The Leader Learner Podcast

Send us a textCheck-In:If you had the whole world's attention for 30 seconds, what would you say or do?Big Ideas:Hypocrisy and leadershipImmorality in leadershipDo leaders have to be good people?We think of leadership as for the good of the peopleWhat tactics are immoral leaders using to get people to follow them?Leadership as a pipeline - a relationship between peopleHow you position yourself in respect to other peopleLeadership can be about how you hook and attract themCharisma as a tool to attract people"Othering" of people - politicians using this tactic to gain followersCommonality and the group to bring people togetherUsing fear with your own people to hold themTotalitarianism versus PopulismThe leadership purpose is different from the toolsInverse charisma - how you draw people in based on how you listen to them, not how you talkCharisma as a source of power - do people give you charisma?Shifting leadership depending on our audience - some people need to be listened to, some people need to be inspiredAdaptive or situational leadershipLeading from the front, not the backCultural aspects of leadershipOpen and closed ways of leadershipOur own biases shift how we perceive a leader as good/badLeaders who are reassuring and are perceived as "strong" - people looking to leaders for strengthLeaders are leaders because they help other people not feel afraidIdea that leadership starts from withinPeople wanting to be told what to do and how to thinkPower over versus power with/power toWhat do you do when you want to offer people power, and they don't want it?Freedom is hard. Ignorance is bliss.Do people really want autonomy?Are we participants in the creation of immoral leadership?Amoral leadership - leadership without moralityImmorality creates an us/them Should leadership be moral?Trust is a psychological mechanism, value is what you think is importantCan we try NOT to use the moral lens when talking about leadership?Pragmatism versus moralityTake morality off the table and listen for their valuesHow we embody values can look differentHow stay on debate without arguingPower in having a structured debate with a strong moderatorDebating from the opposite side of your beliefsConstructive conflict that leads to innovation and creativityDisagreement isn't the same as conflictLeadership is when you stay outside of our "animal self" - you stay above the fray"People are hard to hate close up. Move in." Easy for us to form opinions about other people without really knowing themChange the conditions by which you measure people and you can say anyone is anythingDoes a leader need to go beyond morality?Easy to other people for othering othersValues as a factor in conflict because of it's rigidityGlobalization has led to value conflictResources Mentioned:The Human LibraryMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In: Share an experience when you felt great as part of a long-distance team, or a team in general.Big Ideas:Is virtual the right word?Long distance, remote, or virtual - Are they interchangeable?Long distance being more neutralVirtual teams used to be for individuals meeting for a certain project, where not everyone worked for the same bossWho's the hub for all the spokes?Who owns the team? Compliance versus ownershipAll teams have a culture, but no one person owns the culture, it's the responsibility of everyone on the teamProximity allows us to "read" cues more easily Beyond 40-50 feet level of engagement dropsDistance and availability are both factorsVirtual reduces spontaneous interactionsProximity bias - asking people who are closerUs/them them in hybrid settingsSettling for lowest common denominator when accomodating remote?What's the best experience for the team?Long distance reveals the true team dynamics - especially the "bad" onesGood leadership systems work across all types of disruptionsLeadership first, location secondKeeping hours of your manager when you are in a different time zoneManaging for activity versus productivityIf you have an empowered, trusted team, where they do that doesn't matterThere are some organizations where proximity mattersCan the work be done no matter where people are?Every annoying policy was created because of one person or incidentPolicies can create discrepanciesPilot before policy2/3 of our workplace communication takes place in writing - we don't do it very wellWhat role does time (when we work) play in the culture we want?Rather than having conversations with people, managers create policiesManaging to the exceptionDo the rules of the company demonstrate trust?What is the IT of culture?Communication, collaboration and culture - the little thingsDoes everything have to be a meeting?Shift in how our relationships have developed over time - more and more onlineHaving 1:1 conversations with teams, even onlineBe wary of transactional communication because they don't build relationshipsWhat works in person ? Translate that intentionally to online spacesResources:The Long Distance Leader by Kevin Eikenberry and Wayne TurmelThe Long Distance Teammate  by Kevin Eikenberry and Wayne TurmelThe Long Distance Team by Kevin Eikenberry and Wayne TurmelVirtual Not Distance PodcastWayne Turmel Bio:For 25 years, Wayne Turmel has been obsessed with how people communicate—or don’t—at work. He is an internationally recognized expert in remote work and the evolving workplace who is the author of 15 books and has spoken around the world. He is best known for the Long Distance Workplace books: The Long Distance Team, Long Distance Teammate and The Long-Distance Leader. Originally from Canada, he now lives and works in Las Vegas. Marshall Goldsmith has called him “one of the unique voices in Leadership.”LinkedinMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In:What is one key trait that makes successful people successful?Big Ideas:Thinking better with other people"We think best when we think socially." Social constructivism Group think -- we let loyalty take the place of our thinkingThink for yourself, before you think with othersUse tools/methods to help people think betterThink first, share second - Alone TogetherWhen the first person anchors the rest of the sharingSpeaking last as a managerDivergent thinking before convergent thinkingGiving ideas space - go into a room together to define the problem, brainstorm alone, then back together with all the ideasDiverging first as not being naturalPush for convenience and efficiency which gets in the way of the social way of thinkingCheck-In is seen as a waste of time, yet it creates a synchronization at the beginning of a meetingHow to diverge when we don't feel psychologically safeWhat creates groupiness? Learn together, Train together, Feeling together, Engage in rituals together, Synchronicity (body, meals)Lost the sense of "groupiness" at workRole-playing games - must let everyone's roles play outHaving structure for debating with one another can make it funDisagreement and conflict aren't synonymous - disagreement is about ideas, conflict is personalizedLeaders as moderators for healthy disagreementDo managers need to be trained in running meeting design, moderation, etc?Starting meetings with music?Different neural pathways are used when learning versus when teachingThe jigsaw method of teaching - learn a small part and then teach it to othersMust learn to think for yourself through reflection timeThe more roots something has, the more powerfulOffloading information by making it visual, talking about it, journalingBusy-ness isn't always productive Foster different ways of thinking about things - using objectsThe importance of evaluating others' ideas not just expand on your own. Arguing across cultures - different cultures approach it differentlyArguing as not being seen as team-playingCreating a system for disagreement combined psychological safetyProductive disagreement versus unproductive conflictResources:The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy PaulThe Culture Map by Erin MeyerMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In Question:Share a memorable meeting experience.Big Ideas:Rituals in meetingsClear structures in meetings get to a resultHow we feel in a meeting mattersPower dynamics in meetingsA common ritual - rotating "leadership" of the meetingRituals can vary depending on the type of organization and their values and the spirit of what you are doingCheck-ins would be great in every organization, but the questions will changeCheck-ins can set the tone of the entire meetingNot all groups need to connect and build trust togetherAirport book advice - not all advice is right for youTailor the ritual to the contextLevels of maturity in the ways that people gatherEach leader has to decide how they want to meetMeetings both reflect and create our cultureStopping all meetings isn't the answerThe courage to step up and change the meeting culture in an organizationCreating intentionality in your meetings16 core types of meetings within an organizationWhat is the value/opportunity in the meeting?Every time we have a conversation with someone, it's a meetingPutting people into a room to solve a problem doesn't workHaving an intention and outline is usually all we need to have a great meetingGreat practice - Not calling meetings "meetings" - give them a specific name to the purposeWhat impacts meetings are hard to countCan other work exist around all the meetings that are recommended?Meeting load increases in any crisisAsynchronous communication can reduce the needed meeting timeMeeting Free Fridays - time block ritualsMeeting time depends on many factors - human attention spansTrue collaboration takes longerTime box status reporting - async if possibleResources:Lucid MeetingsThe Four Agreements  by Don Miguel RuizWhere the Action Is: The Meetings that Make or Break Your Organization16 Types of MeetingsMeeting Guides and TemplatesThe Art of Gathering  by Priya ParkerGetting to Yes by William UryNever Split the Difference by Chris VossNew Rules for Work Elise Keith Bio: J. Elise Keith is the founder and CEO of Lucid Meetings, a meeting innovation company dedicated to making it easy for teams to run successful meetings every day. In 2020, Lucid Meetings was recognized as one of the top 10 global influencer brands on the topic of remote work and virtual meetings.In 2023, Elise and David Mastronardi from the Gamestorming Group joined forces to host the New Rules for Work experiment, a four-part program seeking reliably excellent ways to unleash team creativity in meetings.Elise is the author of Where the Action Is: The Meetings That Make or Break Your Organization .More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In Question:What do you look back and think, "I would never do that again?"Big Ideas:We do our best thinking when are up and moving aroundGestures help us think through ideas "We use our brains entirely too much."Do we use our brains, or does our brain use us?Most of our best ideas come when not trying to think through somethingThinking harder is counter-productiveProtestant thinking is against fun and all about hard workNot wrestle with ideas, but play with themWhat is professional?Definitions of seriousness that drive our learningRise of ADHD in the US and the increase in seat time in schools20 minutes in nature was better for ADHD students than the medicationsMore productive after micro-breaksThink will think better after a break, but think better because of the breakDon't separate our movement from our work - invite movement into your dayWalking meetingsMore accurate when walking while thinking (Radiologist study)Nietzsche had the best ideas while walkingMobile intelligenceNot separate the mind from the bodyLevel of conversation is elevated when we are elevatedAfraid of chaos - children were "little savages"Play time versus work time"The opposite of play isn't work, the opposite of play is depression." ~Stuart BrownEmotional regulation being improved when spend time outsideImportance of natural light to workingThe privilege of having access to green spacesBringing nature into built spaces to support productivityAwe - the word and the soundWe are not too different from our environmentLeaders creating space for movement (modeling)Resources:The RACI MethodThe Extended Mind by Annie Murphy PaulPomodoro TechniqueMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In Question:Do you think the internet is making people more or less social than we used to be?Big IdeasLook at the quality of connectionsMove to virtual was an opportunity for manyWhat is remote work?  What do I do in the office? How do I cope with back-to-back calls? Do I have to watch recordings of missed meetings?How do we collaborate together in this new transformation?When culture does not exist, how do you create it?What do we need to do to create great learning experiences where people are engaged?Small bites of learning, 15-20 minutes per dayCommunity and connection to talk about your learningDifference between knowledge/content and skillSkill requires connecting with people and comparing your learningTransferring knowledge to skill base - learning to assimilate itReading a book in community - learning more than I would aloneSocial constructivism - people construct knowledge togetherChange of scenery, movement, and other people support us to thinkWhat can you influence yourself?Shift expectations for how we attend meetings - listening or presentingTrust and safe spaces to help people break the "rules"Resistance to do things differently - break the boundariesWhat keeps us in front of our screens?Social price to pay for breaking the boundaries - Will people take us seriously?Role-modeling is really importantShowcasing what learning can do for me - keeping my intellectual sideNot being forced to learnTransparent about what learning and why - skill gaps, or curiosityTaking time to learn gets me, slow down, be vulnerableCraving out time for learning and development - not a one-off, part of the working weekFollowing your own curiosity creates momentumMandatory learning can create box checkingLearn and engage differently when forced to learn something or self-initiate"I think a learn-it-all will always be better than a know-it-all in my book." -Microsoft CEO, How do organizations provide the space and the financial means to keep learning?Leaders modeling learning and inviting people to learn with themLearning being funLeaders helping raise the "power" standing of their employeesLead by example and create positive experiences for my teamShort term satisfaction versus long term gainsThe power of coaching and a learning networkResources:The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy PaulStephen CoveyDiscover Your Clifton Strengths by Gallup (Don Clifton)Clifton's Strengths FindersYou can connect with Lisa Davidian here. More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In Question:What are you attached to?Big Ideas:How does our attachment related to our happiness?Relationships have a direct relationship to our healthWhat will continue to shift in our relationships as we work in virtual spacesDesperate for connectionCan't escape our need for connectionA tribe is 150 peopleAre people more afraid of connection because of the pandemic?1 in 3 people around the globe says they are lonely (pre-covid)Social media gives us a false sense of connectionRelying on tools for connection, but it's not true connectionWe say things online we wouldn't say in personComparison of curated livesPrioritizing real connections with real peopleSocial fitness - an ongoing practice in developing relationshipsHow do we develop friendships?Cultural differences in how relationships are developedBaby steps in building relationshipsSocial services as a way to meet new peopleAge not being a defining factor in a friendshipShifting from risk aversion to risk affinityRelationships take vulnerability. One person has to be the first to be vulnerable.Create chance and opportunity Acknowledging risks and the possibilitiesThe illusion of control in staying in the known, even if it's uncomfortablePeach versus coconut styles of friendshipsRelying on Employee Resources Groups in lonely at workReaching out to people out of curiosity, without an agendaLetting people know that you appreciated something that they said, even if you don't know themNot taking it personally if people don't respond when we reachResources:Article: https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/mckinsey-on-books/author-talks-the-worlds-longest-study-of-adult-development-finds-the-key-to-happy-livingMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textDave Mills Bio:With over 25 years experience in the learning and development industry. In that time he has facilitated internationally and covered a wide number of subjects from driver training on forklift trucks to facilitating senior leaders to flourish through change.He is currently a senior consultant and SME in the People Development and Effectiveness Centre of Expertise for Kantar (the world’s leading data, insights and consulting company).In his many previous lives he trained as a horticulturist, spent years as a night club and mobile DJ, built a career in retail manager, was a charity and corporate event MC and compere and is a trained hypnotherapist.He lives in Leamington Spa in the Uk with his wife. He has 2 children, is a ‘born-again’ gardener, has recently started writing poetry, still DJs occasionally, loves reading and wants to be an archaeologist when he retires!Check-In Question:Have you ever won a contest or competition?Big Ideas:Fortitude in the face of adversityYou do have control over how you respond to situations, even if you don't have control of the situation itselfAre you freeing yourself or oppressing yourself?Critique of stoicism as the philosophy of the powerful peopleYou can't make people do things, you can only empathize with their heartDon't worry about what people thinkPolarization exists because we aren't listening to one anotherTime and energy spent trying to control what we can'tAccepting the reality doesn't mean that we don't want to changeThe space between stimulus and responseAmygdala hijack is a metaphor, not a factWe can only do what we can doNot being pulled like a puppy, mastering your controlWhy don't we go to the source - the original philosophers?Urgent/Important Matrix (The Eisenhower Matrix)Leaders need to have a philosophical mindset and create meaning for employeesPhilosophy is hiding in blind sight in today's leadershipThe power in going to the original sourceHow much gets lost from the original sourcePhilosophy is the search for knowledge and wisdomTrust the process - follow what's in one book to find your next bookRead it well and go back and read it againBuild your map around the terrain of each book There is no behind other than the one you sit onResources:Enchiridion  by EpictetusCourage Under Fire, James StockdaleJordon PetersonKen BlanchardStephen CoveyMeditations by Marcus AureliusRyan HolidayNietzscheThe Nature of ThingsThe Subtle Art of Not Giving and F*ck and Everything is F*cked by Mark MansonBrené BrownSenecaGreenlights by Matthew McConaugheyTheory U by Otto ScharmerViktor FranklThe Biography of Cato the YoungerMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In:Describe a time when you helped a stranger.Big Ideas:sense of ownershipautonomy as a cop-out for organizational responsibilitynot about changing the fish, but about changing the environmentWhen we invite people into our organizations, are we hoping they will be 'unbreakable'?the challenge of changing the whole organizationteaching fish to swim in the toxic water, or changing the waterIs the entire system toxic? lower toxicity with caring and listeningleadership, history impact how toxic the environmenttreating the symptom rather than the causeduty to support the individuals and the leadershipIs resilience a lever like leadership, or like psychological safety? Is it a result?Can we directly impact resilience?Resilience as it relates to personal struggleAsking "Why me?" versus "What now?" The questions we ask determine how resilient we areResilience as a learned experience, not a theoretical oneRelationship supportive of our resilienceCausality is difficult to determineWhat? So what? Now what? Time spent looking for why - does it matter?Does the category help find the solution? Do you need to know what is in the ocean to clean it?How resources impact how/where we spent our time?Where are the resources most impactful?If you can clean it, why worry about dirtying it in the first place?Apply resources where the leverage is highestSystem and people are complexYes for the system, AND yes for the individualHow often do we rely on the system to take care of us? Moving out of the either/or choices Binary bias - when there is no middle ground, we have to choose one or the othermultiple layers of action - I, We, Theynot looking for reasons, but looking for meaning and actionswhen point 1 finger outward, there are 3 fingers pointing backwardResources:Antifragile by Nassim Nicholas TalebThe Gift by Edith EgerMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In QuestionHave you given yourself a life mission?Big Ideas:How different industries look at failure and learningNot being criminalized for making mistakesCan we really trust people? (ie, Body Cams)When to be treated as a criminal for a mistake that kills someone and when not toThe situations that draw us into making life/death decisionsDoes black-boxing situations help us be objective?Hold people accountable without blame.Is blame the opposite of accountability?Blame has a sense of judgment and can be poisonous to cultureCultural differences in using blameBlame puts us on a pedestal and the other below usBlame leads to defensivenessCognitive dissonance - when what we believe goes against the reality of a situationThe smarter we are or the higher up in the organization, the more likely we are to fabricate evidencePeople not letting go of the idea of being wrongFundamental Attribution Error - responsibility being context specific, or a character traitDifference between responsibility and accountabilityHistorically, we would ostracize people from the tribe to keep it secureEmotional engagement in our own opinions - echo chambersSense of worthiness entrenched into our relationship with being wrong"The paradox of success is based on failure."Persistence past failureIf success is based on failure, keep failing again and againBlame and guilt assigned to others stops peopleDo we know what failure looks like?What are we looking at as our metrics of success or failure?How do leaders know if they are being successful or not?Subjectivity of success/failureWhen managers don't understand us - asking managers what they needExpect managers to have the conversation with us, though we can start the conversation. What do you need? How can I help you?Doing your job the way you think you should be doing it, versus how your manager thinks you should be doing it"Those who are the most successful are the most vulnerable." Personal vulnerability versus product vulnerabilityFailure is opportunity to learnSelf-handicapping - when you purposely create an alternative explanation for a possible failure (self-sabotage)Using constraints to create creativityIf willing to accept mistakes more quickly, can be more successfulGrowth and fixed mindsetNot getting evidence to go against labels of selfResources:Start your Why, Find our Why, and Infinite Game by Simon SinekBlack Box Thinking   by Matthew SyedNo Rules Rules by Erin Meyer and Reed HastingsMindset by Carol DweckMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm