Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Why do people cheat, and how has the COVID-19 pandemic changed infidelity? Is it even possible to have an affair during a pandemic? And, is honesty always the best policy? Perhaps the answer isn’t as straightforward as society likes to presume. During her time working at Ashley Madison, Isabella Mise has learned that where there’s a will there’s a way. She has gained fascinating insights from conversations with hundreds of members who use the site regularly. As she says, people have affairs for a wide variety of reasons, especially during a pandemic—and these reasons are generally not what we think they are. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with Isabella Mise, the Communications Director at Ashley Madison, to discuss the pandemic’s impact on relationships and affairs. Isabella breaks down some of the common myths and stereotypes about infidelity and shares what the data says about why people cheat. She also explains how people are having affairs in the midst of a pandemic and some of the new infidelity terms to come out of the COVID-19 lockdown. Stay tuned!

What power do commitments hold over your life? Are they positive, negative, or something to fear? And, once you commit, do you feel like you have to stick with it, regardless of the cost? What if the price you pay is your own happiness? Commitments are highly valued in our society, and they can be a powerful tool to help us achieve our goals. But what if we’ve committed to an outdated version of our wants and needs? For many, commitments are seen as something we’re obliged to stick with, whether it’s in our best interest or not. So, how do we redefine commitment in a way that allows us to reap its rewards without limiting our potential happiness? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy shares how a commitment she made early on in her life caused her to feel miserable and trapped—and how she finally found the courage to overcome her fears and make a change. Dr. Murphy discusses how to stop equating change with failure, the various ways commitment is over-glorified in society, and why there is no magic reward for sticking to a commitment that no longer serves you. Stay tuned!

Most people don’t like conflict. In fact, many of us try to avoid it at all costs. When it comes to relationships, conflict is usually thought of as bad. But, what if conflict was actually a sign of a healthy relationship? CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke don’t shy away from conflict—in their relationship or in business. At their coaching and consulting company, Thrive! Inc., they encourage other couples, teams, and individuals to face their fears and break down the barriers to addressing healthy conflict. In their opinion, happy relationships are not always easy—and that’s okay. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke, relationship experts and the Co-founders of the coaching and consulting firm, Thrive! Inc. Listen in as CrisMarie and Susan help dispel common myths about conflict, share a 15-minute exercise that may just save your relationship, and explain how to do relationship math. The results might surprise you! Stay tuned.

There is often a lot of shame that comes with talking about sex. Am I sexy? Is my libido too high or too low? What if I can’t get my partner to orgasm? What if I can’t climax? Is it too kinky to introduce toys—or not kinky enough? Amy Baldwin deals with a lot of shame in her work as a sex educator and coach. But, she doesn’t think we should shy away from these intrusive thoughts; in fact, she says that ignoring our insecurities will only cause them to eventually bubble to the surface. Instead, Amy’s advice is to use that shame as a teacher. By embracing these thoughts, you can get to the root of your feelings, free yourself from any restraints, and step into the fullest experience of yourself—in and out of the bedroom. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me as she sits down with Amy Baldwin, a Sex and Relationship Coach and the Co-host of the Shameless Sex podcast. Amy shares her insight on how to deal with shame around sex, the importance of working together in partnerships, and the different ways you can find more sexual pleasure in your life—on your own terms. Stay tuned!

Here’s a tricky question: should you tell your partner if you’ve cheated on them? While many people believe that there is a simple “yes” or “no” answer, this question may be a bit more complicated than we think. Disclosing your infidelity to your partner isn’t a matter-of-fact situation. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, you’re not obligated to tell anyone about your affair—whether it was a one-time thing or a long-term relationship. But, every action has a consequence, so regardless of what you decide to do, it’s important to carefully consider your honest wants and needs. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about whether or not you need to tell your partner about your infidelity. She shares the first two things to consider when making a decision, the red flags to look out for in your decision-making process, and the various complexities of telling the truth. Plus, Dr. Murphy dives into her recommendations if you do decide to tell your partner that you’ve cheated. Stay tuned!

