Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

What happens when your sweet, funny, smart, enthusiastic child turns out to have a mental illness? Where do you go for help? Who do you turn to for advice? And what if those institutions and experts fail you and more importantly, fail your young adult? What happens when everywhere you look for help or support you come up disappointed and alone? In today’s episode we hear from a couple whose family, much like any of ours, has been turned upside down because of a drastic change in their son’s mental health, subsequent drug issues, and the failure of our mental health systems that we assume are trained well enough to handle these challenges.It is a silent struggle we bring a voice to today.   The Holtons bear their souls, recounting their son Patrick's descent from youthful athleticism to one ensnared by the clutches of dextromethorphan abuse.  Sometimes called Robo-Tripping.  The drug of choice is Robitussin, easily accessible over the counter to just about anyone.Their narrative addresses the sometimes treacherous waters of the healthcare system, the cold reality of guardianship rights, and the isolation that so often accompanies mental health crises.The Holten share their story in hopes that it will help other families with a young adult facing similar challenges.  They suggest support networks such as NAMI and and the necessity of perseverance when confronting mental illness and substance abuse. Their experiences shed light on the significance of seeking the right medical advice, staying the course despite heartbreak, and cherishing the moments of joy amidst the pain. Links: https://www.nami.orgA big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Send your thoughts to biteyourtongue@gmail.com and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support us with a donation as little as $5 (purchasing a “virtual” cup of coffee).  Or joining our squad with a year's membership as low as $5 per month.  Link here now:  SUPPORT US.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This episode will defy nearly everything we've talked about over the past few years.Our guest Jeffrey Arnett, Ph.D is renowned for proposing coined the theory and term “emerging adult” in the early 2000’s.   He characterizes this stage of life by exploration, instability, and boundless optimism.But when we talk about technology, sex, and societal patterns he outwardly rejects much of the current research and tells us why. We take a look at how things have changed since his original book in 2013 Getting to 30: A Parent’s Guide to the 20-Something Years to his latest book Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from Late Teens Through the Twenties.  What we talk about:Significant changes that have occurred over the past decade. We tackle the topic of sex and how the current generation's approach to it has evolved. We get to the digital world and how completely disagrees with much of the so-called research and its lack of firm causation results.He also offers some advice for staying connected to your young adults and leaves us with an optimistic view.He discusses the historical pattern of societal issues and how they played out in past generations (including ours!) And we touch on our grandchildren’s generation and the recent Los Angeles Times article “Millennials Gave Birth to ‘Generation Alpha.’ Are these kids already doomed?” Our takeaway is that maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to stereotype any generation. Maybe we allow them to come out of the emerging adulthood stage as fully realized adults and they will prove all the naysayers wrong. Listen and let us know what you think.A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Send your thoughts to biteyourtongue@gmail.com and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support us with a donation as little as $5 (purchasing a “virtual” cup of coffee).  Or joining our squad with a year's membership as low as $5 per month.  Link here now:  SUPPORT US.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

When we think of Mother's Day, we often envision breakfast in bed or a sweet card, but the truth is, the gifts that mothers cherish most are the bonds they share with their children, no matter their age. That is what we hear today from our guests. Mary Dell Harrington and Lisa Heffernan. They are the founders of Grown & Flown, the very popular website and social media stops. Together, we unpack the transition from managing a bustling household to adapting to an 'empty nest', and how this shift doesn't mean the end of parenting, but the beginning of a new chapter.We get a behind the scenes look at how they started, what is the most valuable advice they've learned and what they see on the horizon.We talk about so much including:Adapting different strategies for each child's unique needsSignificance of Mother's Day to many and how to set clear expectationsMulti-generation living and why taking the failure out of "failure to launch" is so importantHow the pandemic has re-shaped our understanding of family living situations.Complexities of financial support and how to handle itSpirituality, mental health and so much more.Grown and Flown LinksLink here for College Admissions: Grown and Flown membership helps parents through the college admissions process. Sign up for theirnewsletter here.  Link here to join their community o parents of teens, college students, young adults.  A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Send your thoughts to biteyourtongue@gmail.com and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support us with a donation as little as $5 (purchasing a “virtual” cup of coffee).  Or joining our squad with a year's membership as low as $5 per month.  Link here now:  SUPPORT US.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This episode dives deep into resilience.  