PublishedJan 09, 2024Do you find goals motivational or defeating? Does all the hubbub around the first of the year feel fresh or frustrating? In this conversation with professional goal coach Abbie Schiller, we unpack all the reasons that setting goals makes us groan, and why it doesn't have to be that way. Instead we can look at goals as a framework that moves us forward to create better lives.Abbie and I also discuss what happens when you don’t meet your goals, how to identify the obstacles that get in our way, and how to get unstuck when your “new year new self” aspirations meet the reality of carpool and errands.Learn more about Abbie Schiller Follow Abbie Schiller on IGAbbie's "Change One Thing" webinar FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE MENTIONED in this episode:Jonathan FieldsHow To Live A Good Life by Jonathan FieldsThe Good Life Project PodcastSUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookJOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection GroupSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN the Secret Stuff PatreonBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2023 was an unexpected roller coaster for me, both personally and professionally.  I'm sharing 10 things I've learned in the last twelve months, from losing money in my business to a mistake I made in my parenting.  This episode is one of my favorites that I put together each year because it forces me to take a clear look at what's working and what's not in my life. I hope it's helpful to you to hear someone else process through some of these things as we start a new year together.  Happy 2024!   FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE   MENTIONED in this episode: Episode 174: 3 Things I’ve Learned While Working With a Business Coach (A Conversation with Retha Nichole) Basecamp Secret Stuff Patreon    SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TWO HUNDRED EPISODES! It's a milestone worth celebrating.  We're going back to the roots of the show and asking ourselves, What is the ONE thing you would tell? Not 10 Things. Not 3 things. But the most important message you would share with others if given a pen, a keyboard, or a microphone.  I share the ONE thing that I want impart to others, and I'm joined by more than a dozen past guests of 10 Things To Tell You sharing their ONE thing.  Thanks for being here. Happy 200!  - So grateful for my special guests in this episode: Anne Bogel from What Should I Read Next? Emily P Freeman from The Next Right Thing Andrew Och is the First Ladies Man Kaytee Cobb from Currently Reading Bethany Winters Sarah Stewart Holland from Pantsuit Politics Mary Marantz from the Mary Marantz Show Dr. Christine Koh from Edit Your Life Meredith Monday Schwartz from Currently Reading Shawn Smucker  Miss Freddy professional photo organizer Elizabeth Passarella author of It Was An Ugly Couch Anyway Retha Nichole Business Coach Lindsay Lawler singer and soul sister Beth Silvers from Pantsuit Politics    FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE   MENTIONED in this episode: The Final Episode of Sorta Awesome Episode 472: Awesome Ever After Ep 194: On Endings and Intuition (with Meg Tietz) Episode 150: 10 Things To Tell You     SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's one of my favorite conversations of the year!  I love books. I love lists. I love the end of the year. So naturally I LOVE the annual Best Books of the Year conversation with my real life book club friends Yasmin Dunn and Stephanie Newman-Smith.  We're back together for our SIXTH annual Best Books of the Year conversation. This one felt a little different from year's past because in 2023 we chose to do a mid-year episode called Best Books of the Year (So Far). In Episode 179 from back in June, we talked about many of the big, buzzy books that released in the first half of the year, which let us share other favorites in this year-end conversation.  LISTEN TO US DISCUSS THE BOOKS WE DIDN'T LIKE IN 2023 ON PATREON I hope you enjoy this monster episode!  Follow @yasminheartsbooks on IG Follow @stephanie_hypen on IG   FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE   SPONSORS: Lume // Go to LumeDeodorant.com and use code YOU for 40% off your starter pack BetterHelp // Go to BetterHelp.com/YOU for 10% off your first month   JOIN THE SECRET STUFF BOOK CLUB HERE   Laura’s Best Books of the Year: Shark Heart by Emily Habeck  We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman  Spare by Prince Harry  The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler  Search by Michelle Huneven  Happiness Falls by Angie Kim  How To Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told by Harrison Scott Key Hey Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and Other Lies Behind Multi-Level Marketing by Emily Lynn Paulson  How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix    Yasmin’s Best Books of the Year: