Stuck Not Broken

Is nervous system regulation a natural skill or a conscious effort? In this episode, we delve into the skill of pendulation—the mindful shift between safety and defense—and explore why it appears effortless for some but feels impossible for others.Discover the "carnival game" analogy for understanding your nervous system's capacity, learn how natural pendulation occurs in processes like grieving, and understand where you might fall on the spectrum of "stuckness." Justin breaks down how anyone, from those just "getting by" to those feeling deeply stuck, can learn to practice pendulation and transform it from a deliberate exercise into an automatic, embodied skill for living with more calm, confidence, and connection.Resources:🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Have you ever left a therapy session feeling completely wiped out, as if you've run a marathon you didn't train for? It's a common experience, but it isn't the goal of effective therapy. That feeling of depletion is a critical signal from your body that you've been pushed beyond your nervous system's capacity.In this episode, we explore a body-centric, Polyvagal-informed approach to therapy that builds resilience instead of burning you out. You'll learn how to work with your therapist to anchor in your safety state, mindfully "tiptoe" to the edge of discomfort, and safely return—a process that empowers you and grows your capacity over time. This is about building internal resources, not just surviving the session.If you're ready to change your expectation of therapy from draining to empowering, this episode is for you.Resources:🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Justin Sunseri challenges the widely accepted (and often ineffective) ways we understand and manage our emotions. He makes a bold claim: the common wisdom you've been taught about your feelings is likely wrong. Drawing from client conversations and his expertise as a therapist and coach, Justin reveals the two core problems with traditional emotional management and the five common avoidance tactics we all use. Get ready to discover a "weird but effective" body-based approach that offers a sustainable path to emotional regulation, moving beyond just changing thoughts or behaviors. Learn practical steps to connect with your body's safety state and begin transforming your emotional experience today.Key Takeaways:Most conventional approaches to understanding and managing emotions are flawed.Identify the five common ways you might be avoiding your emotions (resisting, ignoring, behavioral adaptations, intellectualizing, seeking external validation).Understand why changing thoughts or behaviors alone provides only temporary relief.Learn that emotions are primarily bodily experiences, not just mental states.Discover how to change your emotional state by intentionally connecting with your body.Get two actionable steps to start building your body's safety state right now.Resources:🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Unlock a deeper understanding of shame, anger, and the polyvagal theory in this episode! Justin Sunseri answers a listener’s question about navigating difficult emotions, pendulation, and the importance of safety in healing. Whether you’re a therapist, student, or someone seeking personal growth, this conversation offers practical insights and guidance.⏰ CHAPTERS:00:00 Introduction and Question from Katie04:10 Therapists' Perspective vs Client Reality08:27 Understanding Anger, Shame and Pendulation12:29 Safety First Approach16:40 The Unstucking Pathway and AcademyResources:🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

A viewer asked about TRE exercises that seemed to help with anxiety but left them feeling numb and disconnected. In this episode, I break down what might have gone wrong and why I take a fundamentally different approach to nervous system healing.🔑 Key Topics Covered:• Why prescribed movement exercises can backfire• The difference between fight-or-flight, freeze, and shutdown states• Why safety must come before any trauma work• How to work WITH your nervous system instead of against it• The problem with "hacks" and shortcuts in healing🎯 My Approach:Instead of prescribed movements, I focus on:Building a strong safety foundation firstMindfully connecting with your current stateAllowing natural self-regulation to unfoldFollowing your body's wisdom, not external protocols📚 Want to Learn More?Join the Unstucking Academy - a small, intimate community (limited to 150 members) where we practice these principles together. Features the Unstucking Pathway: bite-sized lessons under 10 minutes each, taking you from Polyvagal basics to mastering skills like pendulation and balancing.👉 Learn more: StuckNotBroken.com/UnstuckingAcademyTimestamps:00:00 - Introduction and Disclaimer00:28 - Viewer Question About TRE Exercises01:24 - Perspective on TRE and Trauma Recovery04:01 - Understanding Fight/Flight and Shutdown States08:01 - Additional Context About Freeze State10:32 - Importance of Safety and Mindful Movement12:18 - Addressing the Original Question15:01 - Information About the Unstucking AcademyResources:🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Feeling overwhelmed by complex breathing techniques and counting methods? In this episode, I share why your body already knows how to breathe—and why trusting that natural process might be more effective than any prescribed breathing "hack."🎯 What You'll Learn:• Why I don't recommend counting breaths during self-regulation• How to use ONE intentional breath as a re-anchoring tool• The difference between coping skills and true self-regulation• How to connect with your body's natural breathing rhythm• When prescribed breathing might actually be helpful (and when it's not)This approach is part of what we teach in The Unstucking Academy - simple, natural processes without the psychobabble or woo-woo.⏰ TIMESTAMPS:00:00 - Introduction and Viewer Question01:19 - Breath and Self-Regulation03:06 - Intentional Breathing Techniques04:49 - Mindfulness and Breath Awareness06:34 - Unstucking Academy Overview07:59 - Conclusion and Invitation🔗 RESOURCES MENTIONED:The Unstucking Academy: https://StuckNotBroken.com/unstuckingacademy(Limited to 150 people - simple, step-by-step pathway without the overwhelm)Resources:🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Feeling overwhelmed by tasks? Discover three practical strategies to reclaim your productivity. Learn how to create a sense of safety to alleviate stress and boost your focus. Embrace the 'Kaizen' approach by taking small, manageable steps toward your goals. Mindfulness techniques can help you navigate daily chaos while reducing feelings of overwhelm. Tune in for actionable insights that empower you to live more calmly, confidently, and connected.

Discover how Polyvagal Theory clarifies the balance between safety and activation when setting healthy boundaries. Learn about the importance of compassionate boundary enforcement and emotional grounding. Explore how self-awareness and past experiences empower your interactions. The discussion emphasizes fostering personal accountability while navigating interpersonal dynamics. This insightful conversation also highlights the strength found in aligning boundaries with your core values.

Discover the intriguing difference between fawn and appease, two fascinating trauma responses. Learn how these behaviors connect to Polyvagal Theory and their significance in the recovery process. The discussion highlights how these responses serve as survival adaptations. Gain insights into self-regulation and the journey toward authenticity after trauma. Plus, find valuable resources to aid your understanding and personal growth.

Discover why trying to force a change in your polyvagal state might be holding you back from true self-regulation. In this episode, therapist and coach Justin Sunseri challenges the common advice around prescriptive breathing techniques and invites you to connect with your body’s natural rhythms instead. Through insights from a live Q&A, learn how mindful awareness and listening to your body can lead to genuine calm, balance, and lasting change—without counting breaths or forcing a state shift.Timestamps:0:00 – Introduction to Inner Balance0:39 – The Power of Natural Breathing2:02 – Critique of Prescriptive Breathing3:53 – Connecting with Your Body’s Needs5:03 – The Body’s Natural Self-Regulation11:05 – Creating Optimal Conditions for Self-Regulation15:02 – Final Thoughts and InvitationResources:🔸 Wondering what to do next? https://bit.ly/4ozbppZ🔸 Stuck Not Broken book series - https://www.justinlmft.com/books🔸 Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)