Stuck Not Broken

We talk in depth about why it's not necessarily helpful to ask "why" to someone you're listening to.  We also talk about eyes and eyebrows when it comes to communication and what you may be signaling.  PLUS we talk about the fact that you don't need to listen to someone if you aren't ready.  Maybe it's best to wait until you're in your safe/social state! Great episode for friends, family and therapists. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Recommended reading - https://www.justinlmft.com/books Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

If you need even more Polyvagal Podcast content, we got it for you! https://www.justinlmft.com/members Contact either of us at - https://www.justinlmft.com/contact  

You really try to understand me, even if I’m not making much sense. You grasp my point of view, even when it’s against your own sincere convictions. You realize the hour I took from you has left you a bit tired and a bit drained. You allow me the dignity of making my own decisions, even though you think they may be wrong. You do not take my problem from me but allow me to deal with it in my own way. You hold back the desire to give me good advice. You do not offer me religious solace when I am not ready for it. You give me enough room to discover for myself what is really going on. You accept my gratitude by telling me how good it makes you feel to know that you have been helpful. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

We look back on the 4 ways to express love that your child will experience as love and apply it to teens. Yes, they need your love too! the 4 Ways to Express Love episode - https://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode27 More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

7 ways that you are not listening: You say you understand. You say you have an answer before you've heard the problem. You cut someone off before they finish speaking. You finish someone's sentences. You're dying to tell me something while I am talking. You share your experiences instead. You refuse my thanks. Your homework assignments -  Notice when you are not listening. Accept gratitude. Connect with Harry Poliak, Life Coach - http://www.connectedconsciously.com/ Parents by Choice presentation is available to watch here - https://www.justinlmft.com/parentsbychoice Even more Polyvagal Podcast content in the Members Section for $5 a month - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

Watch the “Safe & Social” music video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql2TGMRDh7k&feature=youtu.be   Miles Irving Website - https://www.milesirving.com/   Forager - https://www.forager.org.uk/wild-food-blog/19-ideas-philosophy/140-worldwild-podcast   More Polyvagal Podcast content in the Members' Area - https://www.justinlmft.com/members   Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

All about consequences in this episode: Why they are important When they mean nothing Positive consequences vs gift/reward/bribe Natural consequences Your homework assignment - Plan out your consequence structure and discuss with everyone that needs to be a part of it. More detailed show notes on justinlmft.com/post/episode28 SUPPORT the Polyvagal Podcast and get access to exclusive BONUS EPISODES - http://www.justinlmft.com/members CONTACT either of us - http://www.justinlmft.com/contact Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeat --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message

Deb Dana - one third of my Polyvagal Trinity.  Deb Dana is called "the Pied Piper of the Polyvagal Theory," and honestly someone I want to be like when I grow up.  She does the stuff I do, but better and first.  I gotta be honest.  We talk in depth about: "Story follows State" Climbing the Polyvagal Ladder Diagnosing DEB DANA - http://www.debdanalcsw.com/ (these next two links will take you to Amazon, where I get a portion of the sale as an Amazon Affiliate.) The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy - https://amzn.to/3409v8z Clinical Applications of the Polyvagal Theory - https://amzn.to/322IZK3 Intro/Outro music by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message

You're not you're diagnosis.  It's a label - a shorthand system for professionals to use - to collect "symptoms" that typically occur together.  It makes communication among therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists easier.  And that's the point of diagnoses.  And insurance building. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message

We go in depth into each of these four ways to express love.  It's not enough to just love your kiddos, you also need to express it.  And express it in ways they will be able to get. 1. Say it out loud 2. Write it down 3. Physical affection 4. Play DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode27 JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum CONTACT either of us at http://www.justinlmft.com/contact Music & Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message