Savage Love Episode 1003

Jan 27, 2026

A messy poly love triangle complicated by one indifferent cat. A romance between an 81-year-old widow and her younger gardener and the moral fallout. A comedian faces frank questions about sex and identity. A divorced woman experiments with anonymous hookups and friends debate the ethics of invented personas.

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ANECDOTE

Sex Subreddit Turns Political After Tragedy

Dan describes checking r/massivecock and finding posts suddenly opposing ICE after a murder in Minneapolis.
He uses this to show how unexpected communities can mobilize politically and express solidarity.

ADVICE

Don't Weaponize A Cat's Favoritism

Stop trying to control a cat's favoritism; it's normal animal behavior and not a relationship problem.
Focus on the strong poly relationship you already have instead of generating unnecessary drama.

ADVICE

Asexuality Is A Spectrum And A Valid Identity

Asexuality covers a spectrum from no sexual attraction to low desire, and identity can be protective for some.
Ace people may still masturbate or have sex for non-sexual reasons and can be aromantic or romantically interested.

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Have we reached peak poly drama? A queer woman has been open with her male live-in partner, having lots of great sex with him and others. The problem? His cat won't pay any attention to her. She doesn't feel jealous of the humans in their lives, but this cat!

A widowed 81 year-old woman has taken up with her 56 year-old gardener. But he went and confessed to his priest who told him to cut it out. Should she try to convince him to keep loving her up?

On the Magnum, enter Eric Williams, comedian and host of That’s A Gay Ass Podcast. Dan torments his very homosexual guest by asking him to answer a question about cunnilingus. Also discussed: What made them gay? And here's a PSA: Please leave the actors of Heated Rivalry alone.

And, ethical dilemma ahoy! A divorced woman with kids is enjoying her Cumspringa- hooking up with lots of men and having a great time. She makes up personae for herself, withholding her real name, her job, or that she has kids. Her friend thinks this is immoral and that she should come clean about who she is to her lovers. What do you think? What do you think Dan will say?

What Dan says...may shock you.

Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.