Dear Dr. Tracy

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Robyn Silverman, also known as The Conversation Doc! Dr. Robyn, a child and teen development specialist and host of the "How to Talk to Kids About Anything" podcast, just released a new book with the same title and is here to share all of her wisdom. Reflecting on her personal experiences, Dr. Robyn emphasizes the crucial role parents play in initiating important conversations with their children, covering topics like bullying and self-esteem. The discussion explores challenges in addressing body image, the identity feedback loop, and practical advice for fostering self-esteem. Dr. Robyn provides valuable guidance on creating a safe space for children, recognizing self-esteem struggles, and dealing with external influences. This episode is a powerful resource for parents, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and openness in the parent-child relationship at any age.   Today’s topics include:  The importance of having uncomfortable conversations with your children  What it means to have a fear response as a parent  Parenting out loud and how you can practice it with your own kids  Breaking the identity feedback loop    Identifying self-esteem struggles and building tools to get back on track  How to approach negative external influences  Giving yourself grace as a parent   You can find Robyn on Instagram, on her podcast and website!  A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!OneSkin - Get 15% off with the code "INYS" at oneskin.coLume - As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code "INYS" at lumedeoderant.comHoneylove - Save up to 50% Off sitewide at honeylove.com/INYS  You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we approach the many gatherings that the holiday season brings, the need for teamwork and connection in our relationships is as relevant as ever. This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Christa Hardin, host of the Enneagram and Marriage podcast, author, and founder of Reflections Counselling Centre, to explore the Enneagram assessment as a tool for building stronger connections in our partnerships. She shares her own personal experience with the Enneagram, the positive impact it’s had on her marriage, and the several benefits of this assessment when it comes to couples seeking to strengthen their relationships and better themselves. Christa takes us through the nine enneagram types, the concept of wings, the three conflict triads, and emphasizes the significance of self-care in maintaining healthy relationships. She also provides guidance on approaching relationships with compassion, focusing on individual self-improvement, and embracing each other's strengths and imperfections. It’s such an eye-opening discussion that goes beyond partnerships and into gaining a better understanding of ourselves to help us navigate and live more meaningful and connected lives. Today’s topics include:  The benefits of the Enneagram vs. other assessments  What to do if your partner isn’t interested in taking the Enneagram test  A high-level overview of the nine Enneagram personality types  How do Enneagram wings work?  The 3 instincts of marriage  Conflict triads and what they mean  The importance of self-grounding and self-care in the midst of relationship struggles  Why you should revisit your love story  Leading with intention but leaving a necessary margin   You can find Christa on Instagram, listen to her podcast and find her book on her website!   A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!OneSkin - Get 15% off with the code "INYS" at oneskin.coLume - As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code "INYS" at lumedeoderant.comHoneylove - Save up to 50% Off sitewide at honeylove.com/INYS You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

*Trigger Warning: Childhood Sexual Trauma This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with the inspiring and resilient Jessalynn Biederstadt, the host of the Invisible Scars podcast and owner of the Doted Boutique. As a victim and survivor of the Willow River, child sexual assault pornography case in 1999, Jessalynn has shown immense strength in her healing journey and is opening up and sharing the very real ups and downs of that process with us today. From the incredible work she’s doing with her podcast and the platform she’s giving to other victims of trauma to the messy and inconvenient aspects of the healing process and a very realistic look into what it’s like to “do the work” as a mother and partner, we’re so grateful to have her on to share with us today, and we hope this episode is a reminder that there is no right way or time to heal; you're already doing better than you think you are.   Today’s topics include:  The consequences of internalizing trauma  Why there will never be a “right” time to begin healing  Navigating postpartum while recovering from trauma  The power of sitting and reflecting on your growth  Overcoming personal trauma and doing the work while in a partnership  Losing people during the healing process   You can find Jessalynn on Instagram and listen to Invisible Scars here!  A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!OneSkin - Get 15% off with the code "INYS" at oneskin.coLume - As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code "INYS" at lumedeoderant.comHoneylove - Save up to 50% Off sitewide at honeylove.com/INYS You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Jennifer Chaiken and Emmalee Bierly, licensed marriage and family therapists, co-owners of the therapy practice “The Therapy Group,” and co-hosts of the “Shrink Chicks” podcast. The two kick off the episode by taking us back to their grad school days and the reasons why their ultimate goal as therapists, podcast hosts, and public figures is to make therapy more relatable, digestible, and accessible for all. They then open up about the reality of starting a podcast about therapy as a practicing therapist and the ways it’s impacted their relationships with their clients. For the main event, the conversation dives into the roots of personalization and why some of us are quick to take the blame for other people's feelings or behaviour. From childhood experiences and parental dynamics to how personalization can manifest in our various adult relationships, the trio provides valuable insight and guidance on how to navigate, find empathy, set boundaries, and respond instead of reacting in triggering situations with the people closest to us. Ultimately, this episode emphasizes the power of personal agency and how to honor your authentic self in adult relationships, just in time for the holidays.  Today’s topics include:  Breaking down the traditionally clinical walls of therapy   Deepening the client/therapist relationship   What personalization is and how it shows up for people   Chaotic upbringings and the various ways personalization can develop   The importance of reflecting inward and acknowledging some of the survival mechanisms you’ve brought into adulthood   Having a highly sensitive child and approaching that as a parent   Finding empathy and understanding generational behaviour  What it means to be hard on the inside and soft on the outside  Preventative care and how to step into responding instead of reacting  The power of personal agency    You can find more from Jennifer and Emmalee on their Instagram, website and podcast!  A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!OneSkin - Get 15% off with the code "INYS" at oneskin.coLume - As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code "INYS" at lumedeoderant.comHoneylove - Save up to 50% Off sitewide at honeylove.com/INYS You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass     Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected    Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is celebrating 100 episodes of the podcast! Kicking off the show with a moment of gratitude, she reflects on the show’s incredible journey towards nearly one million downloads and expresses her appreciation for the supportive community we’ve created together. The episode then dives into the essential topic of emotion regulation with the guest of honour, Dr. Cindy Hovington, a mom of three with a doctorate in neuroscience, podcast host, founder of Curious Neuron, and the Wondergrade app. Together, they explore the shift from impulsive reactions to deliberate responses in parenting, highlighting the formative role of past experiences in shaping our emotional reactions as parents and individuals. The conversation touches on the importance of giving children the space to express their anger in a safe way and the invaluable practice of modelling emotional awareness as parents. Additionally, the episode underscores the significance of identifying emotional regulation zones and addresses the sensitive issue of physical abuse in parenting. Dr. Cindy's profound insights offer invaluable guidance to parents navigating the intricate landscape of emotions, both at home and beyond. Today’s topics include:  Responding vs. reacting when parenting  Managing dysregulation of the nervous system and Dr. Cindy’s 3-zone self-assessment  Why revisiting your own upbringing and history with emotional regulation will benefit your children  How to best approach anger when it comes to our children and creating a safe space for them  The importance of practicing self-awareness in moments of tension and difficulty  Why physical abuse is never an acceptable or productive response   You can find Dr. Cindy and learn more about the Curious Neuron on their Instagram, website and podcast! Also be sure to check out the Wondergrade App.  A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!OneSkin - Get 15% off with the code "INYS" at oneskin.coLume - As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code "INYS" at lumedeoderant.comYou can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass     Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected    Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Stephanie Kramer, a leader in the beauty industry who serves as the Chief Human Resources Officer at L'Oreal USA, a professor at FIT, a mother of two, and the author of "Carry Strong”. Stephanie’s book aims to empower women in navigating the intricate balance of pregnancy, parenthood, and work. Drawing from her personal experiences, Stephanie shares her inspiration for writing “Carry Strong”, shedding light on the often-overlooked silent struggles and unique challenges faced by working women before, during, and after pregnancy. The conversation then explores the complexities of work-life balance, the pressure to do it all and how to take a more “flexible” approach to adapt to the ever-changing demands of motherhood. Plus, the two also swap notes on topics like mom guilt, the fear of missing out (FOMO), and the very real struggle of trying to maintain a sense of identity in this particular phase of life. In the words of Stephanie herself, you can do it all, not at the same time, and not alone.  Today’s topics include:  The silent suffering working women endure in the early phase of pregnancy  Work-life balance in motherhood and how to approach it more fluidly  Moving through mom guilt and shame as a working parent  How to go from FOMO (fear of missing out) to COMO (certainty of missing out)  The freeing nature of prioritization and making conscious decisions based on your values  Struggling with identity and how to come back to yourself   You can learn more about The Carry Strong Project on Instagram and check out the book and website here!   You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Zoe Shaw, a licensed psychotherapist, motivational speaker, life coach, and podcast host. Her extensive experience spans over two decades, during which she's been dedicated to helping women navigate challenging relationships and discover their inner strength. Dr. Shaw opens up the conversation by candidly sharing her own complex journey with shame, tracing it back to her teenage years, when she grappled with a secret pregnancy at the age of 15. She explores the various ways shame can manifest itself, emphasizing the profound difference between guilt and shame and how these emotions manifest in individuals, leading to externalizing or internalizing behaviours. Lastly, the two address the impact of shame on relationships and offer valuable insights into healing and self-acceptance. Today’s Topics include:  Shame spirals and how to identify if you’re experiencing them  Understanding the difference between guilt and shame  Characteristics of shame externalizers and shame internalizers  How to get to a place of healing in your relationship if you suffer from complex shame  The benefits that deep individual self-work can have on our relationships  Recognizing the energy exchange within a relationship and practicing interdependence instead of co-dependency  Why vulnerability is key to the healing journey if you suffer from complex shame   You can find Dr. Shaw on Instagram on her website, and listen to her podcast! You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist, professor, speaker, and author of two bestselling books “Loving Bravely” and “Taking Sexy Back”. Her work on relational self-awareness has reached millions of people around the world, and today, Dr. Solomon and Dr. Tracy are diving into the real experiences of therapists, the common misconceptions of couples therapy, and how to develop a strong relationship with your therapist. Together, they explore the elements that went into Dr. Tracy’s new book, “I Didn’t Sign Up For This,” and the importance of the patient-client relationship. They also discuss the shifting narrative and stigma of therapy and the many misconceptions and fears of couples therapy in particular.  Today’s Topics include:  Shifting narrative in therapy  Importance of the patient-client relationship and the need for giving feedback to therapists  Acceptance as a requirement in love and relationships  How our ambitions have an impact on relationship challenges  Decreasing stigma around therapy and the common misconceptions about couples therapy  Seeing couples therapy as a sign of strength and vulnerability  Normalizing life changes and addressing relationship problems openly  When to consider solo therapy versus couples therapy   You can find Dr. Alexandra on Instagram, on her website, and listen to her podcast!  You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy sits down with Alyssa Blask Campbell, parent, teacher, emotional development expert, and CEO of Seed and Sew, and together, they delve into the realm of children's emotional intelligence. Alyssa shares her journey into this field, driven by the need for personalized approaches to regulating children's emotions when she recognized that all of the resources out there were often crafted as a “one size fits all” approach. She shares her work creating the Collaborative Emotional Processing (CEP) method, emphasizing sensory mismatches, the impact of parental shame, and the importance of allowing children to experience various emotions safely. Together, they highlight the significance of equipping children with emotional processing tools and supporting them through challenging experiences that will help them not only when they are young but as they grow into adulthood. Lastly, they discuss the significance of setting boundaries and understanding consequences in the context of a child's growth and the development of their emotional intelligence skills.   Today’s topics include:  The need for personalized approaches to regulate children's emotions  Introduction of the Collaborative Emotional Processing (CEP) method  Emphasis on sensory mismatches and understanding children's unique needs  The impact of parental shame  The Importance of allowing children to safely experience a range of emotions  Equipping children with tools for emotional processing  Supporting children during challenging experiences  You can find Alyssa Blask Cambell on Instagram, on her website, and listen to her podcast!  You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Tanya Cotler, a renowned clinical psychologist and co-founder of Renni, to discuss attachment science and its profound influence on our parenting and relationships. Dr. Cotler sheds light on how our earliest years, particularly the first three, significantly shape our relationship blueprints. Together, they explore the intriguing link between attachment and feelings of shame, stressing the spectrum of attachment strategies, from anxious to avoidant. Dr. Cotler also dispels common parenting misconceptions, advocates for compassionate and intuitive parenting, and underscores the value of recognizing ruptures and repairs in nurturing a child's autonomy. Furthermore, the discussion extends beyond parenting to how these principles can enrich various relationships, emphasizing negotiation and acknowledging our own needs while fostering connections with others.  Today’s topics include:  The importance of the first three years of life in forming our blueprint for relationships.  The connection between attachment and the experience of shame in challenging moments  How the attachment system is related to our survival instincts and emotional responses  Coping strategies developed in childhood and their impact on adult behavior  Understanding anxious and avoidant attachment styles and their impact on relationships  Exploring intuitive and compassionate parenting and dispelling common myths.  How children communicate through their behavior and body language  The concept of ruptures and repairs in parent-child relationships  The essence of gentle, compassionate parenting and allowing children to learn autonomy  Understanding that it's impossible to meet every need at every moment and the importance of negotiation    You can find Dr. Tanya on Instagram, on her website, and learn more her work at Renni on their website!  You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices