Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

We're thrilled to be joined by Julie Lythcott-Haims, the author of "How to Raise an Adult" and "Your Turn." As a former dean at Stanford University, Julie offers a unique lens to view the nuanced world of parenting, and the perils that lurk within the shadows of over-involvement. This captivating episode is a deep dive into the challenging world of raising children into responsible adults. Julie illuminatingly discusses the societal pressures that implore parents to hover, the pitfalls of over-parenting, and her expert insights on striking the crucial balance between supporting and empowering young adults.From discussing the financial struggles of young adults and the potential solution of multi-generational living, to the consequential impact of the political climate on their decision-making, we're crossing a vast expanse of challenges. We stress the importance of treating adult children as independent adults, setting boundaries, and open communication. We also delve into the nitty-gritty of different parenting styles, from authoritative to neglectful, underscoring the significance of being an authoritative parent who sets rules while demonstrating love and care. As our children grow into adults, we discuss transitioning to a more supportive and consultative role and offering practical parenting advice. This episode is packed with profound insights and practical advice, promising to be an engaging, insightful, and enlightening discussion on raising responsible adults. So, hit the play button and let's reshape the future of our relationships with adult children together!Link to HOW TO BE AN ADULT TED TALK WITH JULIE.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

We had a fantastic time chatting with the talented author and journalist, Jessica Grose, who helped us understand the intricate landscape of parenting today and how she fares as a young adult.  We talk about how we can support our young adult children today.   Her book, Screaming on the Inside, the Unsustainability of American Motherhood, is both an historical look at motherhood and a sounding alarm on the state of motherhood today.  She acknowledges that one major change in society could make a big difference for parents today.  Do you think you know what it is?Jessica Grose is an Opinion Writer for The New York Times and if you have not read her articles - you must subscribe now.  She brings two sides to this interview.  The side of a young mother balancing career and family and  being a young adult.  She wrote an article for The New York Times titled “Your Mom is Destined to Annoy You: how to manage your inevitable holiday regression,” and then after the height of COVID, when folks started traveling again, she wrote an article titled “The Return of the Holiday Season Agita.”  In  today's episode we talk about it all.  Jess is truly  one of the most grounded  young adults I've spoken with in a long time. I told her this in the interview and she takes an educated guess as to why she is this way.  We talk about how motherhood has changed over the years but also how it has stayed the same.  You will be surprised to hear a quote she shares from The New York Times Parenting columnist Catherine Mackenzie from 1939.  Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Today's episode we speak with the "Godmother of Silicon Valley,"  Esther Wojcicki.  If you have not heard of her - you must listen to this episode. She is the author of the best selling book "How to Raise Successful People - Simple Lessons for Radical Results" She's as expert no doubt because she has raised three enormously successful daughters including Susan Wojcicki,  who was the CEO of Youtube from 2014 to 2023. Janet Wojcicki, a professor of Pediatrics and Anne Wojcicki, co-founder and CEO of 23 and Me.How does this relate to our adult children?  She talks about a strategy she calls TRICK – Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration and Kindness.Each of these are essential in our relationships with our adult children.  She gives advice to those listeners who are grandparents and also a general overview of the challenging world we are all in today.  What is our role?  How schools are failing our kids and once again the role of over-involment in our children’s lives and how this impacts their journey in life.Hear her thoughts on nature vs nurture and much more.Thank so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer.  Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

 This is a not to be missed episode!We talk to Dr. Gene Beresin, Executive director of The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH), a full professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and senior educator in child and adolescent psychiatry at MGHHis 40-years of experience working with youth and young adults has given him an enormous breath of knowledge. And, in addition to his professional life, he's learned quite a bit about building healthy relationships with adult children, since he is a father of four with nine grandkids! He tells us that almost all of them moved home after college or between college and grad school. He says that they all have kids -- making family relationships complex, but incredibly rich and rewarding. You will have to listen for more! A sampling of the topics:Work-life balance.Boomerang Kids (a listener question).Which generation is the loneliest and most entitled? AI, robots -- our adult kids and the future.Racism.How socioeconomic status plays into relationships with adult children.Our expectations and impulse control.Gap years - and more.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Struggling with your adult kids?  Are they about to cut you out of their lives or you just want to build a stronger relationship?  We cover it all in this episode, where we speak with Dr. Joshua Coleman about two of his books:When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the ConflictDr. Coleman speaks with us about the shift in culture and parenting that has led to an alarming increase in adult children choosing to be estranged from one or both of their parents. These children are quick to blame parents for everything they see as not working in their own lives or holding them back from the life they want.With Dr. Coleman, we explore reasons behind that shift and the effects of how parents can and should respond for less conflict. How do we navigate estrangement from our adult children? Can we avoid it? And who is in the driver’s seat?Dr. Coleman shares his own personal experience with an adult child who chose to be estranged for a period of time, and how he was able to navigate that experience.Most importantly, Dr. Coleman shares the importance of taking care of ourselves through parenting our adult children while acknowledging that our relationships with our adult children may not be what we imagined.We welcome Kirsten Heckendorf, mother of three adult children as our guest host.A huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. #expectations #realizations #takingthehighroad #parentingadults #parenting #adults#mentalhealthSupport the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Today we speak with Kimberly Damon.  Kim, a certified life coach who wears a multitude of hats. Kim discusses the importance of finding a lesson in everything, practicing self-reflection and embracing acceptance. These themes highlight the transformative power of personal growth and understanding in relationships, particularly between parents and their adult children.Kim shares her own journey of experiencing estrangement with her children and parents, which compelled her to seek solutions and mend these fractured relationships.  She helps us learn to take responsibility for our own happiness and healing our emotions, while also recognizing that we are not alone in our struggles.We also talk about negative thoughts and how we sometimes develop these about ourselves or our relationships with our adult kids.  How to take charge of these thoughts and realize that sometimes they may not necessarily be true. This can lead to negative emotions and inaccurate perceptions of our circumstances.I promised a link to the video Kim's Empty Nest Conference where Denise was interviewed.  Link here to view.Here is a link to Kim’s website, her podcast, Midlife Worthy Moms;  and her work as an Enneagram Coach. Kim is also offering a FREE Thriving Workbook and 3-Part Video.  Just visit this link to sign up.Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer. Email us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know what you think.Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com to support us for as little as $5 andFollow up on our social media platforms:  Facebook   Instagram   TwitterAnd remember sometimes you have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

