Have you ever had a romantic encounter at work? Dan and Alison discuss the minefield of workplace romances with biological anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and the Kinsey Institute. They answer your questions on how to ask somebody out at work, how a one-night stand with a colleague can affect your career, and how to manage the politics and (mis)perceptions of co-worker relationships.
Send in your questions about workplace dilemmas by emailing Dan and Alison at dearhbr@hbr.org.
From Alison and Dan’s reading list:
Slate: The Upside of Office Flirtation? by Allison Benedikt — “The difference between John being my husband and my harasser cannot just be that it worked out. Careers should end when someone tries, and is rebuffed, and does not heed that rebuffing. Careers should not end just because someone tried.”
International Journal of Management Reviews: Romantic Relationships at Work: Why Love Can Hurt by Fiona Wilson — “The vast majority of the research is based in the US, and more research is needed in a variety of countries and cultures in which workplace romance occurs, in order to look more deeply at the influence of culture in organizational romance.”
Book: The Anatomy of Love by Helen Fisher — “At work, one’s partner or spouse is nowhere visible, except perhaps as a photo on a desk. Office mates often share the same schedules, deadlines and anxieties, even the same mealtime, food and dress code. And men and women in close proximity tend to flirt. Not surprisingly, some 38% of American men and 36% of American women have dated someone in the office. Some of these office romances turn into happy marriages, of course. But the office is a petri dish for sexual affairs — which can topple family life.”