Smart Dating Academy - The Podcast

Have trouble with difficult conversations?   Get tongue tied, get angry, or always give in?  On a date with someone who won't stop talking?   This episode will help you manage yourself so you can say almost anything in a way that brings the relationship to a better place.  Bela interviews prolific author/TedX speaker & coach Sam Horn, whose new book "Talking on Eggshells" helps with everything you're afraid of saying.  Why do we 'talk on eggshells?' Because we are afraid of hurting people, saying the wrong thing, or offending someone.   Once you have the skills, you won't be afraid anymore!   In this episode, you'll learn: -The six words that saved an employee her job, and can help you EVERYWHERE there is conflict -How to show proactive grace, and how it helped Sam's aunt diffuse a sticky situation in a hospital (genius).   You'll learn the most important question to ask yourself in ANY tough situation before you react -What you should know about the other person before you start talking -What a 'pattern interruption' is and why it's genius at changing the course of conflict -How one word can shape even a toddler's behavior (vs. what we all normally do, lol) -The 3 A's to use whenever you've done something wrong which will soften the situation IMMEDIATELY You'll learn how to communicate more effectively on dates, with your family, with people that constantly complain, and with that date who doesn't stop talking.... Buy "Talking on Eggshells here!  https://bit.ly/3N6obKE Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Fill out our podcast listener survey by putting this link into your browser:  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/survey Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

A recent study came out that said the average dater decides in 19 minutes whether they want to see the person again or not!   Is this true?  If so, how do you maximize your chance for 'acing' the impression?  Bela explains the TOP things to do to make a great first impression, and the WORST things that will get you thrown back to the pond immediately.   Tune in for this gem-filled, high energy episode! Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Fill out our podcast listener survey by putting this link into your browser:  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/survey Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

This episode is amazing, and Bela chats with the brilliant, prolific author Amy Ferris (author of "Mighty Gorgeous, A Little Book About Messy Love).   Amy's life has been the most incredible journey, from watching her father get arrested (and then acquitted),  leaving home at 15 years old to go live on a commune (Jewish girls did NOT do that back in the day), lots of bad men along the way, and the connection to the RIGHT one (during the filming of a movie she wrote, directed by Anthony Minghella, and starring half a dozen Hollywood icons).    Amy is a fierce advocate for women, and for helping us to love EVERY SINGLE PART of ourselves.   You'll hear her best, grooviest advice, her love lessons, why people-pleasing is so detrimental, how to "Own Your Life", why "Self Love is Good Love is Grand Love is Love", and why we shouldn't waste time. You can pre-order her book here (releases 10/23):  https://amzn.to/3qiOZQ6 About Amy Ferris: Amy Ferris is an author, editor, screenwriter and playwright. Her memoir, Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Midlife Crisis (Seal Press),was adapted into an Off-Broadway play in 2012. As a screenwriter, she co-wrote the film Mr. Wonderful and was nominated for a Best Screenplay Award (BET, Black Reel Award) for her adaptation of the film Funny Valentines. Her YA book a greater goode was published by Houghton Mifflin. As an editor, she curated Shades of Blue: Writers on Depression, Suicide, and Feeling Blue (Seal Press) and co-edited the anthology Dancing at The Shame Prom (Seal Press). She recently co-authored the book Old School Love (HarperCollins) with Rev Run of Run-DMC fame. In 2019, she was named one of Women’s eNews’s “21 Leaders for the 21st Century,” and in 2021 she was a recipient of NextTribe's, “Women of the Year.” Amy is a co-founder of the Milford Readers and Writers Festival.  She makes her home in Pennsylvania. Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

In this episode, I invited Andy, my husband of 26 years to join me on the podcast.    When I asked him to come on with me, he didn't miss a beat, and said "sure!"  When I asked him what we should talk about, he reminded me of something amazing.  Last year, for our 25th anniversary, his gift to me (amongst other) was a list called, "My Lessons from 25 Years with the Perfect Mate."  He wrote all of the things he has learned, and we talked about his favorite 6-7 in sometimes raw ways.  The ones that will most help you, and what's made our relationship stand the test of time.  Has it always been easy?  No.  We've had ups and we've had downs.  We've lost a baby, we've lost jobs, we've had two mortgages at the same time, and the list goes ON.   You'll hear some gems in this episode about why your partner should be your best friend, and how you show up for each other in good times and bad, in sickness and health.    And, click here to fill out the podcast listener survey!   Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

This love story is epic, from the way our client Lilah and Bela met (in a Limited store fitting room), to Lilah's Smart Dating journey to meeting the third and final love of her life, the handsome Dani.  Let's say she made the first move with the message, AND, spoiler alert, SHE asked HIM to marry her while climbing Mount Kilimanjaro!   Hear how she did it all in this beautiful story!    You'll hear: -How Lilah moved herself to Chicago and extricated herself from a bad relationship -How she started killing it in her career in software sales at Microsoft, Google, etc -What Bela said to her in the fitting room that made her send Bela a text -What happened at their first lunch at "Summer House Santa Monica" -How Lindsay helped Lilah tactically with the apps -How Lilah sent the first message to Dani, and what was in his photos that made HER reach out (on Match) -Why she met him for coffee THE SAME DAY of their phone call -Why they went out once every three months for the first half of the year! -What was the date that cemented it for her, and how he was the "man with a plan!" -Why their relationship is so amazing (they are different races and nationalities)! -How LILAH asked Dani to marry her!! Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

In this episode, you will indeed learn the secrets to getting along with everyone better - from new dates, existing partners, colleagues, friends, kids and more!   Gabrielle's YES method is unveiled, and Bela and her discuss strategic gems to using conflict to get ALL relationships to a better place!   You'll learn how to deal with someone belligerent, how to say a 'real' no without hurting someone's feelings, about the woman who offered Gabrielle a chocolate cake for giving birth and NEVER gave it (and how Gabrielle handed it, lol), and SO much more!    BIO:  Gabrielle Hartley is a nationally recognized online mediator, divorce attorney, co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee, TEDx  Speaker, and author of the acclaimed book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate."Her upcoming book, "The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think," is set to release this May, and is endorsed as a Must-Read by Malcolm Gladwell, Daniel Pink, Adam Grant, and Susan Cain's Next Big Idea Book Group.  It unlocks the potential for better relationships with just three simple steps for conflict resolution. Gabrielle also shares her insights in her weekly newsletter, The Conflict Code, and is frequently quoted as a media expert in the peaceful divorce You can pre-order her book The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It's Easier Than You Think): 3 Steps to Life-Changing Conflict Resolution Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Janai Norman from GMA is an example of courage favoring the BOLD, and her story of love, dating and her career will inspire you.  This episode is very special, because 5/5 is Janai's 5 year wedding anniversary, AND she is adding the 5th member to her family (found out she is pregnant with her third, and it's being covered in People Magazine this week)!   You're hearing it here FIRST on the Smart Dating Academy podcast!   How did a girl from the cornfields of Dekalb, IL make it to Good Morning America?  Unwavering vision, setting goals, doing whatever you have to do, and her favorite mantra which is "Courage Favors the BOLD!"   She started as an intern at ABC News (how she got there is a great part of the show), what her 'screensaver' was on her phone that kept her ON TRACK, and what the fateful song was that was a sign to her.  While in Florida for work, she decided to FINALLY get on Tinder, and went on her last first date.  How did the song play into this?  What is their relationship like?  What's it like being married to a national news anchor?  Hear it all! Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

On this week's episode, relationship expert Damona Hoffman joins Bela to talk about dating and Chat GPT!  How could/should we use it today?  What are gender roles in dating in 2023?   Who pays?  What do we want vs. need?  And how does empathy work in dating?  Can you date with more empathy?   This conversation is AWESOME and will teach you and make you think!  Damona and Bela have a fun relationship, and you will hear the lively banter -- you'll feel like you're in the room with them! Damona Hoffman is a regular contributor to the Drew Barrymore Show, NPR, the LA Times, and the Washington Post.  Damona is also the official US Dating Coach of OKCupid and hosts the Dates & Mates podcast!  Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