 On Mother's Day 2023, my daughter Catie sent me a link to a book and wrote, "the author and her mom would make great guests on your podcast."The book “What to Do When I’m Gone, A Mother’s Wisdom to her Daughter” sparked my interest. I ordered the book and loved it. I told my daughter I would love to do an episode with the authors of this book - as long as she was the guest co-host.  She agreed.So here we are, two adult children and two mothers talking about death.We talk to illustrator/writer Hallie Bateman and her mom, retired journalist Suzy Hopkins on navigating the world without the person who gave you life. We discuss the sometimes difficult relationships with mothers and daughters, preserving memories and family history and the ups and downs of their collaboration.It's a funny, fun and thoughtful episode that I think anyone with adult sons or daughters would enjoy. Hallie tells us that many readers wrote that the book inspired them to build stronger relationships with their sons, daughters, relatives, friends – even pets.And they have another book on the way - What to Do When You Get Dumped! Suzy shares the personal story that inspired this book.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer.  Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes! Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

In this episode, we talk to Dr. Laurence Steinberg about his new book - You and Your Adult Child:  How to Grow Together During Challenging Times.He brings us a whole new perspective. Touted as the first comprehensive guide for parents navigating the crucial decades of their children's lives, we explore everything so many issues. We delve into the complexities of the parent-adult child relationship and discuss the challenges and changes that come with this stage of life.Steinberg shares valuable insights on topics such as setting boundaries, fostering autonomy, and navigating financial support. We explore the impact of societal changes on the parent-adult child dynamic and how to build a positive relationship during this crucial phase.It's a must-listen for anyone seeking to strengthen their relationship with their adult children or gain a deeper understanding of this unique stage of life.We cover many topics ranging from  whether you should be involved in your child’s college education, how to behave when they unexpectedly must move back home, how to state your opinion on their romantic partners, what to do when you disagree with the way they are raising their own child, and what parameters to apply if you want to give them money for a specific reason.  Steinberg helps us understand the challenging climate our young adult children are navigating and how we can be supportive yet not intrusive.  He offers some real tools and new ideas about navigating this journey.  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer.  Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes! Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5, you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

It's June and that is typically wedding season.  So we thought we'd combine our two wedding episodes into one BEST OF THE BEST.  You will hear first from fAleigh Huston-Lyons, a therapist and coach at AisleTalk: Consultation & Therapy.  A boutique practice devoted to helping brides and grooms cope with the stresses that arise during wedding planning and anticipation of marriage. From engagement and finances to the invite list and drama, Aleigh puts in all in perspective. Social media has taken a toll on weddings and learn how Aleigh gives some sound advice on keeping it all under control.Next we welcome Michelle Martinez, who is not only a Certified Wedding Consultant, with more than 20 years in the wedding and events industry, but also the creator and host of the world's mosts popular wedding podcast - The Big Wedding Planning Podcast. With 300 episodes under her belt and nearly three million downloads, she's been around the block a few times!It seems to all come back to what Julie Dolan told us in our grand-parenting episode about being the loving and loyal servant.If you are in the stages of wedding planning and don't have the budget for a big time wedding planner, Michelle now offers a masterclass on her website.  A tiny percent of what a full wedding planner would cost.  Check it out her Master Class offer here.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer who did her very best in editing, cutting and splicing these two episodes together! Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

It's Pride Month and we are taking a second look at the LGBTQ+ community.We have two guests.  The first is Linda K. Reeves,  a licensed marriage and family therapist certified as a gender specialist by the  World Professional Association for Transgender Health.  She is the founder of Linda K. Reeves Therapy. Her therapy utilizes her clinical  skills in the treatment of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, gender non-binary, questioning, and queer identified individuals.  Her recent article in Good Housekeeping, "How to Support Your LGBTQ+ Kid When He, She or They Come Out," got our attention.  We talk to her about this and well as what it means for a young person to come out to their family and friends.  We discuss how to respond to your child or friend and what to say and what not to say.  We also talk about the current continued discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community, We switch gears entirely when we welcome a Tik-Tok sensation - JannaTransMomma.   (she explains the unusual spelling of mamma).  Janna is a a single mom to a trans child named Cody.  She’s been identified as a key influencer on Tik-Tok (love it or hate it) for making a real difference for trans youth.  She gives us a quick 101 lesson on what it means to be transgender, how to support your child and/or friends or family.  Janna shares some of the scary statistics about trans people and suicide.  Acceptance, she says, will save a life. She is honest about the mistakes she made on her journey and is funny, delightful and very knowledgeable.  She shares these sites for additional resources:   Pflag:  plfag.org Rainbow Youth Project : RainbowYouthProject.org and Uplift Outreach Center:  UpliftOutreachCenter.orgThanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us :  Visit Biteyourtonguepodcast.com for many ways to keep us going!Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.