There is a whole mess of social pressures around considering divorce: what will your family and friends think? What will a separation do to your kids? How will you be viewed in social and professional spaces after getting divorced? But, what about the financial considerations? What happens if you and your partner are both in agreement that a separation would be best, but you don’t think you can afford to make it happen? This is where a financial analyst comes in handy. They can help you make the best decisions depending on your financial situation, so you can regain your freedom and start planning for the rest of your life. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me as she sits down with Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Shawn Leamon. Together, they discuss the benefits of working with a financial advisor during your divorce proceedings, whether there’s ever a bad time to get separated, and the different options available to you in the process. Plus, Shawn will explain some of the details on the division of assets and why it’s in everyone’s best interest to remain civil. Stay tuned!

So, you’ve had an affair and your family has found out about it. What now? Before you can even contemplate making a decision, the first thought that runs through your mind is: what about the kids? It can be incredibly difficult to navigate complex situations such as infidelity when you’re just dealing with yourself and your partner—but add your children into the mix and it can feel downright impossible. While Dr. Marie Murphy says this is completely normal, there is something you’re going to have to examine if you want to come out on the other side alive and ready to thrive: control.  In this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me, Dr. Marie Murphy is joined by John Corcoran of Rise25 to discuss how to talk with your children about issues that impact your family dynamic—whether that’s infidelity, separation, or anything else. Together, they share how to responsibly start the conversation, what to do when more family gets involved, and Dr. Murphy’s advice for supporting your kids beyond the immediate aftermath. Keep listening!

The New Year is fast approaching and everyone’s mind has turned to the same thing: resolutions for 2021. But before you start listing down all the things you want to change for the coming year, there are two important questions that you might not have asked yourself in a while that can help you determine what to add to your list: What do you really want? And more importantly, why do you want it? According to Dr. Jonathan Horowitz, getting honest about your answer to the questions above won’t just help you set your intentions for the upcoming year, they can also mean the difference between a few months of change that gradually weakens and steadfast habit-forming. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me as she sits down with Dr. Jonathan Horowitz, CEO and Founder of SF Stress and Anxiety Center. Together, they discuss their own experiences with resolution-setting, Dr. Horowitz’s best practices when it comes to making fruitful changes in your life, and why your happiness may be the most important thing to factor into your goals. It’s an insightful episode that can help set the tone for your 2021 and beyond, so make sure to tune in.

When something big happens in your life, it doesn’t just affect you—it also impacts everyone around you. This is especially true when you have children. So, how do you navigate talking to your kids about the more difficult life changes, such as infidelity, separation, or divorce? Instead of descending into a nervous sweat or putting on the cone of silence, parenting coach Abigail Wald says to take it a little bit easier on yourself. Why? Because your children are incredibly capable—and they probably know more than you think.  In this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me, Dr. Marie Murphy is joined by Abigail Wald, the Founder of Mother Flipping Awesome. Together, they talk about how to handle difficult conversations with your children, navigating the complex boundaries between parent and child, and the importance of relinquishing control as a parent. Plus, Abigail shares some of her hardest parenting moments and how she was able to move forward. Keep listening for more!

What’s in the cards for the future of your romantic relationships? Undying love? Heartbreak? Freedom—or constraints? If you’re curious to know what lies ahead, you may have considered going for a card reading to find out. But, according to medical intuitive Courtney Moore, the Tarot isn’t for future-telling—it’s for guidance. Courtney sees the Tarot as an information gathering system to help you make the decisions that will best serve you (and that you may have been putting off). Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me as she sits down with acupuncturist and medical intuitive, Courtney Moore. Together, they talk about how to use the Tarot effectively and earnestly in your life, the complexities of compromise and discomfort, and Courtney’s guidance for people grappling with infidelity. Plus, Courtney does a revealing card draw for Dr. Murphy. Stay tuned for more!