The Leader Learner Podcast

Send us a textCheck-In:What was your favorite job? And why?Big Ideas:move from shallow questions to deep questionsfreedom, pace, connectionautonomy and connectedness are part of the motivational factors of humansautonomy within a group, leaning into the group rather than isolationindependence, dependence, and interdependence3 types of conversations - the practical conversation (What's this really about?) , the emotional conversation (How do we feel?), the social conversation (Who are we?)context matters and appreciate what type of conversation to havewhen we are having different types of conversation with others, there is a mismatch and information doesn't get throughmeta-communication - talking about the type of communicationwe communicate through our emotions we aren't rational beings but emotional onesrecognize the nuance of other people's communication, and ask questions about their emotions without becoming emotional myselfexercise where Theresa shared something meaningful with another person, and that person was instructed to be completely indifferent - Theresa had a strong emotional reactionour bodies speak to us if we listenholding multiple emotions at the same time - even if they seem competing emotionsthe 3 types are all in a multidimensional spacecommunicate about ourselves, about the relationship, and about what we wantemotion comes from the relationship we have with ourselves and otherscommunication is like an orchestra, and certain aspects of it play loudercognitive dissonance - when evidence goes against what we believe about ourselvesconfirmation bias - sort out information that doesn't vibe with who we think we arewhen social media feeds our biaseslearning about the full humanity of people, and seeing their values, beliefs, history, and let go of the data to reduce polarizationpeople agree a lot more than we thinkwhen we can listen deeply in some contexts but not othersteach people how to be curious and ask deep, profound questionspolitical system is based on making arguments, not on asking questionshow much our childhood plays a role in our communication skillshow story-telling about what people say or don't say interferes with our relationshipsemotional expression in professional settings is not fully expressedif a lot of books have been written on listening, why do we still not listen wellwe fail to practice listening to the emotional and social aspects of conversationstereotype threat - prime yourself on your multi-dimensional roles to overcome the threatbeing a good talker doesn't make you a good leaderthe training and book doesn't do anything for youResources:Supercommunicators, by Charles DuhiggFriedemann Schulz von Thun, German PsychologistNancy Kline's deep listeningMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textSUMMARY:In this episode, Vincent and Theresa chat about some Gallup data around employee engagement across the world. Who is actively disengaged at work? Who is not engaged? Who is engaged?Check-In:What's at the top of your bucket list? Big Ideas:professional bucket list the success racewhen we buy things to make us happyConnection between engagement and successCompany tap into personal engagementLet people be engaged how they want to be engagedLebanon - highest percentage of active disengagementActively disengaged, not engaged, engaged Sweden - lowest percentage of actively disengagedMali - highest percentage of engagementItaly - lowest percentage of engagementCultural implications of engagement - social expectations and relationship to successSocial media and relationship to engagement Engagement NOT connected to GDPEngagement levels have doubled in the last decadeCovid-19 made people realize the importance of things other than workChoice of 5 day of disengaged employee, or 3 days of an engaged employeeEase in hiding your engagement in large companiesGallup 12 Questions:I know what's expected of meI have what I need to do my jobI can do what I do bestI get recognition at workSomeone cares for me at workSomeone encourages my developmentMy opinion seems to countMission and purpose of companyI see commitment to quality to workI have a best friend at workSomeone talks to me about my progress with meI can learn and growWhen best friends at work keep you from being objectiveCultural nuances around "best friends"Use questions like these concretelyEngagement of entrepreneurs or in small companies is probably higherWould it make sense to break out large companies to improve engagement?Breaking up companies into podsIf you have to make any decision, you have to find 2 other people to back youCreate the conditions for collective intelligenceA group is not a teamDo work that we love and be engagedAre the younger generations less tolerant of corporate BS?Resources:Book: The Success Myth by Emma GannonBook: The Way of Integrity by Martha BeckGallup Poll Data: https://www.gallup.com/394373/indicator-employee-engagement.aspxBook: The 12 Elements of Great ManagingBook: HumanocracyPodcast: Social Science BitesMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In: What's your favorite place in your neighborhood?Big Ideas: Common issues in phone-based children now adults - social isolation, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation, addictionLack of in-person interactions and conflict, leaves them unable to resolve conflict in realityDopamine addiction online, leads to cycle of waiting for acknowledgementJudging people in ways that we wouldn't do in real timeCancel culture emphasized online Sense of community is superficial online - high quantity, low qualityAnxiety - keeping up with social expectations and fear of not being acceptedHow do leaders support Gen Z? Who is doing the accommodating?History of the 13-year-old law on social mediaNo phone policies within schoolsWithdrawals and failure to launch due to social options onlineSense of creation and confidenceUsing vocational training to support people's confidence and purpose as a professionalParents modeling phone-behaviorHow can we create an environment and culture of engagement, even when we are online for meetings?The closer and more visible the phone is to you, the more distracting it isHandwriting notes and limiting access to distractions while in meetingsPhones can be dangerous for our work Creating learning opportunities for employees around phone and/or social media challengesCreating online communityLeaders modeling better online detoxing and communicating it with the teamSetting better work time boundaries for when to expect people to be onlineGood psychological safetyGamify non-screen time within a team or between teamsHow often we go down a road and only in hindsight realize the issuesMeeting the younger generation where they are Some younger people have been conditioned into this way of being, not chosen itWork design - multiple/flex job sharing to create a sense of flexibility in their rolesReverse mentoring - look at the strength of the technologyEmployee Resources Groups for Gen ZLet go of "When I was your age...."Enter into conversations with the intent to listen, not speakBe aware of who we are allowing to dictate your life and where there might be a value misalignmentWhere are we jumping on bandwagons without looking at the long-term implicationsBack-chaining behaviors so that people feel confidenceBeing "good enough" without our phones and our social media accountsCultivating an internal sense of value within employeesResources:"The Anxious Generation" by Jonathan Haidt"Indistractable" by Nir Eyal"Hooked" by Nir EyalMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In:What has recently become less important to you?Big Ideas:Look at the lattice of the organization, not just the ladderLeap between individual contributor and managerNo change of nature between the different levels of managers - shift in intensity, but not the nature of the workDevelop a network of people at and around your levelAt some point you'll be playing the game, so need a wide network to support youHow do we define a "good working relationship" with your manager?Being too passive in the relationship with your managerLack of clarity of expectations and not asking for more clarityBringing people's reputations into your relationshipConfirmation bias - when you see people through the lens you want toAsymmetric power relationshipsWhen you think your boss should do something differently - you suffer, not themRelying too heavily on your power of expertise and not your power of connectionsManaging up connotates teaching your manager how to do their jobFirst step - check your own egoSecond step - develop self awareness, know your triggers, what pisses you off about peopleThird step - Know what motivates you and how your manager aligns or not with thoseFourth step - Take the time to develop a relationshipKnow your external motivators which are context drivenThe power of working their way gains capital with them and builds trustProve that you can work in their systemDo you known what your boss needs? How can you "manage up" if you don't know what your boss needs?Develop a coaching mindset up toward everyone around youDo you ever ask your boss "How can I help?" Whether we like it or not we are in service to our manager - we aren't just in service to our direct reportsNot standing in someone else's shoes for a whileEmpathy can be dangerous. Compassion is less taxingMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In: What's giving you hope right now? Big Ideas:What constitutes inequity?When your unbelonging can connect you with other people who feel unbelongingGender equity issues not coming up in some leadership trainings Cultural and country differences in gender equityCalling out misogynistic jokes - Should I? Context dependent?"isms" as part of the air we breathe - it's conditioned into usCreating the system and benefitting from it - are they separateUnconscious bias that comes out in small ways as a parentIs awareness enough to change behavior? If we are all sexist, does that make the word meaningless?Sexists are actively causing harm...???Sexism is mostly unintentional - men don't even know it's sexistWhat do we call people who are functioning in patriarchy in unconscious ways, but still causing harm?The myth of meritocracy Meritocracy - achievement is based solely on your skillsBlind assessments to even things outPerformance review differences between men and womenTransparent data and decisions on manager, causing inequities to even outBe internally transparent with income differencesWomen tend not to negotiate their salaries, but they will negotiate on the behalf of othersWomen less likely to nominate themselves for promotionsAsking women to be like men doesn't workDouble bind - not assertive enough, not seen as a leader, too assertive, seen as being bitchyAnger as a man is okay, being sad/emotional as a man is associated with weaknessExpectations in our gender rolesWhen there's no problem, there's no data usuallyBelieving you are objective, makes you more likely to be sexist. Thinking of the behavior separate from the identityResources:Invisible Women by Caroline Criando Perez More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Explore the magic of storytelling as a tool for group cohesion and motivation. Discover how shared narratives can reshape organizational purpose and employee engagement. Learn about the delicate balance of personalities within teams and the dynamics that lead to high performance. Delve into the significance of crafting self-narratives and their role in personal growth. Lastly, uncover the powerful intersection of emotional intelligence and effective leadership, proving that purpose and emotions are essential for success.

Send us a textCheck-In: Do think the best time of your life is in the past, present, or futureBig Ideas:flexibility in work schedules - what do we need to do sothe equipment that supports remote workingshifting mindsets around traditional ways of workingshifting schedules to accommodate global clientssense of freedom in being able to shift your scheduleflexing people's pay to allow for flexible schedulesBe present, be equipped, be allowedCompressed work week - had to create the modelKeeping people engaged after 30+ years in the corporate worldEmpowering people to have balance and to grow in new waysEmployees feel energized and motivated when they have a larger fulfilledNeed for new working models to offer employees Younger generation doesn't want the traditional 9-5, 5 days a weekCovid has shifted us into new ways of thinking about how we work and where we workCan flexibility work for manufacturing, and other hands-on type of work?Hesitation to allow flexible schedulesCreation can happen NOT sitting in front of the computerCompanies are losing good people if they don't offer flexibilityUsing co-working spaces for networking and shifting perspectives and interacting across-organizationsHow do I lead remotely?  How can we support leaders to build trusting teams remotely? How to facilitate meetings remotely so that people can feel that connection?The small moments of trust building,, in person, can't be as easily transferred to online spaces.Making connection the primary intention of all gatheringsIntention, Execution, Results - Observe what is happening in your meetingsFocus on how people want to feel at the end of a session - the doing happens as a result of the feeling (fulfilled, energized, inspired, motivated, engaged, supported, etc...)Making sure that everyone has a voice in whatever way that voice wants to be heardNot micro-managing people's time and checking their online status when working remotelyWhen people speak in the first 5 minutes of the call, they end up speaking more throughout the meetingThe relationship between trust and empowermentWhat's preventing leaders from trusting their employees?We want engaged employees, but we don't create engagement in the meetingsMeeting etiquette and expectations -- different practices across organizations, regions, countriesLess moments to sync outside of meetings when we are remote - more presence needed in online meetingsWhat kind of leader does your company need you to be?In our fast-paced world, are we giving space for people to BEMessaging around productivity and efficiency and how it impacts people Separating your ego from your leadershipSelf-reflection as the key to good leadershipResources Mentioned:The Extended Mind, by Annie Murphy PaulMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In: If you could live anywhere, where would you live and why?Big Ideas: when books make leadership seem easy, when it's not5 elements that every team needs to function well together, written as a pyramidusing books as a guide can lead us down the wrong pathThe 5 Dysfunctions are: Absence of Trust, Fear of Conflict, Lack of Commitment, Avoidance of Accountability, and Inattention to ResultsLencioni is anti-consensusCan people have results without trust? (example - the Chicago Bulls of the 1990's)Trusting someone's character and capabilitiesPeer review of modelsBooks can be seeds of discussion, but not guides for team performanceComponents of trust, and signs when trust is absentTrust not being valued by a manager - it being seen as too "fluffy"Does the importance of trust depend on the type of team you are within the organization? If everyone's competing for the CEO's job, how can you trust those you work with?Power in organizations - the individual versus the groupHow can one be political without being egotistical?Politics is making your power concrete. It's not bad or good in nature. It's a tool.What am I applying my politics for?Playing the game without playing the game. Being aware of the game and playing it for the good of the company.We teach people NOT to play politics at work, and then they get into organizations where people are all playing different gamesWhen people suffer when they don't know the rules of the game they are playingPlay the game to be a successful contribution to the organizationBelief that good people don't politics - it's not the tool, it's what you do with them that mattersCan you win the fight being a good, upstanding person?Power is largely due to the collective sum of all the relationships you have within an organization. Fear driven relationships aren't relationships - they are transactional Choosing NOT to play the game, can be seen as more ethicalResources:The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick LencioniAmy Edmondson and Psychological SafetyEdgar Shein and Psychological SafetyMaslow's Hierarchy of NeedsMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In:How did you spend your summer breaks as a child?Big Ideas:How do you know when connection exists in a group?The importance of having care/connection when giving feedbackConnection is not the same as relationshipFeel a connection to someone without a relationshipA relationship can exist without fully knowing someoneTrusting character versus trusting someone's competenciesTrust: Competence, Kindness, ReliabilityBRAVING Model of Trust (Brené Brown): Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-Judgment, GenerosityIntent doesn't always match impact - can care about someone and still hurt themCreating more intention when giving feedbackBeing unkind versus the perception of being unkindDoes kindness have a place in business?We choose complacency and kindness can cross over -  we don't give feedback when it's needed because we know it will hurtWhen is too much too muchConnecting just enough to do my job wellHow much is too much connecting as a leader?Do people want their leaders to know about them? Connecting with people to be strategic/manipulative rather than humanDo we need to know the in and outs of our teams to be a good leader?Shifting connecting depending on the individual needs of your teamDo we need to manage the perceptions of others on our team?You don't have to ask, but you have to listenPeople on our teams have different attachment stylesIs it too much to have to adapt/chameleon to our teams needs?Ask people what they expect from you and set boundaries Accompanying our team membersAccompanying and giving the infrastructure to othersHaving clear expectations and the same map means we don't need to be as connectedConnection is needed to set expectations and create the map togetherIs connection turning into the solution to all of our leadership problems?None of us has a map of where our business goes, so connection support usCommon understandings of what you need to be doing and then you can improvisePull back from connection as being "the answer" to your leadership issuesKnowing information can share that you careThe little things are important to othersWhy are you connecting?What's the "right" amount of connection with our teams?Resources:The Speed of Trust, Stephen CoveyBRAVING Inventory, Brené BrownHow to Know A Person, by David BrooksMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textCheck-In:In your opinion, when is innovation overused?Big Ideas:Binary questions - Are they useful or not? Are creating and innovating the same?Moving from being salaried to hourly and the implications/impact it hadFeeling of liberation being hourly rather than salariedSense of equity - treating all of us the sameMental load and how it's often not counted in salariesSense of autonomy in deciding to work or notWorking to deserve the salarySpace for thinking/reflecting separate from doingWhat's your relationship to decision-making? Working less as one of the goalsStepping back to reflect on the decision and knowing the criteria of successFailpoint brainstormingSunk Cost BiasIs salary associated with time spent in a corporate setting? Are we creating space for psychological detachment from work?Companies taking time of employment engagementIs a salary enough of a reward for engagement? Can we pay someone based on meeting metrics?Quality versus quantity of workCan companies do what entrepreneurs do in terms of paying employees?Parkinson's Law -- the task will expand to fit the time givenPlaying with time to get you motivated Honoring where people are in their lives, and adjusting their expected time at work to their stage in lifeKronos time (the passing of time)  versus Kairos time (the quality of time)Universal income - untying productivity with your value in societyCould we live in a world where people do what they love with loveDepression and it's connection to purpose and meaningThe attention economy and how it draws people inMoral decision about what we produce and whether it's worthyInequity in salariesTime I spent at work doesn't matter  - what, how, and why matters more Quality of time versus quantity of timeResources:Taking Smart Risks - Doug SundheimMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm