, we can start to sow differently. We can make changes to have a better harvest.Or we may reap with joy over our healthy and strong relationships. If so, we can appreciate that harvest. We can consider what we are doing right.  And continue to sow and nurture positive seeds in the future. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Vincent Valeri helps rising gen members of successful families to find their own way. As they determine what success means to them and how that relates to the broader family, they benefit from Vincent’s experience of having been part of his own family’s business as a young man.You can learn more about Vincent here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vincentvaleri/You can also reach him and learn more about his firm’s work here:  Vincent@cmgpartners.ca https://cmgpartners.ca/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.