We talk to a resilience expert and parenting coach about how to build resilience - in ourselves and our adult children. Why do we sometimes look at the bad and forget to remember and be grateful for the positive?  Our guests explain that neuroscience tells us that we are programmed to look at the negative and much more difficult to remind ourselves of the positives.  We discuss the  process that involves building our resilience muscles, such as positivity, confidence, and creativity.  Our guests are Linda Hoopes, founder of the Resilience Alliance , a licensed psychologist whose professional work focuses on resilience.   Joining Linda is Kris Burbank, a parenting coach for all stages of life to enhance their skills as professionals, parents, and partners. Together they co-authored the book, Embracing Another Normal: Resilience Stories and Strategies for Raising Children with Disabilities.Though originally targeted for parents of families with children with disabilities, the book has grabbed the attention of all parents struggling to find their strength in parenting as their children move through life into young adulthood.Their book begins with this quote from Winnie the Pooh to Christopher Robin:“Promise me you’ll always remember.  That you’re braver than you believe and stronger than you seem.  And smarter than you know.”   A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Send your thoughts to biteyourtongue@gmail.com and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support us with a donation as little as $5 (purchasing a “virtual” cup of coffee).  Or joining our squad with a year's membership as low as $5 per month.  Link here now:  SUPPORT US.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Maybe you've recently read these headlines in the New York Times or The Wall Street Journal."Well Into Adulthood and Still Getting Money From Their Parents.   Nearly 60% of parents provide financial help to their adult kids, a new study finds." WSJ"Parents Are Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives, and Fine With ItNew surveys show that today’s intensive parenting has benefits, not just risks, and most young adults seem happy with it, too." (NYT)What you didn't know is that these articles  just covered a small bit of the extensive 2024 Pew Research study titled Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood. The Pew Research Center is a non-partisan "fact tank" that helps inform the public about issues, attitudes and trends shaping our world. Today, we go behind the scenes to chat with one of the lead researchers on the study, Rachel Milken, and uncover what those big headlines really mean.   We sort through the data helping listeners understand the stats and what the study really explores.  Tune in to learn more about key milestones for young adults today vs. 30 years ago, financial help and independence in young adulthood, how parents really think their kids are doing, relationships, advice and even living together (you will be surprised that it works for many families.  A big thank you to Connie Gorant fisher, our audio engineer and the look and feel of the podcast.  Send your thoughts and comments to biteyourtongue@gmail.com and we love to hear your ideas for future episodes. And follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Thank you to those of you who already support us. With a donation of $5 you can help keep us going. Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US. You can buy us a “virtual” cup of coffee or subscribe for a monthly subscription. Every bit helps. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Do you have a favorite child?  Maybe you think you don't but there are things you do or say that show something different. Today we delve into the much overlooked topic of sibling relationships.  We speak with Fern Schumer Chapman author o the book Brothers, Sisters, Strangers.  Siblings are the longest relationship we will have in our lives - and our children's.  They share our history our family and our story.  Chapman shares her personal life story that led her to write this book. We talk about sibling rejection and how that can lead to feelings of self-blame, questioning one's worth, and a sense of loss. Individuals may constantly ruminate on what went wrong and how they can mend the relationship, leading to a significant emotional toll. This ongoing emotional pain can be likened to a persistent toothache or a wound that refuses to heal.Chapman shares  risk factors that may cause sibling rifts and what our role as parents we  play.  By acknowledging these risk factors and perilous turning points,  research provides valuable insights into the complexities of sibling relationships. Understanding these factors can help individuals navigate and potentially reconcile with estranged siblings.We also identify when it is safer for siblings to separate and why. There is no question that sibling relationships serve as a blueprint for future relationships with friends, colleagues, and romantic partners. The qualities of tolerance, generosity, and loyalty instilled by siblings can influence how individuals navigate social interactions throughout their lives.  This episode helps us understand it all.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send ideas to biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

For today's episode we brought back Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo to discuss their new book "The Secret to Breaking the Conflict Cycle in Your Marriage," and to share their wisdom on maintaining strong connections in all our relationships - and that means with our adult kids too!We talk about  the need to actively engage in conflict resolution rather than avoiding or ignoring issues. (which most of us do!)By being intentional, individuals can identify the root causes of conflicts, understand their own triggers and reactions, and work towards constructive solutions.Intentionality involves setting clear goals for improving communication, understanding, and connection within relationships. It requires a commitment to addressing issues head-on and seeking resolution rather than letting conflicts fester.Some of the key points include:Being intentional and taking actionWords have powerKnowing yourself;  addressing  your own weaknesses Understand your conflict cycleThis one's all about strengthening relationships with your spouse and your adult child.  Tune in for some valuable insights and tips! #RelationshipsMatterRemember, it's never too late to work on your relationship and create a positive impact on your family and future generations.Visit One Extra-Ordinary Marriage website to review and download other free tools that  you will like.  Link to Conflict Cycle Workbook.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send ideas to biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference.Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Today we speak with the legendary Charles Fay, Ph.D. who, with his father Jim Fay and Dr. Foster W. Cline founded Love and Logic.  For many years parents have turned to Love and Logic for guidance for their young children.  It is a trusted research-driven, whole child approach to child-rearing.And now - guess what?  Dr. Fay is talking about how Love and Logic works for building healthy relationships with our young adult children!We talk about their new book coming out in March 2024 that includes a chapter on young Adults.  The book is titled, “Raising Mentally Strong Kids: How to Combine the Power of Neuroscience with Love and Logic and Grow Confident, Kind, Responsible, and Resilient Children and Young Adults”, written by neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Amen and Dr. Charles Fay. Dr. Fay explains:How the successful techniques  used with our toddlers and teens can now apply to our adult children. He outlines the five Steps of Empathy and how this helps free young adults to make their decisions  -- but also live with the consequences. How giving up our own control puts the power into our adult children’s hands What is the risk of setting them free? How can we set our own boundaries when needed and why it is important? By removing the chaos we create deposits into a healthier parent-adult relationship. Two important takeaways:“We can never consistently work harder on someone else’s life than they are”“The more words I use, the more ineffective I become”.  Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Send ideas to biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com.Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

In today’s episode Denise and Kirsten chat with renowned matchmaker Rachel Greenwald. Do you ever worry your adult child will never find a partner?  Do they spend too much time with their career rather than love?  Do you feel like they are always picking the wrong person?  Today we discuss whether parents should meddle in their adult child's dating life.  Greenwald offers insights about if, when, and how to navigate this tricky  issue that impacts the whole family.  We dig deep into the changing dating world that our adults are navigating. Greenwald explains the difference between a Dating Coach, a Matchmaker, and an Online Concierge.New York Times columnist David Brooks sparked debate about that after he published his column “To Be Happy, Marriage Matters More Than Career.”  Greenwald tells us why she agrees with Brooks and how the COVID Pandemic changed dating and relationships in a positive way.  She tells us how to approach the subject with our adult children using words that are nonjudgemental.Listen for more on:  Skills for dating today; how dating has become about gamification;  Does coming from a divorced or challenged family impact partner choices? She discusses other options for helping  your adult child in this area of their life including dating boot camps, podcasts and books.  We will share those  links in social media.We discuss dating for seniors too!  Remember to listen to the interesting podcast Behind the Swipe, exploring issues facing men and women over 40 navigating the confusing world of online dating.Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Today we discuss the sometimes difficult, yet rewarding relationships between mothers and daughters. We speak with Pam Tronson, parenting coach with a special certification in mother/daughter relationships. The connection between a mother and daughter is one of the strongest and most important family relationships. Accepting that it can be difficult and messy is key to being able to navigate the highs and lows. Bound by love we are often disappointed when our adult relationships with our daughters don’t meet the dream we had for  that relationship. Pam offers solutions to help us let go of control and worry and avoid resentment. She discusses how the shame we feel, about the perceived “failed” relationship can get in the way of the repair that is needed.Resolution only requires one person to change the trajectory of the relationship. And showing one another that they are worth the effort is impactful.Learning to practice self-care and to love yourself is the key to setting the necessary boundaries to build better, more meaningful relationships with our daughters. Asking the right questions of ourselves and our daughters will help guide productive conversations. What else could be true? Am I part of the problem or part of the solution? And learn to stop comparing ourselves and our relationships with our daughters to what we perceive others have. Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram.Support Us here:Sustaining member: Small donation once a monthA one-time virtual cup of coffee - $5Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com Support the show The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.