If you're feeling like dating is 'meh', this episode is for YOU!   Bela goes through seven different things you can do today to change up your dating results - and the changes are small (and VERY EASY)!!  If you need a dose of psychotic optimism, and some fresh outlooks on what to do with online dating, real life dating, new games to play, listen TODAY! Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela

Rebecca Feinglos had more trauma than the average 'bear.'  She lost her Mom to brain cancer as a young teen.  On the first day of COVID lockdown, she got a call that her father (her best friend on Earth) passed away unexpectedly.   As Rebecca began to recover from the shock, and entered the abyss of the COVID lockdown, she realized that her marriage needed to end.   She filed for divorce in 2021 as a 30 year old, and realized she had NEVER lived on her own (had never been without a 'man' in her life).   She decided to unplug her life for one year to GRIEVE.  Simply grieve, and whatever came with that.  She went on a coast to coast roadtrip, visited her Grandmother in England, and every single day she gave herself time to grieve her losses. She started a blog called "Grieve Leave" which has thousands of followers which documented her 'year of grieving' to help people going through all kinds of grief - death, divorce, loss of jobs, etc - because EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US is grieving something.   And, our culture prides resilience, but gives us zero strategies on how to grieve.   When her divorce finalized, she threw a party for 14 of the women who 'picked her up' off the ground, and they went to the Adele concert.  Rebecca wore a "divorce tiara" and they held up a sign to Adele that said, "Your album got me through my divorce."  Adele, being surprised by the sign (and having gone through divorce herself), made a beeline for Rebecca, hugged her (footage captured FOREVER!), and they cried together about how our friends are the most important things in our lives.  Listen to Rebecca tell her story, and one of her BEST tips to grieve a breakup/divorce that you can start TODAY.    About Rebecca Feinglos Rebecca Feinglos is a grieving educator and advocate. Rebecca founded the popular blog “Grieve Leave” (www.grieveleave.com), where she has been documenting her experience on a year-long grief sabbatical. Rebecca started “Grieve Leave” as a way to process her own grief and loss— she lost her mother in her teens, her father in 2020, and most recently her husband in a drawn-out divorce— but has since provided tangible learnings and resources, with a healthy dose of humor, creating an entire movement around taking intentional time to grieve. She shares her own grieving process daily and provides insightful commentary and advice with her audience of over 8K predominantly female millennials.   Prior to becoming a go-to resource for the grieving, Rebecca's career spanned state and local policy as well as education. She served as the chief policy and strategy advisor for the Division of Child Development and Early Education in the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services and as the Early Childhood Policy Associate for the Chicago Mayor’s Office. Rebecca started her professional career in service as a bilingual kindergarten teacher in Fort Worth, Texas through Teach For America. She is a graduate of Duke University and earned her master’s degree in public policy from the University of Chicago. Rebecca is originally from Durham, North Carolina, where she currently resides with her two dogs. About Grieve Leave Grieve Leave is a movement that inspires grievers to intentionally take time to process the feelings that come with loss. In December 2021, Rebecca Feinglos quit her job to take a sabbatical year—to grieve. She called her journey “Grieve Leave,” and documented her thoughts on her blog and social media. Through sharing knowledge, advice and tangible resources, and creating a space for others to grieve, Rebecca has expanded Grieve Leave beyond her own personal journey and has grown into a community of thousands. Whether you’ve lost a pet or you’ve lost your parents, grief is not one-size-fits-all. Grieve Leave is a community built to support others in learning to grieve all of our losses. There’s no wrong way to grieve. Download this episode, share it on social, and sign up for our free newsletter by filling out any contact form on our site (www.smartdatingacademy.com).  Follow us on Instagram as well @smartdatingacademy! Follow us on Instagram at @smartdatingacademy Schedule your consultation with us here!   We are on a waiting list, and would love to help you!  https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/11-coaching/coaching-call-with-bela