Lessons from a Quitter

This week, I’m replaying an episode I did in 2019 with Dave Hollis. Unfortunately, Dave unexpectedly passed away last month from heart failure. I wanted to replay this episode as a tribute to him. But, more importantly, I wanted to replay it because there is so much we can learn from Dave and how he lived his life.  In this episode, I dive into what I learned from Dave during our brief interaction on the podcast, how focusing on the fact that life is short can help drive you towards the life you want, and why tragedies like this really put into focus how little it matters what other people think about you and your choices. 

This week, I’m sharing a podcast that I LOVE and had the pleasure of being a guest on: The Get Paid Podcast with Claire Pelletreau.  Claire has a way of asking all of the questions we want to know but are usually afraid to ask: How much money do you make? What do you spend it on? How did you get here (literally step by step)? If you want to hear my entire journey and get the juicy details of every step, make sure to check out this episode.  

One of the biggest lies we love to believe is that it’s “easier” to just stay where we are. It’s easier to not go after those dreams. But it’s not easier, it’s just more familiar. And that familiarity leads to resentment, bitterness, hopelessness, despair, and dread. It’s not easier living like that. So if you’re not going to go after your dreams, at least stop lying to yourself by saying that it’s easier this way. This week, we dive into this topic and how we can start seeing the price we pay for staying in that comfort zone. 

Studies have shown the most important factor for reaching your goals isn’t more motivation or willpower. It is being surrounded with people that will hold you accountable and support you. You already know you’re more likely to give up on your goals if you’re the only one who knows about it. On this week’s podcast, I talk about how being in communities that supported me through this journey of career change is the only reason I have the business I have today and how you can start finding your community too.

One of the main principles I try to live by and teach my students is to focus on one thing Focus on one goal for the year. Focus on one area to improve. Focus on one limiting belief.  Just slow down and take as much time as it takes to get the result you want in that ONE area and then move onto the next thing. But most people push against this because we’ve been conditioned to believe we need to change it ALL…and FAST. So we set a ton of goals, tell ourselves we’re behind, and scramble because we think there isn’t enough time.  But we all know what happens. We get overwhelmed and give up. The irony is that if you slow down to work on one thing until you’ve mastered it, you actually start solving your problems.  That’s exactly what Betty Dao did. She was in my program Pave Your Path and she took my advice to focus on just ONE thing. She got to work on that. She even stopped coming to the coaching calls because she didn’t want to be influenced to work on other things and she changed her life! She’s on the podcast today to talk about her journey.  

Here’s why self-love is CRITICAL.  You think your problem is: People pleasing  Perfectionism  Caring too much about what other people need  Overachieving  Imposter syndrome  But the root of all of those is a lack of self-love. And this isn’t in some woo-woo “all we need is love” kind of thing. I’ve coached thousands of people and the root of almost every problem is some underlying belief of: I’m not good enough.    It’s a worth issue. Think about it.  That’s why we so desperately need other people to approve of or like us.  That’s why we try so hard to be perfect.  That’s why we keep checking off all the boxes society tells us to in order to be “good enough”.  They’re all defense mechanisms.  Because we’re terrified that somehow our deepest insecurity might be true…that maybe we’re really not good enough in some way.  And so we hustle…we perform…we give and give… But no amount of other people’s love or accomplishments or perfection will ever outrun that thought.  If it would, you would’ve done it by now. It only changes when we decide to change our own thoughts about ourselves.  It’s available to you right now. No need to do or be anything else.  And it’s one of the most important skills to cultivate.  On today’s podcast episode, I dive deeper into why self-love is critical.  

My friend, Scarlett Cochran, is back on the podcast today to talk about how to think about your money in a way that lets you create the rich life you want today.  If you didn’t catch Scarlett’s first episode on the podcast where she talked about her incredibly inspiring story (she went from single teen mom in the military making $25k a year to putting herself through Yale Law School to becoming a Banking and Consumer Finance Attorney to growing her platform One Big Happy Life to multiple six figures as a side hustle) make sure to check it out here. But after coaching thousands of people on how to build wealth, Scarlett started seeing a pattern: People were living by other people’s money rules…even if it made their lives miserable.  So she set out to change that.  She wrote her first book, It’s Not About the Money, to change how people approach their money. The book gives a simple system for understanding and managing your money in a way that feels good to YOU so you can create the life you want to live TODAY and every day after that.  And she’s on the podcast to talk about it with us today.  Make sure to snag her book and follow her here:  Book - https://onebighappylife.com/book  Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@OneBigHappyLife  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onebighappylife/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onebighappylife/

Everyone focuses on teaching you how to set goals. But what happens after you set it? We all know that the hard part comes from following through. Most of know what we want to do but we just feel like we can't get ourselves to do it. On today's podcast, I'll teach you why that's a myth (you really can follow through) and how to start doing it. 

One of the main issues I see with people who give up on their goals is that they’re setting too many.  You get 1 goal per year. That’s it. No exceptions.  On today's episode I explain how picking one goal can  help you skip overwhelm  give you a filter to make decisions  and get you to be nicer to yourself It's the difference between hitting your goals and giving up. 

Your self-concept is the thoughts you have about yourself. And it dictates everything.  Whatever you believe is possible, or not, for you is based on your self-concept. Every goal you set is an attempt to change your self-concept. Meaning, you hope to achieve the goal to change how you view yourself. But the biggest life-hack is knowing that you can change your self-concept without having to achieve those goals first. In fact, learning to change your self-concept can help you achieve your goals faster. On today’s episode, I’m sharing how I’ve changed my self-concept and how you can too