The Leader Learner Podcast

Send us a text💡 SPOTLIGHTED BOOK : Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office 📚 GUEST READER : Valentina Tacchino💬 CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS:the book is very portable -- you can dip in and outhow girls/women are educated to be "nice" and certain behavior were educated with not making the most for them in an office environmentwhen being too "nice" can prevent us from standing up for ourselves or voicing our opinionsstudent behaviors don't work in an office environmentthe cultural conventions and unwritten rules in within a work environmentnot wanting to confirm and "erase" yourselfthe book not asking women to be like men, but does invite you to reflect on your behaviors in relation to what men do or don't domake any book you read yours - don't follow it to the letterretaining your own personality and consciousness into reading and applying the bookask yourself what type of manager and leader you want to beunwritten rules come with any organization or community - hours in the office, dress codes, etc.many companies spell out the culture now, but at the time it wasn't like thatwearing clothes that match your personality along with the unwritten rules of the industrysometimes you need to compromise on some things to make it easier for everyonementoring people without telling people what to dohaving to change how I spoke to fit into the culture -- how you sound, how you project, when to participate, managing up, etc.not saying yes just because someone is your bossstanding in your strength and in your valueslife and death moments in your career taking time and energy to find the way when saying "no" can nourish a relationship, rather than end itno is a powerful word in many contextsgetting curious about someone's "no" personal gratification is what will keep us goingshaking the tree, but not uprooting the treeℹ GUEST BIO AND LINKS: Valentina Tacchino leads a team focused on wealth management for international clients at LGT Wealth Management. She looks after UK resident, not living in the UK and clients moving to the UK.https://www.linkedin.com/in/valentina-tacchino-488b2a26/More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a text💡 SPOTLIGHTED BOOK : Unbound by Kasia Urbaniak 📚 GUEST READER : Lucy Chambers💬 CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS:when managing 2 opposing views together ( a Taoist Nun and a Dominatrix)power is connected to our attention and where we direct itDominant Position - attention outSubmissive Position - attention inLink to coaching and coaches not setting the agendapower is about influence and nothing elseboth types of attention have value"The SMUSH" - when we flip flop between the two states of attention, or we have a foot in each stateIncongruence occurs when our words don't match our energy - when we soften our words based on society's expectations on usPeople can smell intention - our animal body speaks more than we know/believeManipulation - women get seen as this more often than men. Women fall into this SMUSH more often than men.Learning to ask from a place of grounded legitimacy. Socialized that asking correlates with weaknessWe can't have an impact and play big if we aren't willing to ask for what we want/need"I am not having a conversation with _____________ about ___________."Asking exposes our edges.Connecting our requests to our universal human needs.Asking creates an opportunity for others and gives them a new role in their lifeBe as specific as you can when making requests. The half ask is the SMUSH. Wanting people to read our minds doesn't work. We have a poor vocabulary for how we feel.Ideas need to be nourished.Allowing our asks to delight other people as they fulfill them. When our asks create a WIN-WIN. Asking takes vulnerabilityThe toxic side of the independent woman - we don't have to do it all alone, and we are biologically leaned to connect with others.We don't create power siting alone in a room, but through connecting with others.Spend time taking things in and putting things out in the world.📚 OTHER BOOKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED:Imogen Roy Playing Big by Tara MohrThe Art of Asking by Amanda PalmerVideo Series : The Basics of Non-Violent Communication with Marshall Rosenberg Unreasonable Hospitality by Will GuidaraHow to Start a Mistress Group Workbookℹ GUEST BIO AND LINKS: Lucy Chambers is an anti-overwhelm coach and facilitator working on breaking old, broken patterns to create space for new great things. You can find and follow her at: https://facilitationmindset.substack.com/https://www.facilitationmindset.com/More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a text💡 SPOTLIGHTED BOOK : First Things First by Stephen  R. Covey 📚 GUEST READER : Maha Bali💬 CONVERATION HIGHLIGHTS:it's a life management book and how to prioritizeimagining the end of your life and what people will say about youLive, Love, Learn and Leave a Legacyvisualization where you attend your own funeralwhen what is written on paper and what you do in real time does not matchDo our personal goals interfere with our institution's goals?Switch careers in order to focus on learning and leaving a legacyYou don't need to be balanced in all areas at all times - you might focus more on love in some phases of your life and