Have you ever had a romantic encounter at work? Dan and Alison discuss the minefield of workplace romances with biological anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and the Kinsey Institute. They answer your questions on how to ask somebody out at work, how a one-night stand with a colleague can affect your career, and how to manage the politics and (mis)perceptions of co-worker relationships. Send in your questions about workplace dilemmas by emailing Dan and Alison at dearhbr@hbr.org. From Alison and Dan’s reading list: Slate: The Upside of Office Flirtation? by Allison Benedikt — “The difference between John being my husband and my harasser cannot just be that it worked out. Careers should end when someone tries, and is rebuffed, and does not heed that rebuffing. Careers should not end just because someone tried.” International Journal of Management Reviews: Romantic Relationships at Work: Why Love Can Hurt by Fiona Wilson — “The vast majority of the research is based in the US, and more research is needed in a variety of countries and cultures in which workplace romance occurs, in order to look more deeply at the influence of culture in organizational romance.” Book: The Anatomy of Love by Helen Fisher — “At work, one’s partner or spouse is nowhere visible, except perhaps as a photo on a desk. Office mates often share the same schedules, deadlines and anxieties, even the same mealtime, food and dress code. And men and women in close proximity tend to flirt. Not surprisingly, some 38% of American men and 36% of American women have dated someone in the office. Some of these office romances turn into happy marriages, of course. But the office is a petri dish for sexual affairs — which can topple family life.”

What should you do when you become the boss? Co-hosts Alison Beard and Dan McGinn answer your questions with the help of Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks, an expert on behavioral insights. They talk through what to do when your direct reports are older than you, how to be a likeable leader, and what to say if you’re not ready to be in charge. Send in your questions about workplace dilemmas by emailing Dan and Alison at dearhbr@hbr.org. From Alison and Dan’s reading list: HBR: Becoming the Boss by Linda A. Hill — “After a few painful experiences, new managers come to the unsettling realization that the source of their power is, according to one, ‘everything but’ formal authority.” HBR: The Authenticity Paradox by Herminia Ibarra — “The only way we grow as leaders is by stretching the limits of who we are—doing new things that make us uncomfortable but that teach us through direct experience who we want to become. Such growth doesn’t require a radical personality makeover.” HBR: Connect, Then Lead by Amy J.C. Cuddy, Matthew Kohut, and John Neffinger— “The strategies we suggest may seem awkward at first, but they will soon create a positive feedback loop. Being calm and confident creates space to be warm, open, and appreciative, to choose to act in ways that reflect and express your values and priorities.” HBR: What If You Don’t Want to Be a Manager? by Anne Kreamer — “When I made my leap, I discovered that while there are countless books and courses about how to be a better manager, there are pretty much no roadmaps for how to keep succeeding if you decide you don’t want to manage others.”

The advice show for workplace dilemmas. We take your questions and offer a better way forward.