The Leader Learner Podcast

Send us a textSPOTLIGHTED BOOK: The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan SchaflerGUEST READER : Viktoriia Berezhna CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS:Perfectionism evolves over time when we challenge our beliefsPreparing does help, but doesn't change perfectionismThe 5 Kinds of Perfectionists : Classic, Intense, Messy, Procrastinator, ParisianIntense - really high expectations for self and others and get intense if expectations not metProcrastinator Perfectionist - wait until it's flawless before putting it out thereAre there differences in how perfectionism shows up based on your age?Perfectionism being external - meeting invisible standardsThe role of social media on perfectionismWhen you're driven by what other people thinkSmall towns, gossip, and the connection to perfectionismLiving in integrity means letting go of perfectionismWhen you take something that's perfect in your head and move to create it in the real worldAre we afraid of the reality not meeting our vision, or the feelings that come upPerfectionism connected to shame, regret, grief, etc. Not calling ourselves as a "Recovering Perfectionism"Can you see perfectionism as a super-power? Use perfectionism in an adaptive and maladaptive way.Positive sides of perfectionism When you work in a team and how perfectionism styles collidePerfectionism is not an illnessSeeing the gifts in your individual perfectionismPower in the self-awareness of your perfectionismPurposely making mistakes to "cure" perfectionismDifferent contexts drive different perfectionist tendencyHow do we become a perfectionist?  Conditioning from parents, society, etc.What we do to make our parents feel proud.Coping mechanisms vary depend on the type of perfectionist you areKnowing who you are as a way to help you copeKeep self moving and out of over-thinking - preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing, making a list about what to do is also not doing the thingRepeated action - just start.Do something in which you never expect yourself to be perfect. Purposely be bad. Whose yardstick are you measuring yourself by?Whose rules are you living by? Can you break some of them? How do you know if you are striving in a healthy way or in a perfectionist way?OTHER BOOKS MENTIONED:Playing Big by Tara MohrThe Anxious Generation by Jonathan HaidtGUEST BIO:Viktoriia is a product designer with a passion for creating impactful and user-friendly solutions. With over two years of experience at her current workplace as a Design Team Lead, she is exploring her path as a leader. Currently, she's building a startup called Bookclub VR, an Extended Reality app designed for reading and book clubs, alongside an incredible team of professionals. Beyond her work, I’m passionate about reading fiction, playing all kinds of racket sports (with a special love for table tennis), and constantly surface-learning new and interesting things, all while still being deeply connected to her journey in design.https://www.linkedin.com/in/viktoriiaberezhnaya/https://www.linkedin.com/company/bookclubvr/More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textSPOTLIGHTED BOOK: Moose Heads on the Table by Karin Tenelius and Lisa GillGUEST READER : Alejandro Garcia MachucaCONVERSATION TOPICS:Leadership is something you step in and out of. It's too heavy to be a leadership all the time.Self managed organizations don't have managers - they distribute the power and authority among the employeesWhen people take ownership for their work, they don't need managersManager as the person who clears the way for others to do their work3 Big Lessons From the Book - a coaching mindset and way of being, a focus on a working climate, a culture of mandate and involvementHaving the power to give the power awayPower will always emergePeople require sensing and adaptingMost of the underlying issues are unsaidMoose Heads on the Table = Elephant In the RoomAdvice being toxic as it disempowers employeesLeaders NOT being the hero.Managing others means not doing the job When being "helpful" erodes trust with the teamLegitimacy comes from trust.There is no such thing as objectivity. There is intersubjectivity and agreement.We all have blind spots. Be humble. Managing and leading aren't the same thing. The "Listening Gym" - If we honored listening most, there would be a listening gym on very cornerLeaders are listeners Light fades away, but gravity holds it all together. We wouldn't have stars without gravity, but we only see the light. Be like gravity - hold it all together without being seen. People won't be silent if they feel empoweredPassivity and patience aren't the same thing.There is a lot of activity in listening. Lau Tzu Quote: Go to the people. Live with them. Learn from them. Love them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. But with the best leaders, when the work is done, they task accomplished, the people will say, "We have done this ourselves." People gifted to speak and people gifted to listen. Leadership not as a ladder, but as pendulum.When the belief of arriving somewhere keeps us stuck.Can't have true power without listeningPower is an emergent property of groups. You know when things are working when people are engaged - people taking charge of their meetings, claiming their own power, focusInformation when shared regains its purpose - it's the same with power. Power is like fertilizer. Concentrated it poisons. Spread around it nourishes. BOOKS MENTIONED/OTHER RESOURCES:The Advice Trap, by Michael Bungay StanierNo Rule Rules, Erin Meyer and Reed HastingsUnlearning Silence, by Elaine Lin HeringGood to Great, by Jim CollinsThe Power of Giving Away Power, by Matthew GUEST BIO AND LINKS:Alejandro is currently navigating the muddy waters of fully remote work environments and the ever constant shift of focus and responsibilities within his job as a Software Consultant. In a nutshell, his responsibility is to design and deliver transformational programs aimed at improving collaboration, all of it underlining the wonders of visual collaboration technology. Beyond all the above verbiage, he's passionate about anything that's deeply moving, highly thoughtful, and unmistakably authentic. He takes conversations, vulnerability and presence very seriously.Linkedin : https://www.linkedin.com/in/alejandrogarciamachuca/More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

In this conversation with Vincent Musolino, a leadership coach and founder of COAPTA, the duo delves into the power of metaphors in organizations. They discuss how metaphors shape our perceptions and can predict challenges. Vincent emphasizes the importance of multiple metaphors to avoid reductive thinking and enhance problem-solving. They explore timeless concepts from Gareth Morgan's work, illustrating the significance of cultural dynamics and human relationships in organizational development. A refreshing take on leadership and collaboration awaits!

Send us a textCheck-In:What actor or actress would play you in the movie version of your life? Episode 1:Power is for everyonePower is an expression of our relationships within groupsPower over and power to are different How different types of power unconsciously drive usEpisode 2:Unleashing is allowingWho is doing the unleashing? Purpose is in relationship to othersPurpose is temporary People can do the same job but find different meaningPurpose vs meaningEpisode 3:Belief that everyone is doing the best that they can  - Is that true and does that set us up for failureGenerous intentWe can't fully understand people, and they may not even understand themselvesUnderstanding as an illusionEpisode 4:The treadmill idea - what happens to people that they get matrixed into a corporate job? Multiple causes for treadmill - fulfilling expectations (society, family, etc.)HR looking for second generation immigrants due to high motivationWhen people tell you no, it can push you even moreEpisode 5:Vulnerability as a strength even in Coming into leadership in a protective state versus an open statePower dynamics shift how vulnerable we can beEpisode 6:Being autonomous and interdependentRugged individualism can hold us back when we don't ask for helpEpisode 7:Gratitude coming from withinRecognition coming from outside of usEpisode 8:Some people who don't want a voiceWhen people aren't ready to be empowered?Stepping back and looking at the bigger picture and where an employee fits inEpisode 9:Is salary enough for engagement?Salary is not a driver for everyone Disparity between what society says we need and what we actually needGenerational differencesEpisode 10:"You don't have to ask, but you have to listen." Many of us know what listening is, but we don't know how to do itPoor listening as a way to sit with discomfortAsking questions not to know more, but to understandEpisode 11:Chess and checkersEpisode 12:Empowering people to grow - what if they don't want to grow?Rock starts versus Super stars - it's important to honor people where they areEpisode 13:The importance of storiesIf we don't hear other people's stories, we make up storiesBrains liking closed loopsIf we have a shared sense of who we are below our rolesShow don't tellEpisode 14:Is awareness enough to change behavior?Nothing new is created from self-awareness - self-awareness just the startTaking responsibility for your behaviorEpisode 15:Being too passive in your relationship to your managerImposter Syndrome gets in the way of asking manager for moreEpisode 16:Do we have to let go of "When I was your age?"Not about what you said, but how you said itCreating connection through stories of our generation, not from a sense of our way was betterSharing perspective goes both ways across generationsEpisode 17:Free added value - when corporations exploit employee generosityERG - Employee Resources Groups - when organizations ask employees to volunteer their time to push DEI initiativesEpisode 18:Why don't peopMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In:What was your favorite job? And why?Big Ideas:move from shallow questions to deep questionsfreedom, pace, connectionautonomy and connectedness are part of the motivational factors of humansautonomy within a group, leaning into the group rather than isolationindependence, dependence, and interdependence3 types of conversations - the practical conversation (What's this really about?) , the emotional conversation (How do we feel?), the social conversation (Who are we?)context matters and appreciate what type of conversation to havewhen we are having different types of conversation with others, there is a mismatch and information doesn't get throughmeta-communication - talking about the type of communicationwe communicate through our emotions we aren't rational beings but emotional onesrecognize the nuance of other people's communication, and ask questions about their emotions without becoming emotional myselfexercise where Theresa shared something meaningful with another person, and that person was instructed to be completely indifferent - Theresa had a strong emotional reactionour bodies speak to us if we listenholding multiple emotions at the same time - even if they seem competing emotionsthe 3 types are all in a multidimensional spacecommunicate about ourselves, about the relationship, and about what we wantemotion comes from the relationship we have with ourselves and otherscommunication is like an orchestra, and certain aspects of it play loudercognitive dissonance - when evidence goes against what we believe about ourselvesconfirmation bias - sort out information that doesn't vibe with who we think we arewhen social media feeds our biaseslearning about the full humanity of people, and seeing their values, beliefs, history, and let go of the data to reduce polarizationpeople agree a lot more than we thinkwhen we can listen deeply in some contexts but not othersteach people how to be curious and ask deep, profound questionspolitical system is based on making arguments, not on asking questionshow much our childhood plays a role in our communication skillshow story-telling about what people say or don't say interferes with our relationshipsemotional expression in professional settings is not fully expressedif a lot of books have been written on listening, why do we still not listen wellwe fail to practice listening to the emotional and social aspects of conversationstereotype threat - prime yourself on your multi-dimensional roles to overcome the threatbeing a good talker doesn't make you a good leaderthe training and book doesn't do anything for youResources:Supercommunicators, by Charles DuhiggFriedemann Schulz von Thun, German PsychologistNancy Kline's deep listeningMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textSUMMARY:In this episode, Vincent and Theresa chat about some Gallup data around employee engagement across the world. Who is actively disengaged at work? Who is not engaged? Who is engaged?Check-In:What's at the top of your bucket list? Big Ideas:professional bucket list the success racewhen we buy things to make us happyConnection between engagement and successCompany tap into personal engagementLet people be engaged how they want to be engagedLebanon - highest percentage of active disengagementActively disengaged, not engaged, engaged Sweden - lowest percentage of actively disengagedMali - highest percentage of engagementItaly - lowest percentage of engagementCultural implications of engagement - social expectations and relationship to successSocial media and relationship to engagement Engagement NOT connected to GDPEngagement levels have doubled in the last decadeCovid-19 made people realize the importance of things other than workChoice of 5 day of disengaged employee, or 3 days of an engaged employeeEase in hiding your engagement in large companiesGallup 12 Questions:I know what's expected of meI have what I need to do my jobI can do what I do bestI get recognition at workSomeone cares for me at workSomeone encourages my developmentMy opinion seems to countMission and purpose of companyI see commitment to quality to workI have a best friend at workSomeone talks to me about my progress with meI can learn and growWhen best friends at work keep you from being objectiveCultural nuances around "best friends"Use questions like these concretelyEngagement of entrepreneurs or in small companies is probably higherWould it make sense to break out large companies to improve engagement?Breaking up companies into podsIf you have to make any decision, you have to find 2 other people to back youCreate the conditions for collective intelligenceA group is not a teamDo work that we love and be engagedAre the younger generations less tolerant of corporate BS?Resources:Book: The Success Myth by Emma GannonBook: The Way of Integrity by Martha BeckGallup Poll Data: https://www.gallup.com/394373/indicator-employee-engagement.aspxBook: The 12 Elements of Great ManagingBook: HumanocracyPodcast: Social Science BitesMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In: What's your favorite place in your neighborhood?Big Ideas: Common issues in phone-based children now adults - social isolation, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation, addictionLack of in-person interactions and conflict, leaves them unable to resolve conflict in realityDopamine addiction online, leads to cycle of waiting for acknowledgementJudging people in ways that we wouldn't do in real timeCancel culture emphasized online Sense of community is superficial online - high quantity, low qualityAnxiety - keeping up with social expectations and fear of not being acceptedHow do leaders support Gen Z? Who is doing the accommodating?History of the 13-year-old law on social mediaNo phone policies within schoolsWithdrawals and failure to launch due to social options onlineSense of creation and confidenceUsing vocational training to support people's confidence and purpose as a professionalParents modeling phone-behaviorHow can we create an environment and culture of engagement, even when we are online for meetings?The closer and more visible the phone is to you, the more distracting it isHandwriting notes and limiting access to distractions while in meetingsPhones can be dangerous for our work Creating learning opportunities for employees around phone and/or social media challengesCreating online communityLeaders modeling better online detoxing and communicating it with the teamSetting better work time boundaries for when to expect people to be onlineGood psychological safetyGamify non-screen time within a team or between teamsHow often we go down a road and only in hindsight realize the issuesMeeting the younger generation where they are Some younger people have been conditioned into this way of being, not chosen itWork design - multiple/flex job sharing to create a sense of flexibility in their rolesReverse mentoring - look at the strength of the technologyEmployee Resources Groups for Gen ZLet go of "When I was your age...."Enter into conversations with the intent to listen, not speakBe aware of who we are allowing to dictate your life and where there might be a value misalignmentWhere are we jumping on bandwagons without looking at the long-term implicationsBack-chaining behaviors so that people feel confidenceBeing "good enough" without our phones and our social media accountsCultivating an internal sense of value within employeesResources:"The Anxious Generation" by Jonathan Haidt"Indistractable" by Nir Eyal"Hooked" by Nir EyalMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In:What has recently become less important to you?Big Ideas:Look at the lattice of the organization, not just the ladderLeap between individual contributor and managerNo change of nature between the different levels of managers - shift in intensity, but not the nature of the workDevelop a network of people at and around your levelAt some point you'll be playing the game, so need a wide network to support youHow do we define a "good working relationship" with your manager?Being too passive in the relationship with your managerLack of clarity of expectations and not asking for more clarityBringing people's reputations into your relationshipConfirmation bias - when you see people through the lens you want toAsymmetric power relationshipsWhen you think your boss should do something differently - you suffer, not themRelying too heavily on your power of expertise and not your power of connectionsManaging up connotates teaching your manager how to do their jobFirst step - check your own egoSecond step - develop self awareness, know your triggers, what pisses you off about peopleThird step - Know what motivates you and how your manager aligns or not with thoseFourth step - Take the time to develop a relationshipKnow your external motivators which are context drivenThe power of working their way gains capital with them and builds trustProve that you can work in their systemDo you known what your boss needs? How can you "manage up" if you don't know what your boss needs?Develop a coaching mindset up toward everyone around youDo you ever ask your boss "How can I help?" Whether we like it or not we are in service to our manager - we aren't just in service to our direct reportsNot standing in someone else's shoes for a whileEmpathy can be dangerous. Compassion is less taxingMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In: What's giving you hope right now? Big Ideas:What constitutes inequity?When your unbelonging can connect you with other people who feel unbelongingGender equity issues not coming up in some leadership trainings Cultural and country differences in gender equityCalling out misogynistic jokes - Should I? Context dependent?"isms" as part of the air we breathe - it's conditioned into usCreating the system and benefitting from it - are they separateUnconscious bias that comes out in small ways as a parentIs awareness enough to change behavior? If we are all sexist, does that make the word meaningless?Sexists are actively causing harm...???Sexism is mostly unintentional - men don't even know it's sexistWhat do we call people who are functioning in patriarchy in unconscious ways, but still causing harm?The myth of meritocracy Meritocracy - achievement is based solely on your skillsBlind assessments to even things outPerformance review differences between men and womenTransparent data and decisions on manager, causing inequities to even outBe internally transparent with income differencesWomen tend not to negotiate their salaries, but they will negotiate on the behalf of othersWomen less likely to nominate themselves for promotionsAsking women to be like men doesn't workDouble bind - not assertive enough, not seen as a leader, too assertive, seen as being bitchyAnger as a man is okay, being sad/emotional as a man is associated with weaknessExpectations in our gender rolesWhen there's no problem, there's no data usuallyBelieving you are objective, makes you more likely to be sexist. Thinking of the behavior separate from the identityResources:Invisible Women by Caroline Criando Perez More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Explore the magic of storytelling as a tool for group cohesion and motivation. Discover how shared narratives can reshape organizational purpose and employee engagement. Learn about the delicate balance of personalities within teams and the dynamics that lead to high performance. Delve into the significance of crafting self-narratives and their role in personal growth. Lastly, uncover the powerful intersection of emotional intelligence and effective leadership, proving that purpose and emotions are essential for success.