then lean into learning and legacy in other phaseswhen strong emotional labor in our work affects the rest of our lifewhen we pursue a legacy that isn't ourseducation systems all have their issueswhen our pain points direct our passions and desire to "fix" things later in liferestart works for more than computers and electronicsleaning into what brings you joy opportunity gaps can cause us to choose a certain path, even if it doesn't fit for uswhen your value as a person is not remunerated financially within societyreading books by only one demographic can be limitingreading things from different cultures takes additional reflectioninteracting with people from different cultures helps us understand other identitieswhen you read a book by someone who lived it versus reading a book by someone who has observed the same experiencewhen our looks and names get in the way of full assimilation in a countryempathy to others oppression as an outside observernot forcing people into our language dynamicssharing learning with others and giving it freelyshare questions, not just the answersworry about giving the wrong knowledge📚 OTHER BOOKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED:The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. CoveyMindvalley - Speak and Inspire CourseLisa NicholsBelong - Radha AgrawalEmergent Strategy - adrienne marree brownImagination : A Manifesto - Ruha BenjaminThe Art of Gathering - Priya ParkerThe Message by Ta-Nehisi Coatesℹ GUEST BIO AND LINKS: Maha Bali is Professor of Practice at the Center for Learning and Teaching at the American University in Cairo. She has a PhD in Education from the University of Sheffield, UK. She is co-founder of virtuallyconnecting.org (a grassroots movement that challenges academic gatekeeping at conferences) and co-facilitator of Equity Unbound (an equity-focused, open, connected intercultural learning curriculum, which has also branched into academic community activities Continuity with Care,Socially Just Academia, a collaboration with OneHE: Community-building Resources and MYFest, an innovative 3-month professional learning journey. She writes and speaks frequently about social justice, critical pedagogy, and open and online education. She blogs regularly at https://blog.mahabali.me and tweets @bali_maha.For Maha’s list of peer-reviewed publications, see here.For Maha’s list of keynotes and invited talks, More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a text💡 SPOTLIGHTED BOOK : Wild Mind by Bill Plotkin📚 GUEST READER : Andrei Stoicescu💬 CONVERATION HIGHLIGHTS:growing from a place of unknowingnot knowing where/when you will learn - it can happen at any timewe often forget that we are a part of natureeco-psychology lenswe live in an ecosystem and don't recognize our interdependenceeco-centric -- start from the place of recognizing the nature and niche around usyou can work with metaphor without understanding ityou can live beyond knowledge and understandingyou don't know what "cold" is before you experience itwe communicate through our energy, not just our wordsFour facets of the self - Interpersonal View of the SelfFeeling ThingsUsing your SensesUsing our IntellectUsing our ImaginationWhat happens if these facets are mature/immature? Many of us are stuck in perpetual adolescenceWe often develop our facets based on what the world needs of us at the timeKnowing your mature facet, and look toward the other facets to help you growMiscommunication can occur when our strong facets collide with other facetsWhat happens on your team when it's dominated by certain archetypes/facets? Dysfunction on teams occurs when we don't understand ourselves more deeply, and those of our colleaguesMeet yourself from the different facets and treat yourself with compassionShifting our strategies that worked in childhood that don't work as adultsImprove your leadership not through tactical ways, but through self-explorationBeginner's mind and humility in leadershipLook for the patterns in your lifeSeeing the gift in the other facets of of selfAll of us have a "wounded self" - can we have compassion for our self and that of othersTurn a sacred wound into a sacred scarBreak the promises you made to yourself when you were youngWhen we choose not to do the work, we pay in non-financial ways, so why not pay someone to help you do the work.📚 OTHER BOOKS MENTIONED:Soul Craft, also by Bill Plotkinℹ GUEST BIO AND LINKS: Born in an industrial town of a soon to come out of communism Romania, I fell in love with books and stories in primary school. I have loved music and singing for as long as I can remember and I dabbled with acting until I went to university. I left Architecture after 4 years of studies (out of 6) and quit working in Architecture and Design (after 5 years), started doing odd jobs until, at 25, I ended up in a (then) more than 100.000 employee corporation where I received an Employee of the Year award (in my service center) after my first year for opening a new business line. I joined a (then) small ESG Research provider as an Engineer and worked my way up to Director of Engineering in 4 years. Even before the pandemic came I felt that I need a shift in how I approach things in life so I quit climbing the corporate ladder and started studying Philosophy and Psychology. I hold the same position with my