Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Most podcasts don’t last as long as mine. Some recent statistics are available here: Podcastpage.io  https://bit.ly/3THcApJ. Why have I been publishing every week for five and a half years?!   I think it breaks down to three things.First, understanding conflict and helping people deal with it better is my passion -- and has been for decades. Second, the podcast gives me the opportunity to talk with amazing guests. Third, less modestly, I have been working as a conflict specialist, continually learning about conflict and communication, and thinking about it all for a long time …. And, well, I have a few insights of my own to share.       Here are three short episodes that have been particularly popular. First, Episode 6 “Conflict: the good, the bad, and the ugly.”  Published on February 6, 2019. 5 minutes.  Second, Episode 49: “Let it go”. Published on December 14, 2019. 5 minutes. Third, Episode 256: “We reap what we sow”. Published on November 22, 2023. 4 minutes.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Kristin Keffler joins me for this episode. Kristin is the author of The Myth of the Silver Spoon: Navigating Family Wealth & Creating an Impactful Life. We talk about Kristin’s personal, educational, and professional journeys – and how those threads come together to inform her writing and her work today, especially for Rising Gens in financially significant families.Kristin gives us a brief introduction to the discipline of positive psychology. And she shares a few words about the book she co-authored with James Grubman and Dennis T. Jaffee, Wealth 3.0: The Future of Family Wealth Advising. You can learn more about Kristin and her work on her LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristin-keffeler-msm-mapp-245a21/. Her books are available through Amazon and independent bookstores.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Last time, I talked about the alure of a common language. On the plus side, this shorthandsaves time. A common phrase conveys meaning quickly.When I use it, I demonstrate that I know the lingo of this group. We feel a sense of connection when we use our own group language. What could go wrong? A few things.  What if some people are brand new to a group and don’t know the lingo? Will they feel unwelcome? Not sure about speaking up and saying, “I don’t understand”? What if the obvious meaning was clear at one time but times have changed and it’s not so obvious now. Or it now feels a little offensive? And what about times when we would like to include those who aren’t part of the established group. Situations where a general phrase just doesn’t convey enough and each person speaking or listening fills in some understanding – and maybe quite different ones!The possibility of shorthand doing more harm than good is real. Best to be sure that using shorthand has more benefits than disadvantages.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Similar ideas expressed differently across groups/identities/fields of interest.  Words that are familiar and well-understood within a group. That common language. Shorthand. Lingo. Jargon, even.  Why do we do it? It saves time, that precious commodity. It can be a signifier: I understand the language of this group. And it reinforces our connection to each other within the group: this is the way that we talk.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Douglas Squirrel joins me to talk about the book he co-authored with Jeffrey Frederick, Agile Conversations: Transform Your Conversations, Transform Your Culture. And we discuss an atypical definition of trust, five types of conversations, and what he means by this phrase: “bust your coherence”. You can learn more about the work that Squirrel (as he likes to be known) does and find resources here: https://douglassquirrel.com/. You can learn more about the online community where tech and non-tech executives can learn together here:https://squirrelsquadron.com/. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

LARA is a communication and conflict resolution method.Listen: First listen with the intention of truly understanding what the person is saying. Affirm: Find something in what the person has said or implied that you share and affirm that. Respond: Directly address the concern that was voiced or the feeling behind it. Ask open-ended questions and then add new information, new perspective or personal experience.These links have some concise information about LARA. https://www.eatrightillinois.org/assets/Diversity/LARA%20Method.pdfhttps://www.fatherly.com/life/lara-communication-method-couples Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Usually, we hear about too much of a good thing. Of course, we might not all agree on whether something even is a good thing. Three separate ideas have cropped up recently about our needing more of something that I, at least, believe is a good thing.More of what we don’t prefer, more polite disagreement, and more benefit of the doubt.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Karen Valencic joins me to talk about Akido and conflict, power and force, and the new black belt edition of her book Spiral Impact: The Power to Get It Done with Grace. You can learn more about Karen and her work here: https://www.karenvalencic.com/.  Conflictmastery.com will take you to: https://www.karenvalencic.com/membership-site-optin. Find Karen’s profile here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenvalencic/ . Contact Karen directly here:  karen@spiralimpact.comDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Polarities represent an ongoing situation. They come in pairs. They are interdependent: you need them both, over time. Easy example: inhale and exhale.  Harder: when two people see things differently and each one strongly prefers the pole opposite to the one the other person prefers. We can have a natural – initial – tendency to resist seeing polarities where they exist. When we embrace polarities – even if grudgingly at first – we can make real progress. Recognizing that both poles have benefits andthat consistently tipping too far toward either one leads to negative consequences.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Paraphrasing my most recent guest, Cathy Carroll:  coaches work to have all the right questions, not all the right answers.   But when this particular challenge is part of an ongoing relationship, it’s wise to focus on questions before jumping to answers. Asking yourself,what really matters here? What are my interests? My priorities? Is this issue deeply important to me?   We often hear about the value of curiosity. Ask the other person. What are their ideas about this situation and how best to deal with it? Their priorities?Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.