Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical. Wives: which statement do you agree with more, regarding your husband? “I don’t know how I could live without him” or “I don’t know how he could live without me.” Do we treat our husbands like a child? Do we criticize our husbands in public or to our friends? Criticism doesn’t achieve the change women are looking for -- ever! Attacking the need to be respected is a sure way to put your marriage on the road to danger. How can wives speak to their husbands respectfully? How can husbands and wives work as a team to improve their marriage and their lives? Being disrespected rarely motivates a man.

“I have this problem with low self-esteem, which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.” ~ the modern child Raising confident children is the obsession of many parents today. Cries of “Good job!” “You can do it!” “You are awesome!” can be heard in playgrounds, sporting events, and auditoriums all over the country. Is this really how we should ground our children and help them to be the best they can be? The key to self-esteem is not what you do, but who you are. Who are you? You are a child of God, created in His image. Listen in as we delve into this topic and explore how we can communicate to our children a true confidence based on reality. Some questions to start a discussion: What activities can I do to help give my child confidence? How do I build my teen's identity as a child of God? Where does my own identity come from? In my accomplishments or in who I am?

'Spend’ your time on paper before you ‘spend’ it in reality “How do you do it?” People ask us this question all the time, so we finally decided to answer it, at least in part. In this podcast, we share why a routine is important and why families should budget their time, just as they budget their money. How do you make up this “budget”? Decide what your values are, then decide how they should be evidenced in your routine. As usual, we give some principles, and then some specifics on how you can make a routine for your family that reflects your values and ideals. Discussion Questions: What is our routine? Do we have a routine? Does it align with our values? What do we want to change about it? Show Notes: We referenced these other podcasts: Our podcast on Chores Our podcast on Family Board Meeting Our podcast on Family Dinners

"…I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." ~ Wedding Vows Our wedding was a day to remember for many reasons. First of all, we each married our best friend and began the greatest adventure of our lives. Also, it was a complete disaster by wedding standards. An ice storm in Philadelphia caused power outages, hazardous driving conditions, and canceled plans for many of our guests. In this podcast, we share our story so all of you can feel great about your weddings, even if they didn’t go as planned! A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime ~ Engaged Encounter slogan

"Am I not here, I, who am your mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not the source of your joy? Are you not in the hollow of my mantle, in the crossing of my arms? Do you need anything more? Let nothing else worry you or disturb you.” ~Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego The Virgin Mary is not only a model and intercessor for us to Jesus, but she is also our Mother. She is the crown of God’s creation and a great gift to us from the Father. Who is this woman? Why is she so special? Why should we introduce our children to her? In this podcast, we answer these questions while sharing our own experiences and thoughts on this amazing woman. Show Notes: Best book >> 33 Days to Morning Glory Prayer for consecrating a child to the Blessed Virgin Mary  

"Failing to plan is planning to fail." – Ben Franklin Your family is your own little corporation and you are president of the board. Well, maybe not exactly, but you and your spouse are the partners in running your home, and how can you do that effectively without a plan? Once a year, it’s a good idea to get away, dream a little, and make a plan. A Family Board Meeting isn’t about success or failure; it’s about being unified as a couple in your vision and goals for your family. "Do or do not… there is no try." - Yoda Show Notes: • Three Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni • Beginner’s Guide to Goal Setting from Michael Hyatt • Family Mission and Vision article on the Art of Manliness

“Musical nourishment which is ‘rich in vitamins’ is essential for children.” ~ Zoltan Kodaly, music educator Music is a powerful tool, and an absolutely unique vehicle for ideas, emotions, and stimulation. As parents, we need to train our children to recognize music that is good and music that is not worth listening to. By exposing our children to lots of different types of music, we can help them to make judgments and choose what is good. We can’t underestimate the importance of music in our culture and in our home. "Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything." ~ Plato

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." - Matthew 18: 15 As married people, we each have a duty, a solemn obligation to help to get our spouse to heaven. Sometimes we help them by being a cross for them ☺, but sometimes we need to help our beloved by pointing out things in their lives that need to change in order for them to grow in virtue. Here, we're not talking about a difference in values – most of those are not moral issues – but correction regarding sinful patterns of behavior or vices that need to be rooted out. How do we do this? How do we know when to speak up and when to just pray or be silent? How do we get the courage needed to have this conversation with love? “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor Thanksgiving and Christmas are times of great joy and celebration, but can also be times of unprecedented stress and conflict. Buying gifts, traveling to see extended family, and keeping traditions are all important aspects of the holidays. How do Catholic families enjoy this while also keeping Christ as the center of our holidays? How do we love our families while we are striving to keep the peace and make everything perfect for our kids? Listen in as we discuss these challenges and the ways that we have dealt with them in our household. Show Notes: Shows we referenced and ideas for Advent and Christmas Our podcast on Visiting Family 9 Things to do to make a more meaningful Advent Dynamic Catholic's best Advent ever “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” - John 1:5

“With great power comes great responsibility” ~ Ben Parker (Spiderman’s Uncle) As Catholics, we have a great blessing in the clarity and beauty of the Church’s teaching on contraception. Using the natural rhythms of a woman’s cycle to regulate birth is a way that couples can use the reason of science as they are informed by the light of Faith. NFP is a gift, but it’s also a challenge! It’s hard to deny our bodies when our culture is telling us that we deserve every comfort as well as instant gratification.  In this podcast, we talk about the gift of NFP, but also the reality of the cross of denying ourselves. Listen in and tell us what you think! Show Notes: Links and resources we mention in this podcast. Humanae Vitae Dr. Janet Smith Couple to Couple League NaProTechnology (Creighton Model of NFP) USCCB on Natural Family Planning Theology of the Body Institute