Lessons from a Quitter

This week on the podcast, I’m answering your questions! As you may know, I have a button on my website that lets you leave me a voice message--any burning question you have, any topic I haven’t yet covered-- you can record it right there and I'll answer it on the podcast. Today's episode is our first listener Q&A! I’m taking a few of the questions that I haven't answered on the podcast yet and diving in!  If you like this episode and want to hear more or you have your own question you want me to answer, go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/podcast and leave me a message!

This week I want to talk to you about my six month group coaching program, Pave Your Path. I’ll tell you all about the program - who it’s best for, who it’s not best for, all the things. I’ll also answer some of the commonly asked questions I get during each launch. Doors are currently open now through Friday, March 18th. Join me, I’d love to have you! Sign up at lessonsfromaquitter.com/paveyourpath

This week on the podcast, I have my former student, Cynthia. Before joining the program, Cynthia had been working at the same company for five years, was over-worked and stressed all the time. She worked nights and weekends and was missing out on time with her family. Right before the program began, Cynthia’s mother suddenly passed away and she was scared to email her boss to ask for time off. That was the breaking point for her and she knew she couldn’t stay stuck in this job anymore. Cynthia is now working a part-time job she loves, she has a four-day weekend every week and enrolled in a course to widen her skill set. But more than that, Cynthia’s mindset has totally changed and it’s so incredible to listen to her story.

This week on the podcast, I have my former student, Lisa McFadden. From a young age, Lisa knew she wanted to be a writer but let other people talk her into a more stable career path. Burnt out and at her wits’ end, she was absolutely miserable when she signed up for my 6 month program. During the program, Lisa had a major a-ha moment that changed her life completely. Since finishing the program, she has resigned from her corporate job, moved states and started her own coaching business helping writers overcome writer’s block and develop their own process. Most importantly, she’s overcome her own writer’s block and is able to make a living doing what she loves. Lisa claims my 6 month program changed her life, listen to the episode to find out how. Find Lisa here: Instagram: @TheWritersMindset Facebook: Lisa McFadden Website: Lisa McFadden Film

The root cause of all of your problems is a lack of self-validation. Let me explain… This isn’t some self-love, woo-woo kind of thing.  I want you to think about every one of your maladaptive behaviors:  People-pleasing - needing other people to be happy with you so that you can feel good about yourself  Perfectionism- needing everything to be perfect so that you can believe you’re good enough  High-achiever- needing to keep achieving milestones to feel like you’re worthy  Obsessing over what other people think of you - needing other people’s approval so you can believe you’re good. Imposter syndrome- insisting on believing you’re not good enough when all of your achievements prove otherwise And on and on.  Every. Single. One comes from your inability to validate yourself.

This week I want to talk to you about procrastination. I have so many people telling me I want to do this thing but I can’t get myself motivated to do it. What I’ve found is that procrastination is not a time management issue, but an emotional management issue. This week I dig into why we procrastinate and how to start overcoming it.

Anxiety seems to be more present in our modern lives than ever before. But I think that is partly due to the fact that we fundamentally misunderstand anxiety, which prevents us from reducing it. In this week's episode, I break down what anxiety actually is and what steps to take to help you manage it.

This week I want to talk to you about finding your purpose. Most of us have this notion that there is one purpose to our lives and we should be deeply fulfilled and if we’re not, then something is wrong. So we go out and try to find our purpose, but how do you even know if you’ve found it? This week, I explain the problem in finding your purpose and offer my thoughts on how to reframe this major issue.

This week, we’re talking about self-trust. This is the foundation of where our self-confidence comes from. And, yet, along the way, we adopted the false belief that we can't trust ourselves. So we run around asking everyone else to make decisions for us, hoping they have the answer. Because if it doesn't work, now we have someone else to blame. I don't have to tell you that is a terrible plan. And it only comes from a lack of self-trust. So this week, we're diving into how we build up that self-trust again and put an end to the blame/shame cycle.

One of the biggest misconceptions about quitting is that you can only do it if you’re miserable.  After all, if it’s not terrible, why leave?  Don’t be ungrateful. Other people would kill for this job. Don’t risk all of the uncertainty, regret, and judgment. Suck it up.  And if these are the thoughts you’re operating under, you’re going to sabotage your own life in an attempt to have an “excuse” to quit.  You’ll start focusing on all the terrible things about your situation.  You’ll complain about it non-stop to your co-workers, spouse, friends…hell, anyone who will listen. You’ll refuse to find ways to be happy exactly where you are.   You’ll start snowballing everything that is wrong in order to justify leaving.  Here’s the truth: You don’t need any justification.  You get to quit just because you want to.  Even if everything is ok. Because you want growth.  Because you want new adventures.  Because you want to try something else.  In fact, that is the BEST place to quit from. Because you’re not doing it out of desperation.  Because you know you could be happy either way. Because you’re not waiting for some new circumstance to make you happy (spoiler alert: it never will long term)  So if you’re putting off your own happiness because of the hope of changing your situation, stop.  Make yourself happy exactly where you are. And then decide to quit because you want to.  This week on the podcast I go more in-depth about how to view quitting so you can still be happy where you are.