Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Welcome back to THE most downloaded episode of Season 2.  Our guest today, one of the foremost experts who studies how individuals and families develop and change throughout their lives, tells us that as we age, we regret not reconciling with family members we may be estranged or distant from. Today we welcome Dr. Karl Pillemer, Professor of Human Development at Cornell University, where he is also a faculty member in Cornell’s medical school. He is the author of the book: “Fault Lines, Fractured Families and How to Mend Them.” He is the author of several other remarkable books about love, relationships and aging.We are also welcoming a guest host - Stacie Lavato. Stacie is a long-time listener and reached out to us after we dropped the episode on understanding LGBTQ+ with Levi Teachey and Stacey Shigaya.  She wrote such a heartwarming email and the two of us connected.  Then, I learned that Stacy produces her own podcast called “Mindful Mama Conversations,” I listened to a few, and I liked her topics and her style, so I asked her to join me.The biggest “ah ha” moment for Stacie and I is when Dr. Pillemar mentioned “intergenerational stake.” We both had never heard of this - but it makes perfect sense. It is the generational bias in parents' and adult children's perceptions of their joint relationship.   Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Support us  P L E A S E! Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE Buy a mug: LINK HEREListen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify or wherever you find your fav podcasts!Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Happy Mother’s Day!   Today we are joined by two amazing moms with great advice for keeping our relationships with our adult children healthy, fun and spirited.    Also listen for some special Mother’s Day messages of support and advice from some young adults!  This will be an episode that will get you thinking, make you smile and lift you up.   We hope you enjoy it!  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Support us  P L E A S E! Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE Buy a mug:  LINK HERE Great Deal for Listeners! Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  There are also camis, underwear, leggings and much more! Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Street Interviews with Young Adults and Parents from Around the World!As the old saying goes, “the best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray.” That is exactly what happened.Denise's plan to visit Ellen in Prague took a turn when Ellen, then in Boston, tested positive for COVID just a few days before her planned trip to Prague for Denise's arrival.She thought she might join a few days later if she tested negative, but her mother, who lives in Wisconsin, took a fall and Ellen went to take care of her.  Denise and her husband, Kevin, spent 10 days in Prague in Ellen’s apartment... sadly, without Ellen. The episode we had planned, about Ellen's book, had to be cancelled!So, today we are sharing street interviews with parents and adult children that Denise conducted in Prague. We interviewed people from Germany, New Zealand, Great Britain, the US and more. We also include some interviews from New York City’s Central Park. We learned pretty quickly that some of the struggles parents have with their adult children are global issues. You will have to listen to learn more - it’s a fun episode!Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, who took what we gave her and made the episode quite special and unique.Support us  P L E A S E!  Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE. Buy a mug:  LINK HEREFollow up on our social media platforms:  Facebook   Instagram   TwitteSupport the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This episode digs deep.  Today we interview Daniel Maté,  who, with his father  Dr. Gabor Maté has been holding  highly engaging and popular workshops called “Hello Again - A Fresh Start for Parents and Their Adult Children." He points out that they do not call their workshops "a happy ending," instead it is a "fresh start."  Everyone's fresh start will look different and he talks about how to get there. Dr. Maté, Daniel's father is a renowned speaker and author who, as his website says: "weaves together scientific research, case histories, and his own insights and experience to present a broad perspective that enlightens and empowers people to promote their own healing and that of those around them."And that is what we hear from Daniel today.  How they work with parents and adult children and sort carefully this "intense, speedy relationship."  "Once you are an adult," he says, your relationship with your parents is a choice...that comes with risks, rewards and pitfalls."  This is not an episode with "answers," this is an episode to truly get you to think and examine so many aspects of yourself, your child-rearing and your adult children.   This episode will help you realize what is possible.Read more about Daniel and his father's book, the New York Times best selling book “The Myth of Normal.”   Link to Daniel's Mental Chiropractic Service and as an award-winning composer, lyricist, and playwright for musical theatre don't miss his podcast  --  Let’s Get Lyrical. Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!   Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HERESupport the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Disrespect.  We've all been there with our grown children.  The rolling of the eyes, the under the breath grunt and sometimes just complete disrespect.  Is it normal?  How do we react and handle it?Today we speak with Jennifer Williams who is the founder of Heartmanity and the Heartmanity Center, located in Bozeman, Montana. Her passion is to help people create thriving relationships. She  wrote a blog titled  “How to Deal with a Disrespectful Grown Child” and we thought well that’s a topic we’d all like to delve deep into. I don’t know about you, but I was a bit of a “know it all” in my early adult years and not always as respectful as I could have been to my own parents.  So why am I surprised when I get a bit of lip from my kiddos?  Well, let's find out.  She takes us deep into understanding our role, how to lead with empathy, set boundaries and build the relationship we all deserve.  She also offers and explains three key actions parents can take to stay connected and have a great relationship with their adult children - whatever age they are! We hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HERESupport the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Today we talk to Dr. Jefferey Berstien. He is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been helping children, teens, couples and families for over thirty years. He is the author of several books including his latest - now coming out in its third edition called 10-days to a Less Defiant Child. The articles he has written are numerous covering many subjects.  Because of his breadth of experience we thought we’d use this episode to ask Dr. Bernstein many of our listener questions.   We talk about disrespect, significant others, identifying if it's a struggle or are we or they choosing not to?   Identifying our own baggage and moving forward to really begin to establish a relationship that is strong and satisfying for all parties. Dr. Bernstein role plays with us to really help us find the right words.  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE. Buy a mug: LINK HEREFollow us on:   Facebook   Instagram   Twitter And remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Today we speak with Tracy Hargen who tells us about her journey to becoming a featured writer on so many topics for the popular website Grown and Flown.She helps us, with real ideas, for starting conversations with our adult children that are not just about their jobs and relationships, but work to build our relationship with them as adults.We talk about this article “We Absolutely Made the Right Choice to be Friends with Our Children.” and why this matters so much.  And even if you are starting late she says "Parenting is the ultimate friendship – you will always be bound by DNA to have a relationship but friendship is choice," with many suggestions for getting started.We talk about her son and his battle with mental health disease and how her family faced this journey.  This article she wrote exploded on Grown and Flown ranking as one of the top downloaded blog posts for the year!  Here is a link to the article. She talks about the picture that is featured with this story. We also talk about her article, What's Important Now? Now That my Children are Grown, What is My Purpose?  We discuss the questions we need to ask ourselves as we enter into this new stage of life.  There is so much more!  We loved chatting with Tracy and hope you will visit her site and read all of her blog posts - they resonated with us!Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com - share your ideas and thoughts about new episodes and topics!Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug: LINK HERESupport the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Before we get into this episode I want to remind listeners to sign up for this FREE "Graceful Empty-Nester" Virtual Conference.  It begins on February 19 and runs through Feb 28. There are featured experts with strategies to reconnect with your children, heal relationships and inspire a future of connectivity!  You can listen to one two or all of them! Denise is one of the guests and shares some of the bests pieces of advice from all of our 40+ episodes.   Link her to grab your front seat!Today we are replaying a wonderful episode about religion and spirituality.  Just passing a few major religious holidays we thought it would be important to re-visit our feelings about our adult children and their religious choices. How many of you struggled to get your adult child to attend religious services or maybe you are worried about your grandchild having any religious upbringing. Whatever your concerns you will love this wonderful discussion with the Reverend Elizabeth P. Randall and Galit Pinksy Gottlieb. Elizabeth is the Rector at St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in Denver, Colorado.  She is a graduate of Smith College and Yale Divinity School and  was one of the first clergy in Denver to recognize and perform weddings for the LGBTQ community. She’s been happily married for over 30-years to someone who is Jewish. Together they have one daughter.   Since the interview, Elizabeth is now a grandmother to a wonderful grandson named Frank. Galit, who practices Conservative Judaism, served as a Synagogue Cantor for many years. She is also an author as well as a mother and the wife of a Jewish scholar. Her children were raised in the Jewish tradition and now are all in long-term relationships with non-Jewish partners.So many journeys to understand, learn and accept.  We think both Elizabeth and Galit offer support, understanding and some brilliant and thoughtful ideas and approaches.Galit is also an author of a wonderful mystery book series called the Whipped and Sipped Mysteries.  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Don't underestimate how much the people who come after you are going to know about you!  Today, our guest is Erik Vance.  He is an award-winning story-teller and New York Times editor based in Boulder, Colorado. (lucky guy).  We came upon an article he wrote called:  "How I Time-Travel to Parent My Adult Son." When we started to read it really had nothing to do with adult kids, but then it did.Backstory:   Vance says: “Once a year I record a brutally honest conversation for my little boy. " He says (and we confront him on this) that is doing it now because he thinks he is more interesting at this age than in 20 years!  We don't think so!Our Adult Kids and Grandkids:   it is never too late and don’t  underestimate how much the people who come after you are going to want to know about you.  Think about it.  If you could listen to your mother or father NOW and hear how they felt when you were a young adult - wouldn't you savor it?If you could hear the voices of your grandparents and learn more about their journey  - what a gift!I think all of us agree that we would love to hear the voices and experiences of our parents and grandparents - honest talk about their lives and struggles --  and as Erik said it can only help them feel like they can do it too.It's not too late. We are going to give it a shot and hope that this interview with Erik encourages many of our listeners to do the same,Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREShapermint: 20% off with the code biteyourtongue at checkoutSupport the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This is the  most requested topic by our listeners!We talk to Dr. Mark McConville,a Clinical Psychologist and author of the book - “Failure to Launch,” Why Your Twentysomething Hasn’t Grown Up….What to Do About It. Dr. McConville is an expert in adolescent psychology and his groundbreaking book comes at a time when 2.2 million young adults in America are struggling to find their way in the world.We talk about the root cause of the problem, why modern young adults are failing to launch in record numbers and the three critical skills necessary to make the transition from childhood to adulthood. He mentions the old adage of "benign neglect" and we found this article about this and the author says: "I think children are just like hearty houseplants — they should be watered liberally and you should ensure they get ample sunshine. But otherwise, just let them be."Do we love too much?Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE (only 5 BUCKS and it means alot!)Buy a mug:  LINK HEREFollow up on our social media platforms:Facebook   Instagram   TwitterAnd remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.