

Rude Tales of Magic
Bucket of Milk
In this improvised narrative role playing podcast, come and join artists, writers, and comedians from Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Marvel Comics, and more as they fight and fumble their way across the madcap, and exceedingly rude, fantasy wasteland of Cordelia. Branson Reese and his jester's retinue, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore, and Ali Fisher star as a group of unlikely survivors (a talking crow, a lich in a wig, a bubbly fawn, a Sasquatch punk, and a tiefling hunk, specifically) who must solve the mystery of Polaris University's vanishment and return balance and higher education to their world. It's going to be very hard and very, very, rude.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jul 21, 2022 • 1h 28min
Arrivals
Strangers in even stranger lands, the gang must risk their lives (and then some) to discover if their new guide is friend, foe, or some new category (froend) in between. But in a place so turvy topsy, what is a friend? What is family? And with a family like this...who needs enemies? Or families? Or even friends? Wait a second, some of those are good. But which ones? WHO DO I SHOOT!?
HEY! A lot of that great music in this episode is by The Eskalators. Find them and their "zone ska" at https://eskalators.bandcamp.com/
Todays episode was sponsored by NordVPN: get the NORD in yer GOURD at nordvpn.com/rudetales
WE ARE GOIN TO GENCON!!!! Come se our LIVE SHOWS and PLAY GAMES AND HANGOUT!! We'll be there August 4-7 and details are here at fortunatehorse.com
Special Thanks to CASEY TONEY for helping to make this episode. He got that pod in him.
WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! It's the Pink Sauce of Podcasts! Hmm let's see, what else is in the news...
follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. AND our newest immortal prince, Tyler Button. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jul 7, 2022 • 1h 46min
Gleaning the Cube
In this podcast, the group discusses the idea of going home again and faces dangers, including a gelatinous cube. They engage in conversations offering support to each other and encounter mysterious figures and dark secrets. Humorous and surreal activities ensue, and they stumble upon an abandoned witch hunter camp. They enter a massive gelatinous cube that turns everything sepia-toned and are reminded to act like professional witch hunters. Sponsors Backblaze and NordVPN are introduced, and Sonic Realms is discussed as it transforms tabletop plays. They engage in a fierce battle and find themselves trapped in suffocating towels. They encounter new arrivals, argue over pronunciations, and focus on perception. Tensions rise as they prepare for the end and navigate through surreal environments.

Jun 24, 2022 • 53min
Rude Talks of Public Chatting! For YOU!
In this podcast, the hosts chat about their upcoming episodes and recording at a camp. They discuss the release of a podcast episode on the night Osama bin Laden was killed. They also dive into a game that consumes their attention and share their experiences with the mind palace technique. The conversation includes pronunciation of character names and benefits of subscribing to the Patreon feed.

Jun 3, 2022 • 32min
UNLOCKED: The Lost Diaries of Frederick DeBonesby
The podcast discusses the lost diary of Frederick DeBonesby, including encounters in a griffin stable, summoning breakfast, annoying dream figures, and the protagonist's ambitions.

May 23, 2022 • 1h 33min
O Captain, My Captain
In this podcast, the group of heroes wakes up on a strange boat and investigates a mysterious storeroom. They have a tense conversation with a man pleading for his life, discussing self-defense and polyamorous relationships. The protagonist navigates through a mind palace while their allies charm each other. They attend a lecture at Polaris University and witness a surreal encounter. They encounter a mysterious figure who reveals their true identity. The characters continue their ship journey, discussing polyamorous relationships and their worries. Frederick witnesses a horrifying scene and tries to wake up from the nightmare. The ship captain and crew discover seeds and plan muffin recipes. The crew faces tense situations and must make tough decisions.

May 11, 2022 • 1h 37min
FEED GUEST: "Bride and Vroom" by Oh These, Those Stars of Space
[KNOCK KNOCK] Who's there? [An Additional Wonderful] An additional wonderful who? AN ADDITIONAL WONDERFUL PODCAST! And it's called Oh These, Those Stars of Space. Yes, the Rude Crew has an entire additional podcast, where we all go on space adventures that are LEGALLY DISTINCT from Star Trek: The Next Generation. SEE Chris play an android named Threadcount 900, HEAR Branson play "ship's mortician" Clinton Bodycount, ABSORB Carly playing a "space angel" who can talk to "space god" who is real, ONE TIME Ali played a 16ft-tall cat named Chestershire, and so, so much more! Here is an example episode to prove to you that we are not lying. . They DO exist!
FIND US WHEREVER YOU SLURP UP YOUR PODCAST SLOP FROM THE PODCAST TROUGH, MY DEAR LITTLE PIGGIES! YUM YUM YUM!
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

May 6, 2022 • 1h 17min
The Thin Black Line
Bad boys, bad boys, what are you going to do? What are you going to do when they come for you?
Special Thanks to SAM GRANT! Sam's been invaluable helping us out in the edit bay. If you notice the show is extra "tight" let Sam know what a good job he did.
And this episode featured TONS of new and original music, all by Huge Today! Thank you Huge Today!
And thanks to our sponsor BACKBLAZE.com/rudetalesofmagic Unlimited backup for your 'puter, for only $7 a month. Do it already!
WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! The DSM 5 says not liking it is "doing a no growth."
follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Apr 25, 2022 • 1h 20min
Operation Ottersquirt
Bravely descending into the lion's den, the gang must make a daring rescue and great escape by trying the one thing they've never tried before: trying. Meanwhile, deep within the Mind Palace of the deposed lich, another kind of escape is afoot. PLUS: The nature of "The Boon" is REVEALED! Old comrades RETURN! The Skeleton DOES A DANCE! All this and more, on this episode of the hit podcast, Rude Tales of Magic.
Special Thanks to SAM GRANT! for helping with the edit for this week's ep.
WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! The DSM 5 says not liking it is "doing a no growth."
follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Apr 4, 2022 • 1h 25min
It's a Calling
The gang literally crosses paths with a figurative brother-in-arms. Will they join forces to defeat an infestation of evil along the way? Yes! Obviously!
CW: Coconuts, blood, loud noises.
A previous version of this episode had incorrect (but ultimately cool and fun, the kind of mistake you learn to root for, even!) venue listed for Tim's show in May. TIM PLATT WILL BE APPEARING AT UNION HALL IN BROOKLYN ON MAY 22. HE WILL BE TAPING HIS "WHAT THE HUG? TOUR FOR PEACE IN UKRAINE AND VACCINE FREEDOM" TOUR THAT NIGHT.
CORRECTION: A PREVIOUS VERSION OF THIS EPISODE SAID THAT TIM WAS DOING A SHOW FOR HIS "WHAT THE HUG? TOUR FOR PEACE IN UKRAINE AND VACCINE FREEDOM" THAT WAS A MISTAKE. IT IS JUST A STANDUP COMEDY SHOW OF TIM'S STANDUP COMEDY AND GUESTS. AT UNION HALL ON MAY 22. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "VACCINE FREEDOM" OR THE TERRIBLE SITUATION IN UKRAINE, WHICH WE CONDEMN. AGAIN, THATS TIMBEBE PLATATA HIMSELF, TIM PLATT(!) AT UNION HALL ON MAY 22!
Special Thanks to SAM GRANT! for helping with the edit for this week's ep.
WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! The DSM 5 says not liking it is "doing a no growth."
follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mar 12, 2022 • 1h 38min
Workin' Hard
It works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it. The gang is delayed, for WORK!? While Bellow picks up a shift at the vacation factory, the girls FINALLY get some alone time. A new status quo for the Witch Hunters begins to make itself known.
Special Thanks to SAM GRANT! for helping with the edit for this week's ep. Happy to say that our prayers came true and Sam's gonna be with us for awhile. Uh, yeah, I think he's gonna like it here ;)
WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! It's so, so funny, and now there's a bunch of episodes out, Guaranteed you'll find one you love.
follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered.
We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul. Without your support we'd have an actual bucket for a hat, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you.
This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon.
Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review!
Follow the show:
Twitter: @of_rude
Instagram: @rudetalesofmagic
Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm.Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.