Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

What would you do if your partner strayed? Would you leave immediately or try to forgive the betrayal and move on? Could trust ever be rebuilt? Would the indiscretion haunt you forever? When vows have been broken, is a relationship ever salvageable? Marriage and family therapist, Jennifer Lehr, works with couples struggling to repair their relationships post infidelity. The good news—restoration is possible. The better news—it takes a lot of work. How is work BETTER news? Because, as Jennifer explains and the research substantiates, in-depth therapeutic work allows many couples to emerge from counseling stronger, more intimately connected, and happier in their marriages. Yes, infidelity can have a silver lining! Join us to learn:· How to rebuild trust and intimacy after betrayal.· Strategies for therapy when one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other doesn't.· The Two-Person System model and why it’s important in relationships and marriage.· Red flags and yellow flags to note when dating.· How to educate yourself on what will destroy your relationship and how to prevent those behaviors/attitudes from taking over your relationship.· The simple, but profound, recipe for a happy marriage.· The most important element therapists provide their clients.Jennifer shares wisdom and clinical examples from her 20 years of helping couples find hope and forgiveness, in order to forge a stronger, more intimate and satisfying relationship!

A few years ago, I met a young woman in her late twenties. As we began chatting, she shared she was going through a divorce. Her ex was addicted to OxyContin—a prescription pain medication. Fast forward a few years, and I learned some startling and terrifying facts—that in 2014, my home state of Ohio led the nation in deaths from heroin overdoses and in 2016, it earned this same distinction from opioid overdoses. I had no idea what was going on, but I suspected that diagnostic inflation and Big Pharma played a role. (For more on why I came to this conclusion, please listen to my interview with Dr. Allen Frances in episode 22). So, when I came across Sam Quinones’ book, Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic, I knew I wanted to invite him to the program to help us understand how the Heartland became America’s hotspot of heroin and opioid addiction. In our conversation, Sam describes:· The “perfect storm” that moved heroin from the fringe to the suburbs.· How a letter to the New England Journal of Medicine morphed into a “landmark study” which changed the way medical professionals viewed opioids, addiction, and pain management.· The connection between prescription pads and black tar heroin.· How the fraying social fabric and breakdown of communities relate to the rise in drug addiction.· The striking similarities in the marketing strategies of Big Pharma and black tar heroin drug traffickers.Join us as author Sam Quinones explains this tragic rise of prescription opioid abuse and heroin addiction. If you’re like me, you’ve wondered how this happened—Sam provides answers and solutions.

One topic I haven’t covered extensively is sex. So, when life coach Laurie Gerber reached out requesting to appear on the show to share her slightly controversial philosophy about sex, I figured it was high time we delve into this important element of love and life! Laurie specializes in marriage and relationship coaching and has appeared on Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and the TODAY show. Join us to learn:· Her philosophy on sex which rekindled the spark in her 20+ year marriage.· How Laurie’s feminist ideology impacted her sex life.· The mantras that eroded the romance in her marriage.· Lies we tell ourselves which impede our goals and dreams.· Questions to ask yourself when you’re dating with purpose.· The critical difference between dating expectations and standards.No matter what your relationship status—single, dating exclusively, or married—Laurie’s candid account and wise counsel will inform and inspire you!Laurie's special offer for Love & Life listeners:Get Started with your LOVE&LIFE75 coupon at: https://bit.ly/0520LL-iu

I get a LOT of questions about how to recover from a relationship with a narcissist. So this topic is one I’ve wanted to address for quite a while. I’m so pleased to welcome psychologist Dr. Annie Kaszina to the program to share not only her professional expertise, but also her personal journey of marrying and then divorcing a narcissist. Dr. Kaszina delves into:· How strong, independent, accomplished women fall in love with and stay with narcs.· The red flags narcissists wave—despite their best efforts to dupe you!· Dr. Annie’s suggestion for discovering if the person you’re dating has narcissistic tendencies.· Why pacing yourself in the early days of a relationship is imperative!· The power of self-knowledge as it relates to narcs.· How to take back control after being with a narcissist.· Co-parenting when your ex is a narcissist.· The identity some women take on when they’ve been with a narc.In this episode, as in her book, Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband? Dr. Kaszina assures us that we CAN rebuild our lives in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse and we CAN move forward empowered, emboldened, and equipped to select a husband as carefully as we’d pick a pup!Get a free chapter of Dr. Annie’s book here: https://recoverfromemotionalabuse.com/lp-dog

Wouldn’t it be great if science could give us the straight facts on dating? Well actually, it does! When on the dating scene herself, psychologist Dr. Duana Welch, looked to psych research for guidance. She shares all she learned in her blog, Love Science, and in her Love Factually book series. Join us as we discuss:· Why men get so excited early in a relationship, but often lose interest just as quickly.· The different ways men and women experience situationships.· How sex causes you to bond—even when it’s just friends with benefits.· How to figure out if you’re too picky!· A powerful strategy if you’ve lost hope in love.· Why women love a man with a plan (and what this means for us when dating!)· What happens when men lose interest—spoiler alert, even they don’t know why!· How to present yourself as a “high status” woman—and why this is imperative when dating (also, it’s NOT about being arrogant or snooty!)· The different “mating psychology” of men vs. women.· The brain chemistry of a man as he’s falling in love.Learn how to “love smarter, not harder” by loving FACTUALLY!

We all want a great marriage, but how do we cultivate and maintain an extraordinary connection in the midst of life’s stressors and challenges? For over 30 years, Dr. Terri Orbuch has researched the habits and practices of happy couples (and unhappy ones) in her landmark National Institutes of Health (NIH) study. She joins me to discuss her book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, in which she shares simple, practical strategies from her longitudinal study including:- How to maintain realistic expectations without settling.- The no. 1 problem in marriages.- How happy couples communicate vs. unhappy couples.- The need men have which, when met, predicts they’ll be happy and content in their marriage—and no, we’re not talking about sex!- What factors make for the strongest marriages.- How to “trick your brain” to reignite the spark in your marriage.- The no. 1 topic daters should not discuss on dates!I put it this way on Instagram, “Marriage is great, but only if it’s a great marriage!” Join us to learn research-based tools and techniques to level up your marriage/relationship!

We’re kicking off Season 4 with a sneak peek into the audio version of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right, which launches in just a few weeks! You’re the first to hear it! I also discuss my inspiration for writing the book i.e. the incessant single shaming comments I received, irrational explanations for my single status, and my frustration with the standard dating/relationship self-help messages. I conclude the episode with a Love Smarter, Not Harder Q&A: In the beginning of a relationship, when we’re just getting to know each other, is it rigid and unreasonable to expect a guy to call when he says he will?

In this week’s episode, I’m super excited to share a BIG Love & Life announcement! Join me to be the first to hear the news! I also answer two listeners’ questions. “Ella” asks, “My boyfriend is from Venezuela and lives here under political asylum. We definitely experience some challenges due to our different cultural backgrounds. Also, he wants children and I don’t. I care for him deeply, but I’m not sure if I’m ‘in love.’” Given these realities, “Ella” wonders if their relationship can go the distance. The second question involves a man “Ginny” met on Plenty of Fish. After texting and calling for a while, he mentioned he’s been out of work due to Covid and asked her if she might be able to support him a bit. He’s from Norway so he doesn’t have family here to help him. She’s worried he might be out to take advantage of her—if he’s really who he says he is in the first place!

Growing up I used to ask my mom, “How will I know when I’ve met the right guy?” She replied with the answer so many of us heard, “You’ll just know.” But HOW do we “just know”? Will our hearts lead us in the right direction? What if our heart says, “Yes” but our head says, “No!” And, considering I almost married the wrong person (I called off my first engagement 2 months before the wedding #runawaybride), I apparently didn’t “just know.” That being said, I now have a unique vantage point—having been engaged to the wrong person and then engaged to the right one! To further explore this question, Dan joins me to discuss how we knew we were right for each other. We also examine psychologist Dr. Robert Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love which provides the most comprehensive model of what Sternberg calls “Consummate Love” and what others call “the total package.” We wrap up the program answering a listener’s question about being ghosted by her boyfriend. Should she reach out? They’d had “the talk” about being exclusive! Isn’t she owed an explanation?

We’re all navigating uncharted waters—trying to stay physically safe and emotionally sound in the midst of a global pandemic. Psychotherapist Kate Lambie, LCPC, joins me to unpack six simple strategies for managing our mindset and maintaining our psychological wellbeing during Covid-19. We discuss 6 “Gs” (grounded in psych research and psychotherapeutic techniques) we can implement today to think and feel better NOW despite the uncertainty of these unprecedented circumstances! At the end of the program, I answer a listener’s question about dating standards—should they remain the same during this Coronavirus pandemic?