S02E18 The Arguing is Fun Episode

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Check-In:

• What is one key trait that makes successful people successful?

Big Ideas:

• Thinking better with other people
• "We think best when we think socially." 
• Social constructivism 
• Group think -- we let loyalty take the place of our thinking
• Think for yourself, before you think with others
• Use tools/methods to help people think better
• Think first, share second - Alone Together
• When the first person anchors the rest of the sharing
• Speaking last as a manager
• Divergent thinking before convergent thinking
• Giving ideas space - go into a room together to define the problem, brainstorm alone, then back together with all the ideas
• Diverging first as not being natural
• Push for convenience and efficiency which gets in the way of the social way of thinking
• Check-In is seen as a waste of time, yet it creates a synchronization at the beginning of a meeting
• How to diverge when we don't feel psychologically safe
• What creates groupiness? Learn together, Train together, Feeling together, Engage in rituals together, Synchronicity (body, meals)
• Lost the sense of "groupiness" at work
• Role-playing games - must let everyone's roles play out
• Having structure for debating with one another can make it fun
• Disagreement and conflict aren't synonymous - disagreement is about ideas, conflict is personalized
• Leaders as moderators for healthy disagreement
• Do managers need to be trained in running meeting design, moderation, etc?
• Starting meetings with music?
• Different neural pathways are used when learning versus when teaching
• The jigsaw method of teaching - learn a small part and then teach it to others
• Must learn to think for yourself through reflection time
• The more roots something has, the more powerful
• Offloading information by making it visual, talking about it, journaling
• Busy-ness isn't always productive 
• Foster different ways of thinking about things - using objects
• The importance of evaluating others' ideas not just expand on your own. 
• Arguing across cultures - different cultures approach it differently
• Arguing as not being seen as team-playing
• Creating a system for disagreement combined psychological safety
• Productive disagreement versus unproductive conflict

Resources:

• The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul
• The Culture Map by Erin Meyer

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