Savage Lovecast

Dr. Barak, a primary care physician and recurring medical expert at the University of Washington, tackles some wild listener questions. He discusses how to safely explore fear as a kink and clarifies why using a bidet won't cause more urination. The conversation shifts when Matthew Kane, creator of the BigDickBookClub, joins to chat about the differences in erotica for men versus women, while AI-generated smut takes an amusing hit during a live reading. The duo also dives into the healing potential of kink after trauma.

Enter to win a free Magnum subscription at savage.love/survey A gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he's having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it's distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido? A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends joke that she is "a boy on the inside." Her (and our) question is: What is wrong with these people??!! How can she get them to stop, and consider how misogynist this is? Our guest this week is Elise Loehnen, the New York Times bestselling author of "On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to be Good." She is also the host of the podcast, "Pulling the Thread." She and Dan talk about the role that envy plays in the scrutiny of women, slut shaming, lust, and how to work on our relationships with right-wingers. They had a lot to talk about! Some of it is on the Micro, the whole thing is on the Magnum. A woman's new boyfriend was sexually abused by his previous girlfriend. He felt pressured by her to have sex, and it's resulted in his being unable to get hard for the caller. She worries her own excitement will be interpreted as pressure. How can they create safe, loving intimacy as he gets over the previous toxicity? This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Got a Q? Dan's got an A. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project and high-volume producer of cultural neologisms. Santorum, pegging, GGG, tolyamory, monogamish! Dan came up with them and Dan can take them away.

A man in a poly triad has a girlfriend. His girlfriend has a boyfriend, and they all live together, share a dog, and plan to have kids. The caller and the other guy will be at a wedding full of normies who don't know the nature of their relationship. Should he just say they're a gay couple? Or explain the whole poly thing? He can't eat gluten. His boyfriend eats a lot of gluten. Can he eat his boyfriend's come? On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome back Gianmarco Soresi to the show. The stand-up comedian, shares tales of being a straight man in theater camp as a youth, and a straight man at Fire Island as an adult. He and Dan talk about how to be both a dom AND and a power bottom. And, here's a mind hack for gay actors who have to kiss a lady: pretend she is a watermelon. A man discovered his kinky side with his then-girlfriend. Now that they are broken up, he is sure to see her with her new boyfriend, a pillar in kink scene of their town. How can he learn to go to the munches with his head held high? This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Erika Lust.com -the world’s leading platform for ethical, cinematic adult films. Right now, my listeners get 45% off your subscription when you enter the code SAVAGE45 at erikalust.com. That’s Erika Lust with a K! This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit ⁠VB.Health⁠ when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. Fearlessly plumbing the depths of anal sex, fighting against the forces of jealousy, a champion for body positivity, and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has had a LOT to say, lo these many years. If only they would listen.

A married mother did some sex work in her younger, wilder days. She's turned on by money, so it seems obvious that she should be a findom. But the typical clientele prefer a younger woman to take their money. How can she get her middle-aged kink on? Meanwhile, a gay man thinks porn is boooor-rrinnng! It's unrealistic, predictable and repetitive. Is there anything good out there? Sometimes you get questions that can only be answered by a porn star. Fortunately, Dan knows some! We are delighted to welcome John Thomas to the show. (You may know him as "Best Bottom of 2021") The extremely charming and visually compelling Thomas, helps answer questions about ethical porn production, the supply and demand differential between tops & bottoms, and the dark art of douching. A little of this gem is on the Micro, and the whole beautiful thing is on the Magnum. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now,  get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

A daughter grapples with her elderly father's online scam situation—should he go to the police or seek counseling? A youthful gay man wrestles with feeling uncomfortable in the dating scene due to his boyish looks. A concerned mother seeks advice on guiding her teens toward ethical porn, with expert Erika Lust lending her insights on porn consumption. Finally, a provocative discussion unfolds over whether having visible come on one's face constitutes a consent violation. Get ready for a blend of humor, advice, and edgy topics!

E. Jean Carroll, a fearless journalist and author known for taking on Donald Trump in court, joins the conversation. She shares her insights on the courage it took to confront Trump and how it affected her intimate life. The discussion dives into the comical yet serious topic of what gay men might do with vibrators. A listener's dilemma about unwanted pregnancy leads to a broader conversation on mental health and intimacy. Carroll's humor and wisdom shine as she reveals an advice columnist's secret hack.

A cute gal seeks advice on becoming a more convincing dom by tapping into psychology. A newly out pan man grapples with his pubic hair while exploring gay culture. Novelist Kashana Cauley discusses the pleasure of dystopian fiction in today’s world and tackles topics like student debt and boundaries in kink. Plus, an androgynous person navigates the gay cruising scene, while listeners reflect on the complexities of intimacy in LGBTQ+ relationships and the authenticity of human expression versus AI-generated erotica.

A gay man's app profile raises eyebrows with its bluntness about not wanting sex workers. Discover how a woman's creativity transformed her marriage via an OnlyFans account for one fan—her husband! Explore the humorous invasion of straight families into a clothing-optional queer space, sparking a discussion about the essence of gay spaces. A listener grapples with the secret of his multiple vasectomies—should he share this with his current wife? The chat dives into AI's impact on erotica and the evolving landscape of human desire.

A woman weighs the ethical dilemmas of financial domination after a lucrative but troubling experience. A gay man grapples with unexpected feelings for a teasing colleague, fearing the loss of their friendship. In a hilarious twist, a listener's dog munches on her vibrator, prompting expert advice on replacements. The conversation dives into the complexities of sexual dynamics, relationships, and the importance of consent, while also touching on personal stories that highlight the messy, humorous side of intimacy.

A man discovers an Airbnb guest's vibrator and wonders how to handle the awkward situation. A listener grapples with sharing past advice after a year-long relationship that defied previous counsel. Dan discusses with author Melissa Febos about a year without sex and the ways sexuality shapes identity. A trans man seeks advice on balancing his desires in a relationship. The show tackles open relationships, emotional compatibility, and the challenges of expressing kink while navigating societal norms.