employer and do my best to be there with my team, colleagues and friends. I continued to make music throughout my life and am now working to create my own music-oriented company that will hopefully launch next year.LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrei-stoicescu/More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textLIVRE: Les structures fondamentales des sociétés humaines de Bernard LahireINVITÉ : Aïda KonéResumé:Comprendre les groupes humainsPsychologie - focus sur l'individuelSociologie - focus sur le groupeRacines communes entre les groupes Identifiez les différentes strates -- dimensions biologiques, sociales et culturellesPour un facilitateur ou coach d'équipe, c'est bien de savoir où tu vas réagir le groupe -- par quelle coucheLes couches sont bien mélanges Comment on est élevé, c'est la couche culturelle Métaphore utilisée --  le barba papa - le bâton, c'est la biologie, les aspects sociaux et culturels se tournent autour du bâtonOn a plusieurs dimensions dedans nous - empathique/coopératif et compétitif/dominant - l'un ET l'autre, pas l'un OU l'autreOn se ressemble fort quand on a un grand danger - catastrophe naturelleLes liens de forces sociologue -- il y a 10 dans le livre -- un est le rapport de dominationLes humaines sont l'animal qui reste dépendant sur nos parents le plus longs possibleLa hiérarchie est naturelle pour nous, donc il faut qu'on prenne attention quand on crée une cultureConnaissance de soi -- c'est quoi ma culture personnelle et ma response de domination/contrôle?Pas tout le monde préfère une entreprise avec le management horizontaleLe conflit a un aspect positif -- les gens son engagée Les valeurs sont exprimées dans le conflitPas tous les conflits ont besoin d'un modérateur/triceOn s'adapte à la culture ou on est Voit l'aspect positif dont on ne perd pas l'espoirLes femmes a le rôle de porter les bébés, donc ça donner le rôle d'hommes plus tôt à l'extérieur On est dans une transition vers l'égalité entre hommes et femmesPetites étapes pour garder l'espoirIl n'y a pas une hiérarchie entre biologie et cultureAutres livres mentionnée:Humankind by Rutger BergmanBIOGRAPHIE D'AÏDA:J'accompagne les dynamiques collectives en contexte de transformation avec les postures de coach d'équipes, facilitatrice, designer et formatrice.Je suis particulièrement sensible aux enjeux de la transition écologique qui nous invitent à questionner nos interactions entre humains et avec le vivant dans son ensemble. J'ai 48 ans, j'ai fait des études d'arts appliqués et ai travaillé dans la communication et le marketing avant de m'orienter vers l'accompagnement LIEN LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aida-koneMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textSpotlight Book: That's What She Said by Joanne LipmanGuest : Dominique Ara Conversation Highlights:soft skills are people to peopletransgender experiences can give a peak into how our gender biases show uphard to recognize that we live in a man's worldnot only men interrupt women - women do it toowe're not dreaming - the experience of the world is different if you are a man or a womanneed more sponsors versus mentorsmentors - give us advice, been there before, tactical approachessponsor - pave the way for us, put our name forward for mentorship can create more women acting like menthe way we are conditioned can set up how we see the gender differenceshow to integrate when you are the "only" when you're trained to look at the differences in order to better integratewomen have learned to talk "men"empowerment - the permission to not "act as if" but to act as I amteam up with the people who think like me20% of the people can change a system the power of getting together with others to change the systemmen are not the "bad guys" - they are shamed for being a manmen are good people who have been conditioned into this systemwhen courtesy becomes condescendingwhen men don't say anything when they could/shouldthe risk of speaking up that men feel -- they may disagree, but they don't speak up because they don't want to lose power/rank among the mencoming in new to an organization where there is already a hierarchy - create a shared community and purpose that flattens the hierarchywhen bad habits come back under pressure/stress understanding when/how I feel threatened, and what behaviors come up when under threat until proven otherwise, men are seen as competent -- until proven otherwise, women are seen as Incompetentwhat if women don't have imposter syndrome or confidence issues - it's just that the system forces women to prove ourselves moreblind auditions in symphonies/orchestras - erases some of the biasIceland as the number 1 ranked country for gender equity -- and it's not the women involved, it's the menthe action men take need to NOT discredit themselvesalliances between men/women to amplify one another's voiceseducate our boys differently12 TIPS from the book:Interrupt InterruptersUse Amplification and Brag BuddiesDiversify interviewers, not just the applicantsShe'll help your bottom lineShe's not sorry, she's not lucky, and she's not asking you a questionYay, that's not a complimentShe's pretty sure you don't respect herDon't decide for herDon't be afraid of tearsShe's ready for a raise, but she won't ask for herHire women your mom's ageShe deserves a promotion, she just doesn't know it yet. Other Books Mentioned:Belonging by Owen EastwoodGUEST BIO:Dominique provides teams and organizations with the best appropriate medicine to heal interpersonal communication diseases. She aims to energize and empower people to transform their future by expressing their full potential today. Dominique helps corporation executives to align their core values into everyday life. She is a senior-certified coach in Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ). You can find out more at:https://dominique-ara.com/en/about/  https://www.linkedin.com/in/dominique-ara/More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textSPOTLIGHTED BOOK: The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan SchaflerGUEST READER : Viktoriia Berezhna CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS:Perfectionism evolves over time when we challenge our beliefsPreparing does help, but doesn't change perfectionismThe 5 Kinds of Perfectionists : Classic, Intense, Messy, Procrastinator, ParisianIntense - really high expectations for self and others and get intense if expectations not metProcrastinator Perfectionist - wait until it's flawless before putting it out thereAre there differences in how perfectionism shows up based on your age?Perfectionism being external - meeting invisible standardsThe role of social media on perfectionismWhen you're driven by what other people thinkSmall towns, gossip, and the connection to perfectionismLiving in integrity means letting go of perfectionismWhen you take something that's perfect in your head and move to create it in the real worldAre we afraid of the reality not meeting our vision, or the feelings that come upPerfectionism connected to shame, regret, grief, etc. Not calling ourselves as a "Recovering Perfectionism"Can you see perfectionism as a super-power? Use perfectionism in an adaptive and maladaptive way.Positive sides of perfectionism When you work in a team and how perfectionism styles collidePerfectionism is not an illnessSeeing the gifts in your individual perfectionismPower in the self-awareness of your perfectionismPurposely making mistakes to "cure" perfectionismDifferent contexts drive different perfectionist tendencyHow do we become a perfectionist?  Conditioning from parents, society, etc.What we do to make our parents feel proud.Coping mechanisms vary depend on the type of perfectionist you areKnowing who you are as a way to help you copeKeep self moving and out of over-thinking - preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing, making a list about what to do is also not doing the thingRepeated action - just start.Do something in which you never expect yourself to be perfect. Purposely be bad. Whose yardstick are you measuring yourself by?Whose rules are you living by? Can you break some of them? How do you know if you are striving in a healthy way or in a perfectionist way?OTHER BOOKS MENTIONED:Playing Big by Tara MohrThe Anxious Generation by Jonathan HaidtGUEST BIO:Viktoriia is a product designer with a passion for creating impactful and user-friendly solutions. With over two years of experience at her current workplace as a Design Team Lead, she is exploring her path as a leader. Currently, she's building a startup called Bookclub VR, an Extended Reality app designed for reading and book clubs, alongside an incredible team of professionals. Beyond her work, I’m passionate about reading fiction, playing all kinds of racket sports (with a special love for table tennis), and constantly surface-learning new and interesting things, all while still being deeply connected to her journey in design.https://www.linkedin.com/in/viktoriiaberezhnaya/https://www.linkedin.com/company/bookclubvr/More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us a textSPOTLIGHTED BOOK: Moose Heads on the Table by Karin Tenelius and Lisa GillGUEST READER : Alejandro Garcia MachucaCONVERSATION TOPICS:Leadership is something you step in and out of. It's too heavy to be a leadership all the time.Self managed organizations don't have managers - they distribute the power and authority among the employeesWhen people take ownership for their work, they don't need managersManager as the person who clears the way for others to do their work3 Big Lessons From the Book - a coaching mindset and way of being, a focus on a working climate, a culture of mandate and involvementHaving the power to give the power awayPower will always emergePeople require sensing and adaptingMost of the underlying issues are unsaidMoose Heads on the Table = Elephant In the RoomAdvice being toxic as it disempowers employeesLeaders NOT being the hero.Managing others means not doing the job When being "helpful" erodes trust with the teamLegitimacy comes from trust.There is no such thing as objectivity. There is intersubjectivity and agreement.We all have blind spots. Be humble. Managing and leading aren't the same thing. The "Listening Gym" - If we honored listening most, there would be a listening gym on very cornerLeaders are listeners Light fades away, but gravity holds it all together. We wouldn't have stars without gravity, but we only see the light. Be like gravity - hold it all together without being seen. People won't be silent if they feel empoweredPassivity and patience aren't the same thing.There is