Dear Dr. Tracy

This week, Dr. Tracy is celebrating 100 episodes of the podcast! Kicking off the show with a moment of gratitude, she reflects on the show’s incredible journey towards nearly one million downloads and expresses her appreciation for the supportive community we’ve created together. The episode then dives into the essential topic of emotion regulation with the guest of honour, Dr. Cindy Hovington, a mom of three with a doctorate in neuroscience, podcast host, founder of Curious Neuron, and the Wondergrade app. Together, they explore the shift from impulsive reactions to deliberate responses in parenting, highlighting the formative role of past experiences in shaping our emotional reactions as parents and individuals. The conversation touches on the importance of giving children the space to express their anger in a safe way and the invaluable practice of modelling emotional awareness as parents. Additionally, the episode underscores the significance of identifying emotional regulation zones and addresses the sensitive issue of physical abuse in parenting. Dr. Cindy's profound insights offer invaluable guidance to parents navigating the intricate landscape of emotions, both at home and beyond. Today’s topics include:  Responding vs. reacting when parenting  Managing dysregulation of the nervous system and Dr. Cindy’s 3-zone self-assessment  Why revisiting your own upbringing and history with emotional regulation will benefit your children  How to best approach anger when it comes to our children and creating a safe space for them  The importance of practicing self-awareness in moments of tension and difficulty  Why physical abuse is never an acceptable or productive response   You can find Dr. Cindy and learn more about the Curious Neuron on their Instagram, website and podcast! Also be sure to check out the Wondergrade App.  A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!OneSkin - Get 15% off with the code "INYS" at oneskin.coLume - As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code "INYS" at lumedeoderant.comYou can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass     Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected    Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Stephanie Kramer, a leader in the beauty industry who serves as the Chief Human Resources Officer at L'Oreal USA, a professor at FIT, a mother of two, and the author of "Carry Strong”. Stephanie’s book aims to empower women in navigating the intricate balance of pregnancy, parenthood, and work. Drawing from her personal experiences, Stephanie shares her inspiration for writing “Carry Strong”, shedding light on the often-overlooked silent struggles and unique challenges faced by working women before, during, and after pregnancy. The conversation then explores the complexities of work-life balance, the pressure to do it all and how to take a more “flexible” approach to adapt to the ever-changing demands of motherhood. Plus, the two also swap notes on topics like mom guilt, the fear of missing out (FOMO), and the very real struggle of trying to maintain a sense of identity in this particular phase of life. In the words of Stephanie herself, you can do it all, not at the same time, and not alone.  Today’s topics include:  The silent suffering working women endure in the early phase of pregnancy  Work-life balance in motherhood and how to approach it more fluidly  Moving through mom guilt and shame as a working parent  How to go from FOMO (fear of missing out) to COMO (certainty of missing out)  The freeing nature of prioritization and making conscious decisions based on your values  Struggling with identity and how to come back to yourself   You can learn more about The Carry Strong Project on Instagram and check out the book and website here!   You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Zoe Shaw, a licensed psychotherapist, motivational speaker, life coach, and podcast host. Her extensive experience spans over two decades, during which she's been dedicated to helping women navigate challenging relationships and discover their inner strength. Dr. Shaw opens up the conversation by candidly sharing her own complex journey with shame, tracing it back to her teenage years, when she grappled with a secret pregnancy at the age of 15. She explores the various ways shame can manifest itself, emphasizing the profound difference between guilt and shame and how these emotions manifest in individuals, leading to externalizing or internalizing behaviours. Lastly, the two address the impact of shame on relationships and offer valuable insights into healing and self-acceptance. Today’s Topics include:  Shame spirals and how to identify if you’re experiencing them  Understanding the difference between guilt and shame  Characteristics of shame externalizers and shame internalizers  How to get to a place of healing in your relationship if you suffer from complex shame  The benefits that deep individual self-work can have on our relationships  Recognizing the energy exchange within a relationship and practicing interdependence instead of co-dependency  Why vulnerability is key to the healing journey if you suffer from complex shame   You can find Dr. Shaw on Instagram on her website, and listen to her podcast! You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist, professor, speaker, and author of two bestselling books “Loving Bravely” and “Taking Sexy Back”. Her work on relational self-awareness has reached millions of people around the world, and today, Dr. Solomon and Dr. Tracy are diving into the real experiences of therapists, the common misconceptions of couples therapy, and how to develop a strong relationship with your therapist. Together, they explore the elements that went into Dr. Tracy’s new book, “I Didn’t Sign Up For This,” and the importance of the patient-client relationship. They also discuss the shifting narrative and stigma of therapy and the many misconceptions and fears of couples therapy in particular.  Today’s Topics include:  Shifting narrative in therapy  Importance of the patient-client relationship and the need for giving feedback to therapists  Acceptance as a requirement in love and relationships  How our ambitions have an impact on relationship challenges  Decreasing stigma around therapy and the common misconceptions about couples therapy  Seeing couples therapy as a sign of strength and vulnerability  Normalizing life changes and addressing relationship problems openly  When to consider solo therapy versus couples therapy   You can find Dr. Alexandra on Instagram, on her website, and listen to her podcast!  You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy sits down with Alyssa Blask Campbell, parent, teacher, emotional development expert, and CEO of Seed and Sew, and together, they delve into the realm of children's emotional intelligence. Alyssa shares her journey into this field, driven by the need for personalized approaches to regulating children's emotions when she recognized that all of the resources out there were often crafted as a “one size fits all” approach. She shares her work creating the Collaborative Emotional Processing (CEP) method, emphasizing sensory mismatches, the impact of parental shame, and the importance of allowing children to experience various emotions safely. Together, they highlight the significance of equipping children with emotional processing tools and supporting them through challenging experiences that will help them not only when they are young but as they grow into adulthood. Lastly, they discuss the significance of setting boundaries and understanding consequences in the context of a child's growth and the development of their emotional intelligence skills.   Today’s topics include:  The need for personalized approaches to regulate children's emotions  Introduction of the Collaborative Emotional Processing (CEP) method  Emphasis on sensory mismatches and understanding children's unique needs  The impact of parental shame  The Importance of allowing children to safely experience a range of emotions  Equipping children with tools for emotional processing  Supporting children during challenging experiences  You can find Alyssa Blask Cambell on Instagram, on her website, and listen to her podcast!  You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Tanya Cotler, a renowned clinical psychologist and co-founder of Renni, to discuss attachment science and its profound influence on our parenting and relationships. Dr. Cotler sheds light on how our earliest years, particularly the first three, significantly shape our relationship blueprints. Together, they explore the intriguing link between attachment and feelings of shame, stressing the spectrum of attachment strategies, from anxious to avoidant. Dr. Cotler also dispels common parenting misconceptions, advocates for compassionate and intuitive parenting, and underscores the value of recognizing ruptures and repairs in nurturing a child's autonomy. Furthermore, the discussion extends beyond parenting to how these principles can enrich various relationships, emphasizing negotiation and acknowledging our own needs while fostering connections with others.  Today’s topics include:  The importance of the first three years of life in forming our blueprint for relationships.  The connection between attachment and the experience of shame in challenging moments  How the attachment system is related to our survival instincts and emotional responses  Coping strategies developed in childhood and their impact on adult behavior  Understanding anxious and avoidant attachment styles and their impact on relationships  Exploring intuitive and compassionate parenting and dispelling common myths.  How children communicate through their behavior and body language  The concept of ruptures and repairs in parent-child relationships  The essence of gentle, compassionate parenting and allowing children to learn autonomy  Understanding that it's impossible to meet every need at every moment and the importance of negotiation    You can find Dr. Tanya on Instagram, on her website, and learn more her work at Renni on their website!  You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy sits down with her husband Greg to discuss what it means to fight fair. Whether it’s in your relationship or with a friend, they are breaking down the 8 practices that will help you navigate those frustrating disagreements that we find ourselves in when we feel overwhelmed. Together, they discuss the common build ups that can happen when one person isn’t clearly communicating their feelings and the importance of acknowledging each others frustrations. They expand on each of the 8 practices including sticking to one issue at a time, giving the most generous interpretation, avoid bringing up the past, and more.  Lastly, they dive into your personal questions surrounding what it means to fight fair and offer valuable advice to help you shift your mindset and navigate those challenging moments.  You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with her editor at PESI Publishing for a behind-the-scenes look into the making of her new book, "I Didn't Sign Up for This." In this intimate conversation, Dr. Tracy shares the origin story of her book and her observation of the common experiences we all often face in relationships yet we don’t talk about openly. Recognizing that people often learn best from stories rather than just tips and tricks, she wanted to create something that was accessible at home and incorporated realistic, everyday stories such as the fights with our partners, the stressors of cohabitation, co-parenting, blending families, and even retirement. Dr. Tracy also opens up about her decision to incorporate her own experiences into the book, drawing from her own marriage. She explains what led her to choose the title "I Didn't Sign Up for This" and how she maintained client confidentiality while sharing their powerful stories within the book.  Today’s topics include:  The power of storytelling and the need to address everyday relationship challenges that often go unspoken  The common stressors and complexities of various life scenarios, including cohabitation, co-parenting, blending families, and retirement  The concepts of dependence vs. interdependence in relationships, with a focus on self-reflection and healthy dynamics  Dr. Tracy’s decision to include her own experiences from her marriage and explains why she chose the book's title  How she maintained client confidentiality while including their impactful stories in the book   You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week's episode, Dr. Tracy returns for episode 4 of her mini-series, and she's joined by the remarkable couple, Ryan and Britt, hosts of The Laughing Couple Podcast. Together, they shed light on balancing both the romantic and professional aspects of their relationship with their bustling home lives and their thriving business. They share how they’ve learned to navigate the often unspoken challenges that arise and emphasize the importance of open and honest communication in relationships. Together, they dive into the key pillars that they've really leaned on to maintain a connection with each other, including focusing on experiential intimacy and creating a bucket list of shared activities that they both look forward to completing with each other. Ryan and Britt also share some heartfelt advice for those struggling in their relationships, emphasizing the importance of generosity and empathy in partnerships. They share the exercises and tools they've used to overcome relationship roadblocks, especially when it comes to navigating the mental load both at home and in business.  Today’s topics include:  Balancing romance and business as partners  Challenges of sharing relationship struggles openly with friends and family  The importance of having trusted sounding boards outside the relationship  The importance of open communication and how starting their podcast saved their marriage  The importance of setting aside quality time for each other and encouraging generosity and empathy in relationships  The role of experiential intimacy in maintaining a strong bond  Exercises and tools for overcoming relationship roadblocks  How they navigate the mental load at home and in business   Be sure to follow Ryan and Britt on Instagram @thelaughingcouple and listen to their podcast!  Join us LIVE in Toronto on September 12th for my book launch event where I will be joined by Renee Reina to teach you the key to building a healthy interdependent relationship. Tickets here! You can pre-order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Dr. Tracy sits down for episode 3 of her mini-series to speak with Audra and Chelsi, hosts of the "Dear Chiefs" podcast, to discuss the complexities of relationships and marriage with a first responder. As two wives of fire fighters, Audra and Chelsi know all too well the challenges that come with being the default parent while their partner is away at work for days and weeks at a time. In this episode, Audra and Chelsi discuss the often-misunderstood sacrifices of stay-at-home parents, emphasizing that these individuals take on immense responsibilities both at home and within their relationships. They shed light on the concept of being the "default parent", the emotional toll it can take, and the importance of planning, setting expectations, and finding a balance that prioritizes both partners and children. Lastly, they share realistic strategies on how to integrate their partner back into family life after their work block is complete and the importance of prioritizing your own well-being and independence.  Today’s topics include:  Balancing the role of being a stay-at-home parent and the sacrifices involved  Unveiling the reality of living with a split person due to first responder schedules  Managing missed family moments and embracing the role of the default parent  Strategies for prioritizing both partner and children while maintaining personal balance  The importance of having backup plans and self-care routines  Navigating reintegration and supporting partners after work blocks  Setting realistic standards and reframing expectations in parenting and partnership  Addressing resentment and embracing personal agency within the relationship  Shifting from dependency to self-sufficiency and self-fulfillment   Be sure to follow Audra and Chelsi on Instagram @dearchiefspodcast and listen to their podcast! Join us LIVE in Toronto on September 12th for my book launch event where I will be joined by Renee Reina to teach you the key to building a healthy interdependent relationship. Tickets here! You can pre-order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here Looking for more? Join me in my online teachings so you can feel like a team again. Get intentional with your partner and reconnect with small actions every day with 28 Days of Love   Ready to learn how to repair? Take my FREE masterclass      Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected     Deepen your Connection with your Partner: 100 Questions to Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices