Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

You might be a millennial parent if you… have more pictures of your kids than you do of yourself on social media, feed your kids only organic food, regularly ask the internet for parenting advice, have a tattoo or piercing, or... The generation born between 1980-2000 has a particular way of parenting that is unique. Recently TIME magazine ran an article called “Help! My Parents are Millennials!” and we thought it would be a good idea to address some of the issues it brought to light. This generation is affected by the culture in some very good ways, but also in some very unhealthy ways. It's important to be open-minded, tolerant, and questioning, but not at the expense of being obedient, respectful, and humble. In this podcast, we look at how Millennials are parenting their children and what their particular challenges are. Show Notes: TIME magazine article on Millennial parents TIME Millennial parents raising kids poll  

“…parents must be acknowledged as the first and foremost educators of their children. Their role as educators is so decisive that scarcely anything can compensate for their failure in it." ~ Familiaris Consortio #36 Making educational choices for our children is a daunting and stressful task for most parents. How do parents know what will be best for their children and for their families? The reality is that no one can make this decision for you. Parents need the grace of God to consider homeschooling, public school, or Catholic school and chose what is best for their child. In this podcast, we give some principles that we have used to guide our decisions and share some experiences of all the different schooling options we have chosen.

"What I do, you cannot.  What you do, I cannot.  But together we can make something beautiful for God." ~ Blessed Mother Teresa In our culture today, kids have so many options for activities that it can be overwhelming!  How do you balance family life with sports, theater, groups, and community events especially when you have many children?  Exposure to different activities is important because children need a chance to discover their talents. Nevertheless, we are doing a great disservice to our kids when we tell them that they "can be anything they want to be" -- because that simply isn't true. Not everyone can be an award-winning quarterback or the top gymnast! However, it is true that our children each have unique gifts that they need to discover, and part of being a parent is to guide our children through this process and eliminate things on the way.  

"To go on pilgrimage really means to step out of ourselves to encounter God where He has revealed Himself, where His grace has shone with particular splendor, and produced rich fruits of conversion and holiness." ~ Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI We as Catholics are incarnational people: part of the richness of being Catholic is that we can see and touch the elements of our faith!  Bringing our children to holy sites like special shrines, homes of the saints, or places of miracles helps us to make the faith real to them. These aren't just trips: pilgrimages are spiritual journeys that bring together what we know in our hearts and what we see with our eyes. In this podcast, we share about two pilgrimages that we recently went on - to the Holy Land and to Philadelphia to see the Holy Father. Listen in as we discuss how these holy journeys have strengthened our faith and inspired our children.

“Where there is a family with love, that family is capable of warming the heart of a whole city with its witness of love.” - Pope Francis Our Holy Father has a pastor’s heart, but often his quotes become controversial. He speaks directly to families, those suffering, and to those in power in a frank, honest fashion. With the Holy Father coming to the United States and the upcoming Synod on the Family, we are taking time in this podcast to discuss his words, some of his challenging comments, and why some of the things he says are taken in a negative light. We all have a responsibility to prayerfully reflect on his words with the knowledge that they are spoken by the Vicar of Christ. We welcome you to listen to our thoughts and share your opinions with us. Show Links:  Love is our Mission: The Family Fully Alive

"Learn the heart of God from the word of God." - Pope Saint Gregory the Great How is the Word of God honored in our homes? God is present in His Word; do we truly realize that? As Catholics, we need to surround our children with Scripture through stories, prayer, teaching, and song. We should be using the Bible to pass on the faith to our children, for it is through the Bible that they will come to know Who Jesus is and hear Him speaking to them. "Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ." - St. Jerome Show Notes: here are some great resources: iBreviary Scripture Studies from Scott Hahn and St. Paul Center Alicia's CD (songs help memorize scripture)

"Nothing makes a father happier than seeing a daughter with a smile on her face and her boyfriend with fear in his eyes." - Willie Robertson Daughters AND sons need direction and guidance when it comes to dating. The world tells us that dating is private and we have no business "meddling" in our teens' affairs. Nothing is farther from the truth! Kids need mom and dad's wisdom on navigating the perilous world of relationships and emotions. We have some practical advice to give from our own experience that we can share with you. Parents have to be intentional about discussing relationships with their kids and make a safe place for them to be honest and vulnerable, so they don't go seeking affirmation in the wrong places. Dating is another area in which Catholic families can affect the world in a positive way by our example. Listen in! "Your natural instinct is to protect your daughter. Forget what pop culture and pop psychologists tell you. DO IT." - Dr. Meg Meeker Show Notes: Here's what we referenced. Hernon Ground Rules for Dating (heavily copied from Jennifer Degler)  

Your marriage is only as good as the work you put into it. A child-centered marriage is a recipe for disaster. Teach children early that their “happiness” is not Mom or Dad’s reason for living. ~Breathing Grace: Everything I Know About Marriage in 200 Words or Less How often do we take the time to show our spouse that they are "Number One" in our lives? Dedicated time alone without the children is an essential part of any healthy marriage. The foundation of your family is your marriage, and we should never, ever take for granted that we are doing fine. In this episode, we talk about the importance of date nights and get-away weekends. We also address two listener questions - one on toy guns, and the other on how to have effective family time. Listen in and start the discussion on how and why we should all spend quality time with our beloved in order to improve our family life.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” - Ephesians 4:29 The words that are spoken in our home can create an atmosphere of trust, openness, and honesty, or one of hostility and distrust. We need to banish from our homes sarcasm and negative humor because they tear down family members instead of building them up. There are many ways that we can use our words to encourage our children and our spouses. We need to take the time to honor and love our family with our words, so our home can be a safe place for our children to thrive and grow.  

"Half of the time I feel like I'm running an insane asylum… the other half of the time I feel like I belong in one!" There are so many needs pressing on parents, especially moms, all day, every day. How can we prioritize our time and energy to create an orderly life for ourselves and our family? In the book A Mother's Rule of Life, Holly Pierlot describes the Six Priorities of Life that can help us create a routine in our day and make decisions that will help us use our time wisely and effectively. Despite what your children think, mothers can't do everything! Moms (and dads!) can create a balanced life by giving priority first to Prayer, then to Person, Partner, Parent, Provider, and Periphery (everything else!). If you enjoy this podcast, contact us about having Alicia come to speak to your parish or group to do a full presentation with more information on this topic. Show Notes: A Mother's Rule of Life book by Holly Pierlot