Navigating the Parent-Child Attachment with Dr. Tanya Cotler

This week, Dr. Tracy is sitting down with Dr. Tanya Cotler, a renowned clinical psychologist and co-founder of Renni, to discuss attachment science and its profound influence on our parenting and relationships. Dr. Cotler sheds light on how our earliest years, particularly the first three, significantly shape our relationship blueprints. Together, they explore the intriguing link between attachment and feelings of shame, stressing the spectrum of attachment strategies, from anxious to avoidant. Dr. Cotler also dispels common parenting misconceptions, advocates for compassionate and intuitive parenting, and underscores the value of recognizing ruptures and repairs in nurturing a child's autonomy. Furthermore, the discussion extends beyond parenting to how these principles can enrich various relationships, emphasizing negotiation and acknowledging our own needs while fostering connections with others. 

Today’s topics include: 

• The importance of the first three years of life in forming our blueprint for relationships. 
• The connection between attachment and the experience of shame in challenging moments 
• How the attachment system is related to our survival instincts and emotional responses 
• Coping strategies developed in childhood and their impact on adult behavior 
• Understanding anxious and avoidant attachment styles and their impact on relationships 
• Exploring intuitive and compassionate parenting and dispelling common myths. 
• How children communicate through their behavior and body language 
• The concept of ruptures and repairs in parent-child relationships 
• The essence of gentle, compassionate parenting and allowing children to learn autonomy 
• Understanding that it's impossible to meet every need at every moment and the importance of negotiation 

You can find Dr. Tanya on Instagram, on her website, and learn more her work at Renni on their website! 

You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! 

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