You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith  Holly by Stephen King  The Center by Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi  Hot Springs Drive by Lindsay Hunter    Stephanie’s Best Books of the Year: Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano (mutual best pick)  The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store by James McBride  Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett  The Humans by Matt Haig    Also Mentioned: Smartest Person in the Room series with Yasmin Little Women by Louisa May Alcott  Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano  Friends, Lovers and the Big, Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry  The Color of Water by James McBride  Deacon King Kong by James McBride  Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah  Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King  Misery by Stephen King  It by Stephen King  11.22.63 by Stephen King   Thursday Murder Club Series by Richard Osman  American Gods by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett  Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro  The Best Minds by Jonathan Rosen    SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's my favorite time of year! Not because of the holiday season, but because I love getting reflective, looking back over the last twelve months and looking ahead to changing of the calendar.  The 10 questions in this episode are meant to bring introspection (if you work through them alone) and connection (if you bring them up in conversation). Bring these to your journal, to your travel companions, to the holiday table, or just let them flow through your mind in these last few weeks of the year as we wind down 2023 and gear up for 2024.  FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE   MENTIONED in this episode: 10 Questions for Starting Over 10 Questions To Ask Yourself in the Middle of Anything Journaling for Grownups Laura on Instagram   SPONSORS: Daily Harvest // Go to DailyHarvest.com/TellYou for up to $65 off your first box Betterhelp // Go to BetterHelp.com/YOU for 10% off your first month Uncommon Goods // Go to UncommonGoods.com/YOU for 15% off your order   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is for anyone who loves a teenager.  I'm the mom of a teenager and a preteen, and cultural norms and expectations have definitely shifted from my own childhood in the 80s & 90s. Sometimes I feel like I'm learning modern manners alongside my kids instead of teaching them from a place of authority.  My guest Brooke Romney believes that the only thing harder than parenting a modern teen is being a modern teen. In this episode, Brooke and I talk about a few of the rules that stuck out to me from her guide 52 Modern Manners for Today's Teens. This was a conversation I didn't even know I needed to have, and I loved it.  FULL SHOW NOTES HERE   Follow Brooke Romney on IG 52 Modern Manners for Today's Teens Volume 1 52 Modern Manners for Today's Teens Volume 2 52 Modern Manners for Kids     SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A few times a year, I like to let you listen in on the conversations we're having in the Secret Stuff patreon community. Each month we meet twice over zoom to talk about something culturally relevant (we call this Symposium) or to talk about books (a pretty traditional Book Club). This Secret Stuff meeting was a bit of a mashup of the two.  When it was announced that icon and legend Britney Spears was releasing a memoir this fall, I knew it would make a splash in the publishing industry and in the celebrity world. And it did. The Woman In Me sold over a million copies in it's first week of release and there were a few bombshell's from the singer's life, most notably about her relationship with Justin Timberlake.  But what is just as fascinating about the content of the book is the way she chose to tell it, and that she was able to tell it at all. After 13 years in a conservatorship held by father, where everything she did was tracked and controlled, Britney is finally free to share her side of the story. As usual, the Secret Stuff community had smart, thoughtful, and compassionate takes on the memoir itself and on Britney's place in music history and our pop culture lexicon. To join in on our next Symposium meeting, JOIN SECRET STUFF NOW You can always check out a FREE TRIAL OF SECRET STUFF to see if it's for you.   FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE   MENTIONED in this episode: The Woman in Me by Britney Spears Tell Me Everything by Minka Kelly I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy The Meaning of Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey Takeaways from Britney Spears's memoir (NYT)   SPONSORS: Betterhelp // Go to BetterHelp.com/YOU for 10% off your first month Uncommon Goods // Go to UncommonGoods.com/YOU for 15% off your order   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I love memoirs. I love hearing other people's stories in their own words. And, of course, I champion the idea to Share Your Stuff.  But what if the story you need to tell is really difficult? What if it's hard to do justice to the truth while also protecting (or not protecting) other people? My guest for this conversation is author Carmen Rita Wong and she is sharing her own 4 rules to doing this well.  Carmen Rita Wong's memoir is called Why Didn't You Tell Me? and is a book about secrets and identity.  Learn more about Carmen Rita Wong Follow Carmen Rita Wong   FULL SHOW NOTES HERE   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is for anyone who has asked themselves why they're so invested in what is clearly outrageous, manipulative, and phony "reality" television shows.  I watch Real Housewives every weekday on my lunch break, and as I've gone through phases of watching with both fascination and disgust, I’ve asked myself: why do smart people love dumb tv? What is it that we’re drawn to? Why do we get so sucked into the drama? Is it aspirational or escapism or something darker or is it just not that deep?  And so I decided to explore that topic with the perfect guest: Matt Marr, cohost of the Reality Gays podcast. In this episode, Matt and I talk about our history of reality tv watching (starting with the Real World in the 90s), and we talk about how we think reality TV has changed culture, why we’re so invested in the lives of these reality TV personas, and so much more. We talked for over an hour and didn’t even scratch the surface of all that we could have discussed.  FULL SHOW NOTES HERE We do have an extended cut version of this episode over on the Secret Stuff patreon page, where Matt and I talk about our shared Oklahoma roots and I'll also be releasing a personal episode over there this week about my time working in reality television in the early 2000s.  For all that bonus material, SIGN UP FOR SECRET STUFF HERE.  You can listen more of Matt on the Reality Gays podcast  Follow Matt Marr on social media   SPONSORS: Uncommon Goods // Go to UncommonGoods.com/YOU for 15% off your order   MENTIONED in this episode: Instagram Christopher Ryan Stamey - @christopherryanstamey  90 Day Fiancé on TLC  Real Housewives franchise on Bravo  RuPaul’s Drag Race on MTV  Passions Soap Opera on NBC  The Real World on MTV Duck Dynasty on A&E  Bittersweet by Susan Cain Indian Matchmaking on Netflix  Love is Blind on Netflix Married at First Sight on Lifetime  Pig Royalty on Amazon Prime Video  Nanny 911, now on Amazon Prime Video  Doggy Fizzle Televizzle on MTV  Crowned on FOX  America’s Next Top Model on UPN/The CW  Joe Millionaire on FOX The Swan on FOX  90 Day Fiancé: The Last Resort on TLC  The Golden Bachelor on ABC    If you liked this episode you may like: Ep 189: About the Hollywood Strikes and How They Affect You   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Things To Tell You exists because Meg Tietz put a microphone in my hand nearly a decade ago when she launched the Sorta Awesome podcast and asked me to be a regular cohost. That invitation changed my life, along with the thousands of Sorta Awesome listeners who have been touched by Meg's words and wisdom for all these years.  Meg Tietz has long been a pioneer in the online space. She was one of the earliest mommy bloggers to build a large audience and one of the earliest independent podcasters in the girlfriend chat genre. I am lucky enough to have been friends with her since our childhood years in Oklahoma and have watched the way that she has shaped an entire corner of the internet.  Meg recently announced that she is bring the Sorta Awesome podcast to a close, and in our conversation here we reminisce about her online journey and talk about what it means to decide to end something that is going well, simply because you know it's time.  FULL SHOW NOTES HERE   Sorta Awesome episodes mentioned: Ep. 123: Intuition, Friendship, and The Future (from 12/1/2017) Ep. 26: The Truth About Anxiety, Part 1 (also known as the face shaving episode)( from 9/10/2015) Ep. 101: The Truth About Anxiety, Part 2 (from 5/19/2017) Ep. 54: Ten Friends Every Woman Needs (from 4/7/2016) Ep. 139: Resurrection: New Life on The Other Side of a Faith Shift (from 3/30/2018) Ep. 192: Heartbreak, Doubt, And Finding Faith Through The Storm (Rebekah speaks about miscarriage) (from 4/17/2019) Ep. 90: Exploring Hope and Healing for Postpartum Depression (from 2/24/2017) Ep. 56: Unpopular Opinions Ahead (A Group Show)! (from 4/21/2016) LISTEN TO THE FULL CATALOGUE of SORTA AWESOME     MENTIONED in this episode: Sorta Awesome cohost Kelly Gordon Sorta Awesome cohost Rebekah Hoffer Sorta Awesome Hangout (facebook group) Serial Podcast Voxer app   SPONSORS: Daily Harvest // Go to DailyHarvest.com/TellYou for up to $65 off your first box BetterHelp // Go to BetterHelp.com/YOU for 10% off your first month   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices