Grace + Boundaries: Navigating Intergenerational Trauma with Erin Hearts

Do you think you're controlling? Most people don't. We generally think of a angry, domestically violent-type person who takes their partners phone and stops them from seeing their friends. But what if I showed you that being controlling is actually a very covert form of manipulation that you might be doing in relationships without even meaning to?!Today I give three uncommon signs that you might have an issue with control, which is actually a sign of codepenency. If you're willing to listen to this, then YOU are DOING THE WORK! Congratulations on your self-awareness!!!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Have you noticed the critical voice inside your head? If you are in recovery or are interested in learning more about self-love and self care, this episode is for you. I know there was a time in my life when I was in such denial about my mental health that I didn't even notice the horrid things my critical voice was constantly shouting at me. Those messages had become such commonplace occurences that I had ignored them. But they were still there, behind the scenes, adding to my self-hatred and low self-esteem. Today I will show you how to identify that critical voice, sometimes called our "critical parent." Where do these voices come from? Are they from childhood? I will also give you the tools to combat that critical voice and start setting boundaries for more self-love and acceptance within your own body!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Today I share a short poem I wrote that summarizes my journey from self-loathing to self-love. I hope it inspires you to follow your creativity! Spending our time in creative mode activates the pump that gushes self-love and acceptance!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Our energy sets our boundaries! This means that boundaries are mostly an inside job. You might not need to even tell the other person with words that you are setting a boundary! We've all been around people who have strong boundaries. They hold the truth inside of them and we know even before talking to them that they won't put up with BS! We can become that type of person if we take the time to sit, listen to our resentments and feelings, and tease out the exact thing that's bugging us. If we do that, the truth emerges and we are able to then proceed with the boundary a lot more smoothly. We also can take time to talk with a neutral friend about the boundary and practice saying as few words as possible to convey our message. We don't need to explain the boundary if we know our own truth within and can validate it for ourselves. Good luck boundary setting with grace! Let me know how it goes.  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

I share an exercise you can do for free with a pen and a piece of paper to tap into the wisdom of your intuition/inner child. One time I got an amazingly intuitive hit with this exercise and it helped me understand the truth about my abusive partner. I mention Martha Beck. Here's one of her wonderful podcasts that you might enjoy: https://omny.fm/shows/the-gathering-pod/the-magical-corner-of-intention-and-invention Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Pure. Fucking. Magic. PFM. What was happening in your life when you experienced it? I liken it to the feeling of the universe delivering in such a way that you could have never planned or expected. It's pure magic. I share two examples of recent PFM in my life, but there are so many! When have you witnessed PFM? DM me on Instagram @iheartserin Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Do you stay quiet when injustices occur? Or do you voice your concerns in a graceful manner? Today I share a story about how I stood up for my values by writing an email to my son's school. A shocking thing occured while my son was having freetime, and I wanted to make sure it didn't happen again. I know I can't solve the problems of the world, but maybe I can make better the little corner of the city I live in... maybe I can protect one other child from being porn-exposed at a young age. I recorded this podcast before I had heard a response from the teachers I emailed. I wanted to be sure that my feelings were raw and real as I recorded it. I had so many fears before I clicked that "send" button and stuck my neck out! I was so fearful of being judged, blamed, or just ignored! Luckily, I can tell you now, I was listened to and action was taken to stop this from happening again! My little email caused a GREAT DEAL of change. I alerted the school about problems I don't think they even knew existed at the elementary level. Grace + Boundaries works! Keep an even keel to break that cycle!!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Have you ever wondered if you were a narcissist? I sure have. When I started learning about Narcissism and Codependency back in 2015, I was confused about the difference between these two ideas. It seemed they overlapped in places that made me scared- could I be just as bad as the person I was pointing fingers at? The short answer is: NO. Narcissism is intense and serious. It is not the same thing as being a jerk, or being self-centered. All humans are celf-centered a lot of the time, but that doesn't make us narcissistic. True narcissism is when a person has no sense of self and has to deflect all blame towards others because they are unable to self-reflecft or feel empathy. Let's start reclamining the severity of the true word narcissism and stop using synonymously with all negative character traits. Public Service Soap-box announcement! ;-) Thanks for listening! I hope it helps you on your journey!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Do you ever gaslight yourself when you think of the narcissistic person in your life? Do you wonder if it's your fault, if they're right, if everyone else is more sane than you because you see the bad behavior and they don't? I've been dealing with real gaslighting from narcissists and people in my life for many years. But I've recently realized how I was doing it to myself! This week I had a lot of anger and after consulting with a friend, decided to do a meditation to help release some of it. I came across this wonderful meditation by Amy Lowery on Insight Timer: https://insig.ht/wSLC3oMRpHbI share about what helped me release my anger. Then, when the veil of anger was lifted, what I found behind it was a truth that I know deep in my bones. This will help you if you've ever suffered from narcissistic abuse. My favorite expert on narcissism: Dr. Ramani Durvasula with a book ("It's Not You") and a podcast ("Navigating Narcissism"), both INCREDIBLE. I also read a book recently by a therapist about narcissistic abuse recovery: Ingrid Clayton's "Believing Me." https://www.amazon.com/Believing-Me-Healing-Narcissistic-Complex/dp/B0BCSCYRLB/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.PJDSHzhZ8WZbjLV12WtrttisvMiVRXpfyI7hs-eoQZuIvpnytQos3s9XEKVXul5qIpml0fcO2jd6sBxg9mdGj6L6E56NqOtX0uM3wUwP6oqAuCxQREXt9to8ltLeNuLgGfDMuNOZX6KvbrYvwP9y8g.z8SXIRvLY905d-O4t2WaARadWfPr7b4an9sTVSRWkks&qid=1708668278&sr=8-1I hope these help you on your journey while you navigate intergenerational trauma!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

I listened to a popular male podcaster recently say that we should never mention our ex or our trauma when dating. I disagree. What do you think? While I think the idea of trying to have a fun, light, time while dating is a good rule of thumb, I disagree that I should stop myself from sharing anything serious. My goal in dating is not just to have fun. It's to be my authentic self so that I can tell quickly if the person I'm with actually likes me for ME rather than just the absolute shiniest version of myself. I discuss why I think it's important to stay honest, even on a first date. A brief mentioning of tiny pieces of our past, especially if asked, is not going to make or break a date with the right person. I also share about why I'm proud of overcoming my past and that trying to not mention something purposefully feels shaming to me. Anyone who I would want to be with and who would end up loving me is going to be someone who can handle truth and wants to seek out truth. Truth doesn't need to go as far as creating a trauma-bond. It's essential to a healthy, loving relationship, even from the first moments of meeting. Thanks for listening!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!