Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy
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Feb 3, 2022 • 29min

74. Dealing With Guilt and Shame

Infidelity often brings forth feelings of guilt and shame, but it shouldn’t lead you to believe you’re a bad person. You don’t have to convince yourself that cheating is good — but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, either. So how can you minimize feelings of guilt and shame and move towards self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-love? In order to shift your relationship with guilt and shame, you have to be willing to endure these feelings when they arise. Instead of trying to avoid these feelings or make them go away, Dr. Marie Murphy suggests you ride out the sensations. It takes practice to embrace the discomfort, but consciously experiencing guilt and shame without reacting is vital for self-acceptance. It allows you to recognize the negative thoughts floating through your mind, get out of the shame spiral, and work towards change that you’ll feel good about in the long term. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses strategies for dealing with guilt and shame. She shares why guilt and shame aren’t motivators of sustainable positive change, the three steps for managing these negative feelings, and how to shift internalized beliefs so you can make room for self-love and acceptance.
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Jan 27, 2022 • 36min

73. What To Say When You Break Up With Someone

No matter who your partner is or what kind of relationship you have, breaking up can be terrifying — even when you’re the one initiating. So what should you say to gracefully maneuver this difficult conversation? There are ways you can prepare and deliver your message to turn this dreaded conversation into one that can benefit both parties. Remember: breaking up doesn’t have to be a bad thing. With planning, thoughtfulness, and the right preparation, you can create the best possible experience for you and your partner — while staying true to your intentions. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy shares strategies for carrying out your breakup conversation. She talks about the importance of getting clear on your message, how to find the positives in a breakup, setting boundaries with your partner, and dealing with the waves of discomfort following the conversation.
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Jan 20, 2022 • 35min

72. Preparing for a Breakup

How do you prepare yourself for the difficult emotions of ending your relationship? Deciding to end any relationship can be a tumultuous decision — especially if you have no support. So, where can you turn for help? If you’re looking for a way to prepare for a breakup, Dr. Marie Murphy has some steps to help you navigate this process without fear and choose the best course for you. As she says, once your vision is clear and you have a better understanding of what you want, you can begin to take the next steps forward. It may be difficult — but the discomfort will be worth it in the end. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses how to prepare for the emotional turbulence of ending a relationship. Dr. Murphy talks about examining your reasons for breaking up with your partner, following the path that’s right for you, and recognizing that perfection in a breakup may never exist.
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Jan 13, 2022 • 28min

71. When You Love Your Partner And You Still Want To Cheat

Do you want relief from your complicated feelings about monogamy? What can you do to get what you really want out of your monogamous relationship? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple solution. The first step is to determine what you’re looking for from your relationship — but many people struggle to find that clarity. That’s where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has the strategies you need to get clear on your desires and configure the relationship that’s best for you. With her help, you can figure out how to improve your relationship with yourself and others. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy shares her expert strategies for clarifying what you want from your monogamous relationship. Dr. Murphy explores the various ways people define open relationships, how to communicate your desires, and the importance of making conscious decisions. Plus, Dr. Murphy shares some helpful questions to ask yourself right now. Stay tuned!
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Jan 6, 2022 • 27min

70. What Does It Mean To Be Selfish?

What do you want other people to believe about you? And, do these opinions stop you from pursuing your true desires? The concept of selfishness may feel inherently bad — but does it need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to achieve what you really want from your relationship, you have to examine the definition of selfishness in your own life. Many people struggle with the idea of seeming selfish and instead choose to avoid their honest wants and needs. That’s where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has techniques to help you reframe what is deemed “selfish” versus “selfless.” With this clarity, you can prioritize your needs, take control of your decisions, and improve your relationships. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the complicated relationship many people have with the word “selfish.” Dr. Murphy explores the various definitions of selfishness, the importance of honoring your own desires, and the ways selfishness can be harmful or helpful to your relationships.
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Dec 30, 2021 • 24min

69. Making Changes In 2022

How can you initiate change if you aren’t getting what you want out of your infidelity situation? What can you do to create a difference in your pattern of thinking as you approach the New Year?  According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you can make the changes you desire by permitting yourself to take effective action. As she says, you have to be willing to invest in the journey to achieve the results you long for in your relationship. By altering your mindset and taking the first steps forward, you can make the changes that are better aligned with your New Year’s resolutions.  In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy shares her expert strategies for clarifying the changes you want to make in your relationship. Dr. Murphy describes the various challenges of adjusting your mindset, the importance of taking productive action for change, and her tried-and-true tips for cultivating new beliefs in the New Year.
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Dec 23, 2021 • 28min

68. Infidelity and Death

Are you struggling to let go of your old self and transform into who you want to be? In order to change, you must surrender to what you want in your relationship and in your life — and that can often cause a shroud of doubt. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, only death allows for rebirth, and a metaphorical death can help you embrace your new self and reach the outcome you truly desire. While the awareness that life is fleeting and unpredictable can be uncomfortable, it is helpful for examining your thoughts and identifying your deepest desires. So, how can you find comfort in the metaphorical death of your relationship? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the metaphorical death of getting divorced or leaving a long-term relationship. Dr. Murphy shares her advice for evolving into your new self, the process of contemplating a major life transition, and the important questions to ask yourself about your relationship.
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4 snips
Dec 16, 2021 • 44min

67. Choosing To Leave A Good-Enough Marriage for Your Affair Partner

Dr. Marie Murphy, an expert in infidelity, discusses the complexities of leaving a good marriage for an affair partner. She emphasizes the importance of identifying personal values and desires, overcoming challenges, and embracing discomfort for personal growth. The podcast explores making decisions aligned with individual goals and desires, rather than societal norms, to achieve a fulfilling life and relationship.
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Dec 9, 2021 • 30min

66. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Four: Dealing with Nostalgia and Confusion

Are you feeling conflicted and confused about your infidelity situation this holiday season? How do you distinguish between taking action because of your genuine desires and taking action because of your impulses? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, learning to refrain from overthinking and instead sitting still with your discomfort can help you reach the outcome you truly desire. While it’s essential to recognize your conflicting thoughts, it is also crucial to avoid letting the confusion manifest. Dr. Murphy says that sometimes there is clarity in the slow-down — and it could be just what you need this holiday season. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about dealing with uncomfortable feelings of nostalgia and confusion during the holiday season. Dr. Murphy explains why you should not act on impulse, shares her advice for learning from your discomfort, and explains how to find clarity about your infidelity situation.
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Dec 2, 2021 • 31min

65. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Three: Putting off Decisions

If you’re having an affair and want to change the situation, how can you overcome the fear of finding the right time — especially during the holiday season? Are you just avoiding the uncomfortable feelings about facing your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, feeling uneasy should not prevent you from doing what you want. Purposefully learning how to deal with the emotions that make you uncomfortable can help change your mindset and become someone who faces fears and does not let fear dictate decisions. This is your life — you’re the one in charge of how to live it. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about the importance of addressing your uncomfortable feelings. Listen in as Dr. Murphy discusses how to get past overwhelming thoughts about your infidelity situation, the truth about trying to justify other people’s feelings, and questions to ask yourself this holiday season. Stay tuned!

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