a lot of activity in listening. Lau Tzu Quote: Go to the people. Live with them. Learn from them. Love them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. But with the best leaders, when the work is done, they task accomplished, the people will say, "We have done this ourselves." People gifted to speak and people gifted to listen. Leadership not as a ladder, but as pendulum.When the belief of arriving somewhere keeps us stuck.Can't have true power without listeningPower is an emergent property of groups. You know when things are working when people are engaged - people taking charge of their meetings, claiming their own power, focusInformation when shared regains its purpose - it's the same with power. Power is like fertilizer. Concentrated it poisons. Spread around it nourishes. BOOKS MENTIONED/OTHER RESOURCES:The Advice Trap, by Michael Bungay StanierNo Rule Rules, Erin Meyer and Reed HastingsUnlearning Silence, by Elaine Lin HeringGood to Great, by Jim CollinsThe Power of Giving Away Power, by Matthew GUEST BIO AND LINKS:Alejandro is currently navigating the muddy waters of fully remote work environments and the ever constant shift of focus and responsibilities within his job as a Software Consultant. In a nutshell, his responsibility is to design and deliver transformational programs aimed at improving collaboration, all of it underlining the wonders of visual collaboration technology. Beyond all the above verbiage, he's passionate about anything that's deeply moving, highly thoughtful, and unmistakably authentic. He takes conversations, vulnerability and presence very seriously.Linkedin : https://www.linkedin.com/in/alejandrogarciamachuca/More yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

In this conversation with Vincent Musolino, a leadership coach and founder of COAPTA, the duo delves into the power of metaphors in organizations. They discuss how metaphors shape our perceptions and can predict challenges. Vincent emphasizes the importance of multiple metaphors to avoid reductive thinking and enhance problem-solving. They explore timeless concepts from Gareth Morgan's work, illustrating the significance of cultural dynamics and human relationships in organizational development. A refreshing take on leadership and collaboration awaits!

Send us a textCheck-In:What actor or actress would play you in the movie version of your life? Episode 1:Power is for everyonePower is an expression of our relationships within groupsPower over and power to are different How different types of power unconsciously drive usEpisode 2:Unleashing is allowingWho is doing the unleashing? Purpose is in relationship to othersPurpose is temporary People can do the same job but find different meaningPurpose vs meaningEpisode 3:Belief that everyone is doing the best that they can  - Is that true and does that set us up for failureGenerous intentWe can't fully understand people, and they may not even understand themselvesUnderstanding as an illusionEpisode 4:The treadmill idea - what happens to people that they get matrixed into a corporate job? Multiple causes for treadmill - fulfilling expectations (society, family, etc.)HR looking for second generation immigrants due to high motivationWhen people tell you no, it can push you even moreEpisode 5:Vulnerability as a strength even in Coming into leadership in a protective state versus an open statePower dynamics shift how vulnerable we can beEpisode 6:Being autonomous and interdependentRugged individualism can hold us back when we don't ask for helpEpisode 7:Gratitude coming from withinRecognition coming from outside of usEpisode 8:Some people who don't want a voiceWhen people aren't ready to be empowered?Stepping back and looking at the bigger picture and where an employee fits inEpisode 9:Is salary enough for engagement?Salary is not a driver for everyone Disparity between what society says we need and what we actually needGenerational differencesEpisode 10:"You don't have to ask, but you have to listen." Many of us know what listening is, but we don't know how to do itPoor listening as a way to sit with discomfortAsking questions not to know more, but to understandEpisode 11:Chess and checkersEpisode 12:Empowering people to grow - what if they don't want to grow?Rock starts versus Super stars - it's important to honor people where they areEpisode 13:The importance of storiesIf we don't hear other people's stories, we make up storiesBrains liking closed loopsIf we have a shared sense of who we are below our rolesShow don't tellEpisode 14:Is awareness enough to change behavior?Nothing new is created from self-awareness - self-awareness just the startTaking responsibility for your behaviorEpisode 15:Being too passive in your relationship to your managerImposter Syndrome gets in the way of asking manager for moreEpisode 16:Do we have to let go of "When I was your age?"Not about what you said, but how you said itCreating connection through stories of our generation, not from a sense of our way was betterSharing perspective goes both ways across generationsEpisode 17:Free added value - when corporations exploit employee generosityERG - Employee Resources Groups - when organizations ask employees to volunteer their time to push DEI initiativesEpisode 18:Why don't peopMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm